LW+TA: Deadly Invasion: The Killer Bee Nightmare

 I was gonna do a review of The Ripping Friends, but I think a reason people don't talk about it is because they don't know how to talk about it. It has most of the worst of John K.'s trademarks, but somehow isn't as offensive to the senses as his other stuff, and weird thing is, I kinda like it. Think of it like the Games era of Ren and Stimpy, if John K. were Bob Camp. My hands are tied, guess I'll try focusing on another Fox property.

It's Tuesday night, you're either fending off the ghosts of fry-cooks with spatula hands, or you're in your living room, bowl of popcorn or whatever 90s snack on standby, watching Fox. Remember Fox Tuesday Night Movies? I wasn't born for it and I wouldn't know of Fox until time after.

I have actually seen movies from that point on Lifetime, such as Terror in the Family which had an early role from Hillary Swank if you could believe it, as well as one of two movies released related to the Menendez Brothers, the other on CBS. I think The Critic was trying to mock this but gave up halfway through for some shameless self-depreciation.

But anyhow, a thriller movie detailing a non-human threat, on October no less, the timing couldn't be better.

Tonight's Flick

Okay right off the bat, with a name calling attention to killer insects it'll either be played for laughs or cheesy enough to inspire some enjoyment. Killer bees are as the name implies, granted, but on their own, I imagine they wanted an action horror flick but had to deal with a budget that was lower than normal.

The film was helmed by Rockne S. O'Bannon. While he had kept to television, previously working as a story editor on the first revival of The Twilight Zone, he had also written for the cult film Alien Nation and directed the 1990 film Fear, which it seems some people like, at worst considering it disjointed. This was his only other directing role, and back then and through to this day he had stuck to writing ever since.

I wouldn't call this a career killer, O'Bannon had plenty of television gigs since then and his last movie was five years prior before this. Hell, a majority of the known actors here had plenty of other roles since then, well save for the daughter of one of the producers, but maybe she wasn't interested.

The film was produced by prominent producer duo Frank Von Zerneck and Robert Sertner. If you watched Lifetime or any of the major networks back in the 90s you'd have probably seen something of their's. While television films aren't fine art, they are at least enjoyable for whatever reason. While sticking to thrillers, disaster films and the like weren't a card out of their deck, I believe they once produced an earthquake disaster film with a recurring pattern of reviews; it was better than some theatrical film with a similar premise but people questioned the ethics of its being.

So, this movie will probably be cheesy, over the top and stupid at times, but I've come to expect that at this point. At the very least I hope a movie about evil bees won't be as dull as Night of the Twisters, full disclosure, somehow the cheap effects didn't make me laugh, rather it made me bored.

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We start with a narrative spiel detailing the introduction of killer bees in America. On one hand, it's actually accurate, killer bees were transported from Africa to Brazil in the 1950s, got loose, multiplied through breeding and spread gradually to North America, with a continuous one actually being plausible in real life. On the other hand, they're playing a story about killer bees straight. More power to them, but come on, that's too big of a risk.

Arachnophobia? Played for both scares and laughs, something I discovered a bit too late but whatever. Eight Legged Freaks? A homage to drive-in B movies with some obvious comedy. Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo? Okay this is probably a successor to that, but it seems that movie didn't take it as seriously, the opening theme was certainly happy enough about it.

I guess it would've been too much to ask to have the bees be introduced to radiation, but we would've either gotten cheap practical effects or a CG monstrosity that people would obsess over. I mean then again radiation making bees mad seems over the top, so they were just going for what they thought made the most sense.

They place importance on Texas and California, maybe due to their proximity toward Mexico which is within proximity of South America? In spite of their highlights and the film taking place in either, this movie was actually shot in north central Utah. This was the case for a majority of Fox's TV movies or at the very least Von Zerneck-Sertner movies. Not that I'm complaining, it's about time I see something beyond New York.

We start off 30 miles north of the Mexican border, so Calipatria then? It's funny I brought up Night of the Twisters because the first sign of human interaction here is a guy driving a car, talking on a CB radio. One thing I like about the cop is how little seriously he takes the job, or just cracks jokes. Hope no one got to attached to him there, because we need to demonstrate the extent of the threat.

I like how he isn't phased by the corpses inside, and I like how they don't frame the reveal as a jump scare. I also like how the reveal of the bees isn't some dramatic build-up. I respect any bad movie for not taking itself more serious than it needs to.

Let's get this out of the way, does this mean everyone is allergic to bees? One plus for this movie is that they specify the bees are killer bees. While not harmful as one, they attack in swarms and multiple hits tend to spell death. They manage to display that pretty well, though I question how long it takes to die from killer bee stings. It's something I'm not well-versed in, so... okay moving on.

We get some pretty nice scenery during the opening credits. I can forgive the shaky zooming, as this may be to represent the bees' perspective. I get the idea so I can't be too harsh on it, and my Calipatria comment may hold water since this takes place in a fictional California town.

After that we meet our main characters, and I'm not kidding when I say their names. We have a couple who's names are... Chad and Karen. This is coincidental by the way. I have an aunt named Karen and she's nice. How in the ground is the name Chad?

