Thunder, thunder, Thunderbirds, HO!!!
That can't be right...
For many a British viewer, Thunderbirds is a perennial staple. What could beat high octane action starring puppets, or marionettes, are they any different beyond some distinctions?
I'm gonna level with you... I never saw the original Thunderbirds, beyond some brief clips. All else I know is that it employed a process known as supermarionation, sounds like it'd make for a good fansite name, and that it was incredibly popular.
But that's not the point.
You're an American in the 90s. The internet hasn't become a regular part of someone's life and where were you gonna watch the original Thunderbirds at that point? If this was you, your first introduction would've been a little ditty called Turbocharged Thunderbirds. And much like fans of Mobile Suit Gundam in 1997, it'd ruin the original for anybody.
You'd have had better luck if you were a fan of Supercar in the late-80s/early-90s, which was screened on The Higgins Boys and Gruber, plus Clutch Cargo.
Background
Thunderbirds' first introduction in America came in 1994, when episodes were ran on Fox Kids, albeit edited for time restraints and, you guessed it, localization through American actors and a new soundtrack (getting Saban vibes through it, they used their own soundtrack when they had control of the Dragon Ball Z dub back in the day.) This was said to be done to capitalize on the popularity of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, which was ironically airing on Fox already. I guess it was only prophetic that Disney would acquire them since one source of income is never enough.
It'd be fun to look at how Fox handled this, but something more interesting came out a few months later in a place where people pray for death, but death won't come. UPN. And things took quite a turn. How bad was it? Well at this point they went from capitalizing on Power Rangers to trying to follow a similar formula. If you include live-action footage along with stunt action, that's an automatic parallel.
To say the creators weren't happy with this is an understatement, Gerry Anderson, who created it in the first place, even went as far as threatening legal action lest his name was taken off. Sufficed to say, only one season came of this. It's almost as if Power Rangers made their schtick work or Americans weren't as stupid as most would assume.
There're few actors I recognize in this. Apparently the guy who played Tripp would go on to appear in Eurotrip, a movie I actually have fond memories of. Tim Curry was in this, but then again he was in everything at this point.
The show was distributed by ITC Entertainment, which made sense as they were initially created as a distribution arm by ATV who aired the original Thunderbirds series. It was also produced by Propaganda Television. The company was behind Beverly Hills 90210 (which ironically had Tripp's actor), Nickelodeon's Salute Your Shorts and David Lynch's Hotel Room.
Propaganda, or at least the film company it was a branch of, was acquired by PolyGram in the 90s, and ironically they would acquire ITC too.
So, what'll make this review special? What can I add to the table that no one else has? Well, as mentioned before I've never seen the original Thunderbirds. I will view this show on its own merits and see if it would've had something to offer outsiders.
How bad could this be?
Well the intro is a first for me, an intro that's half cool, and half shit. One half is the original footage, the other was tacked on, at least it looks that way.
The copy I found has Chinese subtitles, and when the title card appears, part of the subtitle reads SOS. Part of it is coincidence, the other, our first introduction after the theme song is the live-action stuff.
Our first time seeing the live-action characters, the music is making me think a game of Blue's Clues is about to begin. But let's be fair, most of the complaints about stuff like this come from people who had a particular attachment to the original material. There're some 90s live action shows as cheesy as this and people still enjoy them, maybe a fresh pair of eyes can help this out some.
Tripp wonders where his skateboard is, and I'm getting flashbacks to how the lead singer of Faith No More got into an accident with one at the tender age of 40. I guess along with being a hypocrite he's also clinging to his lost youth.
Okay, the dialog is kinda clunky, and littered with lingo, of the technical and the California variety. Da Boom Crew handled this worse, too bad the only review of it I can find is literally unwatchable. I'll give it this, Tripp is the better actor so far, and at least he landed some major roles since this. By the way, if you're wondering about the girl, other character... Roxette, she previously had a role in Back to the Future... the animated series and also appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 before dropping off after another UPN bastardization of Love Boat, I mean it might be good, who knows?
I'm running into too many coincidences and I'm not even two minutes into this.
So anyway, Roxette takes the wheels off of Tripp's means of movement in a series of video games bastardized by Activision in later years to create a device that'll either come in handy in the climax or get the conflict going. Tripp and Roxette tend to bicker, at least I'm sure of it.
But fuck them for about a minute or so, let's get into the Thunderbirds footage... for about a few seconds. I have to assume they used the American voices here. I'll admit, at times networks could get away with these dubs, I would've never known Bob the Builder came from the UK based on Nick Jr.'s initial airings of it, wait why would I be mad about it here? I never watched the original show.
