American Nightmares Review

 Had it not been for Ralph Sepe, I would've never heard of this movie. Let me explain, Ralph had done two videos relating to Scorch (PFG TV), a crappy talk show now contaminated by Ralph's fanbase. Anyway, I found Scorch's IMDb and discovered he had a bit role in this film. It was between doing a review of an old VH1 movie relating to the PMRC hearing, which I may cover if the next few weeks are forgiving enough, or biting the bullet and reviewing one of Stephen Colbert's cartoons, well save for Our Cartoon President which I covered ages ago. That's not definite.

But lo and behold, this movie is on YouTube, at least for now. You know the funny thing? This and The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson (the movie mind you) are both on YouTube in the form of illegal uploads, and haven't been touched by copyright. I guess the moral behind that is don't have your movies distributed by Quiver Distribution.

Background

This movie is an enigma. It has nothing much beyond an IMDb page. The film was helmed by two directors, Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott. Both had previously worked on films like Tales from the Hood, which I actually enjoyed. The sequels? Not so much.

It's fair to assume this was produced on a very low budget. The film was produced by Patriot Pictures, a low profile company specializing in low end genre films, and it was released by Moonstone Entertainment in 2018, with Quiver releasing it in 2021. Looking at the cast, this seems to be a who's who of washed up actors looking for any form of publicity. The film stars Danny Trejo, of Breaking Wind fame and Jay Mohr. Not ringing any bells? He stared in Action and appeared in an episode of Night Visions, and both of those are objectively good TV shows, don't get it twisted. Also this was one of the final roles of Clarence Williams III, who starred in Tales from the Hood.

The Film

Follow along here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztIvnUtMSg&t=4603s

This is a horror anthology film, featuring Danny Trejo hacking into the computers of some millennials to tell them some stories. I'm a sucker for horror anthologies, you never know what you'd get with them. I loved Terror Tract, Tales from the Hood, Creepshow 2, Campfire Tales, Tales from the Crypt, I also like most old religious thrillers, b-movies and Sonic games from Adventure to Unleashed, so take my musings with a grain of salt.

One thing I can immediately expect is a socio political slant. Cundieff is basically known for that already. The stories may be heavy handed, but at least I expect them to be. But hey, we got some neat star power, James Duvatl, Vivica At F-Zero-X, Noel G, wait who? Yeah, they think 1337 is the way to go.

The opening crawl is hammy at best. The anthologies I've mentioned before, even those beyond, establish a certain vibe or atmosphere. This just suggests they know what they're doing is low budget and destined to be on a rack at your local Dollar Tree. Hell even Tales from the Quadead Zone had a vibe, and even less of a budget. Last time I saw an intro this over-indulgent I watched New World Order, and that one was actually a good movie.

After the last shot shows people that really love Christianity, we get the age all classic cliche of making computer hacking look more exciting than it actually is. Naturally they scour for porn. I could rage about women's rights, or I could just consider this to be a constant cliche. Said cliche is mercifully ended, as Danny Trejo hacks their computer, succumbing to his inner feminist, and seeking to cover potential harassment claims coming his way.

I may be half right on half of what I said. I'd question if hacking is similar to TV interference, but I don't want to know.

Anyway, without any delay, we have our first story, and an issue I wanna bring up. There's a lack of a flow between the segments and the framework. In other films like Tales from the Hood, Crypt, Quadead Zone, Campfire Tales, and Terror Tract, the story is brought up after something related to it is before. We have an idea we'd learn more about something in the form of the story. If this isn't setup for a twist...

Mates

Unfortunately due to a lack of detailed plot information, I'd have to guess most of these stories as I go along.

So this one starts of with a woman and her deadbeat boyfriend. We get some serious whiplash at the start, cutting between the woman at a bar and her talking with her friend somewhere else. I have no idea what this is building up to, all I wanna do is tell her that being single won't be the end of the world. You really wanna be tied down in a relationship that probably won't last? Think about it.