Anyhow, we start off mundane enough, the family is enjoying some breakfast, we get a neat gag where Chad and Karen find themselves talking to the wrong people on the phone, it caught me off-guard I'll admit. Another piece of subversion is when the teenage daughter is listening to a book on tape and not a rock and roll tape. Not to mention it looks like the son is going off on a motorcycle ride with his best friend, don't ask don't tell. But we come to our first cliche, them having moved to a new neighborhood and this taking a toll on the youngest daughter. I guess we can never be without at least one.

So far the dialog is what's keeping me interested, you can never guess what way one would describe something. When we see a crawlspace, does the term "mutant gophers" pop into your head? It seems like this is foreshadowing for something (the climax in Arachnophobia is wrought with the term wine cellar, but for now we get into the old favorite, mundane stuff before the action happens.

When going into implying the threat, at the very least they don't treat killer bees like a foreign threat, Chad just questions them being in the area. We hear about a wedding, and if nothing happens there, then this movie's a bust. I guess this is just to establish characters we need to care about, standard stuff. I've seen it enough times to not stress over it.

The youngest girl, Lucy, gets a pet bunny. I mean to be fair she's not a spoiled brat and was feeling sad about the move, this ain't a Cinar-scenario. However as someone who watched the first episode of The Outer Limits... don't get too attached to the pet.

I like how they reinforce that killer bees are't cold blooded killers, just more aggressive fighters. They build on more realistic stuff, though to be fair the over the top reactions put them in lower numbers, like the average crazy main trope.

But look, we have two dumbass teenagers on the road, are that about to sign their death warrants? It looks like the elder daughter dodged a bullet. The girl takes her top off, no further comment to avoid raising flags, and they're bound to face karma for causing a trucker to nearly crash. They do one clever thing, where as the two make out, they accidentially hit the horn, hence letting some nearby bees know something was up. They can nest anywhere they can't be bothered. Aside from some random cuts, I like how they don't just have them immediately freak out or notice due to where they prioritize their attention. I mean you can rarely feel a bug crawling on you.

I do gotta ask, why not run instead of driving and running the risk of a more fatal accident? You're basically asking to die at this point. I like how nonchalant they are about getting stung, but then again it beats being all over the top. They actually had build up with that truck stunt, where they get hit by a truck. Would've been interesting if it were the same truck, like he got really pissed off he nearly got killed.

It seems they recruited a professional bee-keeper here, we not only got a shit-ton of bees, but they are well tamed. No laughable CG tornadoes here. Hell, one plus to bees being here is that depending on the amount of stings, death wouldn't be immediate. They were still conscious before the truck hit them so it's easy to see why the father of whoever's mad about that. Also apparently Chad's a lawyer, maybe.

Unfortunately, they frame the bees as the culprit here for the sake of establishing the titular threat. The bees would've killed them time after the truck got them. I mean then again if you apply the fact they were driving to somehow get away from the bees then it'd make more sense. This is looking like an accidental death, all things considered.

Only thing interesting about the dead boy is that he was actually not a typical asshole, he let one of the lesser students talk to him and vice versa. Good subversion vs. bad subversion in, say, Revelations. They balance out the more stupid stuff with some appropriate reactions. I guess if you never give much thought to the more mundane areas of attack, you tend to slack on common sense. They claim soapy water is enough to sedate bees, while using it to get rid of a nest, so they have their facts down for now, especially for why people are reluctant to get rid of bees due to their requirements for pollination, as well as the fact that killer bees breed with normal ones.

They befriend another crazy who gets more exposure, but hey, I'm a sucker for more animated characters, especially one who pours honey on a burger. Of course we got the skeptic town official or whoever, but I feel they thought less of Jaws and more that crappy sequel to The Birds that came out a year before that no one talks about.

Funnily enough the most common thing I'm seeing here is facts about bees, but ironically it's not boring, at least to me. Maybe it's the fact they're poising something mundane as a big threat while keeping it relatively realistic, against something like Night of the Twisters where they make something more action-oriented boring as hell. This does get very repetitive though, don't get me wrong.

We get to that marriage, and thanks to a promo appearing at the start of the copy I found, things will get interesting again. The bees are already there and though attention is given to them, it's not as dramatic as you think. I like how the bees are chill enough to let the marriage go through uninterrupted. Then again they foreshadow the presence of the bees (though to be fair it could just be the normal non killer bees), and I like how Chad's worries with them is that they focused more on the flowers than the food quality, and it turns out he likes the first thing offered to him.

One fact that's implied rather than stated point blank is the bees reacting to loud noises. So far the wedding theme was somber and people were quiet enough, only for the disturbance to come with amplifier interference. That's some nice attention to detail. Interesting fact, one of the user reviewers of this movie happened to be in this. He is one of the guitar players in this, and he offered one of the nicer reviews. It's hard to be harsh to a movie you were in because you probably had a nice experience with it.

