LTA: An Old Creepypasta Fan Film

 A while back I did a video deriding live commentaries, as in complete videos that just have the overlay of a few guys drowning out the cringe people would've ordinarily encountered with the actual videos. Since then, two things happened, I realized for one video now lost in its unaltered form that I only wanted to see the end of it, and that there is something I would like to sink my teeth into.

I first heard about this little film through Michael Leroi, a channel dedicated to riffing on bad Creepypastas. Now, I do like it when he and his friends riff on textual media, because it doesn't require any thought on the viewers part, but when it came to a live commentary of a Creepypasta film, watching their commentary I was like, "Can you guys shut up? I'm trying to hear the cringe." For the record, they had permission to do the commentary, I’m not saying they’re assholes, they unfortunately fit the example of what I was trying to talk about, and I kinda see what they were going for.

While written Creepypastas are certainly passe, short films based on them are interesting. I remember seeing a Sonic.EXE fan-film that not only rectified issues with the original story, but was actually pretty good. Too bad I can't find it again. But that's Sonic, for this I'm going to be entering the world of Pokemon, which is Japanese for foreign territory.

The pasta of the hour is Easter Egg on Mount Silver. This was helmed by a user known as Mibevan, who was a Brony commentator, and I bring that up because that is the most immediate observation I could make on his channel. Aside from some occasional blogs and video edits, I can't really hold him up to much. I can say that he put a lot into getting this movie out there, promotional pieces, behind the scenes stuff, you know. Look, I can forgive content that can be seen as amateur to most people, I'd bring up an example but I CaN't because I talked about it enough AS is. N. If it was just something done for fun, then fine, do whatever, but it seems he was really proud of this and wanted it to be seen as something legitimate, so I have to hold it to the standard he aimed for.

He declared this to be feature length. Okay, the standard for feature length is 40 minutes, how long does his movie last? A little over half an hour. The fifth Alpha and Omega is longer than this, even if a majority of the runtime is padded out with clips from older movies. Hell, we may even have less minutes on this if you remove the credits and opening logos. I mean what does he have to gain with the claim? What’s the point, or the joke if so?

Before going into this, I'd like to point out that I haven't read the story myself, I will not levy criticisms toward it, rather how it is executed here, but don't get me wrong, if shit's foul I gotta open that window. I’ll be periodically looking at the story at different points to see who guffed.

That said, grab some popcorn, grab a soft drink, and most importantly, get your Creepypasta ballcap, I mean you can't watch a Creepypasta movie without a Creepypasta ballcap.

Movie time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7e5fJW5dRQ&t=1s

One thing I gotta admit is that Bevan's production company logo has decent animation. I suppose any effects presented here won't be low quality, just ridiculous. Also, because the one commentary I saw of it were confused, apparently the Creepypasta wiki had some involvement with it, I guess. Jeff the Killer happened to be the face of Creepypasta (well at least it wasn't Sonic.EXE).

Either that or this is some Night Chronicles bullshit.

If you didn't know what Pokemon was, you get a sum-up of how big it is. This would be outdated now because everyone knows about Pokemon and how big it is. After a Spaxian sum-up of what Pokemon is, we get a forced setup for the creepy nature of this story. By the way, this wasn't part of the original pasta, bet Ol' Bevan thought he was being cute here.

Skipping three minutes of runtime to avoid the credits, I see "Directed from the mind of Evan Bernardi". That just sounds so wrong. It would fit better during the production credit crawl, sans "Directed". Or here, you could just say "Directed by Evan Bernardi". All I got from this was confusion, and a decent enough recreation of Lavender Town's music. Best case this would be for a cheap laugh, but it seems too obvious.

Now we get into the story proper, and compared to Michael and his team, with six bars on my volume, from a laptop that is eight years old, I can hear the narrator just fine. Narration is a mixed bag for me, but it kinda works here as this is a retelling of the story. However, it can work the other way too. Rather than just read the story and show the footage, well, actions speak louder than words, and it has prevailed for some of the Sonic.EXE fan films I watched.

Credit where it's due, in the context of this, the narration isn't intrusive and the story itself is subtle enough to where things don't seem like they're repetitions through actions of what was said. That didn't come out right, did it? Oh yeah, and I have the feeling I’m about to eat my words real soon.

Now here's the part where I rag on the actors in this for sounding like ass, but I won't. I've taken part in a student film for a college program years ago, I mean all I did was appear in the background, you cannot get A+ performances out of students just seeking to make a serviceable project. Compared to something where equipment like boom mics are readily available, this doesn't have that. Worst case, you'd just dub the audio, but I think they would've made this worse. For now, I feel you have to listen real close to hear what is said, and for your reward, you get clunky dialog.

Moving on, we get our cursed item, our disc with black marker scribbling, our rom hack link, our cursed cartridge... an ordinary Game Shark.

Apparently our lead doesn't know how Game Shark works. Probably wished she had a Game Genie for the original Game Boy, it'd be impossible to lose the manual for it, but wait, it's just the implementation of codes, I mean I guess, I probably know as much as they do.

I'd make a crack about Tommy Wiseau, but I'm sick to the back teeth of that joke, no matter how tempting it is with mini Logan Paul here. And no, the dialog scenes aren't part of the actual Creepypasta.

