Fairly Odd Parents: Breakin' Da Rules review

Right off the bat, I'm not a huge fan of Fairly Odd Parents. I did watch the show when it was new, I stuck with it up to a few episodes in after the introduction of Poof (which may be a review in the making, if I ever get around to it.), one of my most popular YouTube videos is a clip of Fairly Odd Parents and lo and behold I actually had this game, completed it, the whole shebang, and all of the aspects to it are interred into my brain.

Going into a Nickelodeon game is always a risk. A risk in that people will sperg on about how I'm supposedly sperging about something pertaining to cartoons, or the fact that there'd be a vocal minority or a stagnant majority who would defend this game with all their might (why else do you think negative reviews of Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase exist?)

Personal Background

When you were a kid in the early-2000s, Nickelodeon was among one of your prime interests, and that interest would extend to video games. Nickelodeon games have been around since the late NES era, from then to the fifth generation of gaming, they were... hell not even okay, but fear not, because one generation later the games got better, and continued well until the end of the 2000s. As a result, many Nickelodeon games have been held in a decent regard with little protest (unless the game was by BigSky Interactive).

I actually got this game when it was new, back when I actually had a GameCube (but past me had no concept of treating shit with care.) I played with it for a while, couldn't get past a level for whatever reason, threw a hissy fit and moved on, only to come back to it and later beat it, and thank goodness for that because now I don't even have it anymore. So... purpose fulfilled I guess.

Game Background

Breakin' Da Rules came out in 2003. Keeping with a tradition that has become a standard since around 2001, the game was released to consoles, as well as the PC and Game Boy Advance. Each version is different, but since I mainly used the PC to play flash games and since I didn't have the game for the GBA, I stuck with the console version. The console version was developed by Blitz Games, who's name should be familiar to many of you.

Blitz was behind Frogger 2: Swampy's Revenge, a sequel to a Frogger game on the PlayStation which got better reviews than the first. They were also behind Zapper and the third installment in the Pac-Man World series (the quality of those games is entirely up to you.) They're no strangers to Nickelodeon either, for they've went on to produce some SpongeBob games after Heavy Iron Studios dropped out, and they even dabbled in producing games for Burger King (like full-fledged titles for the XBOX 360, how the fuck does that happen?)

Lastly they produced another Fairly Odd Parents game, Shadow Showdown, which for the record improved on the aspects present in this game. You'd think that with a studio like Blitz this game would be able to hold its own... Then you sit down and play the game.

Story

Admittedly, the story keeps with the spirit of the show. Timmy's parents leave and, obviously, Vicky is hired to look after him. Upset that he can't wish his way out the inevitable, Timmy wishes to nullify the Fairly World equivalent to the Bible. Naturally, the book winds up in Vicky's hands and we have the conflict of the day. Cosmo and Wanda are given inferior wands and are ordered to recover Da Rules, page by page and are granted less than fifty hours to find them. Pay no mind to that aspect, because it's never brought up again.

The only affect Vicky's wishes has on Timmy are exclusive to the levels, and no she never catches on to the power she has received. One advantage this game has is that the story at least shares the same atmosphere as a typical FOP episode. It's a lot more faithful than Revenge of the Flying Dutchman.

Gameplay

Par the course for many Nickelodeon games from this era, it's a 3D platformer. This would typically be a plus for me and potentially other people, exploration is always a nice touch, whether I'd be looking for hidden stuff or imagining my own scenario as I venture around. Why the hell did I say that? Unlike those other Nickeoldeon games, with some very minor exceptions this game is very linear. You don't have a lot of room to explore in the levels, there's typically only one right way to go and the hub world sucks too.

Referring back to the joys of open world exploration, the hub world is a good way for you to take the edge off after a hard level. Here, for most of the game you're limited to Timmy's bedroom, but later you get to explore downstairs and mostly outside. That's it. The only things you could interact with is the level portals and a save area. It's the most basic hub world I know of, and Nickelodeon games are not known for crap hub worlds. You could explore anywhere in Rocket Power Beach Bandits, Spongebob Squarepants Battle for Bikini Bottom has ridiculous freedom for exploration, this game not only gives you fuck all to explore outside of levels, but you don't get much of a reward for exploring a level.

Each level has a set objective, just do the objective and you're done. The main goal is to collect wish stars, with five of them enabling you to make a wish. These bastards won't stay still though, for the moment you approach them they'll run away. Unless you lack common sense or holding the analog stick in a certain way is too much for your thumb this shouldn't be that hard.

You're not spoiled for choice on collectibles either. You could collect crowns, with one hundred of them granting you an extra life (haven't we done away with this by now? This sounds like something out of a late-90s video game.), but at best they're just a diversion, unless you can't sack up just collect as many as you can.

Admittedly, the game does have an interesting bonus mechanic. There're Crimson Chin cards scattered across every level. For your reward, you're treated to clips from different episodes, particularly scenes from Abra-Catastrophe and everyone's jam Icky Vicky. You could even unlock a full FOP episode if you collect every card, but that only goes for the PlayStation 2 version. Best you'd get on the GameCube version is a music video consisting of moving JPEGs set to one of the game's songs. I'm kinda starting to get an idea on why the GameCube wasn't so fondly remembered.

Essentially, you could get through this game pretty easily as long as you know what you're doing.

Levels

Admittedly, each level has a different structure, but the core is kept the same and again, it's linear as fuck. Nonetheless, that means I could talk about each level individually. Basically each level is modeled after a Fairly Odd Parents episode with some liberties taken here and there. Another plus.

Tutorial

What's a game without a tutorial? To begin, Vicky wishes Timmy was still asleep, done to illustrate the effect she'll hold for the rest of the game. The tutorial does its job, but not as well. You're stopped every time you come to a certain point, and as I'm about to go over in a later section, the cutscene skipping is ridiculous. The tutorial reveals everything there is to this game, basics wise and you should take it all in as deep as you can, because you could never go back to it.

A Badge too Far

This is based on one of the pilot FOP shorts that aired on Oh Yeah! Cartoons. The level title is a pun on a title of one of the main FOP episodes, but I'll see how many of you could get it.