Anyway, seems the computer is warning us about any future lingo about to be spouted, why else is it called the "yo" warning? It seemed to have a little too much "yo", it keeps fidgeting around as if it's trying to be loud and in your face to capture a 90s vibe. And it was right, we got technical lingo. It may fit with the situation, but how many times have we heard manual override? I mean then again they could've had someone call a wrench by a name not even a technical person would refer to it as.
The device Tripp is using almost looks like a View Master. In fact, it is. I can suspend my sense of disbelief as far as black garbage bags being used to resemble a black mass in a body of water that eats people, Creepshow 2. Hell, what is the standard for basic small vehicles in giant space ships? Am I gonna defend Space Mutiny of all things?
Why am I bringing this up? Easy, I figured this out the first time I saw it. Even if it was just a guess.
Anyway all that's going on for now is establishing the conflict and dialog that isn't necessarily hard to understand, just to sit through. The device is brought up, I think Tripp is looking at pictures of national landmarks, and shock of all shocks, it works, the device, and for a little breather, back to the Thunderbirds.
I'd like to point out that at times I question if the footage the producers picked actually fit what was going on in the live-action plot. We get the implication this solely revolves around an episode relating to Russian agents plotting to destroy a plane, and right after, we go through an ancient temple.
Is the Russian guy conspiring with ancient spirits for guidance? Is the context behind this blurred due to its awkward placement? Should I finally set up my Hulu account and thus have access to more content I can watch and have the luxury of watching stuff on my phone? I mean then again I don't wanna give Disney anymore money or Animaniacs the time of day.
Did that make sense? It made as much sense as the Thunderbirds clips they use to establish some form of a cohesive plot.
What this is trying to do is introduce Tim Curry's character, the Atrocimator. Why do I suddenly wanna watch Re-Animator? I'd say the effects here are nice, but even the effects in Demon Island are better, and I'm willing to bet that cost more to make than this. Tim Curry does a good performance, but he always does. Tell me, is there a single bad performance by Tim Curry? Anyone? Anything? Thought so.
Was the effect's low quality meant to fit in with the Thunderbirds segments?
Anyway from here, we don't just get separate segments, we get the live action segments blended with the Thunderbirds segments, which is what we saw with Tim Curry. Roxette calls Commander Tracy, and he questions if someone put anything weird in his morning cup. I say commander because there are multiple ones and I'm bound to piss someone off by getting it wrong.
I'll give the show credit, in that the commander doesn't act on their word right away. I can say so far Tripp and Roxette, while unnecessary, aren't mary-sues. Either they redubbed the original actors or didn't bother, still hearing some British voices, but also hearing some American ones. Drawing a blank.
Hearing more and more lines from Roxette, I'm reminded of Rev from Van-Pires in terms of acting that suggests they could either only afford one take or just straight up sucked. But surprisingly Rev's actress had roles up until 2020. On the other hand, I can't tell if this has better or worse effects than Van-Pires.
So a bomb is in the landing gear of a plane, all options to stop this are minimal, but the day will be saved through the power of... contrived idiocy. Tripp dinks around on what's left of his skateboard by riding on marbles, and in the realm of 90s live-action shows or just those with contrived writing, marbles will be the means of which they save the day... either this is how they did it in the original Thunderbirds, or we're gonna see some plane effects that'd rival the quality of Night of the Twisters.
This was an off-screen pitch, showing how little the live-action segments mesh with the Thunderbird segments.
Time away from the two space dinks is allowing me to see the merits in the original Thunderbirds. It's all about intricate models and designs, and for something produced in the 60s, it looks great. It's a big deal of effort marred with the conventions of 90s television in America. Look, even Tripp and Roxette enjoy the old show, why else do they suddenly pop in again just to cheer?
Okay how far along are we... not even exactly half way there huh...? This is turning into a journey, I'm losing sight of what's important, my work, my health and my personal data falling into the hands of corporations, hackers and more.
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Anyway.
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After hearing stock sound effects that remind me of one of those bonus missions in Ed, Edd n' Eddy the MisEdventures, I gave up.
Yeah, I gave up, I quit. I got as far as 11 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. I feel like that reference to Night of the Twisters was prophetic, as I couldn't make it through that one either.
It wasn't an entertaining bad show, it was just dull with the worst of 90s live-action, I do not wanna see any more of it. Something tells me Van-Pires would've been more interesting. Would've had more fun trying to do more of my school work for the remainder of the day.
If only I can find an episode of The Higgins Boys and Gruber...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYGDeZ0UnYA
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