Needless to say, the wedding build up was worth it. I like how we get some over the top reactions from some grown men upon seeing the bees, maybe they're allergic. I mean then again we see the swarm or get an implication of one. Also I found out who Frank Von Zerneck's daughter plays. It's a bride to be, and to be fair she does an okay job.

They take refuge in a building, and referring back to my remark on The Birds, this makes it all the more clear this movie is going for a similar twist. Bees seem more plausible than birds as a threat, to be fair. I mean this movie has to be better than The Birds sequel, at least technically.  I mean this has no jump scares, most I got there were brief cuts to commercial breaks.

There was one thing that did make me jump in the movie, bee merchandise. Well, kids wearing head boppers themed around bees. I get that bees are a theme to the town, they have at least one school team with a bee themed mascot, along with the various bee farms.

Also, if you wanted proof this was shot in Utah, they have a news van listing call-signs for a Fox affiliate based there.

Anyway, news interviews, either I'm numb to it or this isn't as stupid as people would lead you to believe. The crazy bee man returns, this could be to fulfill another cliche, but, heh, I've seen School Gyrls. People are cracking down on avoiding future stings, and given their commonality and the ethics of killing bees in general, I guess this is the way to go, in terms of keeping things going.

At this point, little else happens. It's not getting boring, but I'd just be restating the same things again, just them preparing for the onslaught. Eight more minutes and I'll get further with this than I did with Night of the Twisters. Karen seems nervous about the bee situation, I'd say appropriately so but that should be taken with a grain of salt.

We get a nostalgic throwback with a fake news report pinning a reporter against a plain background, along with the boxed image relevant to the story clipping over the reporter's shoulder. But who cares about that? We also get amateur footage that looks like it was taken on 16mm which is somehow transferred to digital. Video cameras are the norm for personal excursion, and the crosshair you see only appears through the eye lens.

It's a nitpick, but how can I be mad about that? I can't even be mad about hearing the information I heard about bees again; a reminder, we first heard it from a guy during a conversation with the leads, and this is being repeated by a reporter to spread awareness through town. It's repetitive, but I guess it's appropriate, all things considered. One girl tries to break the fourth wall by bringing up the repetition... so there's that.

By the way, Karen's concerns were expected, but if you wanna shake things up, pretend that the kids will get in the way of libido.

The wine cellar tidbit worked in this movie's favor, as Chad agrees to plan it out. Apparently they run an orchard. We don't need any suspense beyond the sounds of the bees buzzing, though why would you stick your head out the window with bees in plain view? Is this another fourth wall break where he knows he can't die because he's a main character? Okay then again since they didn't make much of a noice they'd have no reason to attack Chad as a threat.

We're 46 minutes into this, and at this point I'm expecting a crazy climax. The son's friend is adorned with a rifle, I mean I can't be dumbfounded if I can tell this would happen. It's less dumb than the son was for questioning its purpose. At least Chad made it back home okay, so they avoided the whole car getting stuck then one guy going for help gets killed spiel.

But back to the rifle, if they shoot the bees it's stupid on principle. If they shoot the hives, it's stupid for the sake of getting the climax going. The friend, mad over the popular kids dying, shoots the hives, do the math. At this point only three people died, though to be fair an onslaught of stings would've killed people, especially if they were allergic. It's ballsy they made it this far with a low death count. And what do you know, both boys made it back to the house.

Okay, so they're all in the house, ballpark estimate we have 37 minutes left of runtime, end credits included, I'm kinda tempted to see what they do next. I'd say the most sensible reason for the bees to get in would be the crawlspace, or that's just the key to victory and shock of all shocks... they come in from reasonable entry ways, cracks at the bottoms of the doors, through the chimney, only acting because some jackass shot their hives hence seeing them as a threat...

Most stupid thing I've seen so far is bees interfering with phone lines, though if they can bust into... insert mechanism name here, they could do some damage, best case. Ironically, it is through phone lines that bees get damaged. They do give a good explanation for how bees can wind up in a dryer; it's those vents outside. I like how they addressed this, as if someone was gonna throw a tantrum for views.

I question their lack of total fear on the situation, but then again it beats over the top reactions, and there's the matter of whether or not anyone's allergic, and come on, who wants to get stung? I've been stung before, it's not a pleasant experience. Maybe it's as if they know this is a blase experience in real life and are just trying to keep cooler heads.

Also uh... rip the pet bunny. I knew this would happen, I just didn't know when....

Actually it's alive. No seriously, the bunny is shown to be alive on the couch. The cage being in the sun room was used as an excuse to get the young girl to go inside and get stung. I'd be mad about the contrivance, but I gotta give them props for subverting my expectations. As a bonus the girl lives too, but we still got the rest of the movie.

In the meantime, somebody ratted about the cause of all this and the father decides to rule out escape points, but that goes south... and he runs back inside. But now there's a reason to go back out, as the young daughter's allergic to bees and needs to be treated.