Timmy heads out for a Squirrelly Scouts function. Vicky wishes that she could find a way to assert the superiority of her scouts, the Creme Puffs. This leads to her gaining a multitude of badges, and since they were received through magic, it somehow enables her complete control of the entire Creme Scout troop. If you know Vicky, you could see where she takes them. There's also a very minor subplot about Wanda not coming along to promote some inclusivity shit. So minor that it only warrants the satisfaction of a very brief mention.

The level involves Timmy going to rescue his fellow Squirrelly Scouts before infiltrating the Creme Puff's site. Per wishes, Timmy receives a beaver chainsaw to cut down trees for makeshift bridges, and the last one is a disguise enabling Timmy to enter Camp Creme Puff, and you need this to get in otherwise you'll lose a life. When inside, you also need to interact with four more Squirrelly Scouts to get info on a secret dance you need to do in order to enter the Creme Puff headquarters, and no you're not given a code directly, this just activates a DDR-type game. Ace this and you're almost home. Vicky discovers Timmy taking her badges and a chase ensues. Unless you're a crown-hog, this should be easy. Do that and the level's over.

In a nutshell, imagine Metal Gear Solid if it was a simpler version of MGS3 on European Extreme.

The Vicky Virus

Based on the second segment to the first FOP episode. A day of video games leads to Vicky wishing that Timmy and his friends AJ and Chester were trapped in one of their games. From here this game takes on a more interesting turn. There's a bit of a challenge, where enemies swarm more frequently than in others, there's a bit of a challenge where you have to traverse through a lava-filled room, the works. There's this cheap-o bonus section that seems to be a satire on bonus levels in general. It's a reference to the Ninja Bunnies, a joke in the episode this level is based on. Your reward is a bunch of crowns and a one-up if you pop enough balloons.

Next there's a puzzle section where you have to haul ice blocks into a body of water to not only get to the other side but claim two stars, and an extra life if you're daring enough. This is where one of the wishes comes into play. Get through that and it leads to an interesting bit where you play as AJ after Timmy gets trapped behind a laser barricade. All that comes out of this is a boat section where you have to ride through checkpoints while getting to the end. Did I say linear?

Just when you think it's over, next you play as Chester where you have to save Timmy and AJ from a horde of cyber bees. If you let too many pass, it's over. After traversing a room full of falling data sparks and rolling balls, you get a new wish, which is just your already existing weapon converted to a disc shooter. It all culminates in you fighting the game itself. Just dodge the lasers and hit the exposed weakpoint, par the course for any boss in a kids game. They at least try to make it a bit more difficult where for every hit the lasers get faster, but if you get the pattern it won't matter how fast the lasers go.

This is the highpoint of the entire game, not just because of how close it is to the episode it's based on, but the fact that it's ab objectively good level all in all.

Chinless Blunder

For this, Vicky channels her inner crabby anti-fantasy tard and wishes that the Crimson Chin would become a pathetic individual and that Timmy would go into the comic, mostly to get a level out of it. Somehow, the Chin's powers wound up in the hands of the Chin's villains, Country Boy who received the Chin's strength, Spatula Woman who received the Chin's charisma and Gilded Arches, who received the Chin's speed.

You get to make three wishes in total, each when dealing with the aforementioned villains. The Chin Copter is used to pursue Country Boy through the streets of Chincinnati while getting rid of stink gass balloons by cutting the strings. So are the balloons full of the gas or are the things below them full of gas? I hope it's the former because Timmy's doing Country Boy a favor.

The Chinarang is a projectile weapon you mainly use to stun goons and fight Spatula Woman. I gave up at this part long ago because I actually forgot I had this ability. Before you face Spatula Woman though you have to hit three switches to stop a series of whisks within a giant cake batter bowl which the Mayor is dangling over. Yes that does sound twisted.

Lastly you get the grappling punching bag, same effect as the Chinarang but with the added luxury of being able to swing from place to place. When I got here I was confused shitless on what to do until I got lucky. It all culminates in a grappling match where you have to keep a cursor towards the center for a few seconds. Get used to that, because soon it will get tripled.

Right off the bat, this is the game at its laziest. The stars are always in the same place every three times you go to get them. The linearity is also at its worst too, and the only thing that can kill you is bad timing. While I'm on this, this level also feels lazy with its choice of characters. I get Spatula Woman since she actually appeared in the episode this level's based on, but Country Boy is just a fleeting reference who at best was used for a joke. As for Gilded Arches I thought he was just made up for the game, but it turns out that he appeared in a series of webtoons that I never heard of, who knew?

Those aren't the worst offenders though. For the pathetic Crimson Chin, they used the fake Crimson Chin that appeared at the convention Timmy went to in the episode Chin Up. Maybe this was meant to be funny but I could be wrong. What likely isn't meant to be funny is that they have an anchor man who's the exact same person that the Crimson Chin used to be before he got bit on the chin by a man with a radioactive personality. They were definitely not on the chin when it came to this.

Mini Timmy

Once you complete two of the three levels above, a new one opens. You'd think that you could unlock a new level for every one you complete but no, this is the only time a single level opens, whereas a multitude of new levels open right after this one.

Anyway, this was another level I got stuck on, more on that later. Timmy is shrunk down by Vicky who wishes that Timmy would be that size so he could thoroughly clean the tub, and all this happened over Timmy teasing Vicky over a spider. As a former arachnophobe, I call this level just desserts. This is one of the trickier levels, why? No reason, other than the abundance of narrow platforms and the fact that they're the only things keeping you from landing into the water.

You also get to encounter more enemies, with your trusty can of spray you could attack a series of germs and unlike most enemies that disappear when killed or merely get stunned, they remain there, staring at you, internally cursing you for taking their filthy livelihood away without provocation. Among your wishes are a cu-tip that you use to tightrope walk across the water. This seems like it's stressful, but that's because it is. It's doable though, just press the opposite way Timmy's facing while walking until you reach the end.

There's this anti-gravity thing, which amounts to Timmy being able to jump higher by following the float pattern of a bubble. It leads to the next boss battle, a giant germ which you use your third wish, a soap shooter, to destroy.

This level is like bad tasting medicine. The rotten taste you can't avoid, leading to some sensible relief soon after. Do all that and you can cover the remaining ground of the hub world.

Time Warped

Timmy issuing a correction on Vicky's history report leads her to wishing that history would play out her way. This leads to a girl taking Sir Arthur's place as the puller of the magic sword (basically a less painful rendition of America Chavez taking Captain America's place as the one who punched Hitler. It wasn't enough that someone punched the king of the Nazis apparently, and I'll leave it at that, I'm prepping myself for a conflict I could never escape from.

