Terror Tract review

Merry Christmas everyone. I'm happy to say I've got what I wanted for Christmas, and that's a charger for my laptop so I could get back into reviewing. I was hoping to get to this film before the likes of Phelous and the Cinema Snob, mainly for bragging rights. After finally finding a copy online, mainly to see the ending, I have all the material I need, ladies and gentlemen, Terror Tract.

Background

Terror Tract is an independent movie released in 2000. It shares two directors, the first, Lance W. Dressen's latest work was in 2010 and he stuck with independent films up to then. The latest for Clint Hutchinson was an editing gig for a wrestling documentary in 2013. While the film doesn't have any notable directors, the same can't be said for its roster of actors. The film primarily contains actors who're rooted in television.

What star power does this film have in this case? They got Buff Bagwell, a wrestler who acts on the side. They got Coop from MegasXLR, They got Wade Williams, one of the principal actors on Prison Break, not doing it for you? Well, they got John Ritter of all people as the headliner, and they got Bryan Cranston too. I'm not kidding, and I have no idea how they got those actors, then again they were probably hungry for work at the time, this was well before Walter White Bryan Cranston. The film was produced with an estimated budget of one million dollars and was filmed within 36 days, and as of now, it has a respectable 6.0 on IMDb.

Per company information, the film was produced by Giant Leap Entertainment and distributed by Tomorrow Film Corporation. The former seems to be a one-off studio, but there's actually plenty more on the latter. Tomorrow Film Corporation served as the principal distributor, though you won't see their credit on most prints. Interestingly, their website is still up, though it hasn't been updated since 2005. Lo and behold, there's a page on the film, which has little else that'll be made known beyond alternative titles to the segments.

Here's the page if you're curious: https://www.tomorrowfilms.com/features/terror.htm

Now right off the bat, I'm a sucker for anthologies, I love Tales from the Darkside, I do like most of the 80s Twilight Zone and I love the cheesy dialogue associated with it. How well does this movie pull off scares, how hard can it make you laugh? Well it's also classified as a black comedy so I guess they got me there. At least it'll be better than XX.

Plot

The film wastes no time displaying how far it'll go. In the beginning we get some survival of the fittest shit where a worm gets eaten by a bird, then the bird gets eaten by a cat and then the cat is chased onto the road where it's ran over and eaten by a dog, but thanks to the car belonging to our protagonists, I guess I can't call this some forced inclusion.

The framework of the film involves John Ritter attempting to sell a house to a couple. But, he is confounded by his need to be upfront about everything. Luckily, that's where the anthology element comes into play. We're given tales related to the houses they visit and the people who previously lived there. Not much happens until the end here, so for now I'll focus on the stories.

Nightmare (yes that's what it's called)

Louis, a businessman, leaves to attend a business trip. Sarah, his whore of a wife awaits the arrival of her sparing partner Frank. After some laughable soft-core nudity, we discover that Louis has not only lied about leaving, but is a bit of a psycho. He intends to kill Frank and frame Sarah for it while hanging her. The two overpower him with scissors of all things and after a fairly decent fake-out, finish him off with a shotgun blast to the back.

The two decide to dump the body in the lake, and while that does sound cliche and a bullet dodge for calling the police, they actually give a good explanation, it seems too suspicious and black widows exist. From there, Sarah has a number of nightmares where her husband comes back from the dead, and it culminates in Frank dealing with another issue, the fact that he failed to get rid of a telltale car. While setting out, we get a decent jump-scare, only for it to be ruined by Louis seemingly coming back to life. I say ruined because in a later scene, Sarah seemingly has another nightmare and shoots through the door, only to kill Frank.

Think about it, Sarah is driven by paranoia over her husband returning, and said paranoia drives her to kill someone who had a hand in getting the events going. Also a nice jump-scare. Doesn't that sound a bit better? Anyway, the police return and find Sarah has hung herself and it's implied that Louis was behind it. Okay...? I would prefer if guilt got her in the end but to each their own.

Though I can't fault the scare factor of Louis here.

I'll give it this, some dialogue in the beginning actually foreshadows the end pretty well. 9/10, still an A in my book.

Bobo

I'm just going to admit this, this movie struck a nerve with me. I have a dog and I don't get along well with it. It barks at me every time I enter the room and gives me a burdensome impression. This sorta ties into that.

In the meantime, hooray for Bryan Cranston.

This is the part where Bryan Cranston comes in, and he gives that signature charm Hal gives on Malcolm in the Middle, toned down a bit of course. Anyway, Ron, Cranston's character's bitch of a daughter discovers a monkey in a tree and demands she keeps it as a pet. In spite of his reluctance, Ron takes it in, where it immediately causes trouble.

For one, his daughter takes a bizarre fondness over it, and it all goes batshit from here. The monkey begins killing people, from the dog to an animal control guy to Ron's wife, all in elaborate ways. Ron can take anymore of it and comes out guns a blazing to kill the bastard, but when the gun winds up in his daughter's hands, we get a cutaway and a gunshot.

I know I glazed through the plot pretty quickly, but that's because I have a lot of issues with this story.  For one, this movie defeats the initiative to make up your own conclusions. We could've left the end a mystery, did she shoot Ron? Did she shoot the monkey? Nope, she shot the dad and was confined to an insane asylum.

But I'm not done yet, this could've easily been a good tale about jealousy and how Ron went crazy, killing people and pinning the blame on the monkey which could either be harmless or not real. Maybe the monkey business could've been made up as a coping mechanism or an excuse to defend her father because in the beginning, the two are close to the point of it being incestuous.

What I'm saying is, there were so many missed opportunities to make something provocative from this story. Or maybe they should've put some Peter Gabriel in the mix.

Come to Granny

At this point for me, there's nowhere for this movie to go but up, and quite frankly, they actually saved the best for last.

Sean Goodwin is a psychic teenager who visits a therapist over visions of a serial killer donning a grandmother mask killing people. Nice to see this movie going back to the basics of cheap slashers. Personally, I like the concept of the Granny killer, could've made for a decent 80s flick. Has the simplicity of Michael Myers, mixed with the hilarity of Freddy Krueger.

Anyway, these visions have harmed Sean's social life. When he has them, to some it looks like he's having a fit. This led to him losing his girlfriend, and by extension his friends since they're friends with her. Sean reveals that he came to her because she was going to be killed next. The therapist appropriately believes that Sean must be the killer and flees to the elevator as Sean staggers to her.

But...

While calling for the elevator and after a cliche waiting in vein for the doors to open, it turns out that the Granny Killer is present and that Sean was in fact trying to save her. Take a wild guess where this leads.

I like this segment, it had decent acting, a nice buildup, a good creepy atmosphere and a nice twist at the end. It's much better than the previous segment by far.

Come to Granny

Conclusion

Horrified by the tales, the couple turns down all three. This is especially bad to John Ritter who fails to meet a deadline and may lose his wife and son. Ritter breaks down and stabs the husband to death, and here's where things get awesome.