The main woman, Shanika? Runs the risk of getting driven off of Twitter for her love of straight relationships, and gets a package, not one attached to a man but a box, not attached to a woman but, wait it's an envelope, which isn't a euphemism.

It looks like this story is gonna go into the evils of internet dating, or she would set up her own demise with the creation of an ideal man. If it were up to me, I'd say the twist is her definition of a perfect man is the asshole who got this started in the first place.

So far the quality of this... is at 240p, so I can't complain about the quality, and I had a good joke comparing this to something by Charles Band. Check out Kill Joy and you'll see what I mean, and for a great movie recommendation.

And soon, Shanika meets long, tan and unsure of who he's looking for. Credit where it's due, this dating scene doesn't seem too forced. I mean you gotta force yourself in these situations so it's always gonna seem forced. I mean it's less forced than the sex scene. I'm just saying, if you make The Room's sex scene and a makeout scene featuring a young Rob McElhenney look more natural, then this is unnatural. I blew it.

At this point I'm still speculating. Is her date like a vampire, who sucks out souls and energy from women through sex? Actually no, I spoke too soon. He is a robot, and the dating site she found sent him as part of a free trial. I mean I guess that makes sense, how else can the perfect date be crafted? I honestly didn't know what to expect. And that includes how her deadbeat old boyfriend was in on it, to teach her a lesson relating to perfection.

I assume he's gonna die soon. He is more hammy than a comedic actor trying to play an abusive father. Yes, that was a Tales from the Hood reference. For however shitty he is, I admire his patience, he allows Shanika to dig through her purse to find a credit card so she can activate the robot again and let him get killed. You don't find patient individuals that often anymore.

Oh wait he was getting the robot, apparently he's as patient as he is strong to lift human AI, also can't believe how hilarious he is. So yeah, he tries to strangle her, the robot saves her and that's essentially the end. He could lift him but he can't so much as punch him in the face. But wait, he shoots him, and the bullet... hits the shooter in the chest? Death by convenience, go figure.

Though I understand the broader implications of having AI in our lives, something you can control can make life easier. Marriage is always a gamble.

Anyway, back to the hackers, almost abruptly, maybe Danny's just shooting the shit with those willing to listen to him? Our next tale, point blank, deals with judiciary concerns. If this is a story about Brett Kavanaugh I'm gonna be pissed.

The Prosecutor

Oh gee, white judges cracking down on black defendants, how is this gonna go down? This was years before June the fifteenth at least.

So, is the crook innocent? Is the prosecutor who's running for governor racist? Did he kill the people the crook is accused of killing? Is this gonna be where I find Scorch?

I'm probably more concerned this is gonna be a rehash of a story from Tales from the Hood. Just because you directed both movies doesn't mean you should copy them. Turns out he didn't, the real killer was found, and I guess the prosecutor, Mooreland? He doesn't want to change the verdict. So he's gonna die, this is clearly a message about our corrupt legal system, and showing me how inconsistent the movie is with its accents.

Apparently this segment is big on family. Either this is a metaphor or setting up the end twist, or maybe Mooreland is a huge Fast and the Furious fan.

With the crook escaping from prison and a sudden power outage, I feel like poetic justice is about to happen. After a scene of the crook reading the bible and praying to God, I mean before, he breaks into the house and shoots at Mooreland. Is this a nightmare? A stab at religious hypocrisy? Did he actually kill his family? Did Mooreland have a hand in killing the crook's family?

I'm not in suspense, or interested, I'm not even 30 minutes into the film. So it cuts back to the crook in the cell. Was this a revenge fantasy? Was this actually why he was on death row? Did he use telepathic means to conduct the murders? No, poetic justice. The crook kills Mooreland's family, and he is framed for it. Okay, how? Was there a deleted scene where he consults with Scorch to have his soul exit the body and hunt Mooreland down?

If this is a stab at politics, it's sorta like using Soul Calibur to vent out your frustrations with your community college professor.