So, the Game Shark winds up fucking up Blake (the guy)'s cartridge. Remember kids, cheaters never prosper, or perhaps the game nuked itself to prevent Blake from entering the "Blake Paul win Pokemon Every Time" code, the villain of the hour's SOL. Uh... I can explain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9ybA1NYNzY

I'd say Blake's being over-dramatic about fucking up his game, now sure I like games that people would claim to grow out of, though that is getting less and less apparent nowadays, but I don't take them as seriously as others do, lest I'm doing a review.

Apparently the girl was so traumatized by what happened to her brother that she vowed to never use Game Shark again, and nothing of note happens beyond the narration, the idea the girl is not a fan of shoes or socks, and nothing else. I did say I wasn't going to criticize the actual Creepypasta, and now I'm paying the price.

Oh wait, I found something. Something quite silly and amateurish. They pasted game footage over a Game Boy Advance screen. That time I ragged on KingMasterReview, credit where it's due he didn't actually own the game he reviewed, but here, that red cart for Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire is present clear as day, and they couldn't be bothered to record the screen? I mean, worst case you'd blow a few dollars to get a GameCube and a Game Boy Player so it'd be easier to map footage onto a stationary screen, but this, what they do, I can't ignore.

My best guess is that they wanted to demonstrate how good the girl is at Pokemon, but couldn't capture the actual ending in the act, and I'm like, why not leave it to our imagination? It couldn't look any worse.

Blake soon comes flying in, I mean he knocked first, and he found their old Pokemon games. I mean to be fair it was said the house was cleaned out and he found them. He had a change of heart with the Game Shark apparently, which is real convenient for the plot, either that or he took some time to grow up. Spoilers, he's gonna get the plot really going.

Also, cows in what looks to be a middle-class neighborhood, in Florida. I feel like the initial writer wanted to flex their Pokemon knowledge and skill for how it's written, and there goes that promise. Oh look, an improvised scene where a jogger runs past the girl. Was that important? He certainly thought it was.

And naturally, things go wrong, for murder is in the air. Blake Paul, you are accused of murdering several innocent Game Boy cartridges, we call one of many odd creatures hanging on the door as a witness.

So, girl goes outside for a few seconds for some reason, lest it was to avert suspicion, and lo and behold, she sees the scattered remains of the games. Spoiled it.

Upon seeing Blake, a thought comes to mind... imagine if he was a Sonic fan. He'd probably give Paul Rhodes a run for his money.

In Blake's head he's like "How's Misty? How's Misty?"

Now, I tried to be fair about the low quality acting in this, but with how serious Bevan was about this and how the actors are trying to be, it's starting to break me.

Blake sees a Game Boy Advance and chucks it, the lack of backlighting on it was just too terrifying for one who was spoiled with a Game Boy Advance SP. How could he even tell a Pokemon game was in it, lest this is a Pokemon family goddamnit, every other game be damned.

Is it time to complain about improper GBA footage? The footage is once more pasted over the GBA screen, and it shows that of the intro for Pokemon Gold Version. Now yes, it was a Game Boy Color game and the lighting may not immediately reveal what the cartridge is supposed to look like, but again, it's a Game Boy Color game, as in one that has a different start-up than what was on the original Game Boy.

If Rerez tackled fan projects he'd have a field day.

I take it Blake prefers Silver Version, given his reaction to it and that he would sooner kill his sister to not put up with it. Yes I know he was going for the game. She is a true Pokemon fan, as she'd sooner die than let a copy of Pokemon get destroyed.

He gets committed because destroying Pokemon games is a sign of insanity, either that or he just snapped because of the horrors he and he alone witnessed. I gotta say, the psych wards in Florida are pretty casual, it's almost as if they recorded this at a friend's house. I mean they take it seriously enough to bring in the destroyed cartridges to analyze, and yes, that is part of the story, and apparently her mom's idea. I think I found Ash's aunt Hillary.

Anyway, unnecessary flashback to something that happened only a minute or so ago. It was so tacky that I decided to zone out for a while until something interesting happens... which isn't for long. Blake is starting to look less like a young Logan Paul and more like Randy Stair. Not helping that both were from Florida. Yikes.

So Blake tells the girl to get rid of the Pokemon games still intact, and she does as she is told, allowing a chance for Blake to return to some form of normality one he is let out. Now, if it played out like that, well we wouldn't have a story now would we? No, instead the girl is another one of those Creepypasta protagonists who put themselves through things they normally wouldn't, because curiosity is contagious. She admits it herself even.

At this rate Blake has become the more sensible one, the Kyle if you will. He even likes Ed, Edd n' Eddy, guy has good taste.

Also at this point I'd like to bring up a big issue with the translation of a Creepypasta to film. The pasta is written in a way that you can easily imagine what is happening and seen. We see the stuff said in the story on film, yet we get the narration reaffirming it. It comes off as quite redundant, and is only gonna get worse once we get to the game played.

Have some faith in the audience, we can see what happens, we don't need the narration to reaffirm it.