The wife fleas and happens upon the neighborhood who's enveloped in chaos. We have a man running a lawnmower over his cat, Bobo returning in a jumpscare, the batshit insane Ritter continuing to try and sell a house, a stabbed body in an inflatable pool, someone's wife shooting her husband (unless it's a reverse "Nightmare"), a dead body in a garbage bin as an old woman nonchalantly waves, a guy getting run over (which could be the drunk driver the IMDb trivia section was alluding to) and an explosion.

It's perfect in that it sums up how batshit the movie is, and I love it for that. Not to mention the film captures the batshit insanity of California. This was shot in Santa Clarita, which itself is part of Los Angeles, the crazier part of Southern California fyi.

Overall

This movie won't impress everyone. The film has numerous weak links, but I'll admit, it kept my interest long enough and it encouraged me to make my own conclusions. John Ritter pulls off the horror schtick pretty well and it's a shame that he was three years away from his eventual death.

I guess in a way, this film is an acquired taste. If you have a taste for batshit insanity and actors going out of their comfort zone slightly, or if you just hate Hollywood movies like I do and would gladly take anything with the slightest hint of independence with open arms, this could be a handy time waster.

Sonic Impressions

Basically I have no hope for it.

I gave up on Sonic a while back, sure I'll occasionally favorite some fan art here and there, but there's little reason for me to get back into the fandom (and no, I won't play Sonic Mania.), but anyway, a Sonic the Hedgehog movie has been announced. I recall it being announced as far back as 2016 or so, and I thought it was scrapped, but that's obviously not the case anymore. It's official, and it'll hit the screens in late-2019. So far we haven't got much beyond the casting choices and the new design... Yeah, you know where this is heading. This is going to be a live-action movie, so what does that mean for Sonic's overall design? A Roger Rabbit-esque movie where cartoon CGI is mixed with live action? Or will this be some Detective Pikachu level shit?

To answer your question, Nintendo doesn't do what SEGod Damnit does.



That is a legitimate poster posed on Paramount Pictures' Twitter. Not much has been revealed on the complete design, but this alone makes me heave. Little about the real Sonic is present in this picture, and given the approach Paramount's going with this, that statement might become more and more true as more information surfaces. I mean just look at the design, an overly-long body and those legs, those damn legs. The reason why I'm harping on what seems to be a singular design change is that one, it's not about eye color and two, it's not about the fact that blue fur is on his arms. It's a change that's actually awkward and hurts the overall look of the character. We have a cartoony character who's remodeled to look more realistic. It just doesn't work, goddamn those legs.

Another poster exists, and trust me, it makes things worse.



I have no regret harping on the legs. The more you look at them, the more weird they seem. It looks like they also changed Sonic's shoes, a design that's not only simple to recreate, but one of Sonic's more identifiable design aspects. He ditched those for some generic off-brand red sneakers. People may harp on the excessive bandages Boom Sonic had, but at least he didn't have laces on his shoes (think of it like this, it's now very easy to trip while running at the speed of sound.). Also, minor nitpick, but it looks like he's not even wearing socks. Again, the socks are a noticeable design aspect. There's no way Sonic could be comfortable running without socks on.

Also, gotta love the "Sonic Wuz Here" comment. Yeah, Sonic used to be here, but now he has become... whatever the hell the movie will do to him. To top it all off, it'll be yet another movie set in California, because California and New York are the only states that exist in major movies these days.

Kiriena Banjin riff

We've all gone through phases we're too uncomfortable to admit to. We have posts, comments, whatever that we made years ago and never got around to remove that are awkward, best case. When we join the internet in our late-teens or so, we always start with our phase in tow, so chances are you've been setting up a serious paper trail that would come back to haunt you if you weren't careful. And hell, sometimes you don't fully grow out of your phases. I guess it's better to just admit you had/have (worst case) a phase you're uncomfortable with, I'll admit that even I can't help but give into temptation sometimes. Beats the hell out of denying it like a pansy ass bitch in the hope that the problem would fix itself.

I'm starting off with this because I'm going to talk about someone who I've rammed heads with in the past. SHFan (SH for She Hulk). I'll just say this outright, I have interacted with him and, whether or not this is okay depends on your point of view, I contributed dialogue to a three-part series of pictures he posted (in the spirit of the old She-Hulk comics) and I helped him on a two-part story he wrote, the second part mainly. If you find it, bear in mind that I didn't write it that way, and I actually have proof. Here's the draft I wrote. The one you see on his profile is what he wrote: https://sta.sh/02gb3oj7f1nb (I was around 19 or so, still a bit wet behind the ears).

I'm mainly going to focus on a recent comic he made, mainly because this one has enough obvious flaws to make for a funny analysis. No deliberate harm is meant, Do not go onto his profile and harass him, I will not condone that shit.

Pre-Gaming

Obviously this comic centers on She-Hulk, but actually, it's just a fan rendition. The core of a woman turning into a hulk is kept, but he uses his own characters, and that's as much as I could say about them for reasons you'll soon see when we get into the comic. For now, what quality art will we be in for?

Anime, who'da thunk?

The comic uses a predominantly anime style. I'm critical of this art style, and I have mostly described my distaste for it in past entries, but when it comes to still-art, I think now I could offer a much better critique. In general, anime art is generally used as a go-to for any kind of style. Typically, most independent artists lack the initiative to make use of more traditional design, whereas anime is generally easy to work with so long as you find the right bases.

Traditional art tends to have a rougher look, whereas anime art tends to have a more geometric look, as long as you put lines in the right place, color in the proper areas and remove the rough outlines you wouldn't notice that. Basically, anime tends to be a substitution for coming up with a unique style, it's a common art style that tends to look simpler than traditional art, depending on what you apply it toward.

I'm going to get tarred over this, aren't I?

Now onto the comic.

"Within Rochdalem UK, there is a small quiet library on Whitewash Road."

Points for not setting the story in some place overused like New York City or Los Angeles. For the record, Rochdalem isn't technically a real place, unless he meant Rochdale. Also, Whitewash Road will ironically make a bit of sense once we get further into the story.

"This place is only run by one Librarian and is also the owner of the building. Doreen Olsen."

I don't get the mechanics behind web comics, and I don't want to come off as a dick, but proofreading can go a very long way.

"As Doreen starts off her day, she is happily putting away her books, however in a few short moments, that happiness will soon change as she will discover a sleeping beast that will soon be waken. That beast that she will later name... Kiriena Banjin."

Okay, I know full well this guy is primarily dedicated to art surrounding She Hulk, so points for not trying to build this up as something super major. However, this still gave away far too much. You could easily foreshadow without revealing too much. For example.

"As Doreen starts off her day, she is happily putting her books away however, her bliss will soon be cut short."

