Preface
Not too long ago, I made a brief essay regarding a Hey Arnold! character I didn't like, it being Rhonda. Let's face it, episodes centered around her are predictable once you figure out the patterns in them, she doesn't really learn anything and I question why she associates with the main gang when she is quick to make complaints about personal hinderances. This has been in the back of my mind for a while, and I've debated what Rhonda-centric episode I wanted to cover. After some consideration and honing in on the more positive aspects of many episodes, I found the perfect candidate.
Rhonda's Glasses is a blend between the typical rotten behavior of the character, mixed with a social political slant. The episode is a homage to Rosa Parks, and if you know the story behind it, save for race being the focal point, it's practically beat for beat. Personally, I'd consider this a hybrid of Rosa Parks and Melvin Van Peebles' Watermelon Man (basically about a racist white man becoming black and going through the turmoil African Americans experience.)
The stand-in for race is social status. Basically, if you're geeky (bonus points if you wear glasses), you're not allowed up front. Yeah, wasn't kidding about how obvious of a node to Rosa Parks this was. I'll give it this, our stand in for Parks is no better. I'd normally make a joke about how someone like Sheena or Eugene would be Parks, but the title pretty much gave it away. Apparently Rosa Parks was a snobbish pain in the ass who woke up black and decided to get some social cred back by starting an argument on the bus, why else would we get someone as suited as Rhonda? All else I could say about this scene is that it introduces animation's first transsexual (seriously, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, has a skirt but a lack of feminine features.), or maybe it's non-binary?
We got the Rosa Parks allegory out of the way, so what about the Watermelon Man one? Well, P.S. 118 is hosting an eye exam, Rhonda fails and has to wear glasses. It's a more realistic take on Watermelon Man, hold the racial slant. As you'd expect, Rhonda takes this incredibly poorly, and I take it we're supposed to feel sorry for her? Yeah I get it, it's hard being at the top, one time I had to wait an extra few to get my soy latte because the cashier had to break open a coin roll. My life partner had to talk me out of cutting vertically.
The next day, Rhonda gets a taste of her own medicine, and we're introduced to someone I'd like to dub, Strawma'am. I call her that not because she's forgettable, but because she was never given an actual name, at least to my knowledge. I'm referring to her as a strawman because the few times she speaks is when the writers want to make Rhonda look better by comparison. To better explain, she only spoke in this episode and Polishing Rhonda, both times when Rhonda was in eyeshot. Personally, I'm rooting for Strawma'am, for one she has better taste in shoes and goes about the social order better than Rhonda could ever hope to achieve.
Naturally, Rhonda goes through what the geeks go through, which include sitting at a table with a wobbly leg, getting routinely teased, not getting good quality kickballs and losing play areas. Rhonda also goes through some inconsistency. Apparently she was able to see fine in previous episodes, but now she can't do it as well. What is this? Karma? After a whole day (mind you, it was a rough day from the eyes of the snoot.), Rhonda decides to rally against the upper class and everyone laughs at the blatant irony- I mean they join her side. I have so much to say about this, but we're almost home, and we need as much context as we could.
It culminates in another exchange between Rhonda and the ma'am of straw. Throughout this, the strawma'am tries to keep things rational, heck, she implies that she didn't make the rule, she just followed what's established. Yada yada yada, Rhonda virtue signals her way into the hearts of the ignorant, nobody brings up her hypocrisy (come on, she's a regular character and nobody knows shit?) and Strawma'am probably got harassed to the point she had to switch schools or return under a new identity (hence her going from blonde to brunette for future appearances.)
But wait, it gets even better. The next day, Rhonda re-encounters the non-binary kid and glamorizes wearing glasses. Perhaps now she's sending the good looking to the back, she's already reverted back to her old self, to the delight of people who only saw the surface of the previous scene, and I hope next time she gets zits and freckles. But no, she just got contacts and resumed her reign of raping the snob trope, because like many bad renditions of this archetype, they have no self-awareness.
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I could live with Rhonda reverting to her old self even before the episode ends, but when you make an episode where she fights for equality, it's pretty damn ignorant. Having someone like Rhonda lecture someone on the treatment of lower social classes is like Rage Against the Machine lecturing people on corporate dominance (pro-tip, never sign to a major label if you want to follow in the footsteps of Rage, and don't originate out of Southern California either.), or if you want to be more in tune, think of an African American lecturing rich white people on the treatment of blacks in the ghetto, even though said lecturer lives in a gated community with a Rolls Royce, a Bentley and a Lamborghini in her garage. Why act like you care about the lower people when you're either not nor were you ever one of them.
You want to teach people about equal treatment? You want to allude to key historical moments? That's perfectly fine, its been done in the past and it's been done well, but it all comes crashing down when you use the wrong character to push your message. Rhonda was the worst possible character to use as our protagonist, all she did was whine and well, be herself. Come to think of it, I wouldn't be shocked if Rhonda implemented that geek check in the first place. She's the epitome of a safe-spacer (inviting people that never opposed you to a party.), she's selfish (caring more about her outfit even though she was playing a contact sport and sucking ass at bowling because, oh dear, nails will be broken), she sees most people as a means to an end (using Patty to help her graduate first at a polishing school because your own hubris led to a lie saying so.), among many other overlooked sins. You're probably wondering, well who else could've been the focus in this episode if Rhonda was apparently so awful?
Well, what about Eugene? In spite of his jinx and social standing, he's still confident and very extroverted. He could've killed the racial tension with kindness, showing that we're all human deep down (yeah I know, the inside that counts is becoming overdone.) Or what about Sheena? Her aunt was the nurse that caused Rhonda's internal suffering in the first place. Perhaps Sheena could show that even with glasses, people can still be cool and generally good people. Oh, excuse me, forgot the football-headed elephant in the room. Arnold had little to no presence in this episode. He could've set the record straight on the whole thing, and I mean get Rhonda to get off her high horse and actually try to improve and stick with it, while also putting an end to that asinine fashion rule.
You may be thinking that Rhonda was the sole reason this episode wasn't very good, but, I do have some other reason. It missed a good opportunity to properly talk about racism. People tend to herald Hey Arnold! as one of the few kids shows to touch upon real world issues, but at its core, it didn't reach that far. I don't know if it was because of network interference or pressure from activists, but many issues are narrowed down to issues that only vaguely resemble legitimate ones. They could've just as easily made an episode about racism, Static Shock did it and that came out not long after this.
I hate this episode because it watered down a legitimate social issue and put the focus on someone who instigated the issue in the first place. It's like a 4Kids dub in how ridiculous it is. Or hell, if we got all races to go to the back of the bus for wearing glasses or what not it may be even worse than basic racism, it'd be racism with a hint of bourgeoisie.
Obviously I'm not against nerdy people, heck I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to many things. For the physical appearances, sometimes things happen to our eyes and faces that are beyond our control. If we judge anyone based on looks alone, we might as well be alone for the rest of our lives. Heck, if I were in that episode I'd just go to the back of the bus on my own volition, no way would I give someone like Rhonda the satisfaction of silent support (then again, they may have issues with neckbeards and pedo-stashes.)
TL;DR, they had the wrong person stress a message of equality, and Hey Arnold! really chickened out on talking about a legitimate issue full stop.