Anyway, that, along with the pyramids being cubic and the Greeks being lazy. The former isn't a dilemma, but I guess Timmy really wanted to drive the point home. The first is King Arthur's time. Cosmo and Wanda warn about being seen which could influence time negatively, but this is never brought up again, and hello, they were talking to Sir Arthur. Maybe they did fuck up the timeline, but whatever, at worst now we just have a book series with a different letter in place of another. It's your job to pull the sword (while under the guise of Arthur for after you get it out) and get it to Arthur. The only wish you get here is a grappling device, rinse and repeat for the punching bag thing, hold the ability to stun enemies. I take it this came before that one.

In Ancient Egypt, obviously they forgot about the don't interfere with history deal, for the best when you get down to it, you get a giant hammer which you use to deconstruct square pyramids, though this amounts to you making pathways to progress. You could also use the hammer to stun enemies. Break enough pyramids and this will somehow catch on with the Egyptians as a few abrupt cuts later will show the impact of your historical interference.

Greece is a bit more complicated, you go through an obstacle course, you have to traverse through a steam bath room (again, water kills you) and you need to make it through a path of locked gates by exploiting a stone on a teeter-totter... all to fix a bunch of statues.

The sections become more interesting as the level goes on, admittedly, but it still feels kinda bare. The only offensive aspect is that Wanda appears in near plain sight, speaking aloud in warning Timmy not to cause the previous events to repeat.

Vicky's siting on a couch facing the stairway. FYI.

Only other bit of trivia I could give about this is that for Arthur they use the dorky rendition from Knighty Knight, not played by the same actor FTR.

A Dog's Life

Essentially any of the lesser levels with a different character model. Hey guys I can totally change aspects about this game. Through an implicative wish, Timmy becomes a dog, and the only thing preventing him from returning to normal is that it would interfere with true love (Tootie makes her first and only appearance in this level, guess where this is leading). It's your job to traverse through a shopping mall after escaping a dog pound. Per wishes, you'd get night vision which could help you get to dark areas, a flight power up which is only useful for one section where there're floating floors, and a digging ability that only comes into play at the very end. It's only useful for potted plants. All it takes is getting dirty for Tootie to lose interest in Timmy.

Felt like a chore getting through it, but it was okay.

Crash Landing

Things get interesting again as Vicky wishes for an alien invasion to make the day interesting. You traverse through a wrecked neighborhood, only to get stopped for unstoppable cutscenes where you see destruction occur, enemies getting deployed and a ship continuously firing in one area. These obstacles are avoidable and they only seem to exist as a form of compensation for the enemies. The enemies are nothing once you realize that if you get close and back them into a wall they die immediately.

Your wishes amount to punching gloves you use to break furniture and through walls, but that's really only to get to the stars to bring forth your ultimate wish, the Crash Nebula suit. With it you could shoot pillow projectiles at enemies. You go from the neighborhood into a space ship once you get the suit. You're treated to a number of puzzles which amount to pressing the right button and going the right way. Another wish you activate is a jet pack, and beyond one pissworthy moment where you could get shot by an enemy and fall to your death, this is doable as long as you go knowing you could land on a platform.

There's a moving platform puzzle where you hike up boxes to jump off of cargo vessels. The challenge is the limited hight you could cover. More exploration later and you wind up on Yugopotamia where you go through three challenges based on what Timmy encounters in the episode Spaced Out, but in a major plus, they're turned into actual challenges. You go through a field of flowers while evading venus fly traps and a slippery floor near the end which amounts to nothing. You're then put in a battle with numerous killer teddy bears and it all ends in a challenge within a chocolate river where you press buttons to get to the other side while evading lazy-eyed chocolate dinosaurs who hock the same bubble-type projectiles as the other enemies in the level. Astounded by your bravery, it leads to the conclusion of the level.

One thing I should note is that Mark Chang is not present in the level, though he does appear in the tutorial. Since they become friends much later in the show, I think Mark exists solely to help Timmy become acquainted with the kinds of enemies he'll encounter in the rest of the game. A true friend indeed.

Bad Luck 101

Last of the main levels, and the second to last level overall. Timmy has to go to school on a Saturday due to Vicky having extra classes that day. After the "classic" one getting splashed on by a passing vehicle, Vicky wishes that Timmy had her bad luck for the day, leading to our antagonists for the level, the anti-fairies (and no, Anti-Cosmo/Wanda don't appear in this level, it would be ideal but no, they were starting to kick back at this point).

There's actually plenty to cover here. Timmy's bad luck causes wrecking balls to crash through the halls creating a ridiculous obstacle to overcome, later you encounter evil trashcans that move in a similar pattern to the wrecking balls and you also encounter falling books (the only interesting aspect I could point out for the books is the sound some make when you get too close.) The main objective is to stop Crocker who's also present, and him discovering the anti-fairies would help him prove their existence. Okay, that actually makes sense, maybe that's where they make up for the lazy villain choice on the anti-fairy front.)

Your first wish leads to your prime mechanism of capturing anti-fairies. Remember that final aspect of the last segment in Chinless Blunder? It's back with a vengeance. You have to keep the cursor in the center for a certain amount of time before the clock runs out. Three times, one for each anti-fairy. This isn't hard, and I can't call this tedious since these are spaced far out. Later you encounter Crocker, first while you round up more wish stars with him walking around. You get your next wish, springy shoes which are exclusive to a certain segment in the level.

Your next encounter with Crocker leads to you having to stand in the right place at the right time as he pops out from whatever's against the wall. This leads to your next wish, rocket boots, which are used even less than the spring shoes. It all leads up to one more explorative section where you catch the last anti-fairy, but we're not done yet.

You later find Crocker's lair and while you try to find a way out, you put the anti-fairies into Crocker's fairy hunting van, then you round it off by sending the fairies to Vicky.

Interestingly, characters that didn't make the cut are displayed in portraits throughout the school. Principal Waxoplax, that other teacher that appeared in Crocker's first appearance, the bus driver and the lunch lady.