See? Sorta better. And in case you want to know what Kiriena Banjin means, based on a rough translation, it means "Beautiful Barbarian". Makes sense given how much this guy loves She Hulk.

"We interrupt our daily programing to bring you some breaking news! St. Vincent High School is under attack. Reports say that this maybe the work of Donald Trump (whoops lmao), the Nano Outbreak that happened in Japan almost two years ago. There are no reports of deaths, but police say there is high damage to the school and some students and staff has been injured. We will ckeep our viewers posted as we will."

First, note the obvious grammatical errors and misspellings. Second, minor nitpick, but if this is set in the UK, it's spelled "programme". Third, about this nano outbreak, has this always been big news? Sounds like more exposition for the sake of exposition. Fourth, for a newscast, it's certainly carried out in a poor fashion. If I may."

"Breaking news. St. Vincent High School is currently being attacked by an unknown creature. It's unknown who or what this creature is, but it's possible it has a connection to the ongoing nano outbreak. No casualties have been identified, but damages and injuries are coming in and spreading."

A little better? Lastly, you're probably wondering why I bolded High School. We'll get to that soon.

"Doreen instantly is overwhelmed by shock as she knows only one person that goes to that school. He is a student named John and he is a regular in her library. She is also secretly in love with him, which that love will start a trigger of events that would soon follow."

Yes, you saw that. We have a full grown woman crushing on a high schooler, bear in mind that the lowest the age of consent has ever been was 18. I could be wrong when it comes to the age of consent and how it applies to other countries, but I'd go out on a limb and say that the UK's standards on age of consent aren't as low as Japan's. I primarily bring this up because her age is actually brought up in another panel.

I could make a pedophilia joke, but those are as overdone as autism jokes.

Minor nitpick, but it seems like she wasn't as angry as she should be, pre-trigger scene.

Keep the "younger" part in mind.

All that happens in the dialogue boxes is details on the transformation. I'd make myself redundant if I talk about them, so I'll just hone in on the greater details. Such as the fact that she literally becomes younger when she transforms.

She must really love John, so deep down she wishes she could be younger because you know, age gap. But somehow this makes a lot less sense than someone being able to turn into a green muscular creature through DNA alteration that enhances one's cells and spreads through the body, reworking it entirely.

Also apparently, she doesn't have nipples.

There's obviously no dialogue here. If I were to be generous, I'd say this would be a good time to work in some inner monologue, where we get to hear her thoughts as she's on the crossroads between her human form and her developing new form. But no, let's just empathize on the damage her clothes are going through. Aging her backwards works against this quite frankly, if she's not 18, you'd be entering some seriously dangerous territory.

Then the next panel happens...

In one of the most hackneyed concepts ever, she gets a new outfit literally out of nowhere. Those nanos seem to be capable of anything, whether they're a bullet dodge for what's essentially another She-Hulk inspired story, or just elaborate tailors. This just feels kinda forced, like he knew people would call him out on the other stuff, if they ever found it.

But if I were to be generous, I could say that this is supposed to be a node to the 1980s Incredible Hulk cartoon. Basically, whenever the Hulk changes back, his outfit changes back with him. Same with She-Hulk. Kinda weird, but I guess they couldn't get away with unexplained wardrobe swaps, it's chuckle worthy. What SHFan does is like a Tumblrized censor bar, there's no way to look at it through a humorous perspective, it's as serious as it looks.

Say this aloud. "I became a Midori Banjin myself!" Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

Did someone ask for more exposition?

Basically the origin of the actual She-Hulk, set in japan because that's in style apparently. With an emphasis on Japan, you'd think Doreen would be Japanese as well, but no, she's a component of Whitewash-ing.

The above is also more exposition, for the sake of exposition. But, there're details I want to cover. Beyond the obvious (these blood cells mended with her own and now she has the same abilities) stuff, there's the fact that the donor happened to be an experienced medic. That sounds way too convenient, and the way it's just thrown out there makes it feel more useless than it already is.

Doreen makes due on her new abilities by watching the news, while others are getting attacked at that high school. Ordinarily, when you're aware of something and you're given the tools to do something about it you'd head over there, but no, not here. I guess Doreen doesn't love John that painfully.

Meanwhile, we get a look at John, he looks like a discount Speed Racer. Judith, up above hi, I immediately like better because even her face has more personality to it.

Now who're they up against?

What essentially amounts to Elliot Rodger if he lived in Scotland in 994 (points if you get the reference). Gotta love that name though, Nightmare Fuel would be a good name, had it not been put toward a creature marred by bland art design. Maybe this is just part of this guy's character, where he likes to build himself up as greater than what he already is, when it's obviously not true.

Gotta love how the girl dumps his ass because he's a monster. If she were a boy she'd probably be painted as a sex offender or she'd lose a TV deal.

But just before Mildly Unpleasant could potentially get some canned yams...

Here comes She-Hulk with a fancy name, complete with four boobs for some reason (yeah I know they're supposed to be hands and elbows, but get a load of that position, also that damn anime tropism.

We then conclude with the icing on borderline wish-fulfillment. Boobs. Since she's probably a little over twice his senior, to John I say... Run.

And that was Kiriena Banjin. I could conclude that this comic... is full of problems. To sum up.

• Bland art direction, namely due to something as easily exploitable as anime style.
• Minor edits that only barely mask the fact that this is a near-retelling of the origin of the real She-Hulk.
• The nanos feel like a contrived concept.
• Plus there's a 40 year old who loves a high-schooler.

I'll just say out right, I do like the concept of monsters in a school setting, but obviously this wasn't handled well. I have seen comics in the same vein, and they find their way either through objectively good artwork, good dialogue, a nice story or are just able to take the piss out of themselves.

This comic has a flat look, with bland colors and subpar perspectives, the dialogue is either exposition heavy or is dialogue for the sake of dialogue, the story, beyond the you know what, is just lackluster and seems to only exist to fulfill the title of your deviantART account. Plus there's the lack of self-aware humor.

I'm gonna confess, I did contribute dialogue to one of his works, but given that the dialogue he is capable of coming up with is... you know, I decided, fuck it, I wanted to see how better I would do. If you're daring to trace the comments to the picture they came from, this is the highest level of praise I got for contributing dialogue.

https://comments.deviantart.com/1/661299044/4321599585

I guess I channeled my inner John Byrne when I wrote the dialogue.

To sum up, I was into some weird shit when I was a teenager, and who knows when I'll ever leave it behind forever.

A Cosmic Christmas review

What better way to commemorate the start of the Christmas season than with a film that marked the start of a long journey for its studio.

Background

A Cosmic Christmas is one of the earliest offerings from the Canadian studio Nelvana Limited. While they first started with Small Star Cinema and Christmas Two Step, A Cosmic Christmas seems to have been the first film to make an impact. This marked the first of five holiday specials made by Nelvana (though personally, The Devil and Daniel Mouse is the better of the five)

The film doesn't hold a number of recognizable actors, unless you're from the area and/or the era, and, well, that's about it. Let's get into it.