If the girl dies, it'd be kinda heartless she'd be among the rare casualties of the movie. If the lead dies... that'd be kinda clever for the sake of rubbing out a protagonist, but I hope he doesn't. Oh but they gotta go out, what's the logical thing to do? Go out with thick clothing to ensure the stingers don't land deep enough to cause damage. I guess the worst thing against this was inconsistency in earlier scenes, possibly here too. You know what? That's fine. It's one thing to take a stupid premise seriously, it's another to tackle on an over the top yet realistic premise seriously.

It's not that it doesn't make any sense, it's that it makes too much sense. The son goes to find a thicker jacket in the attic, before one says this is a stupid idea, there are vents that lead to the attic, like the one they came through just now. At least the son was quick enough and shut the door... I mean I'm sure he did, he came down calm enough and had the insight to close off entry ways.

It's approximately 25 minutes until the end of the movie, if you question why the bees are attacking Chad when they should be after the one who shot the nests, you're an idiot. They attack anything in their vicinity if they're agitated enough, especially against those who threaten their way of being. At the very least with the daughter in danger, there's a reason for conflict.

Chad's a real Chad for trying to drive a car full of bees. If he made it to the car in the first place, the cover up he had was definitely good enough to protect him. The son uses a soap and water gun to keep the bees at bay, this was established to be harmful to bees and hiving zones so fair game, and Chad is able to get his car started. He won't get far on foot, and at least it wasn't for nothing.

Things do get stupid at this point. I gotta ask, why was the friend just standing around like a dumbass when the son asked for more slack on the hose? Also, how can a door lock from the inside? A bedroom door that has the lock on the inside, and the door opens inward so the block at the bottom couldn't do much. And why would Chad remove his protection... outside!? I said I don't wanna get angry over stupid stuff, but various stupid moments one minute after another is a different pond altogether, everything else had been straightforward up to this point. There's raising the stakes naturally, then artificially.

Chad returns and uses a fire extinguisher to fend off the bees. For the most part I've been googling most of the more out there aspects of this movie to make sure this made sense. Funnily enough, there's actually a Quora post that addresses this. According to the top answer, the fire extinguisher may only aggravate the bees more or using it will just be time wasted, this applying to CO2 variants, which seems to be the one Chad uses.

Chad gives the girl multiple injections, and... according to healthline, if it's melatonin they're using, too much of it can disrupt sleep-wake cycles and make them prone to seizures, so... I think an allergic reaction would be the least of her problems! Okay but she is stabilized at the very least.

Also I'm assuming the son is dead now, the friend is certainly sad enough about it, or maybe it was because he's a reason they're in this mess. Actually it's just out of fear. I'd say he'd take that tidbit of his involvement to the grave, but it got out to at least one family member.

Okay either this'll be a big reveal or a surprise twist and the son is *drumroll here*

Actually still alive. How is this possible? He hid inside a full bathtub and breathed through a straw. I'd have assumed the bees got into the bathroom and there'd be a small window of time for him to fill it up, but you know what? I'll accept this. It would've been fucked up to let the son die in agony and they wouldn't find out until it was too late. This was technically the most plausible thing he could've done to avoid death. Water is heavier than air, so it can trap the bees if they aren't close to solid ground. It certainly made more sense than the other stuff.

So everyone in the house survives for now. They take refuge in the cellar, and now a question arises. What role with the crawlspace play here? Well it wasn't an entry way for the bees as they crawled in from the floorboards above. Yes, it's the way out. Fair enough, I had a feeling it would be. This was definitely a play on The Birds but all we need is fire and then we'll get a touch of Arachnophobia.

Okay so there's no fire, just suffocating the bees. I'm not sure if they're establishing a twist here, but we're in the final minutes, and it looks like Chad is gonna play noble sacrifice along with the friend. But first, here's something unintentionally hilarious. In certain points where commercial breaks play, we get the Fox Tuesday Night Movie bumper. At this point the bumper plays, and the bees are like "Duh!"

Also Chad goes for the sacrifice and sends the friend to the tunnel. He is a real Chad. So does this mean the entirety of the killer bees in this neck of the woods are in the house? I mean with how many there are I can assume. Also I have the feeling the bunny died off-screen, maybe. The family may get harmed and the father may die, but first, we gotta be reminded that this movie is brought to us by the Ford Escort, and that it's new.

This are both amping up and slowing to a crawl. There's like, what, five to six minutes left? I can't quit now. At least when I quit on Night of the Twisters I still had more of it to go and I wasn't interested in seeing the last.

It was a good thing I didn't quit here, because then I wouldn't learn of Chad's hidden superpowers. He somehow transported from the kitchen to the barn to save his family. The length of the crawlspace would imply the barn is some distance away, so to get there from the smoke filled kitchen which, how did... I need to take a break.

(one episode of The Ripping Friends later)

And they all lived happily ever after. No seriously, they all lived, even the bunny did, surprisingly. I imagine they're happy enough to have lived through that. Pretty ballsy, but then again this was probably meant for more ballsy families.

After a reminder this was just a movie, we get a dose of reality, detailing spreads in areas along the south. This isn't dramatized, this is real footage. Plus we get insight to the practical effects on the movie, as in the fact that we had a real bee keeper serve as a technical advisor, Norman Gary. Interestingly, Gary also worked on Candyman, fans of it can tell where.

