LTA: A pretty crappy YouTube classic

So before I get into the review, here's an update on the Hi Honey, I'm Home pilot. I skimmed over a majority of it just to get to A.J. McLean's parts, and just knowing how awful one of the characters are, I didn't wanna go back to it.

With that out of the way, let's scrape out the last few braincells in my head.

Remember Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa? That incredibly obscure Christmas film that aired on The WB('s local affiliates in syndication), and became a big deal due to it being lost media, then it landed in the crosshairs of various cartoon reviewers and was a big deal for a while before falling into obscurity again? Well it turns out they went on to do other things. I'm not referring to Dinosaur Island, no, I'm referring to something more obscure, but surprisingly easier to find.

P.S., I wasn't brought there by RebelTaxi.

Background

While it's mentioned that Wolf Tracer had involvement in this, the only true connection is another employee that was involved in their other works.

The show, or channel, whatever applies best, was created by Dave Edison and J.R. Horsting. Edison is an editor, and I'll let his resume speak for itself: http://www.daveedison.com/resume.html

To heck with Edison, Horsting is far more interesting. After some small roles in Indian in the Cupboard and a Star Trek flick, he had the most involvement with Wolf Tracer Studios, working on both of their projects before co-helming this. If it's the same guy, he's currently whining about Republicans on Twitter. If you're a washed up actor, you either appear on Law and Order or you whine about Trump on Twitter.

Whether or not this was intended to be a pilot for a full series can be taken with a grain of salt. It seems Horsting ran the channel and Edison assisted on editing. He seemed so proud of this project it's buried in video after video of clips of comedians, and probably some other original content. Apparently they moved to another channel, only to drop off in 2011. I'll link both channels down below when I'm through.

The Short

Before I go into this, I'd like to make something clear. They didn't take this short seriously, it's an absurdist short that was made up as it went along. I get that, I have no issue with absurdism, either it manages to weave an interesting premise or there is a point to it, if not allowing people to come to their own conclusions.

My issue here is that there's no meaning to their madness. These are dumb skits through and through, even Mr. Pickles had meaning to its madness. This wouldn't even fly on Adult Swim. Even the sight gags can be predictable (you see two men with pies for heads, throwing a pie at another, guess what's in the pie?

If you want some real absurdity that has some surprising meaning, check out Arise! Church of the Subgenius.

Plus they have their own crap advertising (get it, because it's Crappco). Points for not making a shit joje out of Nestea, but Nas-Tea is Wacky Package-tier. As for a yogurt commercial poking fun at redundancy, if this is something yogurt commercials did, fair game, but come on, not even Family Guy did that, they made fun of eye-floaters, but how much mileage can you get out of redundancy in yogurt commercials?

But to be fair, I didn't expect something like baby bras. That's... desperate all things considered. What? They trying to ease us into something shocking by throwing two mediocre jokes at us?

Self-awareness can go both ways, on one hand it's out of left field and shows the creators are in on the feelings viewers have of their work. On the other hand, it's code for they don't give a fuck and they just want whatever excuse they could to act like any of this is worthwhile.

Onto the show proper, we get either an Elvira: Mistress of the Night parody, or a half-hearted MST3K parody. Not much to say here beyond a fake-out with the "come closer" schtick and hijinks with a spider and a fly, the former looking like a puffball that looks strangely familiar. All we get is some occasional sight gags and dialog, maybe the humor is in the fake movie they show?

Now I place importance on the movie they show because an abstract concept would be present in an already abstract concept, sky's the limit, and we got.... Gary Cole as a giant with his trademark quotes. Did I expect this? No. Does it make things any better? They frame the idea of someone mutating from years of exposure to television, there were many directions this could've gone, Gary Coleman just isn't exciting or absurd enough to inspire interest.

Also for the record Coleman was alive at this time, so this wasn't disrespecting him. I think this is making fun of the fact that Gary Coleman is now the size of the average human and people are overreacting. The joke would work better if it was just overreaction and Gary goes on like normal, or the other way around, but this is played relatively straight.

If that didn't tickle your fancy, how about a hollow stab at smell-o-vision involving farting monkeys? How would that work on television?

But that's the end of one glorified non-sequitur, onto another. A duck gets an enema and screeches real loud. There was no other way to describe it, so there you go.

People who hate Carrot Top to the same extent a stick-figure Stan Smith hates a self-insert in a dog's body will get a kick out of this next segment. An albino Michael Buckley hosts over Carrot Top getting torn to pieces in a blender. Talking about that was a lot more interesting than the dialog heard before it, but surprisingly he lives at the end of it. They allude to another guest but it ends there. I'd say this was just a seven minute promo, but that was the show, at least, the core of it.

Ever wanted to see the misadventures of a fetus dressed like he's out of a detective drama? Then let's be grateful no other episodes were made of this. Just a bunch of ads for other skits featured on the show, not even worth mentioning aside from a painfully edgy Teletubbies parody, then it ends with actual ads (well, actual by them.), I'd say none of them are interesting, but something tells me Mike Myers saw the last ad and decided to reference it in the all time classic The Love Guru.

Overall

I can forgive this if it was some one-off project by a bunch of young immature teenagers just having fun, but the fact that this was a conscious effort by people with experience in the animation business, hell experience with the basic principles of film and television production puts this in a whole other pond. Compared to, let's say those edgy flash shorts that were common in the late-2000s, I can accept those as they are adult parodies of things aimed at younger audiences, at the very least there's a point to them.

Where was I? Oh yeah, there's no method to the madness of this video, absurdism works best when there is a point to be made, the only time it's okay not to have a point is if you're David Lynch. Things happen here for the sake of happening, any jokes are either too obvious or lack the right kind of delivery, it's a slog.

Now you may be thinking "Chann, this was like, what, 2007? This is a new low even for you." Once more, this was made by someone with experience in professional editing. This was also made by someone who was a producer, animator and art director on something that made it on television, it may be bad, but it got on television. I'm just saying, the first Newgrounds animation posted in the year 2000 has more effort, and it involves animal violence. Hell, David Lynch's Dumbland is an absurd series of shorts that's more interesting than this.

Seems like Horsting is trying to distance himself from the fact he has been associated with sheer crap with blue bricks. Unless some cook just so happens to share the same name as him. Remind him of your fond memories of him.

Hi Honey, I'm Home review

Have I reached that point? It seems so. When it comes to reviewing, I tend to either find the worst in the best or vice versa or just shine some light on the more obscure flicks/shows. I never wanna be too obvious with what I pick, but unfortunately, this is a rather obscure program for all the right reasons. So without further interruptions.

The unsold pilot Heil Honey, I'm Ho- just kidding. For the uninformed this was a reference to an old video I commentated on years ago, they said the title but used the wrong title screen (people wouldn't get it, so I had to clarify). If you wanna see for yourself, along with get a good laugh, check out this video, it's ratio and the fact the comments are now closed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCER_L6GyH4

But anyway, it was through that video I was reminded of this show. I had seen an episode of it way back when online, forgot about it, tried coming back to it and, well, you know how a lot of sitcoms in the 80s/90s tend to hold up poorly? I wish I could subvert expectations here. Don't get me wrong, there are more obscure sitcoms from this era that held up okay, like The Charmings, Rags to Riches, Family Matters, The Wonder Years, Dinosaurs, Full House depending on who you ask, you see?

Since I'm one of the few who'd ever talk about this show, we have much to unpack here.

Background

Hi Honey, I'm Home was released as part of ABC's TGIF block in 1991. You'd be forgiven for not knowing about this show as it only lasted for a six episode season on ABC. But wait, here's where things get interesting. The show was taped at Nickelodeon Studios... in Orlando Florida (try saying the first half without the other the bump's so well engrained into most of our minds.)

I bring that up because of a tandem network deal between ABC and Nickelodeon. During the first season, ABC would air the show on Fridays and would be reran on Nick at Nite every Sunday. However, due to low ratings and Nick at Nite at the time being known as a block on a network not in direct competition with the big three, they opted to continue production for another season... of seven episodes.

Beyond a talk show revival relating to Green Acres (though to be fair I doubt it'd be any worse than Alf's talk show), this was Nick at Nite's first original production. Think of that what you will.

While this show was able to bring in popular actors from classic sitcoms such as Ann B. Davis as Alice (no seriously, she was brought in as a cameo), Al Lewis (take a guess who he plays with the cameo bit in mind), Gomer Pyle (Shazam!), Beaver's mom (Leave it to Beaver) and Alice without Jackie Gleason, and that was just the first season... I hardly recognize a bulk of the cast here.