Premise

Peter is a young boy who seems to be in the wrong place at the right time during the Christmas season. We have our typical bratty kids who expect plastic shit that they'll likely never touch again in a few months, whatever floats their boat. Peter has to deal with a quartet of bullies, Marvin the leader, fat boy, weasel-type boy and the girl. No they don't reveal the names of his goons.

Everything starts drearily, going as far as showing a man getting slighted for wanting donations to help the unfortunate. It all takes a turn when Peter supposedly sees a spaceship, and nobody believes him (then again the ship looks like a falling star, who would believe him at this point.) As this was a Christmas special from back in the day, and since Alberta was possibly still is a conservative Canadian area, where's the religious representation at?

Our plot device is a trio of aliens resembling the biblical magi, or if you want to be more specific, The Three Wise Men (the similarities are too clear to pass). The aliens are naive to the very concept of Christmas, even after Peter gives a straightforward summary (while going through the religious aspects), but it doesn't translate well to them. If it did, we wouldn't have a movie.

Peter attempts to show the three what Christmas is about through a tour of the town, but comes out empty due to people themselves not getting the true essence of Christmas. We also get foreshadowing to a brief conflict, where Marvin intends to steal Peter's goose Lucy. To eat. Think of the implications in between.

Peter has a bit more luck in getting his message out when he brings the three to his house. We get more insight to how materialized Christmas has become, the fake Christmas tree being the numero uno offender. It leads to a nice musical number as the aliens envision what Christmas was like in the old days, according to the grandmother (who's waiting for the opportunity to wish the others would know what it's like to grow old)

Our conflict comes in as Marvin steals Lucy, and I think i found the point when the creators put their hands up. It leads to a super long chase sequence, including moments where the townspeople investigate the aliens' ship. It comes to a head when Marvin, Peter and Lucy fall into the frozen lake. Some more stalling later and the people get the insight to form a human chain to save them, with the aliens refusing at first to avoid interference. But luckily they sack up, bite the bullet and help.

Marvin gets reprimanded in a move that I'd like to call too little too late. The townspeople were already wrapped around general greed and apathy, but the craziest thing is that the grandmother gave the worst rebuttal. She said Marvin was just hungry, which given the implications I tried to give would amount to him wanting to kill the bird if he got his way. But I could be overanalyzing this. Everyone comes to a peaceful understanding and have a Christmas party at Peter's house, where the aliens part, having learned the ups and downs of what Christmas really is about.

Animation

Since this was an independent venture produced at an early time and back when they had little assets, I won't be too harsh on the animation. There is some nice weight to the animation, the choppiness is enhanced by it, the character designs are stylish, I'd take that over looking just bland, and it's not as noticeable when animation is looped or reused. It's a fine effort, but it would be improved on overtime in ensuing specials, only to go back down when Nelvana went into the cold embrace of flash animation.

Overall

A simple review for a simple movie. I'd prefer this over Frosty the Snowman and Olive the Other Reindeer (kinda on the latter).

Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Kids review

There's a movie called...

There's a predecessor to a TV show called...

There's a successor to a book series called...

Remember that show about anthropomorphic bugs with CGI that wouldn't look out of place in a late-90s Mainframe Entertainment production? Well you could easily find the episodes on YouTube and the movie too so come back if you need a refresher. Now, you ready for the review?

History

Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Kids is a 2003 animated film based on a series of books by David Kirk, released from 1994 through to 2001. I haven't read the books, but I have seen some episodes of the show and I did catch the movie, well part of it, and most aspects of it escaped me as I got older. The film was produced by Nelvana, a name you should all know by now, though from then Nelvana rarely produced the animation for their productions themselves. This could be an early entry for AbsoluteDigital Pictures, who was behind the ensuing Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends. The animation for each is similar enough so it's a solid guess.

Given that this is a lesser animated project, who do you think distributed it? Metro Goldwyn Mayer. Yeah, they seem to have (or had, don't know) a pension for releasing lesser animated films. Crazy thing is, this random deviation's description sums up my thoughts on MGM's release rhetoric.

"MGM is one of Hollywood's greatest entertainment powerhouses. Vain but lion-hearted, she works hard to help out her acquaintances with movies, even if they're underrated or just sappy. By the way, MGM distributed "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" and "Starchaser: The Legend of Orin", so she has a strange taste for kids' movies."This image is by IndigoBunny99

Anyway, as far as I could tell, people consider this film to be... okay. The worst review I've seen knocked the animation. Get back to me when you've seen Rapsittie Street Kids (Christmas is coming) and then tell me how shit the animation is for this movie. Something definitely went right when the movie came out though, for it led to a TV series a year later. People were interested, and that's all that was needed.

Since Treehouse has uploaded many of their old shows onto their YouTube channel, and since they're free to view (at least on my end), I revisited the film to see if it was as good as I remember, and ultimately find whatever I missed.

In spite of being a predominantly Canadian production (hence Nelvana's involvement), the film does have some American actors, well three, and that depends on your point of view on one of them. The film stars Brooke Shields and Rick Moranis, remember him? I recall how he wasted his final role on a sequel to the worst classic 2Disney movie ever, and it's not Home on the Range.

Tony Jay is in this too, and interestingly, in spite of the ensuing TV series using a Canadian cast, he actually reprised his role. I don't know why this is surprising to me because Nelvana shows tend to have some American actors here and there. Tales from the Cryptkeeper actually got John Kassir to reprise his role as the Cryptkeeper, they got Frankie Muniz for Moville Mysteries, they got David Arquette for Pelswick and if Wikipedia's anything to go by, they got Dwight Schultz (Murdoch from The A-Team) for My Dad the Rock Star. Lastly, while they couldn't get Brooke Shields to reprise her role as Miss Spider, they got Kristin Davis to do it, who's not only also based in America, but also appeared in Sex and the City, as in one of the main characters. Charlotte is who she plays. Not knocking her performance she actually does a good job here but that's just some interesting trivia.

Premise

After a subjectively odd title splash which has Miss Spiders' disembodied head on a web, we get a look around Sunny Patch, paradise for bugs and what seems to be an attempt at insectophobia therapy. A wedding is in progress between Miss Spider (Flora's her actual name but since she's known through either I doubt it'd matter what I call her) and Holly (who interesting fact, I thought was a woman for some reason.) Jealousy ensues for the laughably named Spiderus who wanted some of that thick... juicy... egg-sac (Spiderus eats eggs, no matter the creature that lays it, so that joke is actually just a subtle allegory with a hint of embellishment.)

