I had decided to take a break from social media, particularly sites that were either the most bothersome and see what it can do for my mental state. I certainly feel better, but I question if I may slip again. If anything, I may just take periodic breaks to keep myself balanced. I'm gonna be saying stuff that may come off as repetitive and petty, but I just want to get this out of my system, and hopefully give you some context to my behavior the past few days. I’m going to hopefully give you a better idea what got this going.
In my time gone, I have also reflected on my behavior before then. When I get into something, I tend to go all in, and a majority of the time I act like an asshole. To those reading this, if I had given you shit before, I'm sorry to most of you. What I mean is, to those I was a dick toward that I came at first, I'm sorry, but to those who responded in a relatively toxic fashion, it's complicated. The best way to respond to a douchebag is to do so in equal measure, so I got what I paid for, and I'm sure they just moved on right away.
What drove me to most of what I did, at least on Twitter, was negativity. I've rarely seen anything of the other extreme, so I just found myself responding to posts or those relevant to a current situation, and one big situation in particular was TheMysteriousMrEnter, but I won't go into what he did as I'm sure everyone is already sick to death of it. For what I did, it wasn't in defense of the review, it was the fact that it was difficult to express an opinion going against the majority without getting slammed for it. I saw it happen to one guy, and even after he removed the tweet, people still went at him, including bigger figures in the community.
Where I stand with it, I do agree the point was absurd, my issue is how quickly it was ran into the ground and that it can act like a free pass for just about anyone. I’m getting mixed signals by people bringing up his past fuck ups to try and justify that frenzy, that tells me they’re not doing it to be funny. That’s not my scene, at least I don’t want it to be. I can’t find humor in i, anymore at least.
It's silly, but when you realize people you look up to or those poised as being friendlier members of a community, or perhaps those who have gotten away with degeneracy just because they share the same opinions as the community at large, it gets kinda depressing, you can get away with just about anything as long as you meet proper criteria. There's also nothing anyone can really do about it, just because it doesn't seem fair that doesn't mean I suddenly have permission to go after people.
I didn't handle this well at all, and I found myself annoying people more often then not. I'm not gonna blame anyone for not telling me how they felt sooner, I'm just gonna accept where I went wrong and try to be better about it. It was there that I decided I wanted to take a break from social media, I came to the conclusion after having a little time to reflect on my behavior that day, and thus I would take the next two weeks off to decompress.
One thing that really proved important in helping me get over my frankly petty animation gripes was an underlying truth to Enter. He takes the good with the bad, then there's the bigger picture. Even in spite of all of the bullshit, he is still posting videos, survived multiple controversies and is just still going. Only thing stopping him is a loss of interest, or his channel, whatever may come first. I think he grew desensitized to a lot of stuff occurring to or around him and everyone just pulls the weight.
If these things don't bother him, why should I let it bother me? Rather than take the negative and go after strangers on the internet over a difference in opinion, when I could take the positive and laugh at how they're still trying to justify laughter through clenched teeth? I got over it, and I can only hope I can start the new year with a positive outlook.
Also, for those of you wondering where I stand with Turning Red, I still don't like the movie, but if you do, that's fine. I’m gonna steer clear of it the best I can, I’m not gonna harp on people who like it going forward, I already get the idea behind the drama so I have no interest in seeing videos about it, I already get the idea, and it's not gonna change my mind. I don't like the movie, better yet, I have no desire to watch it knowing that I won;t like it, and it was well before the situation occurred. I won't pick fights and I'll try to be better about my perspectives. For YouTube, if I see any videos about it, I'm just gonna assume they came out when Enter's video was new, and that Twitter is the only place pushing it. I won’t go further than that.
Now, this is no guarantee that I'm gonna be perfect the entire year, we all fuck up every now and again. If anything, I may take periodic breaks, maybe not from the internet entirely but just relegating myself to areas assuredly positive. Also need to remind myself not to go on Twitter or search certain people on YouTube, it may cause my brain cells to shrink. But on Twitter, I'm giving everyone weeks notice to add me on Discord or follow me anywhere else before I shut the account down, already putting it to a vote. YouTube can be annoying with what it shows in recommendations or searches, but the moment I stop using Twitter, it's as if a weight's lifted.
Thanks for reading, let’s see what 2023 has to offer.