The only ones I kinda recognize are Julie Benz, who would be better known for playing Darla on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, among various other roles, as well as former Backstreet boy A.J. McLean, but he only appeared in the show's pilot. Was the idea to not overshadow classic sitcom stars? Or were they trying to preserve the Nickelodeon spirit with the hammiest actors they could find, spoilers.

Many of the main actors, while not notable, had gone on to do some small acting stints since this show. Stephen Bradbury had appeared in not one, but three renditions of Law and Order, where they take on anyone with a pulse apparently.

Charlotte Booker actually made the rounds in various comedy shows such as The Larry Sanders Show, NewsRadio, The Drew Carey Show and 3rd Rock from the Sun, and even appeared in the under appreciated horror anthology Monsters, but also dabbled in drama shows (and not just Law and Order, she appeared there too), such as Party of Five, Grace Under Fire, and her most recent consisting acting gig was in Power.

I'd end it here, but I feel like talking about the fate of the actor that would replace A.J. McLean in the full series, Eric Kushnick. This was his first acting gig, and to be fair he had something of a career since, appearing in The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Spin City, Judging Amy and Grounded for Life before dropping off in 2002, but to be fair I guess that was his choice.

The show was created by Rick Mitz and Penny Stallings. Mitz would go on to write for Remember WENN? A slightly more serious version of something like WKRP in Cincinnati, that aired on AMC of all places, and something called... The Spinoffs?

This was Stallings' only effort, beyond a self-appearance in an episode of The Mike Douglas Show back in 1979.

So show now

Hi Honey, I'm Home centers on a cancelled sitcom family (back when cancellation solely revolved around TV shows) who promptly move in to a real world neighborhood. I don't just mean the actors who played the sitcom family, I mean the characters, real life characters, move in to a neighborhood that's in reality.

There is one thing I'd like to question. Their presence is meant to be kept under wraps to prevent their chances of getting back on the air from getting slighted. I gotta ask, is this cancellation just an indefinite hiatus? Are they trying to get onto syndication? I don't get the stakes they're trying to throw here. If this is to keep fans and the paparazzi off their backs, that'd be pretty cliche.

So it's a 50s sitcom family living in early-90s suburbia, their secret known by a teenaged boy who goes nuts over that kind of stuff. Think Pleasentville but without a condescending and artificial conflict caused by a bitch of a sister who proceeds to ruin her brother's fun just cuz. I'd have no right to mock the boy given my interest in logos, and crappy movies.

When you hear the term 50s family, you automatically gravitate toward stereotypes, housemaker and lack of much else mom (Honey, yes that's what she is called as a pun on the title), goofball dad (Lloyd), airhead (Babs- wait, were airheads a thing in the 50s?), the well meaning and loyal youngest son (Chucky), all we need is the sporty middle child son and we'd have a full deck. But onto the surname... Nielsen, based off of the Nielsen ratings, get it, because this is about a cancelled sitcom family. The name Nielsen had become synonymous with two very specific things, and it'd be a hard sell to make the name stand on its own. Only other direction the show could take with that surname is if it were a vanity project starring Leslie Nielsen.

I'll say this, they do attempt to get the 50s family into more modern conventions, but most of the time they just go for the bare minimum. If a premise presents itself to me, I'd be compelled to give the episode a chance. There was one that caught my interest, one where Lloyd falls into depression after an identity crisis following his inability to find a job and maintain his title as pants wearer. Unfortunately, due to the lack of available episodes, I'm stuck with an episode that's probably gonna feel artificial. But I feel like revisiting the first episode I ever watched of the show, which is ironically the first.

Now, there's no better place to start than the first episode, and this is a redo of an older pilot, so as far as I know this is up to the standards they had set.

Now I Watch an Episode

After an elaborate theme song where the people's expressions are the only annoying things about it, along with the occasionally clunky lyricism, though for a theme song that describes what the plot is is a mixed bag, save it for episodes after the first so newcomers could be caught up to speed.

We start off with the sitcom nut, Mike, watching the in-show Hi Honey, I'm Home with the kind of enthusiasm that asks "Is this real? Does this look convincing enough?" Okay this was his first acting gig, with his latest being a brief stint in the Joker. That is the tits. But he is basically me when I check out bad movies while not talking over them like an idiot appealing to other idiots.

Just to be fair, Charlotte Booker plays the 50s wife schtick pretty well when she isn't asked to go over the top, and any bad acting would be due to either poor direction or writing. Stephen Bradbury is the most hammy of the two in terms of first impressions, but I need to be fair, this is like his, what, his fourth acting gig? One of the previous four being a presidential drama film which he apparently had top billing in?

Most of the jokes are all about 50s sitcoms, but unlike shows like The Critic, outsiders can be eased into them. Kid watches old sitcom, they associate June Cleaver with a 50s sitcom. At least it attempts to ease people in.

You know you're in the early 90s when you catch a character with a mullet. When it comes to how they break the news on the cancellation, just mentioning something new will be in its time-slot, that's actually the best approach they could take. However, part of me feels like they're implying the show had been running new episodes, but maybe they could've just meant reruns no longer being done.

Mike is interesting in concept, a 90s teen who enjoys more nostalgic programs, but then they bring up the daughter on the show within a show, spoiler, he becomes smitten with her (not that she's smart enough to know). Two minutes and I'm already seeing red. I wish they would've had more characters who merely had an odd interest, nothing else to it. All else I can say about Mike is that he kinda reminds me of a young Michael J. Fox. It was a year after the last Back to the Future movie... but I wonder if he was any better than Eric Stolz?

We get nothing but bickering between Mike and his mother until we meet our bigger leads, spoiler, they focus on their relationship in one episode where Mike is revealed to be the man of the house. Only other thing I saw similar was Out There, based on the durotagonist's relationship with his mother, but I just felt like namedropping an underrated show.

If mullets don't scare you, wait till you see Mike's younger brother's hair, the kind that makes you question if he's trying to scare bullies away through self-awareness. But wait, he kinda is a bully. Add some eyeliner and an interest in new wave and arts and hope he goes on to start a band pioneering a subgenre in metal. Oh and he calls his mother by name, (It's Elaine for the record, gotta work on getting the names out.) If you have no confidence to continue, check out God, The Devil and Bob, Sammy and Golan the Insatiable as examples of other shows where we have troubled youths refer to their parents by their names.

But first, neighbors. And this time it's important.

And just like that, no build-up or fanfare, we suddenly see 50s mother, Honey, and her acting takes a dive. Any good lines, whether it be obligatory stabs at cliches (which ironically have become cliched in recent years) are ruined by poor delivery. But don't get me wrong, we do get some bad lines and jokes too, such as a correction on whom the bully (Skunk) wishes to be referred to, right after saying his real name. I can't mention every poor joke in this because it's better heard than mentioned, but I'll be damned if I honor a promise to not bring it up.

Sight gags too. Can mace cause wall-hung decorations to fall? Also that bottle looks more like breath spray or hairspray if you wanna be really creative. Was it any better to not have her spray herself in the eyes? Lest they got legitimate mace and wanted to avoid a lawsuit, or maybe they were trying to get this in one shot and it was an unfortunate accident for the thing to fall. Pretty commendable, but the last show I know of that tried to carry on with a continuous take was one of the worst Canadian shows until the Canadian Ellen helped change our minds.

But now, feminism. Out of nowhere Elaine brings up a petition, lest I missed a hint implying this would happen, but hey, I know who she's voting for. And the women's right to choose? I was close to criticizing Honey asking what women would choose, but thinking about it, this makes it seem like Elaine had been living under a rock. Take that tidbit out, we have an obvious but clever joke that pins 50s housewife conventions against a pretty solid prediction of borderline militant feminism. All we need is an undercut.

I wish Elaine held onto the mace, where she would spray Honey in the eyes out of sheer rage and help to establish plots that would be rectified in other episodes.

To further go on the poor joke delivery, Skunk asks Chucky for a high five, Chucky give him five dollars. It would've been better if Skunk said give me five, I know they go for obvious jokes, that was the climate for family sitcoms at the time, I get it, but they have to be done right. Even Full House was able to do this.

Out of the gate, at least Honey is able to pick up on the secret that has to be kept, not even getting curb-stomped by the fact that a teenaged boy would recognize her. Would've been funny if his interest in 50s sitcoms came up overtime and she'd assume he's eying her as some kind of model. If Barb was the first person he saw, I think things would've gone ham sandwich with a side of bacon.