Okay so the crook was executed beforehand. It was ghosts, and bad sequencing to try and establish a twist, also he gets executed.

There's justice, then there's justice not well executed. I mean to be fair, at least they didn't make him a Klansman or give him a name that's a composite of numerous white supremacists.

I'm against injustice, but damn, drama makes it less palatable.

What's next? Wait, a confederate flag? No statements on that.

White Flight

A white family moves out of a neighborhood with black residents, they suffer in the end. My hang-up with these is predictability. If people didn't like Karen, chances are we'd deal with a badly written take on a legitimate issue. If no African American neighbors are giving you trouble, your animosity stems from racism alone. I mean that could be the direction they take, but they'd tell it in a way that ruins the prospect.

We see a man walk up to a house. This man apparently has telepathy, because he could knock on a door even though he's nowhere near it before jump cutting to the front of it. We meet our dead meat Thomas, and oh, that's where the obnoxious attitude went from Mooreland to. Look, I get you want to display how bad racism is, but there are better ways to do it. A racist white depiction is like a minstrel show, we already have stereotypes.

Oh and he's a racist cop too. I feel like Jordan Peele rose above because his movies weren't as lacking in subtlety, and maybe Get Out was actually really good.

Strommy McWallaceByrdMetzgerWaters gets a package, and it's a means of sending them to an all white area, a dimensional transporter. Robot AI and ghosts more plausible, frankly.

Side note, this segment might've featured Duane Whitaker, who appeared in Tales from the Hood.

This is looking to be cartoonishly cringey, they even have an over the top sign to that effect. So, does this mean the transport turned them black in the eyes of the residents of this new town? I'm a quarter right, it's his family that's seen as blacks. After an alarm is sounded, a police car door is slowly opened and a man is seen drinking in a diner. These are apparently important enough to show, but wait, they are, the sequencing is just total ass.

Okay quick delaying the inevitable, we know they're gonna get hassled.

But there's a twist, there is a twist, you ready for it? The people in this town aren't racist, they just didn't want people with black hair. It's stupid, but you know what? I'll take it. I didn't see it coming, and it kinda fits with the discussion on racism, and there is a lynching... a baby lynching, and he gets arrested. This is sorta like the end of the first segment in The Twilight Zone movie, but at least the actor in this got to live to see another day.

So, they set this up like a very basic racism revenge plot, but threw in a twist, no matter how stupid it was, which still fits the allegory they were going for. This has the most palatable twist I've seen in the movie just far, and I still have a ways to go.

After that, we get insight that the millenials spammed nudes of a girl who owed one of them money on social media, and I assume they're either gonna pay for it, or this is gonna serve as the basis for the next story. And she offed herself by the way, that may come into play.

So I did a little looking around, and I either have only four or five stories to go.

The Samaritan

I noticed a theme around clowns for the first few seconds, let's see where this goes.

After close to a minute of establishing shots, a man and a woman hold up a sick man for... ransom? Rent payment? Is he a hitman? Does he work for tips? This next scene has him offered to dress like a clown. I'm lost, I'll be right back.

So apparently the woman with the money collector is a prostitute with a pimp, and dressing as a clown is a sexual favor, where the payer is actually a murderer.

After finding her pimp asleep with his eyes open, she attempts to escape. I'll give it this, I like the mannerisms of the psycho in this. Could make for a b-grade Joker if anything. Somehow, upon giving a ghost her crucifix, both girls kill the clown. There was no socio political slant, though his actor once played John Wilkes Booth in The Ridiculous 6.

Okay, seven minutes to the hour mark, no use quitting now.

Hate Radio

Believe it or not, it's not what you think. It's not about racism, it's about everything. Alec Baldwin's possible twin, or Hugh Bluff, is our lead in this. Hugh Bluff? Why not Hugh Jastle? It's every right wing stereotype stuffed into one. This would've been a perfect time to have Scorch do his best Alex Jones impression.

It's an AM radio show, meaning this movie would be right down Cinema Snob's alley.