One aspect of the film that irks me is that it's mostly just filler. It takes too long to get to the nitty-gritty of the plot and the filler scenes just reveal minor details. You could say I'm being too harsh on scenes that exist for foreshadowing, but look at it like this. There's a scene where a chicken (the bugs' prime enemy, thanks for not using a human because given where the movie's heading it would be kinda weird, and I hate to imagine how they'd depict humans with their animation) attacks the bugs, but it turns out that it's there for another purpose I won't reveal just yet. To get there, we had to go through an overlong party scene.

After Miss Spider and Holly tie the knot, the former is pregnant, pre-maternal stress ensues. Part of that comes from the fact that Miss Spider was abandoned at a young age and as a result she never learned the necessities of being a spider, like making the egg sac. She is adopted by Betty Beatle (take a guess what kind of bug she is) and the rest is history.

Nobody knows for sure what happened to Miss Spider's biological mother or what kind of mother she is. Maybe Miss Spider was an unwanted baby that came from a forced sexual encounter, but the mother was against getting an abortion (could you blame her) so just left Miss Spider in the hopes the problem would fix itself. Maybe she was eaten by a chicken, but then again that could've led to something far more interesting for the movie. Or maybe the mother moved to Canaima, California, met a Venezuelan spider and bred an army to kill the residents, only to be done in by an arachnophobic doctor and John Goodman, but probably John Goodman.

R.I.P.

But then again, Miss Spider claims to have stuck with Betty because she loved her the best. So did they find Miss Spider's mom and she was like fuck off or whatever? I dunno that's not important.

Soon enough, Miss Spider lays her eggs, one of which nearly winds up in Spiderus' obnoxiously evil gob. They hatch and we get to see the lazier aspect of the film's animation. Almost instantly the bugs are born with their clothes on. Wiggle has her hat, Squirt (nice name by the way, way to make him feel small when he gets older surely, if ever, who ages in animation?), has his hat too, and Spinner has his glasses, not to mention glasses right this moment.

The kids come across a giant egg (and refer back in the plot summary to get an idea on who laid it, you may be astounded by your lack of surprise.) and decorate it. Squirt, concerned that it's an egg without a mother to retrieve it, sets out to find it. All that really happens is a stretched rendition of traveling through dangerous areas, Miss Spider trying to find Squirt and Spiderus trying to find the egg, to eat.

From this point, not much happens beyond some encounters with new characters, with only three of them turning out to be important. Squirt comes across a trio of kid bandits, Dragon, a dragonfly who takes on the tough egotist persona (only other interesting aspect is that his actor (Mitchell Eisner)'s wikipedia page redirects to the page for Ed, Edd n' Eddy, and near as I could tell he never appeared in the show. Back to the other two there's Bounce, a bedbug who's portrayal is far off from that of an actual bedbug, he doesn't look like a bloodsucker to me, and finally there's Shimmer, who could do anything she wants evidentially, whether it involves being the more reasonable voice of the three or detecting warmth (okay the former's understandable, at least in fiction, and I would say water beetles could detect heat, but her character summary says it's one of the few abilities she has that others do not.) All this amounts to is more characters coming along for the ride.

As concerned parents do, Miss Spider sets out along with Holly to find Squirt. Spiderus comes along, but if my big bad comments weren't indicative enough, Spiderus isn't going to walk away without blood on his legs. Adding to this is an apparent snow storm, which occurs in either summer or spring. Luckily the characters are as confused over this as I am. This just amounts to Squirt and co. taking shelter in a stinkbug's home (which itself amounts to a significant clue for Miss Spider and her party.

When I first watched this, I got to the scene where Miss Spider and co. traverse across a weak natural bridge. I bring this up because I thought Spiderus died here, or at the very least was left to die, and hence I was surprised he made it to the TV series. But no that doesn't happen. Holly does go down to save him and they continue to the Stinkbug, where they learn that their ultimate destination is a farm. A farm with chickens (the bugs' prime enemy fyi). Spiderus is also relinquished of his jealous lover characterization after he discovers a beauty as physically impaired as him. You know what? I'm okay with that, this character also appears in the TV series.

All that happens next amounts to the kids evading the chicken, who's reunited with its egg. All ends happily, and how could it not given the nature of this movie?

To Sum Up

Any disappointment I have with the premise mostly stems from my own beliefs on how the film could've been better. With everything that either occurs or is mentioned, I thought it would be better to embellish the grim aspects. This amounts to the chicken being the one that killed Miss Spider's mom, or the kids accidentally killing the chicken and winding up having to adopt the soon to be hatched. I'm kinda fucked up if you can't tell by now.

The Animation

Let's get the elephant out of the room, the animation... hasn't aged that well let's just get that out of the way. I could forgive the animation more if I were talking about the series, but the movie and show have the same quality animation. Canadian CGI animation has always been hit-or-miss, with Mainframe Entertainment's shows being doomed to look dated and primitive, and Monster By Mistake being the most offensive of them all (be thankful you don't know what I'm referring to.)

There is a silver lining to this, the design is actually very close to the art style present in the book, and I guess the lesser animation led to more malleable designs, hence the non-jagged circular artifacts.

Overall

This review is lacking, but that's because there isn't that much to the special. Best I could say is that it gets the job done. Miss Spider isn't the kind of series that warrants major action every few seconds. It's just an easy-going series that teaches basic morals and inspires good feelings. It fits the atmosphere present in the books, it's faithful to the books, hell, the only complaint I've seen about the series and the movie so far is the animation, and to that I say, you made anime-styled shows famous.

I'd also like to point out one thing that bugs me. Miss Spider gave birth, and is still alive. Mother spiders usually die after giving birth, giving some of their life to the newborns. You may think that I'm applying pointless real world logic to this, but this happened in a little number called Charlotte's Web, I'm sure you've heard of that.

If you want to watch the movie for yourselves, here it is.

Fairly Odd Parents: Breakin' Da Rules review

Right off the bat, I'm not a huge fan of Fairly Odd Parents. I did watch the show when it was new, I stuck with it up to a few episodes in after the introduction of Poof (which may be a review in the making, if I ever get around to it.), one of my most popular YouTube videos is a clip of Fairly Odd Parents and lo and behold I actually had this game, completed it, the whole shebang, and all of the aspects to it are interred into my brain.

Going into a Nickelodeon game is always a risk. A risk in that people will sperg on about how I'm supposedly sperging about something pertaining to cartoons, or the fact that there'd be a vocal minority or a stagnant majority who would defend this game with all their might (why else do you think negative reviews of Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase exist?)

Personal Background

When you were a kid in the early-2000s, Nickelodeon was among one of your prime interests, and that interest would extend to video games. Nickelodeon games have been around since the late NES era, from then to the fifth generation of gaming, they were... hell not even okay, but fear not, because one generation later the games got better, and continued well until the end of the 2000s. As a result, many Nickelodeon games have been held in a decent regard with little protest (unless the game was by BigSky Interactive).

I actually got this game when it was new, back when I actually had a GameCube (but past me had no concept of treating shit with care.) I played with it for a while, couldn't get past a level for whatever reason, threw a hissy fit and moved on, only to come back to it and later beat it, and thank goodness for that because now I don't even have it anymore. So... purpose fulfilled I guess.