I guess one would be a fool to claim otherwise to bees spreading, but to heck with it. They do say killer bees only act when provoked, and they were in the movie at the very least. I'd be going against an expert in the field, so I won't question the logistics he presents, I'd be a fool to. I will say I wasn't expecting a documentary-type ending, so go figure. He's the reason why the movie was so on the nose with most bee facts, I'm glad they were willing to go with an expert on this.

Gary leaves off with some indirect advice. Bees only fly a certain speed, and with the right motivation we can easily outrun them.

Then the credits roll and the tape gives up some time after, but you're not missing much, just panning through the fields and presumably ending with a final shot of the bees before the closing logos. I find it symbolic that the copy I got just shuts off by the end. That's how most movies break for me when I can't take it anymore.

Final Thoughts

Okay, so I expected this movie to be stupid the whole way through, and after watching it, I can conclude that it's... pretty straightforward. They built the scenario based on what made sense, they didn't go all over the top with it and there were points that I was genuinely surprised. However, close to the end things got a little stupid, for where they got things right, sometimes they got them wrong in equal measure.

People have been especially hard on this movie, and honestly... they're half right. Where it sucks it sucks, but where it goes right it goes right. I found myself making more Chad jokes than Karen jokes, and the Karen here didn't complain... at all really.

In terms of TV movies like this, you can do far worse. At least this didn't ride off a beloved movie like The Birds II did. If you go into a movie about killer bees and take it seriously, don't talk to me, don't get to know me, crawl back into that ivy league cave you came from and stick to the farts you smell daily.

Admittedly I was feeling a little worn out close to the end, but I powered through and I can safely say this was more interesting than Night of the Twisters. I have the strangest feeling I have seen this movie a long time ago, whether it was on YouTube or not, but, whatever. This has been on the chopping block for a while and I wanted to wait until my finals were completed, and here we are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch JaidenAnimations for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hjrng-s8EQ

To Catch a Yeti: Reason for Being

 Submitted my last discussion post last night, now I have more than a week to cool off and ease back into the next term. So, what do you wanna talk about? There is one John Kricfalusi cartoon I wanna talk about, but I have a hard time describing it, I feel like reviewing a TV movie, it's a good thing I'm not setting myself up here, otherwise I'd lose a balance between work and leisure. Hmmm... how about the Cinema Snob?

I used to watch him quite a bit back in the day, but ever since he geared out more content related to religion, I'm starting to question if he ever set foot inside of a church, it'd be hilarious if not even the most depraved of Catholic priests wanted him. Maybe I just lost interest.

I always enjoy it when he looks deeper into the production of most movies he covers, all for the sake of establishing context, but there are times when he slacks on it, mostly when he finds candidates for the worst movies he has seen. Looking into To Catch a Yeti, after cross referencing it with my own research, I feel that Brad Jones missed a very good opportunity.

So I'm going to try and discuss whatever behind the scenes info I could on this movie for the hell of it.

Why?

The roots of To Catch a Yeti can be traced as far back as the mid-80s, with a production company known as Emmeritus Productions. Emmeritus was formed by Lionel Shenken to produce shot-on-video movies for local Ontario stations, CHCH in Hamilton for instance. Because of their focus on Canadian culture, the company is best recognized for that (for the Canuxploitation movement to give it its association.)

Emmeritus' movies operated under certain principles, where scenes can't last for more than two minutes and action scenes would occur every six minutes. Keep this in mind when we get into the movie itself. This was owed to low costs and to ensure the movies keep a certain flow, also to aid with two-hour television junctions.

The company went under in 1989 and Shenken continued on with co-productions, one of which being through Dandelion, who distributed Emmeritus' movies in the United Kingdom. But wait, Dandelion? You mean the name of the company that presented To Catch a Yeti? No joke, that movie is mentioned by name in the article I'm getting my information from.

I looked on IMDb just to be sure and yeah, Shenken not only produced it, but wrote it too. The fact that most scenes were also shot in Ontario only reinforces the Emmeritus connection. Referring back to Shenken's principles, you know how some scenes are resolved quickly, and the action scenes go on for ac certain amount of time? They were by design and to keep costs low.

Shenken had the most influence on the script, causing rewrites that while it led to laughable results, apparently cut down on any spending. As of yet Shenken was not tied to any embezzlement cases, so it's likely he was going by his own resources and felt whatever was drafted initially would've been too rich for his blood. In the spirit of many direct-to-video family B movies, this tried to tap into familiar inroads of other family films. For the sake of appeal and increasing sales, it's understandable.

When it comes to selling anyone on a project, you needed a big name actor. Had Shenken had his way he would've stuck with a local actor to avoid paying any further on expenses. One of the executive producers, Noel Cronin, had worked with Meat Loaf on a prior project (Meat Loaf being that big name) so it was easy to get him on board.

From there, it was just whatever local actors were available, getting by on a low budget shoot and just getting something to sell to networks and the like. Needless to say, there were buyers so at the very least things worked out for them.'