Also, Blake scribbled out a code, and she is able to read it from the back. It is so clear that the numbers aren't even flipped the other way. Lest this code was so secret Blake wrote it in a fashion only he could decipher, this is a goof that overtakes any other. After repeating what she heard in a flashback, seconds apart from one another mind you, she makes a remark about how snow was not possible at this time where they're at... after it was established he went mad over a Pokemon game.

By the way, this is something that was present in the original story.

Also by the way, we're only 14 minutes in.

So she starts the game, adjusts the volume in an attempt to levy the weight of stupidity of not listing to her brother. But hey, it looks like they managed to fix the footage format, only problem is that it led to a new wave of incompetence. You see, footage is playing on the GBA, that is for sure, she got to the first menu and selected start, but there is a telltale sign that can be found on the right. If you haven't guessed by now, they plated GBA footage over a still image of the girl holding the GBA.

What the actual fuck?

Oh they knew, which is why they showed a crop shot of the image the next time we see the screen, it doesn't fix shit though. This is quite the advertisement for Game Boy Players. I'll give them this, it gave me an idea for a video.

She turns up the volume to set up one of the creepy payoffs to the game, and now the elements of the original Creepypasta game are shown. To avoid the risk of repeating myself, I'll be skipping a bit here, but not the actual video, want to try and be as fair as possible. But just keep in mind, this is your typical weird things happen in a game one's familiar with and you're supposed to feel scared things.

Why should I go over common conventions of video game creepypastas when everyone and their mother talked about them countless times before? Credit where its due, the visuals match-up well, if only because there was an actual romhack made based on the pasta, and they had access to it. The narration is still intrusive though, and it's hard for me to ignore.

So blah blah blah, Pokemon die, there's no way out, things seem weird, and her considering an "X" to be scary suggests she would be a big fan of the Sonic.EXE stories. That or it's her least favorite letter in the alphabet. Also seeing the dead Pokemon, they're not hyper-realistic, granted, but not as scary as they're trying to make it out to be. Pokemon is a big part of people's lives, but even then there're very few those would make emotional attachments to, at least enough to match this girl's.

Compared to Tom though, she didn't come to the conclusion this was a hacked game.

Also, obligatory loud noise. Those didn't even make me jump, just saying.

And while I'm here, it'd be more symbolic if playing the game had the same impact on Blake as it did in real life. Just saying. There'd be no excuse for her not to play the game, he would've just died under mysterious circumstances and she would gradually unravel the mystery.

And apparently having a close eye to the speaker was so complicated that we needed to have a still image to represent it. There're simple alternatives that even filmmakers with bare basic equipment and skills can pull off. Just saying. I've just been saying a whole lot.

The girl's audio is so low, yet the story itself is so bare basic I don't even care to go back and have a closer listen. Also on the off chance they decide to blare more loud audio.

Also "Pokemon died instead of fainted." I smell derivatives.

To hammer in the emotional impact or scariness the pasta had gone for, who do you think they have as the big creature of the hour? Pikachu. Because who else could it be? Let me tell you, seeing the others mangled was apparently fine and dandy, but she has to amp it to eleven upon seeing Pikachu this way.

Oh, but Pikachu's happy enough, just as much as Sonic.EXE. Nothing scarier than happiness I guess.

But then, Destiny Bond. It suits the context I guess, but let's see how this goes.

Poorly.

We get our obligatory(?) breakdown and shrill noise, with a slight sprinkle of "Taking this seriously". Also he's under the assumption that Pikachu sprite is scary, when sensible people have been desensitized ever since Sonic.EXE. It's just annoying, and unintentionally silly. Especially when we see the director try and animate its mouth opening.

Remember, this is supposed to be scary, not making fun of how stupid many Creepypastas are, but as a legitimate horror. I'd quit now, but I'm only four minutes away from the end credits.

The girl casually saunters off and briefly sprints before resuming the saunter and sprinting again to a trash can, and the neighbors see her yell at a trash can.

"Steve, honey, that crazy girl's yelling at the garbage can again."

"That tears it we're moving to Kansas."

I'll give it this now, unlike Sonic Genocide City, the game somehow doesn't effect other ones, she can continue her Pokemon obsession in peace... until she breaks down for some reason- wait, she's still on about the cursed game?

So a news report plays, and they imply the girl went nuts and killed her family, until I remember that Blake is the younger brother. Way to overlook a good opportunity guy.

And, happy enough ending, except they state they had no idea who made the code, and nobody cared enough to bother looking, I know I didn't. Oh, and she doesn't want to play hacked games ever again, not after the experience she had. Hint hint. Also it's snowing, guess it's meant to be symbolic or something, but at least they had a stated 7 month jump to the right month for it.

In case you have a one minute memory span, they throw text reaffirming that the creator of the code was never found. 

And that's it, there's still the closing credits, but there's a line to draw between Lavender Town, and people trying to add lyrics to it, also forced jumpscare.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, that wasn't very good. If there was irony in this, it was lost on me. I don't know if Bevan did this for the sake of getting reactions, I don't know if the ambition lied in the prospect of making a short film for the first time. This may be for laughs, but what is the punchline? This feels like it's played entirely straight, and went the way it did because that's just how the director wanted it. If this was meant to be a stab at the original pasta, the worst of this short film were unfortunately ideas implemented by the director. I would meet it halfway if it were just a straight retelling, but even that's generous. It's not the worst thing I ever saw, but if this is legitimate, there is so much wrong with it.