Game Background

Breakin' Da Rules came out in 2003. Keeping with a tradition that has become a standard since around 2001, the game was released to consoles, as well as the PC and Game Boy Advance. Each version is different, but since I mainly used the PC to play flash games and since I didn't have the game for the GBA, I stuck with the console version. The console version was developed by Blitz Games, who's name should be familiar to many of you.

Blitz was behind Frogger 2: Swampy's Revenge, a sequel to a Frogger game on the PlayStation which got better reviews than the first. They were also behind Zapper and the third installment in the Pac-Man World series (the quality of those games is entirely up to you.) They're no strangers to Nickelodeon either, for they've went on to produce some SpongeBob games after Heavy Iron Studios dropped out, and they even dabbled in producing games for Burger King (like full-fledged titles for the XBOX 360, how the fuck does that happen?)

Lastly they produced another Fairly Odd Parents game, Shadow Showdown, which for the record improved on the aspects present in this game. You'd think that with a studio like Blitz this game would be able to hold its own... Then you sit down and play the game.

Story

Admittedly, the story keeps with the spirit of the show. Timmy's parents leave and, obviously, Vicky is hired to look after him. Upset that he can't wish his way out the inevitable, Timmy wishes to nullify the Fairly World equivalent to the Bible. Naturally, the book winds up in Vicky's hands and we have the conflict of the day. Cosmo and Wanda are given inferior wands and are ordered to recover Da Rules, page by page and are granted less than fifty hours to find them. Pay no mind to that aspect, because it's never brought up again.

The only affect Vicky's wishes has on Timmy are exclusive to the levels, and no she never catches on to the power she has received. One advantage this game has is that the story at least shares the same atmosphere as a typical FOP episode. It's a lot more faithful than Revenge of the Flying Dutchman.

Gameplay

Par the course for many Nickelodeon games from this era, it's a 3D platformer. This would typically be a plus for me and potentially other people, exploration is always a nice touch, whether I'd be looking for hidden stuff or imagining my own scenario as I venture around. Why the hell did I say that? Unlike those other Nickeoldeon games, with some very minor exceptions this game is very linear. You don't have a lot of room to explore in the levels, there's typically only one right way to go and the hub world sucks too.

Referring back to the joys of open world exploration, the hub world is a good way for you to take the edge off after a hard level. Here, for most of the game you're limited to Timmy's bedroom, but later you get to explore downstairs and mostly outside. That's it. The only things you could interact with is the level portals and a save area. It's the most basic hub world I know of, and Nickelodeon games are not known for crap hub worlds. You could explore anywhere in Rocket Power Beach Bandits, Spongebob Squarepants Battle for Bikini Bottom has ridiculous freedom for exploration, this game not only gives you fuck all to explore outside of levels, but you don't get much of a reward for exploring a level.

Each level has a set objective, just do the objective and you're done. The main goal is to collect wish stars, with five of them enabling you to make a wish. These bastards won't stay still though, for the moment you approach them they'll run away. Unless you lack common sense or holding the analog stick in a certain way is too much for your thumb this shouldn't be that hard.

You're not spoiled for choice on collectibles either. You could collect crowns, with one hundred of them granting you an extra life (haven't we done away with this by now? This sounds like something out of a late-90s video game.), but at best they're just a diversion, unless you can't sack up just collect as many as you can.

Admittedly, the game does have an interesting bonus mechanic. There're Crimson Chin cards scattered across every level. For your reward, you're treated to clips from different episodes, particularly scenes from Abra-Catastrophe and everyone's jam Icky Vicky. You could even unlock a full FOP episode if you collect every card, but that only goes for the PlayStation 2 version. Best you'd get on the GameCube version is a music video consisting of moving JPEGs set to one of the game's songs. I'm kinda starting to get an idea on why the GameCube wasn't so fondly remembered.

Essentially, you could get through this game pretty easily as long as you know what you're doing.

Levels

Admittedly, each level has a different structure, but the core is kept the same and again, it's linear as fuck. Nonetheless, that means I could talk about each level individually. Basically each level is modeled after a Fairly Odd Parents episode with some liberties taken here and there. Another plus.

Tutorial

What's a game without a tutorial? To begin, Vicky wishes Timmy was still asleep, done to illustrate the effect she'll hold for the rest of the game. The tutorial does its job, but not as well. You're stopped every time you come to a certain point, and as I'm about to go over in a later section, the cutscene skipping is ridiculous. The tutorial reveals everything there is to this game, basics wise and you should take it all in as deep as you can, because you could never go back to it.

A Badge too Far

This is based on one of the pilot FOP shorts that aired on Oh Yeah! Cartoons. The level title is a pun on a title of one of the main FOP episodes, but I'll see how many of you could get it.

Timmy heads out for a Squirrelly Scouts function. Vicky wishes that she could find a way to assert the superiority of her scouts, the Creme Puffs. This leads to her gaining a multitude of badges, and since they were received through magic, it somehow enables her complete control of the entire Creme Scout troop. If you know Vicky, you could see where she takes them. There's also a very minor subplot about Wanda not coming along to promote some inclusivity shit. So minor that it only warrants the satisfaction of a very brief mention.

The level involves Timmy going to rescue his fellow Squirrelly Scouts before infiltrating the Creme Puff's site. Per wishes, Timmy receives a beaver chainsaw to cut down trees for makeshift bridges, and the last one is a disguise enabling Timmy to enter Camp Creme Puff, and you need this to get in otherwise you'll lose a life. When inside, you also need to interact with four more Squirrelly Scouts to get info on a secret dance you need to do in order to enter the Creme Puff headquarters, and no you're not given a code directly, this just activates a DDR-type game. Ace this and you're almost home. Vicky discovers Timmy taking her badges and a chase ensues. Unless you're a crown-hog, this should be easy. Do that and the level's over.

In a nutshell, imagine Metal Gear Solid if it was a simpler version of MGS3 on European Extreme.

The Vicky Virus

Based on the second segment to the first FOP episode. A day of video games leads to Vicky wishing that Timmy and his friends AJ and Chester were trapped in one of their games. From here this game takes on a more interesting turn. There's a bit of a challenge, where enemies swarm more frequently than in others, there's a bit of a challenge where you have to traverse through a lava-filled room, the works. There's this cheap-o bonus section that seems to be a satire on bonus levels in general. It's a reference to the Ninja Bunnies, a joke in the episode this level is based on. Your reward is a bunch of crowns and a one-up if you pop enough balloons.

Next there's a puzzle section where you have to haul ice blocks into a body of water to not only get to the other side but claim two stars, and an extra life if you're daring enough. This is where one of the wishes comes into play. Get through that and it leads to an interesting bit where you play as AJ after Timmy gets trapped behind a laser barricade. All that comes out of this is a boat section where you have to ride through checkpoints while getting to the end. Did I say linear?