Okay, maybe with the over the top nature presented here they're not going after moderates. I can understand there are plenty of dickbags out there that function like this, but the issue here is a lack of a balance. We're equal, not one above another. Otherwise we're gonna see a white Martin Luther King Jr. one of these days, you want that on your conscious? A continuous debate that would inspire more hatred than anyone's comfortable with?

Look, I don't agree with anything he's saying. If you want to see a good story with a hateful radio show host, check out the Tales from the Darkside episode Devil's Advocate, or the Night Visions episode Dead Air.

He gets a call from New Mexico, and rather than voice his grievances with Woodrow Wilson, well you can guess.

Best case they're going for a show don't tell approach, or maybe it is tell because they just keep stretching this out. Again, I don't agree with a word coming out of this guy's mouth, or the callers for that matter, but it did do one thing for me, it made me appreciate commercial breaks.

Things are straightforward then... Make America Great Again.... okay, just a statement, not gonna complain about that, just them including an image of Donald Trump for good measure. So basically the writers think people are idiots who need literal reminders over things that have been engrained in our conscious a thousand times over?

I can't quit now, chances are people would lump me with either side if I do at this point. I have a hard enough time escaping politics already.

Hey guys, he's a Republican, he's bad. We assume you don't know that because we have no respect for your intelligence. Take our side you dummies, otherwise you're as bad as this potato sack we keep parading around.

The deal with this is that this man is turned into a woman, also evil portrait.

It worked better in Tales from the Hood with a racist man inhabiting a plantation and him getting attacked by living voodoo dolls, he deserved what came to him.

He turns into the woman and out of awareness for how bad the effect would look, covers any parts that would need to be seen to properly display the change. Also bad wig. This movie has a fascination with dragging scenes out, at least right here. It seems most of the budget was put toward that fake penis that fell out.

Though it may be racist to do so, I'd have to question Cundieff and Scott on their closeted sexist beliefs. They gave Hugh giant breasts, with clear clevage. Hell I'd even go as far as to consider this a touch transphobic. You really want these men to discuss issues women and transsexuals face every day, when they use a transition as a punishment? They don't decide your gender identity, you do.

What would happen if I said that to either two?

If I say I'm glad it's over, it's because this dragged on for so long I got the sum of it well before it ended. I was able to pick up everything in that overlong tirade at the start, so I have an idea how this ends. She claims that women deserve to be killed by serial killers, or something similar, and the same thing happens to her. And I guess the killer is one of the callers from before, somehow I was able to piece that together, I'm smarter than this movie gives me credit for it seems. Take a wild guess what happens.

So what's the moral of this story? Just transition to a female actor if you're gonna make a TG look half-assed. Also don't leave discussions on sexism in the hands of someone who thinks lowly of their audience's intelligence.

The Healer

Is this gonna be about religion? Evangelics? Faith healers. I'm just gonna let this play until something interesting happens.

So the plot of this is that a faith healer uses fake holy water for his miracles, and he is a fraud. It's obvious, and making me hanker for Moses Gunn in that episode of Tales from the Crypt. At this point I'm surprised they have an African American as a villain, I mean to be fair the first segment did. I'm forgetting already.

Clarence Williams III comes out of nowhere and knocks out the pastor, who's name is Bishop Love. Apparently Fazion doesn't talk much about his conniving brother. Anyhow, this is about the kidnapper's daughter dying, owed to the faith she put in Bishop's false faith.

Also the kidnapper knows voodoo now, plaguing Bishop with imperfections fraudulently dealt with.

Okay, think we have one more, right after the wraparound. Things go all occult real fast. I consider Jesus to be my lord and savior, but at the same time I'm so desensitized to basic horror this just doesn't phase me.

Thy Will Be Done

...if it ever starts. They linger on the summoning scene. Wait, is this the final segment? No, that would've been a neat little twist.