Overall

I won't defend this movie on the grounds that it's just a dumb kid movie, but once you take into account that this was another brick in a wall of low-budget Canadian productions, you'd have to be an idiot to be mad about this kind of movie. It couldn't have improved, had the writers taken up their original vision, it probably wouldn't have turned out as well.

We needed context, and clearly the Cinema Snob wussed out. Check out the articles below for more information on Emmeritus and an interview with the film's director.

canuxploitation.com/article/emmeritus.html

https://www.dreadcentral.com/news/169601/insanity-kids-catching-catch-yeti-director-bob-keen/

LTA: The Goddamn George Liquor Program

 Why am I so interested in John Kricfalusi these days?

So not too long ago I covered one of John K.'s first Hanna Barbera parodies he made for Adult Swim. Well, I also alluded to something he did time before.

Since all John K. will be remembered for is his downfall, it's best I get newcomers up to speed on what he used to be known for. John Kricfalusi had helped defined at least one area of 90s culture and nostalgia. He is also best known for creating The Ren and Stimpy Show, music videos for Bjork and Weird Al Yankovic, Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon, parodies for Adult Swim, The Ripping Friends-

Which absolutely, no one remembers.

But whether or not you agree he still has a place in 90s culture, one thing that can never be denied is that he was one of the earliest creators of content for the internet. In 1997, John K. under the association of Microsoft developed this show for their MSN service, this being one of two alongside Weekend Pussy Hunt-

Which absolutely, no one remembers.

But the deal fell through and John K. released the shorts themselves on his own website. Now let me remind you, 1997. This predated Homestar Runner, WhirlGirl, those smiling foliage acquaintances and The God and Devil Show, some other Cartoon Network web cartoon, even Newgrounds wasn't even around until time after. So yeah, it's safe to say John K. was the godfather of web animation.

Now you're probably thinking, well how can I be harsh on something that was literally the first of its kind? It was well before standards were set, 1998 was when things really fell into place, he was just doing his own thing. On the other hand, remember Psyguy, Bryon Beaubien? He was the godfather of Sonic fan content, had been on the web before anyone else had, even beating Chris Chan's early web presence by two years and like John K... gave no shit about age barriers.

If I wanna be harsh, then I'm gonna be harsh.

But before I get into the shorts, it's best I establish some context first. George Liquor, the star as you may've figured, was once a character on Ren and Stimpy, perhaps best known for appearing in the episode Man's Best Friend-

Which absolutely, everyone remembers.

Whether it's due to loopholes or something beyond my knowledge, John K. was able to get George to use till his heart's content. Not to mention, you know that drooling idiot that appeared in the Spumco logo at the end of old Ren and Stimpy episodes? He, Jimmy the Idiot Boy, was passed over by John K. so he wouldn't lose the rights, so it makes sense he appears in a project where John K. holds the rights.

But I guess he either stopped caring or had more ownership in regard to The Ripping Friends, because he appears in there too, in a prominent role.

Among the staff featured in these shorts include Richard Pursel, who would go on to assist with Adult Party Cartoon, even MoBrosStudios' favorite punching bag Aaron Springer was involved here. But most significant of all, it's one of John K.'s accusers Robyn Byrd. I know it may not seem like much these days, but it's proof that he had her under his thumb back then.

Also apparently the compilation I'm going by here has such seamless transitions that I'm gonna cover it as if it was one continuous episode.

And now, It's About Time for the Show

For headphone users, there's 40 seconds of silence at the start of the short. Just a friendly warning.

People have said John K. destroyed his career with Adult Party Cartoon. I'd say this show was an omen for that. It has the dragged humor, crazy faces, adult schtick, even shit like a good look at a dog's anus, its nuts, it smoking a cigarette, it getting so hard we thankfully can't see the Twinkie among the snowballs, even a turd comes to life, just like APC.

But let's overthink this. A turd comes to life in APC, but at the very least it was integral to the plot of the episode. It was as big of a turd as the one Stimpy crapped out but at least there was a point to it. Here, we not just see one turd come to life, but a whole bunch of them. If you look closely, you can get the idea John K. desperately wants to predict a bulk of the jokes in Hoops.

I don't know how powerful computers were when it came to flash cartoons, but with the level of padding we got for nearly a minute at the start, I'd say John K. wasted a good chunk of data real estate.

But soon we see George Liquor... United Arab Emirates. Watch as he whistles while he has his mouth completely shut.

I'm just gonna say it outright, while he helped show that there was potential in internet content, his humor doesn't translate well to flash. More extreme gags translate poorly with stilted animation and very clear repetition. Now granted, flash animation isn't as limited as people imply it to be, but remember, this was where it basically began. A new beginning needs to start simply.

You'd think with the amount of time John K. stretches a scene out he'd have time to make a funny story, but no, even by character introduction standards this is a slog. Most I got was irony, but not in the way you'd think, as well as a question to how irrelevant Michael Pataki became at that point to assist John K. for something as smalls scale as internet cartoons.