But anyway, secret trust is established, and one thing I realized is that they alluded to the plot of this episode through the in-show episode of the in-show. Interesting idea, seeing if lightning can strike in the same place twice when it comes to people of different times and beliefs, let's see how they handle it, who's cameoing in this episode? Gale Gordon as Theodore J. Mooney from I Love Lucy? I mean sure he was a boss in some capacity. I have seen a few episodes of I Love Lucy, but never caught this character.

Right now, I think Elaine is trying to out ham Honey. She never landed another role until 1999, dare I say this made a huge dent in her career. Also she appeared in Law and Order, and apparently she's also a stage actor, which may account for the gaps in her resume. But as of now, she begs to be played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Either she didn't have a chance to finish or forgot that Massachusetts also has a Springfield.

I should be writing my discussion posts for school, yet I'm killing braincells keeping up with hammy jokes. Thank god assignments are due a minute before midnight on the day.

I see Babs for the first time, and something tells me Mike likes his women the way he likes his style. Old fashioned. At least she isn't just some vixen, this indirectly helped give Mike an edge, though this just coincides with his odd interest in 50s shows. Okay I defended the odd interest, but it's how they go about it here.

Also Elaine eyes a young girl's chest. Not even I looked there until someone brought it up. Wait, is that why Mike is eying her? Am I really going to get mad about how an obscure show no one cares about handles a character? Can anger just be mutually exclusive to exclamation points and repetition?

Back to the givens, since the Nielsens are meant to be caricatures of 50s sitcom characters, it's hard to expect much from them, but it comes around the other way too if you have this unique premise and do nothing with it. Anyhow, they don't reveal the truth to him just yet, and for whatever flack I may give Stephen Bradbury, I'll admit, his first introduction in the real world was grinworthy, and it gave me something to think about, whether he confused a mugger with an old woman (less the latter pickpockets) or he confuses a valet with a carjacker.

They do have this remote where they change the environment to black and white and restore older personalities. I think this is like Wandavision, but I haven't seen that show enough to make a solid comparison, and fuck, I'm not giving Disney any more money.

I need a break, fortunately the copy I'm watching has commercials, even if none are very interesting, though do they still make Milky Way ice cream bars? Also did you know MTV hosted a TV special related to racism, hosted by Queen Latifah? By the way it isn't lost media, it's on YouTube.

Back to the show, Lloyd assumes The Flintstones makes more sense than a 50s sitcom family within a color changing environment (and it was around here that I got to the moment in the episode I was first introduced to the show.) There's funny idiocy, then there's desperate idiocy, but the cat's out of the bag and the realization had been implied in my plot summary, beyond the SRP detail, "Sitcom Relocation Program."

Honestly, the idea of various sitcoms being moved to a neighborhood seems like an interesting idea. ABC had plenty of sitcoms at their disposal, and they already were able to book cameos from stars in them, sounds like wasted potential, but at least they kinda tried to incorporate the idea, I guess. I don't like how they imply they're stuck here until they can go back on the air. A 50s sitcom wouldn't fly beyond reruns, so them being here is darker than you think, a sitcom family being put out to pasture unaware of the reason behind it and the broader implications. Think Captain Star, but that had much more to go off of with ageism and commercialism.

The references to other sitcoms and where they live seem iffy to me. Why would My Mother, The Car('s characters) be sent to Cleveland? Was Michigan too obvious? Hello, Larry (or just Larry) is said to be in Buffalo... what's the relation? Interestingly, both of these sitcoms have become infamous for their low quality, so maybe the twist is that Hi Honey, I'm Home was cancelled unceremoniously because people hated it, and the SRP wanted to send them off without letting their own cat out of the bag. I wish they touched more on the quality of their original sitcom, but they come close to getting their own show back.

Side-note, for those who may bring it up, this predated Pleasentville, and this is hardly anything like that.

Also, Honey say "One of us even got elected president.", before you think it, this was made in the George H.W. Bush administration. Before you think this took a stab at Bush, this was very likely a joke about Ronald Regan, even though Regan mainly appeared in anthology programs and westerns, not sitcoms.

Back to the conflict, I'm questioning why people knowing of their true identities would compromise them getting back on the air. If this is a new show airing in the modern era it wouldn't fly. People would view them as either celebrities or method actors, apparently Mike was the only one who recognizes them, as they're comfortable enough to go out in public. What am I missing here? It's nothing curtains and locks can't fix if they want to simulate black and white. If I keep thinking this I'm gonna lose a lot more braincells.

Did someone say Turner reference? Because Technicolor was too obvious?

Also she's keeping up with modern dialog, which is ironically more dated than her own dialog. Hearing more of it, hey, so that's what a vessel burst feels like. I dunno, maybe I got it thinking how much worse this could be if the neighbors were black, then things would turn more uncomfortable. They were around before the Johnson administration.

But now let's take a break and whine about one of the characters.

Break

Going into this, I assumed I'd hate Honey by the end of it, but looking back now, she was actually pretty bearable, beyond some gaffs. Ten minutes to the end, and I can say with the utmost confidence that Elaine is the worst character in the show, bar none. The Nielsens are archetypical, but I can forgive that, culture clash scenarios, but Elaine? Obnoxious, irritable, preachy, condescending, dare I say misandristic? Just a reminder that at one point during their introduction she whips out a petition relating to feminist causes.

Feminists get a bad rep, I understand that discrimination is still a thing, but she represents the kind of feminist who would ruin the concept for anybody. Think Lois (from Malcolm in the Middle) crossbred with Lisa Simpson, she's just as preachy and annoying. Hell, she causes a crisis that would occur later on. Thanks to the secret BS, Honey is forced to contend with pre-made food, a concept foreign to her. I'm not getting on her for bringing premade food (in spite of what I said) since the timeframe would've been unreasonable as Lloyd's boss was coming, either this is more about how the secret business is more trouble than it's worth, or how maybe Elaine's pride would've yielded the same results.

I get why people go on about comeuppance, because just the fact that someone knowingly sabotages someone because of their own ego and getting away with it... it's unsatisfying, and this is the first time I ever encountered her so I have no intent of getting to know her further. By the way she doesn't get any better as this episode goes on.

Preserve the cause, get rid of the promoters that run the cause into the ground.

Now back to the show

Getting to the scene which I assumed was where Honey was at her hammiest... it's better than I remembered. I guess since I've seen a lot of cheesy stuff since then I've become numb to it. Does a mixer cause pre-made pudding to rise like yeast?

The food is burnt and Mike calls KFC to save the day (actually, Chicken Lickin, a name that makes me yearn for Chokey Chicken, even Chewy Chicken.) Also Mike's interest in the old show comes from him clamoring for a proper family. Seeing the kind of mother he has and a hellraiser for a brother, I can accept that.

Anyway, Mr. Mooney comes in, and no, that's not in reference to his better known character, that is actually Mr. Mooney, the character Gale Gordon is playing. I mentioned this before. I think this was the draw for viewers, seeing old familiar characters, and I'll admit, had I not known about the schtick behind the series it would've caught me off... had I known about the character in the show he originally appeared on.

Also, side note, this was Gale Gordon's second to last role. He would die four years later.

We're four minutes to the end, end credits included, so it's an appropriate time to put in commercials. At least now I'm clued in to a series of commercial shorts Nick at Nite did involving a milk man (I never saw it.... yet it looks so familiar. Similar thing happened when I saw the sixth episode of Sammy, it was an episode that aired on television, yet I never heard of the show till recently, and one scene was familiar.)

So, I guess to contrast with the ending to the 50s show where a good dinner with the boss leads to a promotion, they have it where Lloyd's place of work is shut down. Was this part of Mr. Mooney's schtick? That's another downside, the only chance you can really enjoy the show is if you know about the cameo characters. Otherwise, this is an oddly dark piece of subversion.

He came to dinner just to break that news to him, guy must've had a wicked sense of humor, sorta like the creators, who have a bizarre techno mix play during the end credits. It's the 90s, techno's where it was at, oh thank god I didn't have a developed conscious until at least the year 2000.

I like how the Nickelodeon Studios bump was shot while it was cloudy outside, it's symbolic really, a sign of certain disaster. Or maybe I'm just being too dramatic.

Final Thoughts

This show was fine for the period, but is among the few 90s shows that held up poorly, only being ahead of the curve in the worst possible ways. Is this the worst sitcom I've ever seen? No, not really. I'm bound to find something worse, but for a fish out of water type show, it just wasn't good.