I assume this story is about pregnancy or something related? She gets kidnapped out of nowhere, and this turns out to be... a pro-abortion tale I'm sure, so I'm gonna go look for spoilers. She claims the baby isn't a good thing, and the ending is what you'd expect, so fuck it, I'm done.

Final Thoughts

This is one of the most condescending movies I have ever sat through. It wears its views on its sleeve and does nothing with them. All this does is validate the worst possible stereotypes right wingers thrown at the other side, all in a crappy d-movie package. I'd respect this more if it handled its topics with the proper care and didn't reduce them to the most useless degrees.

Rusty Cundieff has never been able to land much of a break since Tales from the Hood, and this is an example of why, along with Tales from the Hood 2 and 3 if you wanna go that far. I could've been doing homework, yet I watched this movie. This wasn't worth it at all.

LTA: The Unknown Legacy of MoBrosStudios/Retrospective

 It's interesting to think that 2013 will one day be but a decade ago. Things that were new to us, will hold as much nostalgic value as more conventional mediums. It got me thinking about the YouTubers I used to follow, in 2013/2014... and how a stark majority of them turned to shit. Angry Video Game Nerd? On the borderline. Nostalgia Critic? Need I say more? Sonic93? Stopped watching her before she came out with those videos. Bobsheaux? Is someone ever gonna question the ethics behind charging money for most reviews? Taco Man? More of the same, but his humor is somehow more cringeworthy than Oney's.

There was one exception to the rule and one I actually anticipated more above the other. The first YouTube Poop I saw... was some CatDog poop I saw by accident when I assumed you could find full episodes on YouTube. The second... was also something fairly random. Even before them I remember stumbling across some old Simpsons YouTube Poop. But it was the third, by MoBrosStudios.

What stood out to me the most about MoBros, aside from my first exposure to high end editing in YouTube Poops, is that he had an established personality. While most Poopers tend to let their work speak for itself, at least earlier on, I had a good sense of who MoBros was. Other poopers had also tried this, like NPCarlson and Trudermark, who wanted to express his personality toward some adolescents.

Have his poops stood the test of time? No shit they did. While AwfulFawful/Scat Rat had overshadowed MoBros, he stood out for a different reason, plots. He had crafted his own narratives for his poops, produced his own animation (or edited it well enough to make it look that way), and Skellington's Revenge is an example of how well he does it.

He has talent, but how well has he affected the public conscious?

Drawback

I maintain MoBros is talented, but there are some issues that can go beyond his YouTube Poops. Though one thing for that, I imagine he borrowed a lot of points from Stuart K. Riley's own listicle, he just framed it differently to avoid more detailed comparisons.

Things to look out for are the same examples used when dissuading poopers from using their own voice; I mean then again it's so uncommon and that's the most notable example. There're also points like dissuading usage of Spadinner/dinner spaghetti, but one thing I gotta give MoBros credit for is that he used a better term for it, but wait didn't Stuart use that term at one point before?

Also feel like Stuart made a better point on using long titles than MoBros, and also, both made the argument that too much unedited footage was the worst offense. Also don't use Windows Movie Maker's rainbow effect, both made that clear.

I won't call him a plagiarist, but it's obvious where his inspiration lies.

Also, a quick opinion on his Creepypasta readings, looking back on them, others did it better. Something about Mutahar and Yuri's level of not giving a damn better suits how expendable many of these pastas are. The worst thing you can do with Creepypasta readings is be relatively serious about it, it's a bad reflection of your character. Good pastas of the past either aged poorly or people read between the lines.

Selling Out

Some may recognize MoBros for his Anim8ball series. Can you guess what it entails? I've noticed a little trend with many content creators. At one point, they relegate themselves to doing reviews almost all of the time. Just Stop did this, and I feel he's becoming as corporate as he implies Santa Inc to be. I Hate Everything is all about movies these days, just don't expect insight on new movies, just the same tired examples over and over again.

This became at least 80% of MoBros' brand, with the other being any time he puts toward YouTube Poops. I'm not saying he sold out as bad as the other two, but it's something to keep in mind for later on.