I was so focused on finding something of interest I actually noticed a frame goof- the wall changed from grey to purple, George wasn't sitting on a chair, but then suddenly he is. I've seen other changes like that with the background, but this was the most significant in that it feels like at least one scene before or after was tacked on. I noticed another frame goof in Ren Seeks Help, maybe it's entirely on John K., who knows?

Now, I've been able to find meaning to most edgy cartoons I've seen. Hell, say what you will about APC, it's just the original Ren and Stimpy without limitations. But compared to other John K. stints... this is somehow both out there and basic all the same. Anything that seems shocking is delivered in such a mild manner... I dunno it's just not the same.

I'd go on, but first, bacon. That wad of bacon they eat is so good that it disappears after a single bite into it. I'm starting to think this is just a haphazard collection of frames done separately from one another. Pay enough attention and you can see what I mean.

I'll give it this, a pan of hot bacon grease to the throat yields a result that's surprisingly both realistic and not as gross. We get a lot of indications that this takes place in the same universe as the actual final nail in the coffin to John K.'s career, in the form of characters that would appear in it that had here, but I'll wait till the end to spill it.

In the meantime, say hello to Robyn Byrd as she looks in John K.s mind- I mean Sody Pop. The realization is so dramatic the music drowns out her first few words of dialog. Her interactions with Jimmy can basically equate to one variation of "I swear she was 18." For better or worse, John K.'s ladies are total boner killers.

Also Jimmy's an idiot when it comes to anything beyond the female body. He uh, trying to make a statement here? I uh, overthinking here?

George Liquor is so adamant on protecting Jimmy's innocence he overlaps himself in telling off a pedo's strawman. Then when playfighting with his nephews, he has some incredibly loud inner monologues that suggest his mouth should be moving, but doesn't.

Also Jimmy predicts Boo Boo in Boo Boo Runs Wild. Pissing himself is apparently as gratifying as scratching bark off of a tree.

And now I get to see my very first introduction to George Liquor, a scene that contains an image from a Wikipedia article I read relating to John K. in regard to a Tower Records promotion. Somehow, Tower Records got to outlive John K. in terms of professional years, but even it got a better received resurgence. Apparently Tower Records helped fund these shorts, and this ad was to encourage people to buy stuff from the store with most proceeds going to John K. But given that the next short is apparently the last, I think some got wiser.

We end with a little Christmas short, as well as another reference to that one particular short. I hate Disney as much as any sensible person would, but John K. put a dent in that prospect (little hint.) Apparently there exists present wrappers that can change color. Yes they re-used frames again, and as a reward for that acknowledgement... rape (one forcing themself on another sexually. Jimmy is technically the equivalent of a 80-something woman with dementia so it counts.)

Also a fair comes out of a girl's ass. What this is referring to, I dunno, maybe something religious? And we conclude with the feeling of your soul being pierced by the big dead-eyed stares of characters synonymous with someone who has wasted talent. I won't even comment on the music track overlapping or the clear cuts to different frozen frames that only George can make his way out of with his repeated animation. I'm feeling too much of a chill and I don't even know what the hell they're singing.

With that Said

The Goddamn George Liquor Program was the first webtoon in existence, and dare I say helped to show the potential of web cartoons. I feel that without it, we probably would've never had the web cartoons we had then through to today.

However, that doesn't mean it's above criticism, especially given how big John K. was and what he became. Once the legacy was stripped away, we're left with a fundamentally broken series of shorts whose only novelty was laying down a warning for the direction John K. would take later on down the line.

The similarities between the humor in this and APC is almost parallel to one another, and somehow I think this is worse than APC in terms of how lazy it is by comparison. This may very well be an omen for Cans Without Labels as well. The nephews in this, aptly named Slab and Ernie, would go on to appear in that (even Cigarettes the Cat appeared in this and that.)

Just the fact that one of John K.'s accusers was involved in this and there's a sexualized girl in this (George certainly views her as such), only makes this much more creepy in hindsight. At least APC just showed us how limitations helped inspire more creativity and without it we just have a hot mess.

I don't know how bad the limitations were back then, but they were no excuse for faults such as audio syncing and overlaps, background changes where they weren't needed, and all that padding which was another APC omen.

Honestly, The Slim Shady Show was better than this, at least that was true to the character.

IFC Animation Retrospective

Let's be real, the best places to watch adult cartoons are networks and services that don't normally air them. TBS, MTV, FX, IFC, they geared out underrated classics, or at the very least edgy shows that actually gave you something to think about.

So IFC

Say what you will about IFC, sure they mostly strayed from what they used to be, but unlike other similar networks, they had content worth giving a damn about, whether it be reruns of cult programs, movie broadcasts or unique comedy programs. When it comes to cartoons, one may think Out There was their only hurrah, and you'd be wrong. Though I assure you that's coming soon.

In 2005, IFC released their actual first original cartoon, Hopeless Pictures. The show ran for nine episodes and basically petered out of existence. The show starred Michael McKean, who I never heard of but apparently others did, and also featured Bob Balaban, Lisa Kudrow and retroscripting mainstay Jonathan Katz. This is looking to be an obscure rip-off of Dr. Katz, but hold that thought.