Want to watch a show that did this right? Check out The Charmings, featuring Snow White and Prince Charming in a modern setting, but somehow they aren't annoying about their lack of connection to the modern world, are willing to try and be better about it, they don't have a secret to keep, not even the neighbors are that bad, and that was released in 1987. It was by the same people who made The Nanny, but it was possible to make a sitcom that can hold up, a more obscure one that is.

The pilot containing A.J. McLean is up on YouTube, but I really don't wanna go back to- wait, Elaine is different too? I won't do a direct review of that, but I will (hopefully remember) to tell you my thoughts in my next review. Either I'll be looking at an obscure Christian horror film from 2003 produced by the same company behind Left Behind... the 2000 version, the good version, or a 1995 horror film starring Johnny Storm... from the 1994 Roger Corman Fantastic Four movie. Ironically he's a Christian too.

w'ever Happun'd 2... PBCProductions

If you wanna see previous installments:

Futuramaooy/Mega-Rhys: https://channelevensreviews.blogspot.com/2020/10/wever-hapun-2-futuramaooy.html

ShadowBlazeX8: https://channelevensreviews.blogspot.com/2020/10/wever-hapun-2-shadowblazex8.html

FoxtrotDeltaLima497: https://www.deviantart.com/channeleven/journal/W-ever-Happun-2-FoxtrotDeltaLima497-872745843

YoshiLove5000: https://www.deviantart.com/channeleven/journal/W-ever-Hapun-2-YoshiLove5000-YouTube-retrospect-860602482

Pativee: https://www.deviantart.com/channeleven/journal/W-ever-Happun-2-PatiVee-861498951

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In the realm of video game- you know what? Screw formalities, welcome to a 2007 crash-course. Soulja Boy told them stuff, YouTube was within its second major year, Cartoon Network was still forgettable, we had three blissful years before School Gyrls came out, but the same year of another Nickelodeon movie I saw back then that I'd like to see again. The Verizon Wireless Juke hit the scene (which I actually owned, burned some Now That's What I Call Music CDs and the Simpsons soundtrack on there along with whatever default songs were already on the computer.)

Back on YouTube Angry Video Game fever persisted (also around that time Angry Nintendo Nerd rebranded to Angry Video Game Nerd), some of the earliest video game reviewers reared their heads into the right, Armake21, Irate Gamer, NC17Productions, SpoonyOne, PlayItBogart... I dunno, Stan Burdman? Also this guy with glasses came out and would indirectly ruin review culture as we know it.

It seems everyone wanted to try their hand at angry reviews, leading to backlash that persisted for many years, I question James Rolfe and boundaries on more extreme fans, one of them was even a stalker. But, let's keep things to 2007 and focus on one of the earliest collaborators with the AVGN, PBC Productions, or Brett Vanderbrook.

PBC Productions was established in late 2006, though its more notable content wouldn't come until the start of 2007. Brett made gaming content, but what set him apart from others is that video games were merely part of a bigger series. What if Captain N and Full House- okay you get the idea. The New Adventures of Captain S. You can tell the influences mentioned before through the name and the font used for the casting call.

This isn't so much about the content he produced, but I'd like to establish who this guy is and what he was known for. Unlike the Angry Video Game Nerd and a number of other contemporaries, Captain S was more of a serialized series with a lighthearted tone. If you complain about anything obvious in this, you're probably desperate to act like you're smarter than you actually are.

Few game reviewers from this era have incorporated more plot heavy elements, the only one who ever did was Irate Gamer, which ironically marked a distinction between him and AVGN, sorely ignored, but given that PBC was able to handle more ambitious effects, it's understandable why people were harder on Chris. Anyone else involved happened to either be close friends or were hired by the channel, I'll get to the drop off in a while, but for now I'd like to talk about an important point in PBC's history.

Angry Nerd and others

In the early days of AVGN, PBC Productions was one of the first major channels to collaborate with him, and boy was it a match made in heaven, gaming related channels run by filmmakers or those with experience in video production, not to mention James is from New Jersey while Brett is from Astoria.

James made a guest appearance in a non-canon (as it's proudly displayed) Christmas special, while both would team up to make a video pinpointing landmarks related to the film Ghostbusters.... then that was about it. PBC would also assist in the production of another program which would get promoted by ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.

To sum up, PBC was involved with two of the biggest creators at the time, a position that many had only ever dreamed about. Things can only go up for Brett, but....

W'ver happun?

Around 2012, the channel hit a stand-still and has become dormant. The company remained active on Twitter, with their latest post being about the AVGN episode involving Maculay Culkin in 2018. They still occasionally post on Facebook, but are no longer involved in production on anything.

These days PBC are trying to keep the memory of Captain S alive, hey kinda like what I'm doing now. Captain S is now over a decade old, it's as retro as one could get, and we're now in an era where YouTube videos can be viewed in a nostalgic light. I imagine it brought joy to some people, maybe.

I guess things happened that were out of Brett's control, or he wanted to focus on his personal life. At least he didn't threaten to go all Virgina Tech like some earlier game reviewer did.

And just like that, this ends with no fanfare. It's over, goodbye. Go.

Episode Review: Sammy Double Feature

 Sammy once stood as the most infamous piece of lost media, well, among them anyhow. It wasn't because the show was bad, but because it was a contemporary piece of media that for many years left with little of a trace. No home recordings, no commercials, not airing on every NBC affiliate, it was on for about a week before disappearing afterwards.

It seems the show was doomed from the start, as this had aired around the point NBC opted to give up on animated sitcoms following the death of God, The Devil and Bob due to protests, and low ratings. Sammy would only air to appease contactual obligations and once the quota was met, it was over and done with. It sucks, especially since NBC actually managed to make some decent animated sitcoms, Father of the Pride doesn't count.

I did a review of the show back when one episode surfaced, and I felt like an idiot for not waiting a little longer. Since then, of the episodes currently made available, the two episodes that made it to air were uploaded, Denver and Sammy Makes Amends. These episodes were the third and sixth episodes respectively. A pilot was made but was bumped to the third spot.

Refresher

Before I get into the episodes, let me give you a crash course on what to expect. Sammy centers on movie star James Blake, played by David Spade, who has a run-in with his deadbeat father Sammy, also played by David Spade, who decides to move in with James to reconnect with him and his brothers, the dumb as dirt but obviously well meaning Todd and the scornful accountant Gary.

Conflicts center on James trying to work around ideas headlined by his agent Mark Jacobs, he has the hots for the assistant Kathy, otherwise Sammy just plays along into whatever else may occur. Gary hates Sammy with a passion, but he's well within his right to do so, given he was neglected and marginalized. At the very least episodes focusing on him end well enough.

And that's fine and dandy, there's a nice balance between people getting the short end but a happy enough conclusion. Hell, at times Sammy isn't the pusher of the worst in a situation, so it makes it easier to like the guy. The show was animated at Adelaide Productions and designed by Duckman creator Everett Peck. Actors present are signed to agent Brad Grey, who also produced the show.

Tonally, think Daria with a cynical edge and combine it with the conventions of sitcoms from the time, there you go. Humor in the form of good dialog and the occasional sight gag, but they do pretty well with surrealistic nightmare scenes.

But let's go back. You're watching NBC in the year 2000, you see this new David Spade comedy, what could those two episodes offer, and will they inspire confidence?

Denver

First of the two episodes to air, the cards have already been in place. If you started here you'd have little idea to the full context behind everything, but at least all that's missing is how everyone came to the place.

The episode centers on James'... and Gary and Todd's mom Marie learning that Sammy is currently living in James' mansion, well technically the guest house within the acres of the mansion. She travels to L.A. with her new husband Steve to intervene, but wind up staying awhile, with Sammy trying to slide his way out of a potential beatdown with the more heavyset Steve.

Around the time James and Steve are both out for a Hollywood tour, Steve throws his back out and Sammy works on trying to woo back Marie. She falls into this web fairly easily, granted, but it goes to show why she fell for him in the first place. Young girls tend to latch onto more taboo things, and persist with the belief that things aren't as bad as they are. If you don't believe me, Marie only went to Sammy because he has a dune buggy.

James tries to prevent the two from getting back together for the sake of history not repeating itself, and it takes Sammy interacting with a blonde bombshell he was set to date to trigger some good ol' memories for Marie. What seems like the obvious way to go is saved by a lack of dramatics.