MoBros is perhaps best known for making three reviews related to SpongeBob SquarePants. Three... particularly scathing reviews. Now yes, he did address these and apologize for them, but I'm not gonna hound him over something in the past as if it occurred in the present, otherwise I'd be DaftPina. I want to make it clear I'm going into his legacy.

MoBros didn't necessarily like the newer seasons of SpongeBob, well new for the time. Back then, I actually shared the sentiment. Something about them struck a nerve with me, and part of what got me into MoBros. in the first place was a sense of validation that I wasn't the only one who hated the episodes. 

I question if he was the first, but MoBros' videos certainly helped make cartoon reviews more popular, if not eschewing a new wave of it, and therein lies the problem. With popularity comes influence, and just to make this clear, MoBros employed the angry reviewer schtick, one of the more contagious personalities. 

Why were there so many Angry Video Game Nerd wannabes? I mean he was getting pretty popular at that point, but there it is, popularity. The format is so general yet so specific, people sought to mimick what they saw in order to get some equal cred. Hell, Irate Gamer became an early YouTube partner until people whined enough to get that revoked.

Nostalgia Critic was also popular enough, and we still haven't healed much from his heyday, with so many no name reviewers following his framework near verbatim. But between Bobsheaux and Irate Gamer, the latter does not have a Patreon account, nor does he shill for Express VPN, come to think of it in spite of getting some stuff wrong he got further than the Angry Video Game Nerd in many games he played. Even if he used Game Genie I at least know IG actually played the games, and the AVGN had used Game Genie too.

I'm starting to think the AVGN always sucked.

Where was I? Oh yeah, third generation influence. One of the more infamous points of influence for MoBros was TheMysteriousMrEnter. It's been a while since I brought him up, well on this site, to account for when I used a clip from one of his videos to compare to another reviewer, but for the sake of backing my points, I gotta bring him up.

The similarities between Enter's old SpongeBob videos and MoBros' SpongeBob videos tend to be undeniable. It wasn't uncommon for feelings against the episodes to be genuine, whether it was built on agitation for content deemed passable, or overselling for comedy or to build on how it made others successful.

Anyone who's serious about content creation tends to follow trends that would get them attention in the quickest way. No shit. Take that, apply it toward something that you're either passionate about or is easy to make content around and you got yourself a basis for your soon to be vilified channel.

Enter's old content wasn't very good, that's undeniable, though his initial batch of critics were far more insufferable, just get a load of the quackpot that wrote his ED article (and ducks are a part of his brand, that's why I used such a crappy derogatory term). But my point is that MoBros certainly had a profound impact on Enter's earlier reviews, along with Nostalgia Critic.

MoBros had actually done callouts on writers in his videos, well brief mentions anyhow, like with Aaron Springer. Does that excuse anything? Not particularly, but this establishes the influence. If anything, for what Enter did, either he tried to add to what made MoBros famous, or just did it because anger was in at the time, people just overanalyzed because they wanted to establish justification for bandwagoning.

At the end of the day, it's down to influence. If what I said can be considered true, MoBros essentially doomed a reviewer to ridicule through influence. No other reviewer quite hit as hard as him before Enter, so it checks out. It doesn't help that time after, MoBros cited Enter as an example of what not to do with reviewing, ignoring any potential irony.

Final Thoughts

So, am I gonna bring someone down because they indirectly ruined someone else? I essentially just did. But the point is, while MoBros cannot be attributed to popularizing the animation community, he indirectly inspired the worst of it. I bring it up because I feel he hasn't properly addressed it, just apologizing for his own old content.

No one, no matter how big and respected, should be above criticism, and I feel that MoBros has much to answer for. It's not so much for what happened now, but what may occur somewhere down the road.

Top 5 Shows I Hate

 Yes, I have done a list compiling the worst shows there, but that's it, shows that already ranked very lowly when it came to reviews so they can technically be considered the worst. This time around, as the title clearly suggests, I want to talk about shows that struck a nerve with me personally. It may not apply to all of you, but hey, if we all abide to the same standards we'd all be making movie reviews on YouTube.