The "Ultimate" Challenge

The home stretch. You had rounded up all of the missing pages of Da Rules, except for one, the table of contents, which allows Vicky a shred of power for influence. She is turned into a dragon for a pointless sense of challenge. So what do you do here? Wait for a moment until she strikes a certain area? Shoot at her at the right moment? No, you wait on a tile as she flies toward you and then you get out of the way so she could hit it. The point is that you need to hit a series of tiles in a right order to get Vicky to wish she never took Da Rules from Timmy. Points for making sense and going with a similar method of resolution in other episodes, but this holds the same level of quality as the other levels, as in the super-linear ones. How bad could this be? Beyond the wrong sequence, there're only two wrong tiles, and common sense will help lead you away from those.

So what's your prize for winning? Just a traditional FOP ending. Suitable for the show, and fitting for an otherwise bland game.

Graphics

So as you could gather, the gameplay isn't very good. But there was one aspect that proved to be objectively good, and that's the graphics. The game utilizes cel-shaded graphics and backgrounds that hold the same visual style as what's used on the show. This allowed Blitz Games to win an award at a technology festival in their native country. While the graphics capture the show, the animation is hit or miss for me. Sometimes the characters hold the wrong expression due to them using a preset one. Other times, characters rarely change their expression, Vicky, Jorgen Von Strangle, the Judge and Tootie and the Squirrelly Scouts are the most notable offenders. Pay close attention to the dialogue and tone of voice and you'll understand why.

Music

The music is identical to what you may hear on the show, and it certainly fits the theme of the levels they're played in. But at the same time it isn't that memorable. It's really up to you what tracks you'd prefer if you played this growing up. Personally, the tutorial level's music is the best track in the game.

Sound Quality

Had to give this its own section because it warrants it. For some reason, the sound quality isn't very good. It sounds a bit muffled for some reason. Maybe this was an oversight on Blitz's part?

Overall

All this game had was its immense faithfulness to the show, and it's clear that it either took heavy precedence over making an above average game, or they just snagged the license to make a quick buck. It's like they wanted to make a bunch of interactive Fairly Odd Parents episodes, but it takes so long for stuff to happen that it would've been better to just wing it. It worked well for other Nickelodeon games.

Once Shadow Showdown hit the scene, this game was rendered obsolete since that game improved on this one in all the key aspects. For one, you could skip cutscenes easily by pausing and clicking the option saying to do so, you have more abilities pre-wishing, once you unlock the wishes you could pick any one of them you want. There's a greater reward for exploration since there're lots of extras you could unlock, you could go back to older areas with different wishes to get whatever you missed, there's more effort put into the animation and expressions, even the bosses are a bit more challenging, there's a boss for every level, the hud still sucks but it doesn't give a false sense of hope for exploration, the story is a bit more interesting- HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS BETTER THAN BRREAKIN' DA RULES IN EVERY ASPECT!

The point is, Blitz sacked up and made much better Nickelodeon games, pre-Kinnect era though, so perhaps this game was merely a test to see how well they could recreate the design of Fairly Odd Parents in 3D, and honestly, that worked pretty well. Only problem is that they promised a game, and the rest is history.

The Secret of NIMH 2 review

I work as a plumber (drains, not pipe assembly.), so naturally I'm exposed to foul odors five days out of the week every week. As a result of that, I've developed a tolerance for sewage related odors, and you'd think I'd naturally tolerate anything that smells bad. Well, there're bad scents I can't stand, whether they be rotten fish, wet dogs, anything of that sort.

You're probably wondering why I'm starting off like this? Look at it like this, when you compare what I said to movies/shows I watch, the sewage is a familiar scent to me, hence I'm familiar with the worst aspects of most shows/movies. I'm more tolerant of them than others. When it comes to the scents I hate, they're movies/shows that I have absolutely no love for, I'm more than happy to crap on them until someone makes a fleeting reference to me on Kiwi Farms.

The Secret of NIMH 2 is like the combined odors of an apartment complex in Flushing, mixed with a basement to a fish market and with the texture of the crap you'd find in a Chinese restaurant's grease trap. (it takes a man to work with shit.)

Personal Background

I'm just going to be upfront with this, the only reason I know about this film is because of the Nostalgia Critic. Bear in mind that I saw the review well before the show went from mediocre to pure shit. The reason I bring him up is because while I'm against his method of reviewing, I'll admit, it did give me what equaled a decent experience of the more important aspects of what was covered. I saw enough to make my own judgment. I'm also someone who's able to catch what amounts to a soulless cash grab, and this one is enough to make me want to go on a Wii shovelware marathon.

Much like how I don't want to look at EZ PZ's obnoxious video thumbnail, I don't want to stare at this movie's images every time I'm on my phone.

Background

I don't have much info on this film, but it does support a theory I have. The film was made to cash in on the popularity of the original film.

I haven't seen the original film, beyond some bits and pieces, but you don't have to have seen the original film to know just how bad this film is. It's bad whether you love the original film or not, a bad film is a bad film (and the Nostalgia Critic clued me in on the more crucial continuity fuckups for the record.) The film was directed by Dick Seabast, who's work is rooted in television animation, though he also has experience as an animator at Disney since 1972. Beyond some involvement in multiple positions on Rover Dangerfield, working on the animation for The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and a writing credit on The Rescuers, this is really his only major production, at least as a director. Points for going with someone who has experience in the animation industry, but that's like producing a Metallica album and using trash cans for drums.

Another aspect that's interesting (to me, I doubt anyone else is as anal about production trivia as me) is that the writers for it are Paul Sabella and Jonathan Dern. If you don't know who they are, beyond some involvement in some movies related to the Bratz line of figures, they were the headliners for My Little Pony, generation 3, which is apparently the lowest point in the history of My Little Pony, not that I would know.

It's also fair to note that Metro Goldwyn Mayer was behind this. Okay, they distributed the first, but it seems that MGM is always attached to the craziest of films. They were the last distributors who signed on to distribute Clownhouse, the directorial debut of Victor Salva, who molested one of the lead actors and is still working to this day. They also would've distributed Freaky Flickers had the film been completed.

This would've been far more interesting.

Premise

I won't go over the entire premise because honestly, it isn't that interesting. Instead I'll offer insight on the more interesting aspects. The people behind this film didn't care that much, why should I give them the satisfaction.

For starters, the film opens with a summary section, fair enough, it'll help bring viewers up to speed, but it's at this point things begin to turn. It goes over Jonathan Brisby, but more or less writes off Ms. Brisby as less than an understudy. Okay the point is her actions aren't the focal point as far as I know, real bold since she's the star of the first film.