Steve is also not particularly fond of Gary, but at least we get an idea to why, him trying too hard to get close to Steve rubbed him the wrong way. That's not a double entendre, that's his own words at some point.

I do like this little b-plot where Mark and Kathy attempt to write an autobiography for James and the chemistry between Andy Dick and Maura Tierney (who played either one) really shows here. 

So that was the first episode, it's better seen than described. As our first introduction to the series, well it leaves much to be desired in terms of who we follow and the reason we should give a shit. But to be fair, that can be saved by the episode being entertaining enough, and yeah, it was okay, but okay doesn't cut it in the long run, especially if this is the first episode you see. Why this was made first is anyone's guess.

Sammy Makes Amends

If the first episode inspired confidence, here's the last one. Right off the bat, this is another example of a more universal issue the previous episode had. With the lack of proper order, we'd be in the dark of greater context and we had experienced so little of Sammy that anything that happens won't have as much weight to it. Especially if it involves a character trying to make a turnaround.

In this episode, following a near-death experience, Sammy opts to make up for years of neglecting his sons and his more lurid behavior. This episode strikes me as the most interesting because... somehow it feels familiar. During a nightmare scene where Sammy is taken away by satan effigies in an ambulance, I feel like I saw this before. I would've been four at that time, but I do have certain memories. Maybe I misconstrued it with a scene in a different show, but imagine if I saw this as a kid, wrote about it in the forums and it led to one of the biggest searches in internet history.

I mean it happened with Clockman.

Anyhow, the conflict here is that Sammy's attempts at being a better father, though he tries, prove to be more grating than his usual level of apathy. It's kinda been done, but anything to establish a natural conflict. They do the runaway note monologue, along with the obvious "That's right I heard you!" gag, but to be fair, I didn't expect a gag about the word "esquire.", nor that going out in style isn't another term for suicide, rather Tijuana.

The brothers get arrested due to the lack of Mexican insurance (or just corrupt cops.) They do this gag where the guard hoses them down and Todd exclaims fire at the third one. For the sake of expecting a different result after an obvious issue, that helps the joke land.

Sammy finds out they were incarcerated and actually works to help get them out through an egg eating context. Since I didn't hear the crunch I imagine they were cooked already so that levies the salmonella concerns. Sammy wins by the skin of his teeth, the kind of victory being established as possible since he took a previous egg eating challenge, but that was for tequila.

The fact he put his dune buggy at stake for the bet to free his sons, was willing to help in spite of what they said, possibly some other stuff helped to establish some likable traits for an otherwise dire character like Sammy. Not even the final joke in the episode ruined the moment.

Interestingly, the episode was co-written by Erik Wiese, who has done.... a lot of things really, but is perhaps better known for co-creating The Mighty B!, a show I am mixed on to this day.

Final Thoughts

Of the two episodes, Sammy Makes Amends is the better of them. It's easy for me to go back to either episode, but I feel this was one I went back to more of. NBC did pick some winners here, but it's understandable why contemporary reviewers weren't that kind to it. It's a slow burn, and I feel the episode order presented here prevents any time to really let anyone's feelings fully develop for it.

Looking at all of the episodes released thus far, the show is actually kinda decent. It stood out well enough from NBC's other programs at the time, it's rare to see the lead break off into two different characters, chemistry is lent well enough and everyone at least has the right amount of likability. I urge you all to watch the episodes in the order intended if you want both the full and proper experience.

As of this writing, we only have five episodes left until the full series is uploaded. I'd be skeptical given the poor track record of most finales, but shit finales typically only happen to action kids cartoons (Gravity Falls doesn't count, and Mabel helped to make things more interesting.) I doubt an episode... probably relating to Mark Jacobs' 40th... birthday? Production? Probably the former, could possibly be that heinous.

Also ironically, the eighth episode of the show was directed by the same guy who wrote for Gravity Falls, well their first season, but he also wrote for The Simpsons, The PJs, Mission Hill, King of the Hill and some forgettable sketch comedy show.

If this show doesn't end with heavily implied genocide, that'll be good enough for me.

What If... Powerpuff Girls

Powerpuff Girls' main leads are iffy to me. Even during the Craig McCracken era, there was something about them that felt condescending, like they have a borderline black and white outlook most of the time. That clown who was corrupted by black and white ink? Beat the shit out of because he harmed the girls. Princess Morbucks, okay by all means don't let her in, but I'll get into that in another section. Sedusa, I'm still trying to rub that memory out of my head. Sandman, god forbid someone does their job. 

The way they went about their heroics implies something bigger would've been at work, but given that Craig had always been about comedies (as far as mainline programs go), I feel like he was out of his element most of the time.

Like with Teen Titans, I feel there were some missed opportunities. So...

What if

For Powerpuff Girls, when you get right down to it, it feels like they're setting up a big twist where the girls would slowly turn into villains, given their maturity and moral compass. It would help establish a moral grey between heroism and ego and leave people questioning how far apart they are from more contemporary villains. Heck, keep things neutral and let the viewer think for themselves.

Princess Morbucks didn't have to become a Powerpuff Girl, but this would've been a good opportunity to try some character development. After some time of being a villain, she'd blank off the map and resurface as a vigilante. Or perhaps something bad happens to one of the girls and Morbucks is reluctantly brought aboard due to her power matching those of the girls, where she would gradually understand the reason for prior objection and would gradually become more noble. 

Point is, it was a pretty big, pretty obvious opportunity.

How about an idea involving Sedusa's hair, where the cut shreds would have possessive tendencies and were the reason for Sedusa being evil in the first place (if staring into her eyes doesn't turn people into stone, cut out the Medusa allegory), they would take over Miss Bellum (perhaps as vengeance for the haircut situation) and make her evil, and thus the Mayor would get some development as he would take his position more seriously.

How much have the Amoeba Boys been established? I may've missed something, but why have them be amoebas? I'm thinking they'd be better off as ghosts, forced to walk amongst the living until they could establish themselves as true villains. It's a stretch... real big stretch.

Anything else would lead to exploring mental issues that would put the show in an area it's not aiming for.

But here's a bigger twist... make Blossom an antagonist.

There is good chemistry between the girls no doubt, but it feels as though Blossom is the most likely to crack at some point, with how seriously she takes her work. Over time she becomes more and more aggressive in fighting crime and winds up crossing a line she shouldn't have. This winds up turning the town against her, distraught that Townsville is siding with villains over a situation she thought she was in the right on causes her to run away, then resurface as a villain of her own, intent on taking down Townsville and the Townsvillains.

I also feel there was a better way to go about Bubblevicious, where Bubbles fights better when she's in a playful mood. She gets sloppier when she's angry and her frustration builds on people who consider her weak. It is when she comes to terms with whom she truly is that she reaches her peak in crime fighting.

There could've also been an episode where Blossom gets disillusioned when a female she idolizes turns out to be a hack and she loses her morale to fight crime, perhaps include a tender moment between her and Buttercup.

An inverse to that would be where Blossom idolizes a female who causes her to pick up bad habits, unaware that it's a villain manipulating her.

It's a bunch of thoughts...

LTA: The Root of the Adult Animation Situation

 I used to be a big fan of adult animation as a kid. We all know the classics that have stood the test of time, and hell, I even liked some of the more recent ones (well, as recent as 2013). I guess my reason, ironically like many others, is that they were a break from what we knew from cartoons aimed at younger viewers.

I won't go into how kids animation is more mature than adult animation these days (the shows are more mature, but a majority of the fans sure aren't.), but I'm here to address a recurring pattern with many of them. It seems many new adult cartoons are practically bleeding together, distinctions coming through the worst possible means, but there is one factor that unifies them.

They're rarely that funny.

The most different show we have in this regard is Q-Force, but that's no compliment. It's only a slight notch above Queer Duck in terms of how it goes about LGBT pride. I'm not saying the older era adult cartoons were that much better, I think the team behind Drawn Together made much better shows afterwards; DJ and the Fro at least fit the era it came out in, and reactions are still a thing, and Golan the Insatiable is actually quite underrated, the chemistry between the main leads is good, characters are funny, I mean I guess I'm just numb to the edgy humor but given it aired on Fox, it helped break the monotony a bit.

Okay off that tangent, there is a reason and it seems to stem from two things, one is that people just don't know how to appeal to adults these days (lest Family Guy maintains strong influence), especially since everyone is so fine-tuned to political issues. The other, going back to the visuals is that the producers seek out the same two studios to make these shows a lot of the time.