This film reaffirmed why there should always be a clear contrast between visual and textual mediums. People who'd go into this would have likely read the pasta first, and even if not, they could tell what is going on through the details alone. Even if you're learning about Pokemon for the first time, you can at least follow the narrative. I'm just saying, I've seen Sonic.EXE fan films and they don't rely on narration, at least the ones I've seen.

Now look, if this was based on something like Blood Whistle, a pasta so hamfisted and awful even from the text alone, then it'd be easier to see the irony in the whole thing, trying to play an unintentionally hilarious and melodramatic story straight and we can see how silly it is visually.

But as is, there are too many problems for me to immerse myself in an ironic way. The special effects are below what competent skills with MS Paint could get you, I've seen better special effects in videos by Irate Gamer and Spax3, those are second bananas to what are meant to be reviews. This is a short film, one reliant on special effects.

I can forgive stuff that downplays the intended effect, effect to scare that is, but I can't ignore stuff like how poorly the Game Boy Advance footage was handled. Beyond playing the actual game and one instance of progressing a scene, some of the GBA scenes could be nixed entirely. If it was a lighting issue, a Game Boy Advance SP was the best way to go. If this was to demonstrate Pokemon prowess, it seems to be negligible. If it were up to me, I'd hunt for a GameCube and a Game Boy Player just to make things easier.

I dogged on Michael Leroi for doing an obnoxious live commentary, and for that I apologize, the commentary makes it easier to go through the film a second time.

I think I just made an enemy.

Melody Rules review

 Hey, it's been a while. I've given myself a month decompress and return without my biases in tow, and hopefully from there on I can go into new reviews with a cleaner attitude. Today, I figured I'd go into something infamous, but not as widely known to modern generations, well, modern generations outside of New Zealand. If you read the title, those from the area may know where this is going.

I have a lot to unpack with this, so hang tight.

Background

Melody Rules is a sitcom that originated in New Zealand, one of the first produced for one of their bigger networks, TV3. And it has a particular reputation, oh, not much, just the fact that it is often considered to be one of if not the worst things ever associated with the country. Only thing worse is Colby James.

When looking into a summation of the show's history, it reminded me of another sitcom, The Trouble With Tracey. Hear me out, both are sitcoms that were produced in different countries. They were often firsts for the networks that aired them. More episodes were only aired due to underlying obligations (though New Zelanad was more merciful in that we had a two episode first season and a six episode second). They are seen as nothing more than embarrassments and jokes in their respective countries (that is, until Elvira Kurt edged Tracey out). Oh, and both attempted to mimic conventions popular in American sitcoms.

This should go without saying, but it is absolutely necessary to bring up. When countries try to adapt the humor of shows from different countries into their programs, 9 times out of 10 it would play out poorly. There is no better example to turn to than American adaptations of British shows, notably Coupling, Payne (Fawlty Towers), Amanda's by the Sea (also Fawlty Towers), but don't get me wrong, the reverse comes in equal measure, just look at Days Like These (That 70s Show) and The Brighton Bells (The Golden Girls)

The Office is an exception, feel like making that clear.

When it comes to shows like Trouble with Tracey and Melody Rules, there are issues beyond regional differences. Aspects such as the lower budget, schedule and even the experience of the actors brought on can also play into the show failing in the eyes of the public. Still though, what would make international shows work is the representation of their own cultures and interests, even their sense of humor. I get British shows are more dry and witty, and Australian shows are more quirky. This is the first show I will see produced entirely within New Zealand, and if any of you are from the area, you're welcome to point me to shows that best reflect the interests of your country.

Let's make it clear, Melody Rules was a disaster. It was so bad that it became a title used to deride other bad sitcoms. Sufficed to say, the show was so bad that no other attempt to replicate American sitcoms was made by New Zealand programs, and basically either killed or put various actors careers on hold. Some of which were able to get out of this, though any notable roles would be restricted to New Zealand productions. Jodie Rimmer is an exception, appearing in productions like Young Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess, though mainly because those were shot on-location in New Zealand.

It was so bad for two other actors, Belinda Todd and Alan Brough that both fled from their country to Australia, and have stayed there since. Unless at some point they returned, who knows?

When it came time to air the show, only a few episodes were broadcast before the remainder were burned off in early morning slots.

Production

Most shows are either produced in-house by networks, but for here we got a producer and network assistance. Ross Jennings was the show's producer, and had also handled another first for New Zealand, namely the country's first reality show. Basically the country's equivalent to Cops or America's Most Wanted. The show seemed to have derailed his career for nearly a decade before he resurfaced for a few more stints. Jennings would pass away in 2016, rest in peace.

Along with a general production company, this show followed a principle akin to most countries, funding through tax credit programs. In this case, it is New Zealand on Air. They even say this program was "made with the help of your broadcasting fee." It may not sound like much, but look at it like this. It is one thing to pay to see a crappy movie, you feel like you got ripped off. But, to know your money was put toward making something crappy, you not only feel ripped off, but you feel the weight of having to contribute to its funding.