While not interesting actor wise, it's certainly interesting production wise. The animation was produced at World Leaders Entertainment, whom you may recognize for some obscure Adult Swim cartoon, Venture... dudes who happen to be blood related. It was produced by an imprint of Trigger Street Productions, ran by a child molester who happens to be an actor, or Kevin Spacey if you prefer. I'd go more into that but-

Pop Quiz!

What was the first Netflix original series? If you guessed House of Cards, you'd be wrong. Apparently, Netflix co-produced this show back when they were just a rental service. I don't know what led to this, but there you go. Ironically, Trigger Street would co-produce House of Cards.

Apparently the show is available on DVD and streaming, but don't quote me on that. When it comes to shows that end at an abrupt episode account, it means either it died early or was self-contained to a certain amount of episodes.

Premise

For better or worse, the structure of the show fits the aesthetic IFC once aimed for, an indie-flick affair. The show centers on the inner workings of Hollywood, but rather than lampoon Hollywood culture and cram in enough references to make Family Guy blush, it's a more realistic look into Hollywood producer culture.

As this goes for a more realistic approach, characters are either at their most raw or most limited based on the conventions of their character. So prepared for an agent who wears his son and co-worker to the narrowest thread and some cheating here and there. Aside from them, Katz tries his hand at therapy again and acts as a guide for those who call. I can't tell if he doesn't like his clients or is just generally aloof, or it's another statement I'm not realizing.

There is a gimmick to this, where a majority of the dialog is handled on the phone, often scripted conversations, along with whatever improvisation need apply. It's funny how most non-cartoon cable network's first foray into animation always relies on this, well, always as in this is how FX got its start with animation.

It's all well and good, but there's just one problem, the audio is inconsistent. Sometimes we get real interference with the phone audio, other times they just use a direct recording. Minor nitpick, but consistency's always welcome.

Animation

One of the most interesting things about the show is the animation. It utilizes oil-painting, or something of similar visage with the characters, abstract environments, and it looks as though paper is being pulled along the background to simulate animation. It really gives off that indie feel and yeah, it suits what IFC initially stood for. Think early Adult Swim animation, but with a little more life.

Final Thoughts

It's hard to recommend a show with an otherwise minimalist presentation. If you're into studio politics, I mean then again I have few episodes on my person to go by. But personally, I'd prefer to watch this over The Critic any day of the week.

Out There

Now we come to IFC's supposed first original animated production. Out There reared its head into the ring in 2013, as the golden age of adult animation persisted. Like Hopeless Pictures, it wasn't around for long, but got one more episode out of it.

The show was created by Ryan Quincy, who was previously involved with South Park. It sorta reminds me of Neighbors from Hell, which was also created by a former South Park staffer, Pam Brady. You'd think IFC would buckle down and go the edgelord route, but here, Quincy embodies the more thoughtful side of South Park, as you'd soon find out.

Out There was produced by Bento Box Entertainment, long before they became a contributing factor to why so many new adult animated sitcoms are practically interchangeable. Here, this was their humble beginnings, helping to introduce future juggernaut Bob's Burgers to the world, also Allen Gregory, which if you're curious, I watched a good amount of it... I hated it. I'd defend the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon, but everyone was right about Allen Gregory.

Plot

Out There is a slice-of-life affair, and that was an unintentional rhyme. It centers on the comings and goings of a bunch of furry animals, such as our lead, the socially awkward defier of the name Chad, the obligatory lame friend, and whoever else. Set in the ever common setting of Ne.... braska? Nebraska? Finally, change. For the record, Quincy was a Kearney native.

One thing this show has going for it that overtakes the rest is its vibe. It has an oddly familiar feel to it, a bleak, nostalgic, lack of urgency feel. The kind of feel that's common place in indie flicks, and as something so late in the game for IFC, it works wonders. Funny thing is, I did watch IFC a bit at this point, and though I don't remember the show, it feels very familiar. Maybe I have seen it before, or maybe I just relate to the feeling of adolescence that either slipped away or is forever bound to me.

Food for thought.

For whatever edgy joke is thrown out there, given that this is a slower affair focusing on the character's day to day lives, it's a little forgivable and like Hopeless Pictures, adds an extra layer of realism. Not to mention it captures the high school experience to a tee. Let's just say it's a cliche I can never debate. Also the show doesn't have a soundtrack, or much of one, which adds to the overall experience.

Animation

While they didn't try anything fancy here, the simple animation and dour color palette helps add to the casual, nostalgic feel the show's going for.

Final Thoughts

For a show that's not even ten years old as of this writing, it somehow feels just as nostalgic. Check it out and see how many bells can be rung.

Overall

I think it's safe to say IFC slayed when it came to their animated programs. They were very unique shows or took predictable premises and made them interesting, and they had an indie vibe that the network once stood for.

As someone who used to adore adult animation, it disgusts me to see what had become of the genre. We live in a paradox where the worst shows survive, people push for ended shows to continue while ignoring the fact they would complain about a show going on for too long, I'd just like to go back to when there was meaning to edgy humor or hidden depth, and escape from the usual suspects.