Just one quick rule, I will not feature shows that are meant to appeal to very young audiences. The only shows that'll cut it are those that can be enjoyed by old and young audiences alike. There would've only been one show featured had the rule not been incorporated, and that's some obscure bible cartoon that's the way it was because it was trying so hard to appeal to young viewers. It's so devoid of anything more I can't even do a review of it. Just know it's like a proto-Cocomelon.

Also they have to be full shows, shorts won't cut it even if they have a few parts to it. Single seasons may also apply if they're egregious enough.

With that said, let's get on with the list.

#5: MP4ORCE: Beyond Real

Once again here to remind you the worst cartoon ever exists, well, worst professional cartoon of some degree. Okay saying this is the worst cartoon ever is a stretch. As of yet, only three people covered this, myself included, and the other only briefly when discussing a different show.

What makes this show particularly detestable, is that the crux of it was used for a vanity project which happened to comprise of a revival of Reboot. Let's be real, nobody knew this show existed, so if it didn't land the first time, it wouldn't land the second, and points are docked if you try to ride off of a show people liked to begin with.

Though I never watched the original Reboot, just the fact that even this offends me shows just how vile it all is. I won't stop bringing it up every now and again until more people talk about it. But just know there is nothing to like about this show. I went into great detail on two separate occasions.

#4: Ed, Edd n' Eddy (season 5)

Now don't get me wrong, I love Ed, Edd n' Eddy, and I appreciate how fans of it are willing to call a spade when they see it, but this particular season really got under my skin. I can forgive some of the worser examples of the show's faults in earlier seasons because honestly that's what help built its charm, but I feel like the issues got more apparent by this point.

It just didn't feel the same, Kankers were far more obnoxious, Edd became borderline unlikeable, Ed has arguably lost whatever braincells he had left, Sarah and Jimmy are apparently allowed to go to high school and both are arguably the worst characters, well one above another. Since this is the only full season they go to school, it can be considered its own thing for the sake of this list.

A lot of the show's worst episodes came out at this point, from particularly bad to some of the worst. That one time Danny Antonucci gave someone else the opportunity to direct, we got the show's worst episode, bar none.

The season finale was also undone by a surprise other episode, but at least the movie helped fix things, even if the hat mystery won't ever die.

This made it on the list because it actually nearly made me hate the show. I managed to get out of that thankfully.

#3: Camp Lazlo

It was between this and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, two shows that were the earliest programs I recalled hating. Camp Lazlo won out, obviously, because you could see the number above. As someone who really liked Rocko's Modern Life, this was a big step down for the show's creator Joe Murray. The man operates backwards, as we went for a show that popularized adult innuendos in kids shows, to a show that was probably held down by executive demands, make this just like SpongeBob so we can get that crowd to watch our network.

If you recall my review of the worst Oh Yeah! Cartoons shorts, you'd see I referred to a character as being Lazloian. If you can't tell this is the show that originated it for me. Lazlo is optomistic and naive, to an insufferable degree, but I feel like there is an air of self-awareness he exhibits. This may seem insignificant, but hear me out. If someone is genuinely naive, they can't pick up on what they're doing wrong, with their good intentions being the drive. I feel like Lazlo fell into these pitfalls so many times I can't help but wonder if these are all intentional.

Why am I focusing on this so much? Well excuse me for focusing on the main character and one we should root for. If the main character sucks, then that accounts for the show as well, there's no payoff to this either. Why experience it when you know you're in for a dour journey?

#2: As Told by Ginger (season 3)

Let's be real, there's more to the show than it's art style. While Ed, Edd n' Eddy can be seen beyond its faults, As Told by Ginger is full of problems, even from the start. Either it was wasted potential or the fact that Dodie exists, and other stuff that's actually objectively bad.