This philosophy can apply to crowdfunding as a whole. Stuff like the Angry Video Game Nerd movie and Mighty No. 9 were funded almost entirely through it, and both turned out to either not meet expectations, or were awful in their own right. Backers not only feel ripped off, but terrible that their money was put toward something they had faith in.

Just saying, tax dollars, carriage fees or however New Zealand handles it, being put toward making something like Melody Rules should not be taken lying down.

Also this was apparently a very cheap show to make. Going from an uploader of an episode's take, it was shot in a small studio near the newsroom of the network it aired on, a triple camera setup, with one mounted on a truck use for outside broadcasts. I mean, what better type of show to be shot on a budget than a sitcom? And this reaffirms a similarity to The Trouble with Tracey.

But enough about that. I'm gonna check out an episode of the show to see how it stacks up to a modern viewer. To avoid the obvious, I'm gonna go for a later episode of the show. The first episode is available, but split into two parts, and I have no idea how much of it has been cut out.

Is Melody gonna Rule or is Melody gonna Suck?

Follow along right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2fzf2K1Ae0

An Episode

Before going into the episode proper, I'd like to establish the structure so you'd know what to expect. As this show makes use of tropes in American sitcoms, they would feature a premise to match.

In two words, dysfunctional family. I know that seems like an unfair thing to criticize, as dysfunctional families were initially made to mock more idealized portrayals of American families. However, whether it be due to easy implementation or building on comedic potential, it has become the new norm. If it seems like I'm jumping the gun, Todd plays a travel agent who puts up with her dysfunctional siblings. Remember, this uses American sitcom aesthetics as its basis.

I would say it may be down to how the humor is executed, but American sitcoms have become a joke in and of themselves. They are easy to make, are ideal for midseason replacements, have frameworks that can be easily replicated, use laugh tracks and bare basic physical comedy worst case, and have the unfortunate luxury of clashing with differing perspectives of humor aligned to a certain country. It's not even a matter of bringing the worst of it to a new environment, the best way to make it work is to make it your own.

So, upon establishing how it could go wrong, let's finally see how the episode handles such tried tropisms.

Double Scotch, I may need a round of that if the episode is as cringe as it's made out to be. So the intro, I give it immediate credit for not cooking up a cheesy song to use during it, though the camera sound effect is not very balanced compared to the music. Not to mention, the finisher really calls in the vibe of a sitcom whose universe is detached to contemporary reality.

Also apparently the entire show takes place inside of a refrigerator. They seem to put more effort in the title graphics, as the producer credits have their own dedicated animation. Now it does look unique, but a little much. The credit text below is negligible, and thus had maintained a plain look in many other shows like it. People's interests need to be kept toward what's happening on screen. Just saying.

So we get our first taste of canned laughter, and it is very awkward. They tried to play it after Melody said "It doesn't fill me with confidence." and, there's a lot I wanna say. Firstly, the line wasn't funny to begin with. Even for its artificial use, laugh tracks are typically played when a joke is clearly implied. Second, because of poor acting on Todd's part, or the script, it suggests that they put in a laugh track just for the sake of mimicking American sitcoms, without understanding what made them work in the first place.

I mean to be fair the next time they try to put in a laugh track, it fits better than the first, even if the joke wasn't enough to get a rise.

Initial thoughts thus far, nothing is particularly interesting. This was in the mid-90s and seemingly ditched the goofy styles had in earlier years, though the acting is somehow a mix between hammy and "I've been lifted from an entirely different genre or format and I must power through." But, Melody's just uninteresting so far. She still doesn't rule though.

The one blonde character is giving me C.C. Babcock vibes. I'll see if you can figure out what I'm referencing. Her name is Fiona, I believe, and from what I learned, lest it's the name of a princess who turns into an ogre, either she'll break the heart of a guy who would wind up trying to get it with a German girl, or be forced into the throws of a generic tale of betrayal. Or is a kick-ass singer from the 90s.

Sorry, wanted to delay the fact that we get a Scottish guy who not only acts the part, but looks it too. Okay, I can buy Scottish portrayals, some stereotypes are true for most nationalities, I'm just saying it doesn't fill me with confidence.

Suddenly a guy comes in wearing a dress. This might have something to do with an initiation brought up early on, but I feel when sitcoms feature males in dresses, not even about trans representation, just regular guys wearing dresses to be funny. According to Jim, DiResta, American Nightmares, this. It's a very obvious joke, and there's no telling how well it'd fly in this day and age.

So yeah, initiation, I smell a moral, from several yards.

Anyways, we go to another female, Zoe I believe, listening to Moby in anticipation for Southside to finally begin. Fiona comes in, remembers she is supposed to feel agitated, and it turns out the Scottish guy fled back to his homeland. And apparently he was needed for a special even tonight. So, they gonna go for the ol' switchero? Yes, they are.

They get what is said to be the Scottish guy's double for fifty bucks, huh, I got a few fifties on me, I could use a few favors.

So back to the initiation thing, if you were thinking it would lead to one of them having to prank their brother, you've seen one too many sitcoms. But yes, that's what's going down.

Nine minutes in, and Melody is feeling like a complete slog. I was halfway done, but I couldn't finish it. I give up.