Here's a summary of the opening, done through the power of Wikipedia.

"The film begins with a prophecy from the first film, telling how one of Jonathan and Mrs. Brisby's sons would save Thorn Valley from "the secret of NIMH". Timothy is chosen to go, but his older brother Martin believes he should have been the one chosen. Martin decides to prove his quality, and goes off to find his own adventure."

Don't you just feel the life emanating from that paragraph? Come to think of it, not even a plot summary on Wikipedia could do this film justice. To demonstrate, right after that paragraph it goes into the main character encountering someone who doesn't appear until later in the film, even though a bunch of stuff happens before then.

Speaking of, who's the star of this film you ask? To further support my theory that this is just a soulless cash grab, the star of the film was a very minor character in the first film who spent most of it ill. He was a plot device in the first, and that's what his character amounted to there. I say this because he has no personality beyond what you'd find in some adventure fodder. Are you feeling excited?

A bulk of the film centers on foreshadowing and character building, blatant and dull respectively. Timmy's brother Martin is jealous that the former was chosen to help stop NIMH, take a wild guess what happens to Martin, I mean really think about it. I'd say this is taking the piss out of The Phantom Menace, but that came out in 1999, this came out in late-1998. Points for being the first but the overall lack of subtlety is keeping you in negative numbers.

How dull is the character building? Timmy mopes about how he'll never be like his father who died well before being fully established in the first film (hell, all he was was a friend of Mr. Ages, that's as much as the first film summary will give on the guy). I know this has been mentioned in other reviews, but how could it not? Timmy can't sing. At all, and as he gets older he still can't sing. Pro-tip, most films that involve singing switch out the characters' actors with musicians or actors capable of singing.

From there, not a lot happens that's noteworthy. It isn't until the villain is established that the film goes off the rails. You could say I'm going by the Nostalgia Critic's review too much, but if I was I'd go over the scene involving Jeremy, which amounts to a temporary lack of transport to NIMH.

Timmy and a generic love interest, (yeah I know her name but she's more or less along for the ride and exists solely to further the plot, but even then not by much.) reach NIMH, where the workers have been turned into dogs. Blame was previously put on a mad doctor (because that's in style), but it turns out that the real villain is Martin, where the aforementioned doctor caught and made him insane. I'll admit, this is one of the better character turns. I dunno why, I guess I'm a sucker for character turns where one is driven to evil due to jealousy, or something like that.

Anyway, shit happens, Timmy and the others escape and Martin is taken and later rehabilitated. And what better way to round off the film than a statue made in the name of shameless cash grabs.

Animation

Given that this was a direct-to-video release, I didn't expect award winning animation. The animation in this is... okay. It's as good as it needs to be, it gets the job done, it's the least harmful aspect of this film, aside from the acting I guess. The original film had better animation, but that's a given since it had Don Bluth at the helm. When you're pitted against one of the better regarded animators of course he would do better than you.

While the animation itself is okay, the overall design is iffy. It does keep with the overall look of the original, but it just looks bland.

Acting

This film does have some recognizable actors... from years ago. Yeah par the course for D2V movies, we got plenty of familiar voices from familiar shitbombs. We have the Karate Kid (the original) Ralph Macchio as the grown up Timmy (the rest aren't known), Hynden Walch joins as the token girl, adding to a roster of unfortunate roles in her resume (seriously, with Adventure Time, Teen Titans and Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time on her resume, I hope she's getting some good paychecks out of this)

William H. Macy is in this as well, I'm only bringing him up because it was around this time he became tied to numerous stinkers. We also got the second voice of Arnold from Hey Arnold! as the first voice of Martin, and for his second voice, the voice of Fievel Mousekewitz from An American Tail, one of the few Don Bluth connections that's harmless. Eric Idle's in this too, I'd say Burn Hollywood Burn brought him to this, but that film also came out in a later year.

Interestingly, Dom DeLuise reprises his role as Jeremy, but this is marred by the fact that Dom has lent his voice to many obscure shit animated films. I don't think his kidneys killed him, I think it was the unholy dollar. Peter MacNichol does the narration, and interesting fact, both Dom and Peter were in Baby Geniuses. I will say this, they got a decent replacement for Ms. Brisby. Who knew that the voice of Meryl from Metal Gear Solid could pull off an okay Elizabeth Hartman?

Overall

The Secret of NIMH is based on a book written by Robert C. O'Brien, and for the most part does it justice. The Secret of NIMH 2 feels like it was based on a fan fiction, where the author seemed to love Timmy a little too much, paired him with their OC and just winged it. I'm tolerant when it comes to shit movies and shows. This movie did to me what depression did to every big YouTuber ever. As a sequel to The Secret of NIMH it sucks because beyond having familiar characters it fails to hold the same charm as the first. As a lone entry it doesn't work because it doesn't even have its own charm. It hits every note in every generic adventure flick possible, plus bland characterization.

According to IMDb, Don Bluth had some ideas on how he wanted to make the film, and I doubt it'd be much better. Apparently the biggest change he would make is reversing the roles of Timmy and Martin. I would say proper directing would save this film, but it was at this time that Bluth was kicking back on quality flicks. He was brought on to produce the sequel (production began as early as 1995, but he and his team left to work on Anastasia. Whether that's for better or worse is up to speculation.

The trivia section also takes the piss out of this film by pointing out that Timmy's only significance in the first was giving a single line of dialogue.

To close off, the film is officially non-cannon. Let's call this a fever dream Timmy had while Ms. Brisby went to save them. A crazy, crazy, stupid dream.

False Memory Confessional (spoilers)

Let's not kid ourselves here, we're all victims to false memories, even when it comes to movies. We catch things when we're young, but when we revisit them, chances are they'll be much different than you'd remember, whether it be things looking different, scenes occurring differently (possibly due to you not paying attention to the full scene) or a stark tonal difference. I'm going to go over my personal biggest false cinematic memories, ranging from least to most different.

!!!Spoiler Warning!!!

Honorable Mention: Nightmare on Elm Street 5

This doesn't come from the movie itself, but rather the beginning. I remember watching this film on television and seeing a drastically different opening logo. I knew it was for New Line Cinema, but the one I recall was drastically different. It had an ovular iris leading to a red/yellow/blue background with filmstrips flying by. Since the latter is part of the logo that does appear on the film, I guess I did see the real New Line logo and just didn't realize it.