Bento Box Entertainment and Titmouse, Inc.

Now, this should go without saying, but I don't wish any ill will toward these studios, they're just trying to make a living, but they're unfortunately in the crosshairs of a grander issue. These are the two most prevalent studios in the adult animation industry, Powerhouse Animation is a growing studio, but may be a contributing factor to how saturated the action cartoon scene truly is. 6 Point Harness used to be in the running as far back as 2006 but after MTV parted ways with them they stuck to smaller ventures and Adult Swim cartoons, ironically taking over Lazor Wulf from Bento Box later on.

But onto the studios that count.

Titmouse, Inc. are capable of good quality shows, they helped produce Megas XLR, Metalocalypse, China, Illinois, some other things I may not be aware of. However at some point, without the means of outsourcing and having stuck to more niche programs, their transition to more mainstream content led to some mixed results.

Titmouse's worsts at this point are Big Mouth, Q-Force and Chicago Party Aunt. You can tell it's a Titmouse show if the characters have more geometric, often shiny looks, or whatever better way to describe it. Also at times the animation is more stilted with only enough fluidity to get it out of Family Guy territory. Exceptions apply to collaborations with DreamWorks Animation.

Sad thing is is that Big Mouth can be seen as the better of the three in terms of a unique premise and pissing off the right people. Given the reputations these shows have, it seems Titmouse are trying to keep with their peak at Adult Swim and are cranking out more edgy shows. Titmouse is like that star quarterback in high school who wound up becoming a deadbeat loser who somehow manages to have a better than average job, but can't help missing the old times.

They haven't done much else of note beyond those three these days (and by of note I mean worthy of citation), this is just to encourage awareness, as the company is already in the red zone nowadays and may become much worse.

Appetizer Done, now for the Main

Bento Box Entertainment is the bigger issue of the two, and a contributing factor to why adult animation had become so homogenized. You notice how a lot of the newer adult animated programs are co-produced by 20th Century Fox Television? Bento Box is a subsidiary of it (sorta like programs produced by Adelaide Productions being attributed to their owners Sony), and since Fox (production company, not the network which was spun off apparently) owns Bento Box, they're essentially a Disney company... we're gonna have a problem.

When it comes to Disney, programs like these are hardly an expense to them, anything to fill airtime, and since 20th Century Fox is essentially a third-party producer, they can produce for any kind of network they choose, at the very least networks that are interested in airing adult cartoons. Since networks have a basic animation studio at their disposal, you know the rest.

If you don't know what I mean, Bento Box brought us such classics as Brickleberry, Paradise P.D. (depending on who you ask), Bordertown, The Prince, Hoops, Allen Gregory, is it sinking in yet? They produced some of the worst adult cartoons according to the animation community, and will continue to contribute to a landscape that is becoming more and more barren.

But yes, Bento Box did produce some good shows. They produced Bob Burgers and its illegitimate offspring Central Park and The Great North, Duncanville (depending on who you ask), Alien News Desk seems like it's good (literally the only other animated SyFy show I know about is Magical Girl Friendship Squad), Out There is an underrated series, and I even liked Neighbors from Hell, their very first production.

They do make good shows, but given their prevalence and the fact they are a sub studio owned by what is now a sub-company of a major company, along with how little thought goes into these kinds of shows, here's your reason why adult animation wasn't as good as it was back then, and it may only get worse.

Either that or I've seen it all, it is the reason why I'm turning away from the action genre.

LW+TA: Deadly Invasion: The Killer Bee Nightmare

 I was gonna do a review of The Ripping Friends, but I think a reason people don't talk about it is because they don't know how to talk about it. It has most of the worst of John K.'s trademarks, but somehow isn't as offensive to the senses as his other stuff, and weird thing is, I kinda like it. Think of it like the Games era of Ren and Stimpy, if John K. were Bob Camp. My hands are tied, guess I'll try focusing on another Fox property.

It's Tuesday night, you're either fending off the ghosts of fry-cooks with spatula hands, or you're in your living room, bowl of popcorn or whatever 90s snack on standby, watching Fox. Remember Fox Tuesday Night Movies? I wasn't born for it and I wouldn't know of Fox until time after.

I have actually seen movies from that point on Lifetime, such as Terror in the Family which had an early role from Hillary Swank if you could believe it, as well as one of two movies released related to the Menendez Brothers, the other on CBS. I think The Critic was trying to mock this but gave up halfway through for some shameless self-depreciation.

But anyhow, a thriller movie detailing a non-human threat, on October no less, the timing couldn't be better.

Tonight's Flick

Okay right off the bat, with a name calling attention to killer insects it'll either be played for laughs or cheesy enough to inspire some enjoyment. Killer bees are as the name implies, granted, but on their own, I imagine they wanted an action horror flick but had to deal with a budget that was lower than normal.

The film was helmed by Rockne S. O'Bannon. While he had kept to television, previously working as a story editor on the first revival of The Twilight Zone, he had also written for the cult film Alien Nation and directed the 1990 film Fear, which it seems some people like, at worst considering it disjointed. This was his only other directing role, and back then and through to this day he had stuck to writing ever since.

I wouldn't call this a career killer, O'Bannon had plenty of television gigs since then and his last movie was five years prior before this. Hell, a majority of the known actors here had plenty of other roles since then, well save for the daughter of one of the producers, but maybe she wasn't interested.

The film was produced by prominent producer duo Frank Von Zerneck and Robert Sertner. If you watched Lifetime or any of the major networks back in the 90s you'd have probably seen something of their's. While television films aren't fine art, they are at least enjoyable for whatever reason. While sticking to thrillers, disaster films and the like weren't a card out of their deck, I believe they once produced an earthquake disaster film with a recurring pattern of reviews; it was better than some theatrical film with a similar premise but people questioned the ethics of its being.

So, this movie will probably be cheesy, over the top and stupid at times, but I've come to expect that at this point. At the very least I hope a movie about evil bees won't be as dull as Night of the Twisters, full disclosure, somehow the cheap effects didn't make me laugh, rather it made me bored.

This editorial has been formatted to fit your screen

We start with a narrative spiel detailing the introduction of killer bees in America. On one hand, it's actually accurate, killer bees were transported from Africa to Brazil in the 1950s, got loose, multiplied through breeding and spread gradually to North America, with a continuous one actually being plausible in real life. On the other hand, they're playing a story about killer bees straight. More power to them, but come on, that's too big of a risk.

Arachnophobia? Played for both scares and laughs, something I discovered a bit too late but whatever. Eight Legged Freaks? A homage to drive-in B movies with some obvious comedy. Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo? Okay this is probably a successor to that, but it seems that movie didn't take it as seriously, the opening theme was certainly happy enough about it.

I guess it would've been too much to ask to have the bees be introduced to radiation, but we would've either gotten cheap practical effects or a CG monstrosity that people would obsess over. I mean then again radiation making bees mad seems over the top, so they were just going for what they thought made the most sense.

They place importance on Texas and California, maybe due to their proximity toward Mexico which is within proximity of South America? In spite of their highlights and the film taking place in either, this movie was actually shot in north central Utah. This was the case for a majority of Fox's TV movies or at the very least Von Zerneck-Sertner movies. Not that I'm complaining, it's about time I see something beyond New York.

We start off 30 miles north of the Mexican border, so Calipatria then? It's funny I brought up Night of the Twisters because the first sign of human interaction here is a guy driving a car, talking on a CB radio. One thing I like about the cop is how little seriously he takes the job, or just cracks jokes. Hope no one got to attached to him there, because we need to demonstrate the extent of the threat.

I like how he isn't phased by the corpses inside, and I like how they don't frame the reveal as a jump scare. I also like how the reveal of the bees isn't some dramatic build-up. I respect any bad movie for not taking itself more serious than it needs to.

Let's get this out of the way, does this mean everyone is allergic to bees? One plus for this movie is that they specify the bees are killer bees. While not harmful as one, they attack in swarms and multiple hits tend to spell death. They manage to display that pretty well, though I question how long it takes to die from killer bee stings. It's something I'm not well-versed in, so... okay moving on.

We get some pretty nice scenery during the opening credits. I can forgive the shaky zooming, as this may be to represent the bees' perspective. I get the idea so I can't be too harsh on it, and my Calipatria comment may hold water since this takes place in a fictional California town.

After that we meet our main characters, and I'm not kidding when I say their names. We have a couple who's names are... Chad and Karen. This is coincidental by the way. I have an aunt named Karen and she's nice. How in the ground is the name Chad?