Final Thoughts

So, is Melody Rules the worst sitcom ever? Er, scratch that, is it the worst thing to come out of New Zealand? Well, I can't answer that. I never had much experience with New Zealand's programs, and this is certainly an unfair way to judge them as they were going for an aesthetic well out of what they're familiar with.

Going into this, I had the sense that the actors were trying their best to pull through in spite of a lack of faith in the product. It's like forcing yourself into an ill-fitting dress that you never even wanted to wear in the first place. Going into this, I have to wonder, what sitcoms did the writers use as the basis for this show? Was it just the first one they could find?

Now, I can buy it if this is a satire of American sitcoms and their respective tropes, but this was just a poor translation of an American style sitcom, and if this was the network's first sitcom ever, why have it be like this? With no nuance or a sense of irony?

While this may seem like a general low quality sitcom, and while I cannot speak on behalf of New Zealanders that had watched this in the first place... send Belinda Todd my regards.

Indefinite Hiatus

 I have been getting a lot more heated in my posts. If I had kept going I would've been facing some serious pushback. It woudn't even be something I can walk away from, because I have the lingering sense something else would build up and I'd be returning to find things were worse than when they began. I don't want to dwell on it.

So at this rate, I'm not gonna be doing any new reviews for a while. Last few days I felt I was driven by what aggravated me that day. Let me tell you, it's not pleasent, and I'd have no one to blame but myself. Not even for risking pissing off the wrong person, but letting my emotion drive me to how I conduct myself when I write my posts. Even then, I've been running very dry with review topics, and I can't do more notable stuff justice.

As I determine what stuff I wanna cut out of my life going into the future, I'm not gonna be making any new written posts, well no written posts beyond short posts promoting non-dA stuff. It was gonna come to an end at some point, whether I invariably move on or decide to quit. I will try to be more active on YouTube, as long as school does not become too hectic. I'll still be around to comment though, this is no woe is me thing, this is a sign of awareness of what gives me the most unpleasant feelings these days. But that is not what this post is for, that's an answer to a question to be inevitably asked.

And with that, I hope something positive can come of this. Props to those who've been following me to this point, stay tuned for the occasional status post.

The Barney Knock-off from Years Ago

 I have a problem. I want to pour my soul about drama relating to Irate Gamer from years ago, but I may be signing my own death warrant doing so, as in, becoming like MrEnter and having a crappy meme tied to me. Not to mention I'd be doing what the creator of a hate blog wants, and that is recognition for wasting thirteen years of his life. Not to mention, sensible people don't even remember Irate Gamer. I don't know what to do...

Oh, Chadtronic posted a new reaction vid? Piggly Wiggly? I've heard that name on an episode of Hotel Hell, they made a TV show? This was made during the heyday of Barney the Dinosaur? Wait, Ricky's Room? This seems interesting, I'll just see what the people have to say- Rip-off allegations? Holy shit, a sign.

So anways, Barney the Dinosaur, he was a dinosaur sensation. For a time people absolutely hated the character, his show and what he stood for. If you were a grown adult who still liked Barney, that was basically like asking people to harass you. Just ask Tooner1994, or Jeremy Crispo, or some other obscure commentary target from years ago that I know about for some reason.

It was big then, but it looks like that stigma died down years ago. SpaceHamster, game reviewer, admitted outright to having a nostalgic connection to Barney, and he hasn't been MisAnthroPony'd. Not doing anything? Well, remember BlackBusterCritic, and that time he reacted to a Barney fan's comments? Said Barney fan resurfaced with a documentary relating to Barney, albeit on an indefinite hiatus, and it has been recognized by staffers from the show, and well-recieved by audiences.

So yeah, Barney is no longer the dinosaur sensation he was, nor was he part of my childhood.

But you're not hear for that...

Ricky's Room.

It's no surprise that Barney had quite a lot of influence back then. It got to the point people attempted to cash in on the show's success with their own sensations. Stuff like Bloopy's Buddies came out, but is not really that known, Dream Bunny basically shit its pants before it became accessible... I don't know any of the rest.

Ricky's Room was a Canadian production, handled entirely in-house by a dedicated production unit. The only company involved with it I know about was its home media distributor, Ventura Distribution, which basically released lower end DVDs, probably for cheap. I know this show was produced in Ontario, and it seems that's the place for lower budget productions, and lower effort. It was the same place Turning Red was set, no wonder it sucked such balls.

I don't recognize any of the actors listed as constants on IMDb, the only one of note, Ron Sparks, is notable because he lent his voice to Crash Canyon, a Canadian Family Guy clone that ToonGrin covered ages ago.

Two out of three actors with their faces shown had gone on to appear in partisan productions. I mean they were already dumb enough to appear on this show apparently. But wait, I found one, Jake Epstein would go on to appear in episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation.

What's interesting is that this show turned up on the same place as Barney, PBS, even getting reruns on Sprout in later years. They said it aired on NTV years ago, but it sounds like an obscure network. I tried cross-referencing as much as I could to determine it, but let's just move on. I know in Canada it aired on CTS Television, which is currently a religious service. Just throwing that out there.

So...

Follow along here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyfiSP78fCw&t=1489s

To establish where rip-off allegations come into play, Barney makes use of a simple aesthetic. A costumed character interacts with a bunch of kids, dealing with basic issues and singing songs. I brought this up in my KingMasterReview journal, you can't base your influence on someone or something already distinctive. It would be harder to establish a disconnect between the show itself, and what it's based off of.