Just when you think it's over, next you play as Chester where you have to save Timmy and AJ from a horde of cyber bees. If you let too many pass, it's over. After traversing a room full of falling data sparks and rolling balls, you get a new wish, which is just your already existing weapon converted to a disc shooter. It all culminates in you fighting the game itself. Just dodge the lasers and hit the exposed weakpoint, par the course for any boss in a kids game. They at least try to make it a bit more difficult where for every hit the lasers get faster, but if you get the pattern it won't matter how fast the lasers go.

This is the highpoint of the entire game, not just because of how close it is to the episode it's based on, but the fact that it's ab objectively good level all in all.

Chinless Blunder

For this, Vicky channels her inner crabby anti-fantasy tard and wishes that the Crimson Chin would become a pathetic individual and that Timmy would go into the comic, mostly to get a level out of it. Somehow, the Chin's powers wound up in the hands of the Chin's villains, Country Boy who received the Chin's strength, Spatula Woman who received the Chin's charisma and Gilded Arches, who received the Chin's speed.

You get to make three wishes in total, each when dealing with the aforementioned villains. The Chin Copter is used to pursue Country Boy through the streets of Chincinnati while getting rid of stink gass balloons by cutting the strings. So are the balloons full of the gas or are the things below them full of gas? I hope it's the former because Timmy's doing Country Boy a favor.

The Chinarang is a projectile weapon you mainly use to stun goons and fight Spatula Woman. I gave up at this part long ago because I actually forgot I had this ability. Before you face Spatula Woman though you have to hit three switches to stop a series of whisks within a giant cake batter bowl which the Mayor is dangling over. Yes that does sound twisted.

Lastly you get the grappling punching bag, same effect as the Chinarang but with the added luxury of being able to swing from place to place. When I got here I was confused shitless on what to do until I got lucky. It all culminates in a grappling match where you have to keep a cursor towards the center for a few seconds. Get used to that, because soon it will get tripled.

Right off the bat, this is the game at its laziest. The stars are always in the same place every three times you go to get them. The linearity is also at its worst too, and the only thing that can kill you is bad timing. While I'm on this, this level also feels lazy with its choice of characters. I get Spatula Woman since she actually appeared in the episode this level's based on, but Country Boy is just a fleeting reference who at best was used for a joke. As for Gilded Arches I thought he was just made up for the game, but it turns out that he appeared in a series of webtoons that I never heard of, who knew?

Those aren't the worst offenders though. For the pathetic Crimson Chin, they used the fake Crimson Chin that appeared at the convention Timmy went to in the episode Chin Up. Maybe this was meant to be funny but I could be wrong. What likely isn't meant to be funny is that they have an anchor man who's the exact same person that the Crimson Chin used to be before he got bit on the chin by a man with a radioactive personality. They were definitely not on the chin when it came to this.

Mini Timmy

Once you complete two of the three levels above, a new one opens. You'd think that you could unlock a new level for every one you complete but no, this is the only time a single level opens, whereas a multitude of new levels open right after this one.

Anyway, this was another level I got stuck on, more on that later. Timmy is shrunk down by Vicky who wishes that Timmy would be that size so he could thoroughly clean the tub, and all this happened over Timmy teasing Vicky over a spider. As a former arachnophobe, I call this level just desserts. This is one of the trickier levels, why? No reason, other than the abundance of narrow platforms and the fact that they're the only things keeping you from landing into the water.

You also get to encounter more enemies, with your trusty can of spray you could attack a series of germs and unlike most enemies that disappear when killed or merely get stunned, they remain there, staring at you, internally cursing you for taking their filthy livelihood away without provocation. Among your wishes are a cu-tip that you use to tightrope walk across the water. This seems like it's stressful, but that's because it is. It's doable though, just press the opposite way Timmy's facing while walking until you reach the end.

There's this anti-gravity thing, which amounts to Timmy being able to jump higher by following the float pattern of a bubble. It leads to the next boss battle, a giant germ which you use your third wish, a soap shooter, to destroy.

This level is like bad tasting medicine. The rotten taste you can't avoid, leading to some sensible relief soon after. Do all that and you can cover the remaining ground of the hub world.

Time Warped

Timmy issuing a correction on Vicky's history report leads her to wishing that history would play out her way. This leads to a girl taking Sir Arthur's place as the puller of the magic sword (basically a less painful rendition of America Chavez taking Captain America's place as the one who punched Hitler. It wasn't enough that someone punched the king of the Nazis apparently, and I'll leave it at that, I'm prepping myself for a conflict I could never escape from.

Anyway, that, along with the pyramids being cubic and the Greeks being lazy. The former isn't a dilemma, but I guess Timmy really wanted to drive the point home. The first is King Arthur's time. Cosmo and Wanda warn about being seen which could influence time negatively, but this is never brought up again, and hello, they were talking to Sir Arthur. Maybe they did fuck up the timeline, but whatever, at worst now we just have a book series with a different letter in place of another. It's your job to pull the sword (while under the guise of Arthur for after you get it out) and get it to Arthur. The only wish you get here is a grappling device, rinse and repeat for the punching bag thing, hold the ability to stun enemies. I take it this came before that one.

In Ancient Egypt, obviously they forgot about the don't interfere with history deal, for the best when you get down to it, you get a giant hammer which you use to deconstruct square pyramids, though this amounts to you making pathways to progress. You could also use the hammer to stun enemies. Break enough pyramids and this will somehow catch on with the Egyptians as a few abrupt cuts later will show the impact of your historical interference.

Greece is a bit more complicated, you go through an obstacle course, you have to traverse through a steam bath room (again, water kills you) and you need to make it through a path of locked gates by exploiting a stone on a teeter-totter... all to fix a bunch of statues.

The sections become more interesting as the level goes on, admittedly, but it still feels kinda bare. The only offensive aspect is that Wanda appears in near plain sight, speaking aloud in warning Timmy not to cause the previous events to repeat.

Vicky's siting on a couch facing the stairway. FYI.

Only other bit of trivia I could give about this is that for Arthur they use the dorky rendition from Knighty Knight, not played by the same actor FTR.

A Dog's Life

Essentially any of the lesser levels with a different character model. Hey guys I can totally change aspects about this game. Through an implicative wish, Timmy becomes a dog, and the only thing preventing him from returning to normal is that it would interfere with true love (Tootie makes her first and only appearance in this level, guess where this is leading). It's your job to traverse through a shopping mall after escaping a dog pound. Per wishes, you'd get night vision which could help you get to dark areas, a flight power up which is only useful for one section where there're floating floors, and a digging ability that only comes into play at the very end. It's only useful for potted plants. All it takes is getting dirty for Tootie to lose interest in Timmy.

Felt like a chore getting through it, but it was okay.