There's Something About Mary

Starting off with the least different. This centers on the scene where Ben Stiller's character gets his testicles caught in his zipper. I saw it up to the last few seconds before he's loaded onto a gurney. This is lower because I knew the context. My parents actually told me what happened. I caught the film right at the scene so I had zero awareness of what kind of film it was. I'd go on, but I have enough common sense not to dispel damning personal information.

I remember the character.

Summer of Sam

Another small offender. I knew the context and when I saw it again, it played out similarly to how I remember it, but not by much. This was the scene where Berkowitz encounters the black dog. What I missed was the entirety of the dog's dialogue, and the cheesy atmosphere. I remember it being a lot creepier when I first saw it, but then again I was young and the film wasn't even a decade old by then.

Kill!

Arachnophobia

I saw this movie at the wrong age. I know it's retarded, but this movie actually gave me arachnophobia. Look at it like this, there're spiders that could kill you, I don't feel too bad about admitting it. Anyway, at the time I was in the dark about the more comedic aspects of this comedy thriller. I didn't see John Goodman nor did I pay attention to the way the dialogue was given, but one scene stuck in my head for some reason, the scene where Sam Metcalf dies. Like the previous ones, I knew the context, but the way I remembered it was much different. At first I thought that Sam's death caught his wife by surprise and that she called Jeff Daniels' character right from there, but when I watch the scene again, Sam actually walks her through on what to do, also the dialogue.

Spider Man (2002)

Right off the bat, I just wanna say that I love Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, even more to this day. It was one of the earliest movies I recall seeing in theaters. Now where do my false memories lie with this one? Well, the false memories lie not in what happened, but what I missed. For what happened, I remember most of the scenes looking different visually (namely the spider that bit Peter Parker), and that covers that.

I want to get into the fact that there're scenes that I had no idea were in the movie to begin with. For starters, in the lunchroom scene, there was a huge gap between Peter eating and him finding the fork stuck to his wrist. I didn't recall the part where Mary Jane slipped and Peter caught her. While we're on this, at first I thought Peter was caught off by spider webs, I missed the fork part, as well as the fight with Flash Thompson.

I also missed a chunk of the first scene with the Green Goblin where he killed the people on the balcony (though to be fair I was young at the time and I wound up dodging a mental bullet.) Strangely, I remember the scene where Norman Osborne transforms into the Green Goblin, but I missed the dialogue. Whatever the case it kept the same effect.

Another aspect I missed was parts of the scene with the bridge. I completely missed the part where the New Yorkers threw garbage at Gobbie. To close off, I missed chunks of the final fight with Gobbie and Spider-Man, and I misinterpreted the former's final moment. At first I thought the Green Goblin died the moment he revealed his true identity. I completely missed the moments right after.

Secret Window

Here's where I have the most false memories. Bear with me, because there're so many false memories that I have to bullet-point them.

• First up there's the opening logo. I remember the opening sequence, but the opening logo really caught me by surprise. The Columbia Pictures logo appears at the start, but when I first saw it, for some reason I recall seeing a logo for a company that has been defunct for over a decade. Vestron Pictures. Don't ask me how I thought that up.
• Next there's the character John Shooter. The only thing I didn't recall was the fact that he had a thick southern accent.
• Then there's the scene where Johnny Depp's character talks to himself. I recall him throwing something at the wall, but at first I thought he threw something at a mirror while talking to a reflection of Shooter. Depp does see Shooter in the mirror, but that's not the case with what I told you.
• Referring back to the previous bullet, here's my silliest misconception. There's a brief instance where we go into the foundation of Shooter. Johnny Depp's at a yard sale and dons Shooter's cap while talking to a mirror. Sounds simple enough, but I... I thought it was a black guy talking into the mirror. Part of my misconception is that Charles S. Dutton was in the movie, and I thought his character conspired against Depp. Yeah, it's a retarded misconception, save it.
• To conclude, I also completely missed the foundation of the plot. I blame this on me reading the plot summary on Wikipedia. I had no idea about the divorce aspect, which was crucial to Depp's actions later on in the movie and again referring to the foundation of Shooter.

To conclude, go back to movies you saw as a kid, and tell me if anything turns out to be much different than you remember.

Curious George Learns Phonics review

I have an excuse. I played this as a kid, like many of the PC games I cover on here.

Personal Background

Like many of the PC games you see me cover, I have played these at one point in my childhood. I actually had a hard time trying to find this one, because for the longest time no footage of it has surfaced on YouTube.

Game Background

At some point, you've either read or heard of Curious George. Curious George is a series of books centered on a monkey who explores the world around him and learns how things works. There's a lot to this world, so naturally the writers would have plenty to gear out. I've read a couple of books, remember one the most vividly, heard of the movie adaptation which actually got better reviews than other adaptations of other media, saw a few episodes of an ensuing TV series and that kept with the spirit of the books, and I played this game.

The game was developed by Houghton Mifflin Interactive, a publishing subsidiary of the book publisher Houghton Mifflin, the principal publisher of the Curios George books. It was developed by Vipah Interactive, who not only worked on additional Curious George games, but if casual research is anything to go by, they worked on the art design for Curious George books from the period. With a pairing like this, you'd think this game would be good, right?

Well yeah, but when you get to a certain age its intended novelty wears thin.

Gameplay

The game is set at the circus, with six attractions to choose from. Now you're probably wondering about that title. Yep, it's an educational game, hence that novelty factor. I won't judge the game based on the quality of its mini games, but its overall educational value and intuitive nature.

Comedy Clowns

The comedy clowns are a group of pairs of clowns that tell jokes. They get mixed up thanks to George and we have to get them paired with the right clown. The mechanic behind this game is more or less the same as others. In order to find the right clown, we have to click on the clown holding a picture. The narrator states we have to find a picture that begins with or ends with a certain letter. Find the right one, and you're rewarded with a joke, and since this is a children's game, the jokes are puns.

These jokes are only funny to one kind of person. One kind of person from a certain kind of cheap looking show where archetypes take heavy precedence over proper characterization. One person-

Fuck me, I can't escape from this damn show, can I?

Fun House

You drag letters onto a sign to spell out a word representing a picture above. There's a bit of a challenge involved since the letter choices don't stay up forever, but there isn't that good of a payoff. Just a high-score at the end.