The only major distinction is the use of rhinos, rather than dinosaurs. Yay, you did the bare minimum. Any differences would be inconsequential to discuss, for the similarities are too obvious to pass up. Well for one difference, I suppose Ricky's pals aren't portrayed as younger than him, like for Baby Bop and BJ.

I'm looking at one episode now, and I will only single out bits and pieces that definitely scream Barney, like how Ricky speaks in a similar fashion to Barney. I hold no high expectancies for the kids in this, but they manage to strike the perfect balance between ham and actual talent. I found out who Jake Epstein played, the blue shirt kid, and yeah, he's the best actor in this, I can tell.

Two minutes in, and so far it's not too annoying, especially since we get our first song, which is bearable, even if the lyrics are ass. The show is incredibly low budget, I can tell. Taking one look at it you'd think this came out in the mid-90s, but no, this actually came out in 1999.

Speaking of Ricky's pals, one of them comes in, Harold the hippo, who straight up looks like Charlie Tuna from Foodfight, or just gives me those vibes.

So the plot of this episode is that Ricky and the gang are looking to solve mysteries, and decided to do one relating to Harold's packed schedule. Place your bets, is this gonna turn out to be a surprise Harold had planned for the gang? I mean, I get what they're going for, but sometimes you gotta be respectful and take it as a given. Some friends you'd be if you complicate another's life because they had no time for your shenanigans. This would be a good time to teach something like patience or respecting someone's privacy or wishes. Just saying.

To be fair, I do like how one friend offers a suggestion he's just busy doing a personal project, and it's not immediately written off, saved by the doorbell.

Ricky soon meets his... sister? Nicky. Hi Ricky, hi Nicky, where's Dicky and Dawn?

But hold my thought on the Harold subplot, I missed the title of the episode. It seems this episode may be about helping find the owner of a toy truck left behind in the park. I can respect the intent behind this, working to help bring back things lost, or I'm giving too much credit to a preschool show.

But right now, it feels like they're trying to hammer in educational tidbits to justify its placement in educational schedules. If that doesn't sound bad, they wind up doing a song about construction work. I am starting to really feel like quitting, but instead.

Two minutes later...

Basically alluded to the need to return items to their rightful owners, Nicky wants to do the same. Let's modify the bet, will the toy truck be the reason Harold is so busy or just have some relation to him?

We get another song after a whole minute, and now I'm just gonna skip them. For my reward, I got a glimpse at God Rocks, which may soon becoming to a Chadtronic-like channel near you.

After a few minutes of commercials, we learn of something life-changing, lost signs you post to indicate something is lost. Never heard of such a thing in my life. Also, Rhinoriffic doesn't sound as natural as stupendous. Just saying.

It sounds like Ricky cussed, but I'm not gonna talk about it, I mean who am I? Doug Walker? He said craft by the way.

They're starting to get real annoying with the songs. After saying she found the truck in a baseball field, we get a song about the joys of baseball. Speaking as someone who considers baseball his favorite sport, I had to skip. Mr. Met, take me away.

So Harold gets back, and I'm gonna say the toy truck belongs to him. But finding out is delayed with another song.

Sensible people: Well this is kind of annoying, oh well.

MoBrosStudios (probably): Died of a stroke due to unjust anger.

We're almost there, one of the kids lost her friendship bracelet, I was half expecting them to go into a song about it, but they don't. Instead, what do you know? I was right? The truck belonged to Harold. Why am I saying this like I'm proud of figuring out a twist in a show meant for preschoolers?

I know somebody's gonna say "Oh you should not waste all this time and energy on finding a lost toy, just get a new one.", but I'm not like most people, and don't you forget it.

Also Harold found the lost bracelet, glad that was resolved, why am I glad?

And so, we get one last song, sorta like Barney, but without any semblance of being original. Barney tried something unique, or tried to do something unique, their song is straight up Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Final Thoughts

So, with all of this in mind, is this a rip-off of Barney the Dinosaur? Well, it's complicated. From a fundamental and technical standpoint, the similarities between it and Barney are undeniable. It only has just enough differences to justify clearing legal barriers. For how it ever turned up on PBS, best case it was just to replace Barney in periods they couldn't air episodes of it, or different affiliates got their hands on it.

Looking at reactions to it, it is hilarious how people were clamoring to defend Barney from it, even though they hate Barney. Is it worth going after the show if it's a rip-off of something you already hate? It's almost as if people had an attachment to Barney and were too afraid of that coming out they decided to A-Log this show.

But of all rip-off lashings, it's not the worst. I mean, it could've been a thirteen year effort that ran its course once the show lost a high honor. It could've been backed by blind loyalty to someone or something that had influence but is not this beacon of high quality. It could've been handled by faceless douchebags who would wind up turning on more prominent critics when even they knew how stupid it was to keep going. It could've inspired a YouTube group dedicated to sucking off, maybe it'd be called BarneyEmpire. It could've been populated by people who would gladly fund the construction of an atom bomb of shitty movies that pulls the intentionally bad card to avert meaningful criticisms. It could have that one guy who wasted thirteen years of his life talking about the show, and still expect to be taken seriously. It could have missed the point of an NES game because someone thought attacking the townspeople was the right thing to do when you're supposed to keep moving. It could've been something that I absolutely loved and had been tainted because the creator made so much shitty decisions, drove his friends away and let Craig Feldspar's racist cousin co-opt the entire channel. It could be something that was comforting then, but fucking stressful to think about now-

And thus Channeleven became so salty he gave himself a heart attack. But for the record this alluded to something meant for adults, we're off the Barney discussion.