Anyhow, we start off mundane enough, the family is enjoying some breakfast, we get a neat gag where Chad and Karen find themselves talking to the wrong people on the phone, it caught me off-guard I'll admit. Another piece of subversion is when the teenage daughter is listening to a book on tape and not a rock and roll tape. Not to mention it looks like the son is going off on a motorcycle ride with his best friend, don't ask don't tell. But we come to our first cliche, them having moved to a new neighborhood and this taking a toll on the youngest daughter. I guess we can never be without at least one.

So far the dialog is what's keeping me interested, you can never guess what way one would describe something. When we see a crawlspace, does the term "mutant gophers" pop into your head? It seems like this is foreshadowing for something (the climax in Arachnophobia is wrought with the term wine cellar, but for now we get into the old favorite, mundane stuff before the action happens.

When going into implying the threat, at the very least they don't treat killer bees like a foreign threat, Chad just questions them being in the area. We hear about a wedding, and if nothing happens there, then this movie's a bust. I guess this is just to establish characters we need to care about, standard stuff. I've seen it enough times to not stress over it.

The youngest girl, Lucy, gets a pet bunny. I mean to be fair she's not a spoiled brat and was feeling sad about the move, this ain't a Cinar-scenario. However as someone who watched the first episode of The Outer Limits... don't get too attached to the pet.

I like how they reinforce that killer bees are't cold blooded killers, just more aggressive fighters. They build on more realistic stuff, though to be fair the over the top reactions put them in lower numbers, like the average crazy main trope.

But look, we have two dumbass teenagers on the road, are that about to sign their death warrants? It looks like the elder daughter dodged a bullet. The girl takes her top off, no further comment to avoid raising flags, and they're bound to face karma for causing a trucker to nearly crash. They do one clever thing, where as the two make out, they accidentially hit the horn, hence letting some nearby bees know something was up. They can nest anywhere they can't be bothered. Aside from some random cuts, I like how they don't just have them immediately freak out or notice due to where they prioritize their attention. I mean you can rarely feel a bug crawling on you.

I do gotta ask, why not run instead of driving and running the risk of a more fatal accident? You're basically asking to die at this point. I like how nonchalant they are about getting stung, but then again it beats being all over the top. They actually had build up with that truck stunt, where they get hit by a truck. Would've been interesting if it were the same truck, like he got really pissed off he nearly got killed.

It seems they recruited a professional bee-keeper here, we not only got a shit-ton of bees, but they are well tamed. No laughable CG tornadoes here. Hell, one plus to bees being here is that depending on the amount of stings, death wouldn't be immediate. They were still conscious before the truck hit them so it's easy to see why the father of whoever's mad about that. Also apparently Chad's a lawyer, maybe.

Unfortunately, they frame the bees as the culprit here for the sake of establishing the titular threat. The bees would've killed them time after the truck got them. I mean then again if you apply the fact they were driving to somehow get away from the bees then it'd make more sense. This is looking like an accidental death, all things considered.

Only thing interesting about the dead boy is that he was actually not a typical asshole, he let one of the lesser students talk to him and vice versa. Good subversion vs. bad subversion in, say, Revelations. They balance out the more stupid stuff with some appropriate reactions. I guess if you never give much thought to the more mundane areas of attack, you tend to slack on common sense. They claim soapy water is enough to sedate bees, while using it to get rid of a nest, so they have their facts down for now, especially for why people are reluctant to get rid of bees due to their requirements for pollination, as well as the fact that killer bees breed with normal ones.

They befriend another crazy who gets more exposure, but hey, I'm a sucker for more animated characters, especially one who pours honey on a burger. Of course we got the skeptic town official or whoever, but I feel they thought less of Jaws and more that crappy sequel to The Birds that came out a year before that no one talks about.

Funnily enough the most common thing I'm seeing here is facts about bees, but ironically it's not boring, at least to me. Maybe it's the fact they're poising something mundane as a big threat while keeping it relatively realistic, against something like Night of the Twisters where they make something more action-oriented boring as hell. This does get very repetitive though, don't get me wrong.

We get to that marriage, and thanks to a promo appearing at the start of the copy I found, things will get interesting again. The bees are already there and though attention is given to them, it's not as dramatic as you think. I like how the bees are chill enough to let the marriage go through uninterrupted. Then again they foreshadow the presence of the bees (though to be fair it could just be the normal non killer bees), and I like how Chad's worries with them is that they focused more on the flowers than the food quality, and it turns out he likes the first thing offered to him.

One fact that's implied rather than stated point blank is the bees reacting to loud noises. So far the wedding theme was somber and people were quiet enough, only for the disturbance to come with amplifier interference. That's some nice attention to detail. Interesting fact, one of the user reviewers of this movie happened to be in this. He is one of the guitar players in this, and he offered one of the nicer reviews. It's hard to be harsh to a movie you were in because you probably had a nice experience with it.

Needless to say, the wedding build up was worth it. I like how we get some over the top reactions from some grown men upon seeing the bees, maybe they're allergic. I mean then again we see the swarm or get an implication of one. Also I found out who Frank Von Zerneck's daughter plays. It's a bride to be, and to be fair she does an okay job.

They take refuge in a building, and referring back to my remark on The Birds, this makes it all the more clear this movie is going for a similar twist. Bees seem more plausible than birds as a threat, to be fair. I mean this movie has to be better than The Birds sequel, at least technically.  I mean this has no jump scares, most I got there were brief cuts to commercial breaks.

There was one thing that did make me jump in the movie, bee merchandise. Well, kids wearing head boppers themed around bees. I get that bees are a theme to the town, they have at least one school team with a bee themed mascot, along with the various bee farms.

Also, if you wanted proof this was shot in Utah, they have a news van listing call-signs for a Fox affiliate based there.

Anyway, news interviews, either I'm numb to it or this isn't as stupid as people would lead you to believe. The crazy bee man returns, this could be to fulfill another cliche, but, heh, I've seen School Gyrls. People are cracking down on avoiding future stings, and given their commonality and the ethics of killing bees in general, I guess this is the way to go, in terms of keeping things going.

At this point, little else happens. It's not getting boring, but I'd just be restating the same things again, just them preparing for the onslaught. Eight more minutes and I'll get further with this than I did with Night of the Twisters. Karen seems nervous about the bee situation, I'd say appropriately so but that should be taken with a grain of salt.

We get a nostalgic throwback with a fake news report pinning a reporter against a plain background, along with the boxed image relevant to the story clipping over the reporter's shoulder. But who cares about that? We also get amateur footage that looks like it was taken on 16mm which is somehow transferred to digital. Video cameras are the norm for personal excursion, and the crosshair you see only appears through the eye lens.

It's a nitpick, but how can I be mad about that? I can't even be mad about hearing the information I heard about bees again; a reminder, we first heard it from a guy during a conversation with the leads, and this is being repeated by a reporter to spread awareness through town. It's repetitive, but I guess it's appropriate, all things considered. One girl tries to break the fourth wall by bringing up the repetition... so there's that.

By the way, Karen's concerns were expected, but if you wanna shake things up, pretend that the kids will get in the way of libido.

The wine cellar tidbit worked in this movie's favor, as Chad agrees to plan it out. Apparently they run an orchard. We don't need any suspense beyond the sounds of the bees buzzing, though why would you stick your head out the window with bees in plain view? Is this another fourth wall break where he knows he can't die because he's a main character? Okay then again since they didn't make much of a noice they'd have no reason to attack Chad as a threat.

We're 46 minutes into this, and at this point I'm expecting a crazy climax. The son's friend is adorned with a rifle, I mean I can't be dumbfounded if I can tell this would happen. It's less dumb than the son was for questioning its purpose. At least Chad made it back home okay, so they avoided the whole car getting stuck then one guy going for help gets killed spiel.

But back to the rifle, if they shoot the bees it's stupid on principle. If they shoot the hives, it's stupid for the sake of getting the climax going. The friend, mad over the popular kids dying, shoots the hives, do the math. At this point only three people died, though to be fair an onslaught of stings would've killed people, especially if they were allergic. It's ballsy they made it this far with a low death count. And what do you know, both boys made it back to the house.

Okay, so they're all in the house, ballpark estimate we have 37 minutes left of runtime, end credits included, I'm kinda tempted to see what they do next. I'd say the most sensible reason for the bees to get in would be the crawlspace, or that's just the key to victory and shock of all shocks... they come in from reasonable entry ways, cracks at the bottoms of the doors, through the chimney, only acting because some jackass shot their hives hence seeing them as a threat...