Sammy the Seal

What's a circus without a horn blowing seal? Problem is that the horns are broken and the only way to get them to work is to drag pictures to them, but be careful, those pictures need to have a certain vowel. For your troubles, you get to play along to a stock track, but you only get to add silly sound effects if you decide to join in. I do feel more rewarded for completing this than with Fun House though.

Animal Acrobats

All you have to do is click on one of three animals holding a picture of something that rhymes with a picture hanging above. On the upside, you get a performance at the end, consisting of the same animals you encounter in the game, so there is some sense of accomplishment to be had, both educationally and play-wise.

Peanut Pickup

Essentially a Pac-Man clone. I figured they'd throw this in as a little diversion, but nope that's not how Vipah slithers. You get to round up peanuts, but you have to look for vendors carrying balloons containing pictures of things that start with a certain letter. Do this twice and the round's over. You don't even have to collect all of the peanuts in this.

Story Theatre

The closest thing we have to a diversion. You get to choose from ten different stories. Each of them are harmless, some containing some morals, but at least the antagonist doesn't die to push a cockamamy moral. I only recall going through two of them. They're fine by little kid standards, and they don't suck to defy that.

On the upside, you could just read the stories. The educational aspect seems to be optional. Basically, you click on a flashing icon and then you have to find words that rhyme with a stated word or words that begin with the same letter. This sounds a bit annoying, but as I said you don't have to do this.

Overall Educationalness

Phonics is one of the simplest lessons one has to endure. The game went about this fairly well, I couldn't imagine a better way to do it honestly. But there is one serious strike against it, and that's the punishment for getting a wrong answer. If you slip up, the game not only scolds you, but forces you to listen to a hint before you try again. It makes you feel like an idiot who can't figure out your own mistakes. I don't know who this was aimed for, but it had to be for someone who's at that age where you have to be receptive.

My only other complaint is the over-abundance of educational games. Now sure, you need plenty of educational games, but you'd also need a break. Branch out and include some excursions, some personal rewards for your troubles. Even Sonic's Schoolhouse had these luxuries.

What do you get for all of your troubles? A printable certificate detailing your overall accuracy in the games you played. If you used this as your principal means of teaching your child phonics, I guess this would be a good way to determine how well they've done.

Graphics

As I've said before, this game shares the same principal design used in Curious George books from the period. For a game released at the start of the late-90s, it runs pretty well, save for some occasional choppiness. The character design looks nice and simple, it has a good use of color, geez that's a crazy way of saying the game looks easy on the eyes.

Voice Work

By PC game standards, the acting isn't too bad, but there is one thing I'd like to point out. During most of the games, whenever the vowel used in the game is said, it's represented through a text-to-speech voice. It's funny because a transition to it occurs while the narrator speaks. Imagine going from hearing Kevin Michael Richardson to Samuel L. Jackson in a matter of seconds.

Music

The music isn't too bad either. It compliments each level, but it's ultimately nothing I'd write home about. The only track I don't like is the Fun House one. It's a mess, and appropriate since I'd consider that to be my least favorite level.

Overall

Curious George is a simple pleasure, and it's worth a try if you love that monkey with all your might. As an educational game, I guess it works, it gets right to the point with what it intends to teach. I'd say it's forgettable at best, but since Curious George is so well-recognized, I doubt this game would leave your consciousness so easily.

My Life Me review

I don't know about you, but I really hate anime-inspired shows. To me, unless they're supposed to go with the plot of a series, it just tells me that they wasted money on the visuals and gave fuck all to the rest. But I do have some personal exceptions. The Boondocks' art style mostly resembles what was in the original comic strips, and it obviously has its own endearing charm. Kappa Mikey actually did something really original with it, done to differentiate American characters from Japanese ones, but where does today's show stand?

My Life Me is a Canadian-French animated series that aired between 2010 and 2011. It was created by Svetlana Chmakova, a Russian-born Canadian comic artist. Given her roots in the comic genre, it makes perfect sense why she'd go for such a detail-oriented style. Per familiar actors or companies, this show has little to none, unless you count that Justin Bradley, one of the voices of Arthur (from the eponymous show) and a prominent actor in Canada, lent his voice to one of the main characters.

The show aired on Teletoon (its French network included), which makes sense since Teletoon is used as a dumping ground for various types of cartoons. They throw anything at the wall to see if it sticks, and very few have stuck on the wall. While the show started in 2010 in France, in Canada, the show lasted throughout September for around 25 days. It has no DVD release, at least one that I know of, and English-language prints are rare on television.

=====================

You hyped?

In its prime, what did people think of it? Well, during the time it aired it got a lot of unfavorable attention from 4Chan due to its anime aesthetic, it currently has a 3.1 on IMDb (but to show how useless that site is, the only genuine review is a 7/10 review. The others are by someone who hates anime, and Tommypezmaster. If you don't know who the latter is, just keep it that way. But in the end, the show was just unremarkable, and the only thing people saw for it was an easily exploitable manga making program. It was popular in Malaysia, Mexico and France, they didn't have the same kind of people who ejaculate to morals surely.

The show actually became lost for some time when it stopped airing cold turkey in 2015, okay not lost lost, but not every episode was available, at least in English. Until recently. All of the episodes have been found and are available for your viewing pleasure. I have seen a few and overall... it wasn't that bad.

Plot

The series centers on a quartet of teenagers who're paired together per a social construct (a "pod" as the series likes to put it.) Par the course for many tween/teen shows, these teens are radically different socially. First up is Birch Small, a manga and art enthusiast who may or may not be a stand in for the show's creator. She's not noteworthy, but she has enough flaws to keep her from being a slice of plain bread, okay at the very least she has something going toward her character.

Next is Sandra Le Blanc, a skateboarding enthusiast who resents the more geeky counterparts of her pod, and tends to be super sarcastic. Okay, I'm down with that, we all need sarcasm in our lives, and she doesn't hold back. Third is Liam, the token awkward geeky guy who tends to be headstrong when things seemingly play in his favor. Fair enough. Finally, there's Raffi, the token love interest of Birch, and one without much of a personality. He's the pretty boy of the series, do I really need to further summarize his character?