I feel like things came to a head with the third season. Let's be real, Butterflies are Free should've been where things ended. Things got a little more infamous as many of the show's worst episodes are present in this season, and by the time they got to high school, things are different enough that I can call it a different show. Maybe if things did go on longer we could get some resolve to these changes.

If they were brave enough, Darren's ego would lead to his downfall and... insert plot of a Degrassi episode where Rick shoots Drake, only this time he shoots Dodie, or the other Ms. Zorski, or the vice principal, at least two of them are expendable, and not particularly likable.

This is one of the few cases where I welcome the other episodes being moved to Nicktoons to finish out their run, because if I saw these as a kid, I'd probably think nothing of it at first until I see them again as an adult and get agitated. What makes this season particularly egregious is that, let's face it, high school sucked, and marks a point in your life where you want to do stuff but they turn out to be insignificant in the long run. Is being the star quarterback or attractive meaningful if you wind up becoming a used car salesman or convicted for molesting your next door neighbor? It happens.

I give it points for being brutally honest, but either they fall into common trappings or they ramp up the negatives to the point it becomes insufferable to watch. Check out Old School Lane's list of the worst As Told by Ginger episodes, a majority of the episodes that made it on happen to have made the list, I'm pissed Stuff'll Kill Ya didn't make it, but at least people are in agreement the other Ms. Zorski is cancer wrapped in a wheat tortilla.

She and Ginger didn't have the best introduction, but it wasn't enough to justify her often vitriolic attitude. What was it? Is she jealous that her sister was preferred by Ginger (because I'd believe it, if you want to treat people like shit, that's how you'll be seen)? Is it because of racism (imagine if they actually explored black on white racism, people will go crazy)? I wish it was the latter because that's the only way I can see justification for apathy after someone literally got out of surgery. I'm serious, it was as bad as I recalled in the episode.

No matter how insignificant, a character can ruin a show for anybody, and she just built upon how uncomfortable the season was. And it showed just how weak Ginger either has become or been, why else is she still friends with Dodie? And yes, Courtney was treated horribly in this, and she was the most well developed character in the entire series.

All this season did was reaffirm just how fundamentally flawed As Told by Ginger truly was.

#1: Zoey 101

Even before the allegations against Dan Schneider came out, I was never a big fan of his shows. I don't know if it was intuition, but it's amazing what came out. I liked Josh and he suffered a lot of the time, he turned out to be a hell of a lot better than Drake, who's facing allegations himself. I didn't like iCarly mostly because of Sam, and it turns out she suffered the worst behind the scenes. Victorious... well I hated the characters I was supposed to, so it has that in its favor.

Zoey 101 particularly got under my skin. Jamie Lynn Spears has a particularly punchable face, and is certainly not up to par with her sister, who would've been seen as a joke, but now we understand the root of her turmoil, and I'm glad she managed to break from her conservatorship. She also approved some pretty smart lyrics.

But this is a case where I wound up hating everyone on the show. Everyone has a particular air of annoyance, and it felt like they were doing the right thing to feel better about their own selves. Half the time I rooted for Logan. Why did they feed him toilet water? Why did Victoria Justice throw his burger and nibble his ear? Why is Quinn potentially one of Schneiders most prominent victims which makes me reluctant to criticize her? Why is the black character one of two I like? Oh well because he's actually funny and kinda likeable. Well Chase is okay too most of the time. Blonde hair guy... James? Mitchell? Maybe it's guilt by association, he could do with better friends than Zoey and... Mithcelle? I only know Victoria Justice by name, maybe it goes to show how insignificant her character is in the longrun.

The only thing Jamie Lynn Spears is known for is getting knocked up, which plays back into the Schneider business and starring in a crappy Britney Spears biopic, along with any failed attempts at making a name for herself. One time, an MTV cartoon called Good Vibes featured a character with the same surname as Spears, she was a pregnant teenager. A one time character was a hell of a lot more likable than the actual Jamie Lynn Spears.

Can you help me better understand Zoey 101? Because I don't want to ever go back to it.