But yes, Ricky's Room is a blatant cash-in on Barney the Dinosaur.

Horrible Histories Redux

 A while back I accepted a request by LDEJrufffanreturns to cover an obscure show from 2001. Looking back on it, I feel I didn't do the best job at discussing it, and ran with a misconception that is hard to overlook. I have nothing better to discuss right now, so I'm gonna take the time to right this wrong.

Background

Horrible Histories is the first adaptation of the British book series of the same name, by Terry Deary. Basically it is an educational series that portrays persons and events in funny ways.

The proximity between this and the creation of this series is not very known, but there is one thing consistent between either, the publisher. Scholastic handled distribution of the books, and as some may know already, they had their own production division. They had overseen stuff like Goosebumps, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Animorphs, which people only really remember for one particular reason.

But then again there's a stark contrast between corporations and authors, so I imagine some things got lost in the fold. Along with Scholastic, the show was also produced by Mike Young Productions. They had also produced Clifford, among other things. Mike Young Productions was best known for producing a glut of etcetera programs for many networks, many of which were international co-productions.

Basically tax shelter movies well before those happened. This was also the first show to be co-financed by Telegael, whom Mike Young worked with for later productions.

It's not exactly known where this show wound up in the United States, if at all, but to correct one big mistake, it never aired on ABC. It aired on ABC... the Australian ABC.

There is one other thing I wanna bring up, the show had two English dubs, the American one and the British one, but oddly enough the latter only took effect on two prominent characters.

To demonstrate, check out this video I made comparing them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUGemaNbXjo&t=121s

Guess the Brits really favored Billy West and Jess Harnell, or they only needed to change two characters to fulfill British standards.

The American dub is rather hard to find, while the British dub is in greater circulation, and by that, I mean I can find one dub easily on YouTube for free. One American dub episode had surfaced, and it looked as though the episode was screened by educational distributor Clearvue.

The show itself

The show featured a rather dry listing of actors, Jess Harnell, Billy West and Cree Summer. This was a practice common with most Mike Young shows recorded in America, using only a handful of actors who had enough range to cover that.

Hearing two very experienced actors, it sounds like the epitome of phoning it in. They do not sound like they want to be doing this. Now it kinda works for Billy West, who offers a dry delivery whether intentional or not, but Cree Summer isn't as fortunate in this. So I guess this is is why she was redubbed for the UK release, because her actress, even if she was just the daughter of Mike Young, did a better job.

Or maybe the luxury of hearing characters of different dialects together helps make them stand out more.

The key principle of Horrible Histories is kept, with the addition of two constant characters, Stitch and Mo. One fancies himself a comedian, the other is partly his conscious, or just the smart one. Episodes, or at least most that I've seen, follow a simple format. Stitch and Mo get put on the spot by a snobbish douche, the narrator sends them back to a time period relevant to their situation, we learn something, and they take that knowledge with them.

It works for something like an educational series, and the history portion of Horrible Histories is thankfully maintained, but I dunno, the execution of it kinda dulled any staying power it would've had. Because of its educational nature, it basically gave them a permission slip to talk about enticing subjects like shit. Though I've seen more gratuitous use of turds, had this made it to the states, I think it's bound to drive some people nuts.

But whatever, for an edutainment series, if you get educated and get entertained, at least it did its job, at the consequence of being neglected. I feel like I learned something, but the entertainment value is lacking. Maybe if more time was put into fleshing out Stitch and Mo, their plights could have far more weight to them. Or maybe if they cool it with the rimshots every time Stitch cracks a joke.

But that's not all, is it?

The one thing that stood out to me about this show is the animation. Now this, this is special. Limited animation, with characters that literally snap into place when they move, and a rather mixed art direction. I have rarely seen anything like it in shows from the new millenium. I mean, it's rare for the show to do more ambitious takes so I guess they understood how bad it may play out.

It was about a year before flash animation in television truly took off, the only thing up at the time was John Callahan's Quads. But, that's okay, it still looks a hell of a lot better than Turning Red. I'd rather see poor art direction over bean smiles in the third dimension, as well as the misfortune of seeing a very shitty movie.

So, where do I stand?

It may not have been implied, but I don't consider the show to be that good. But, it's a negligible kind of bad, it's not gonna turn any heads, there's no need to tend to it, it's not even so bad it's good, let alone a certain extent of bad. It was a blip in television history, and otherwise made because it was cheap to do so. Scholastic were more bent on getting a show based on one of their properties out, for the sake of exposure to their books, I guess it worked, who knows?

But if you wanna get your fix on Horrible Histories and don't want to hunt down the books, there was an adaptation made in 2015, itself a remake of a sketch comedy iteration from 2009, lest you'd object to watching kids shows.