The framework of each episode is pretty basic, it's generally set in school and the issue of the day tends to affect one of the four. I wouldn't call this a super-original idea for a teen oriented cartoon but to each their own. At the very least, I could make it through an episode in a straight shot. Doesn't matter how by the numbers your framework is, just as long as you could watch it.

Animation

Now, given how anime-inspired this show is, you'd think they'd work in tropes related to anime, and you'd be right. Characters would sprout cat ears and tails to represent their inner evil, there're sweat drops and of course, chibi galore. This also happened in shows like Teen Titans and Avatar, but this show honestly does it better.

Think about it, both Avatar and Teen Titans are uber-serious shows and those anime tropes sorta kill the mood, making each show look tone-deaf. In My Life Me, it's a comedy that's rooted in manga and anime, the animators would be fools not to exploit it. It seems like a form of epic trolling to show just how repetitive anime could be with their worst aspects, which would explain why people would shit on this show.

Given that this show was made in the early-2010s, obviously it would use flash animation. The show manages to kinda stand out from the others by using a more sophisticated art style, and by sophisticated. While the animation is obviously subpar as a result, the art direction is better, hell, they went all out and copied the basic anime eye design (unlike Teen Titans and Avatar where most people look like they're on the verge of going into cardiac arrest.)

Acting

As said early on, this series has little familiar actors. One of the only familiar actors I could trace is Justin Bradley, who has appeared in episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark and previously voiced Buster. Birch is voiced by Sarah Camacho, who hasn't been active in Canada since this show and has pursued more acting jobs in Mexico. Only other notable thing she's tied to is Winx Club.

Stefanie Buxton voiced Sandra and her latest role in anything was in 2017. She appeared in an obscure TV adaptation of The Never-ending Story and an episode of Big Wolf on Campus, as well as an obscure MTV show (which was her debut). Finally, Mark Hauser seems to be the only one who's still active, with a credited 2018 role. Like Sarah Camacho, Mark lent his talents to a Winx Club related property.

Now, you're probably wondering why I'm focusing on the actors rather than the acting. Well it's simple, I really have nothing to say about it. The acting is serviceable, the voices fit the characters, what more could be said?

Overall

I think some anime purist got butt-hurt over a show that indirectly mocked the worst aspects of anime, now people hate it for some reason. In the end, per a non-Japan anime fix, I'd gladly take this over Teen Titans and Avatar, at least this doesn't abuse art design just to look more presentable than it has any right to be.

Thoughts on the EZ PZ Situation

Either this or EZ's thumbnail for the video in question.

To give you a refresher, a former member of the animation industry recently took part in an interview with YouTuber EZ PZ. Given that the guy's an active critic of the animation community, EZ had no reservations in talking about the more... lurid details. Those include Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch fucking a shit ton of women, general hiring procedures that amount to head creators hiring personal friends and something about a women's union that has a connection to some cartoon created by a streaming service. The video is down below.

I watched the video, and I'll admit, I gave it a like. I always anticipate hearing some interesting gossip, mostly because I'm hungry for validation in my ridiculous opinions. There was an obvious red flag in the video, where we just had to take everything EZ presented at face value, which I could accept, had it not been for the fact that damning allegations were presented. EZ needs to take some tips from Mister Metokur, he brings up damning info in his lolcow exposes, but he more often than not provides evidence to prove it, and if he can't, he tells his viewers outright.

A few days later, after watching a video discussing Turkey Tom, I was directed to a trailer for a video by the same user. Given the title, I figured the video would be in agreement with EZ PZ and would be an expose on Alex Hirsch, but that turned out to be bullshit. So far, two people have responded to EZ PZ's video, to my knowledge.

Once you get past the "Evidence fucker" mentality, you'd be shocked to find that info presented against the blacklisted individual is far more shocking, shocking in that it's backed by facts.

The guy in question, Luke Weber, accused Alex Hirsch of sleeping with and giving various women STDs. Apparently, Weber wound up losing a girl he had a crush on to Hirsch and you could see where this is heading. He also got fired from Steven Universe due to him drawing a comic where he and Pearl fuck (at least he didn't want to fuck Rebecca Sugar, but that's beyond the point.), then there's the fact that he's allegedly schizophrenic, and people found it hard to work with him (especially since the animation industry is reliant on large numbered groups). The fact that this made a lot more sense than the allegations Weber brought up really says numbers.

Seems as though Weber wasn't blacklisted, people just didn't want to be anywhere near him. If he was blacklisted, why would he want to be anonymous (unless it was to avoid potential harassment)? He'd have nothing to lose in giving this information out, and any harassment would validate his points. I say this because I know of people who were blacklisted who spoke out and haven't been hunted to death. First, James Woods, Hollywood wants little to do with him because of his ultra conservative views and Trump support. For a while, that didn't stop him from posting pro-Trump stuff on his Twitter (until he got suspended for it), nor did it stop him from getting some television roles here and there. There's also Jon Voight, a straighter arrow than Woods, he made it no secret he got blacklisted and even did an interview (on Fox News, but that's beyond the point), full body and all.

Now this leaves another question, why the hell would EZ take what the guy said at face value, at least enough to make a video out of it? Well, given his backlog of videos related to cartoons, I think he was seeking validation for hating certain shows. It's no secret EZ is not a big fan of Steven Universe (I'm not either), so when Weber brought up stuff related to the show, a lightbulb went off in his head and he pounced on the news, hoping to get more people on his side and validate negative opinions he has on the animation community. As a consequence, we got allegations that's so egregious that Christine Blasey Ford would've used them on Bret Kavanaugh.

EZ PZ is the kind of person who views anything damning as a golden opportunity to push a personal narrative. He's the same guy who was so desperate to get dirt on Enter he considered doxing him for some juicy details.

Where do I stand on everyone else involved? If the allegations would've been true, if the sexual encounters were consensual, there wouldn't be an issue. The way Weber went about the whole thing seems more like a revenge fantasy for someone who got his date shafted by a more popular guy, with the lesser man envisioning his one-sided rival as an embellished womanizer, and that Weber is, internet wise, a "nice guy."

To sum up everything. EZ PZ, you're obviously hungry for credible dirt against the animation community, Weber, you're probably an incel in the making, Alex Hirsch, since Gravity Falls ended, its fandom hasn't become as toxic as other shows so I have nothing against you. Guy who made that second video I linked, I... guess you're better than EZ PZ?