Crash Landing

Things get interesting again as Vicky wishes for an alien invasion to make the day interesting. You traverse through a wrecked neighborhood, only to get stopped for unstoppable cutscenes where you see destruction occur, enemies getting deployed and a ship continuously firing in one area. These obstacles are avoidable and they only seem to exist as a form of compensation for the enemies. The enemies are nothing once you realize that if you get close and back them into a wall they die immediately.

Your wishes amount to punching gloves you use to break furniture and through walls, but that's really only to get to the stars to bring forth your ultimate wish, the Crash Nebula suit. With it you could shoot pillow projectiles at enemies. You go from the neighborhood into a space ship once you get the suit. You're treated to a number of puzzles which amount to pressing the right button and going the right way. Another wish you activate is a jet pack, and beyond one pissworthy moment where you could get shot by an enemy and fall to your death, this is doable as long as you go knowing you could land on a platform.

There's a moving platform puzzle where you hike up boxes to jump off of cargo vessels. The challenge is the limited hight you could cover. More exploration later and you wind up on Yugopotamia where you go through three challenges based on what Timmy encounters in the episode Spaced Out, but in a major plus, they're turned into actual challenges. You go through a field of flowers while evading venus fly traps and a slippery floor near the end which amounts to nothing. You're then put in a battle with numerous killer teddy bears and it all ends in a challenge within a chocolate river where you press buttons to get to the other side while evading lazy-eyed chocolate dinosaurs who hock the same bubble-type projectiles as the other enemies in the level. Astounded by your bravery, it leads to the conclusion of the level.

One thing I should note is that Mark Chang is not present in the level, though he does appear in the tutorial. Since they become friends much later in the show, I think Mark exists solely to help Timmy become acquainted with the kinds of enemies he'll encounter in the rest of the game. A true friend indeed.

Bad Luck 101

Last of the main levels, and the second to last level overall. Timmy has to go to school on a Saturday due to Vicky having extra classes that day. After the "classic" one getting splashed on by a passing vehicle, Vicky wishes that Timmy had her bad luck for the day, leading to our antagonists for the level, the anti-fairies (and no, Anti-Cosmo/Wanda don't appear in this level, it would be ideal but no, they were starting to kick back at this point).

There's actually plenty to cover here. Timmy's bad luck causes wrecking balls to crash through the halls creating a ridiculous obstacle to overcome, later you encounter evil trashcans that move in a similar pattern to the wrecking balls and you also encounter falling books (the only interesting aspect I could point out for the books is the sound some make when you get too close.) The main objective is to stop Crocker who's also present, and him discovering the anti-fairies would help him prove their existence. Okay, that actually makes sense, maybe that's where they make up for the lazy villain choice on the anti-fairy front.)

Your first wish leads to your prime mechanism of capturing anti-fairies. Remember that final aspect of the last segment in Chinless Blunder? It's back with a vengeance. You have to keep the cursor in the center for a certain amount of time before the clock runs out. Three times, one for each anti-fairy. This isn't hard, and I can't call this tedious since these are spaced far out. Later you encounter Crocker, first while you round up more wish stars with him walking around. You get your next wish, springy shoes which are exclusive to a certain segment in the level.

Your next encounter with Crocker leads to you having to stand in the right place at the right time as he pops out from whatever's against the wall. This leads to your next wish, rocket boots, which are used even less than the spring shoes. It all leads up to one more explorative section where you catch the last anti-fairy, but we're not done yet.

You later find Crocker's lair and while you try to find a way out, you put the anti-fairies into Crocker's fairy hunting van, then you round it off by sending the fairies to Vicky.

Interestingly, characters that didn't make the cut are displayed in portraits throughout the school. Principal Waxoplax, that other teacher that appeared in Crocker's first appearance, the bus driver and the lunch lady.

The "Ultimate" Challenge

The home stretch. You had rounded up all of the missing pages of Da Rules, except for one, the table of contents, which allows Vicky a shred of power for influence. She is turned into a dragon for a pointless sense of challenge. So what do you do here? Wait for a moment until she strikes a certain area? Shoot at her at the right moment? No, you wait on a tile as she flies toward you and then you get out of the way so she could hit it. The point is that you need to hit a series of tiles in a right order to get Vicky to wish she never took Da Rules from Timmy. Points for making sense and going with a similar method of resolution in other episodes, but this holds the same level of quality as the other levels, as in the super-linear ones. How bad could this be? Beyond the wrong sequence, there're only two wrong tiles, and common sense will help lead you away from those.

So what's your prize for winning? Just a traditional FOP ending. Suitable for the show, and fitting for an otherwise bland game.

Graphics

So as you could gather, the gameplay isn't very good. But there was one aspect that proved to be objectively good, and that's the graphics. The game utilizes cel-shaded graphics and backgrounds that hold the same visual style as what's used on the show. This allowed Blitz Games to win an award at a technology festival in their native country. While the graphics capture the show, the animation is hit or miss for me. Sometimes the characters hold the wrong expression due to them using a preset one. Other times, characters rarely change their expression, Vicky, Jorgen Von Strangle, the Judge and Tootie and the Squirrelly Scouts are the most notable offenders. Pay close attention to the dialogue and tone of voice and you'll understand why.

Music

The music is identical to what you may hear on the show, and it certainly fits the theme of the levels they're played in. But at the same time it isn't that memorable. It's really up to you what tracks you'd prefer if you played this growing up. Personally, the tutorial level's music is the best track in the game.

Sound Quality

Had to give this its own section because it warrants it. For some reason, the sound quality isn't very good. It sounds a bit muffled for some reason. Maybe this was an oversight on Blitz's part?

Overall

All this game had was its immense faithfulness to the show, and it's clear that it either took heavy precedence over making an above average game, or they just snagged the license to make a quick buck. It's like they wanted to make a bunch of interactive Fairly Odd Parents episodes, but it takes so long for stuff to happen that it would've been better to just wing it. It worked well for other Nickelodeon games.

Once Shadow Showdown hit the scene, this game was rendered obsolete since that game improved on this one in all the key aspects. For one, you could skip cutscenes easily by pausing and clicking the option saying to do so, you have more abilities pre-wishing, once you unlock the wishes you could pick any one of them you want. There's a greater reward for exploration since there're lots of extras you could unlock, you could go back to older areas with different wishes to get whatever you missed, there's more effort put into the animation and expressions, even the bosses are a bit more challenging, there's a boss for every level, the hud still sucks but it doesn't give a false sense of hope for exploration, the story is a bit more interesting- HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS BETTER THAN BRREAKIN' DA RULES IN EVERY ASPECT!

The point is, Blitz sacked up and made much better Nickelodeon games, pre-Kinnect era though, so perhaps this game was merely a test to see how well they could recreate the design of Fairly Odd Parents in 3D, and honestly, that worked pretty well. Only problem is that they promised a game, and the rest is history.