Most stupid thing I've seen so far is bees interfering with phone lines, though if they can bust into... insert mechanism name here, they could do some damage, best case. Ironically, it is through phone lines that bees get damaged. They do give a good explanation for how bees can wind up in a dryer; it's those vents outside. I like how they addressed this, as if someone was gonna throw a tantrum for views.

I question their lack of total fear on the situation, but then again it beats over the top reactions, and there's the matter of whether or not anyone's allergic, and come on, who wants to get stung? I've been stung before, it's not a pleasant experience. Maybe it's as if they know this is a blase experience in real life and are just trying to keep cooler heads.

Also uh... rip the pet bunny. I knew this would happen, I just didn't know when....

Actually it's alive. No seriously, the bunny is shown to be alive on the couch. The cage being in the sun room was used as an excuse to get the young girl to go inside and get stung. I'd be mad about the contrivance, but I gotta give them props for subverting my expectations. As a bonus the girl lives too, but we still got the rest of the movie.

In the meantime, somebody ratted about the cause of all this and the father decides to rule out escape points, but that goes south... and he runs back inside. But now there's a reason to go back out, as the young daughter's allergic to bees and needs to be treated.

If the girl dies, it'd be kinda heartless she'd be among the rare casualties of the movie. If the lead dies... that'd be kinda clever for the sake of rubbing out a protagonist, but I hope he doesn't. Oh but they gotta go out, what's the logical thing to do? Go out with thick clothing to ensure the stingers don't land deep enough to cause damage. I guess the worst thing against this was inconsistency in earlier scenes, possibly here too. You know what? That's fine. It's one thing to take a stupid premise seriously, it's another to tackle on an over the top yet realistic premise seriously.

It's not that it doesn't make any sense, it's that it makes too much sense. The son goes to find a thicker jacket in the attic, before one says this is a stupid idea, there are vents that lead to the attic, like the one they came through just now. At least the son was quick enough and shut the door... I mean I'm sure he did, he came down calm enough and had the insight to close off entry ways.

It's approximately 25 minutes until the end of the movie, if you question why the bees are attacking Chad when they should be after the one who shot the nests, you're an idiot. They attack anything in their vicinity if they're agitated enough, especially against those who threaten their way of being. At the very least with the daughter in danger, there's a reason for conflict.

Chad's a real Chad for trying to drive a car full of bees. If he made it to the car in the first place, the cover up he had was definitely good enough to protect him. The son uses a soap and water gun to keep the bees at bay, this was established to be harmful to bees and hiving zones so fair game, and Chad is able to get his car started. He won't get far on foot, and at least it wasn't for nothing.

Things do get stupid at this point. I gotta ask, why was the friend just standing around like a dumbass when the son asked for more slack on the hose? Also, how can a door lock from the inside? A bedroom door that has the lock on the inside, and the door opens inward so the block at the bottom couldn't do much. And why would Chad remove his protection... outside!? I said I don't wanna get angry over stupid stuff, but various stupid moments one minute after another is a different pond altogether, everything else had been straightforward up to this point. There's raising the stakes naturally, then artificially.

Chad returns and uses a fire extinguisher to fend off the bees. For the most part I've been googling most of the more out there aspects of this movie to make sure this made sense. Funnily enough, there's actually a Quora post that addresses this. According to the top answer, the fire extinguisher may only aggravate the bees more or using it will just be time wasted, this applying to CO2 variants, which seems to be the one Chad uses.

Chad gives the girl multiple injections, and... according to healthline, if it's melatonin they're using, too much of it can disrupt sleep-wake cycles and make them prone to seizures, so... I think an allergic reaction would be the least of her problems! Okay but she is stabilized at the very least.

Also I'm assuming the son is dead now, the friend is certainly sad enough about it, or maybe it was because he's a reason they're in this mess. Actually it's just out of fear. I'd say he'd take that tidbit of his involvement to the grave, but it got out to at least one family member.

Okay either this'll be a big reveal or a surprise twist and the son is *drumroll here*

Actually still alive. How is this possible? He hid inside a full bathtub and breathed through a straw. I'd have assumed the bees got into the bathroom and there'd be a small window of time for him to fill it up, but you know what? I'll accept this. It would've been fucked up to let the son die in agony and they wouldn't find out until it was too late. This was technically the most plausible thing he could've done to avoid death. Water is heavier than air, so it can trap the bees if they aren't close to solid ground. It certainly made more sense than the other stuff.

So everyone in the house survives for now. They take refuge in the cellar, and now a question arises. What role with the crawlspace play here? Well it wasn't an entry way for the bees as they crawled in from the floorboards above. Yes, it's the way out. Fair enough, I had a feeling it would be. This was definitely a play on The Birds but all we need is fire and then we'll get a touch of Arachnophobia.

Okay so there's no fire, just suffocating the bees. I'm not sure if they're establishing a twist here, but we're in the final minutes, and it looks like Chad is gonna play noble sacrifice along with the friend. But first, here's something unintentionally hilarious. In certain points where commercial breaks play, we get the Fox Tuesday Night Movie bumper. At this point the bumper plays, and the bees are like "Duh!"

Also Chad goes for the sacrifice and sends the friend to the tunnel. He is a real Chad. So does this mean the entirety of the killer bees in this neck of the woods are in the house? I mean with how many there are I can assume. Also I have the feeling the bunny died off-screen, maybe. The family may get harmed and the father may die, but first, we gotta be reminded that this movie is brought to us by the Ford Escort, and that it's new.

This are both amping up and slowing to a crawl. There's like, what, five to six minutes left? I can't quit now. At least when I quit on Night of the Twisters I still had more of it to go and I wasn't interested in seeing the last.

It was a good thing I didn't quit here, because then I wouldn't learn of Chad's hidden superpowers. He somehow transported from the kitchen to the barn to save his family. The length of the crawlspace would imply the barn is some distance away, so to get there from the smoke filled kitchen which, how did... I need to take a break.

(one episode of The Ripping Friends later)

And they all lived happily ever after. No seriously, they all lived, even the bunny did, surprisingly. I imagine they're happy enough to have lived through that. Pretty ballsy, but then again this was probably meant for more ballsy families.

After a reminder this was just a movie, we get a dose of reality, detailing spreads in areas along the south. This isn't dramatized, this is real footage. Plus we get insight to the practical effects on the movie, as in the fact that we had a real bee keeper serve as a technical advisor, Norman Gary. Interestingly, Gary also worked on Candyman, fans of it can tell where.

I guess one would be a fool to claim otherwise to bees spreading, but to heck with it. They do say killer bees only act when provoked, and they were in the movie at the very least. I'd be going against an expert in the field, so I won't question the logistics he presents, I'd be a fool to. I will say I wasn't expecting a documentary-type ending, so go figure. He's the reason why the movie was so on the nose with most bee facts, I'm glad they were willing to go with an expert on this.

Gary leaves off with some indirect advice. Bees only fly a certain speed, and with the right motivation we can easily outrun them.

Then the credits roll and the tape gives up some time after, but you're not missing much, just panning through the fields and presumably ending with a final shot of the bees before the closing logos. I find it symbolic that the copy I got just shuts off by the end. That's how most movies break for me when I can't take it anymore.

Final Thoughts

Okay, so I expected this movie to be stupid the whole way through, and after watching it, I can conclude that it's... pretty straightforward. They built the scenario based on what made sense, they didn't go all over the top with it and there were points that I was genuinely surprised. However, close to the end things got a little stupid, for where they got things right, sometimes they got them wrong in equal measure.

People have been especially hard on this movie, and honestly... they're half right. Where it sucks it sucks, but where it goes right it goes right. I found myself making more Chad jokes than Karen jokes, and the Karen here didn't complain... at all really.

In terms of TV movies like this, you can do far worse. At least this didn't ride off a beloved movie like The Birds II did. If you go into a movie about killer bees and take it seriously, don't talk to me, don't get to know me, crawl back into that ivy league cave you came from and stick to the farts you smell daily.

Admittedly I was feeling a little worn out close to the end, but I powered through and I can safely say this was more interesting than Night of the Twisters. I have the strangest feeling I have seen this movie a long time ago, whether it was on YouTube or not, but, whatever. This has been on the chopping block for a while and I wanted to wait until my finals were completed, and here we are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch JaidenAnimations for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hjrng-s8EQ