Sponge on the Run Impressions

 So the third SpongeBob SquarePants movie was released on Netflix internationally, and a domestic release is due in the oncoming months. With the Netflix release in mind, clips of it have surfaced online and have gotten generally mixed reactions (though not through the like/dislike ration which veers to the positives.)

Any negative comment comes from either the "I diss family movies so I can act like I know shit" crowd, and the "muh loor" crowd.

For perspective, a few months back Nickelodeon announced they were working on a spin-off for SpongeBob SquarePants, and this movie would be a lead-in to it. I was against the spin-off, and I still am even if it's not to the same degree.

A reason why the spin-off was so infamous was because SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg made it clear he didn't want one to happen... then it did a little after he died. So this wound up striking a cord with people who assumed they operated on the same frequency as Stephen.

Anyway, the most I saw of the negative comments were people bitching about how it violated established lore. You see one comment like it, you've seen them all.

Why is this a big deal to me in spite of what I said about Kamp Koral? Sponge on the Run feels like it has some substance to it. It's a fundamentally flawed movie that's bearable to sit through. Obviously it's the worst of the SpongeBob movie trilogy, but there're far worse movies, then and now. I'd prefer this to the later SpongeBob seasons, and if you say otherwise you're clout chasing.

You can easily combat the canon violations through separations, treat this, Kamp Koral and all else as a self-contained property. If a movie is good enough to inspire that train of thought, people are overreacting.

Compared to the proposed show, if the camp aspect would've been kept to this movie it would be fine, there'd be no issue because if the show followed the movie cannon, there'd be a Krusty Krab 2.

Save the outrage for the spin-off, the movie is not worth that level of negative energy.

Street Fighter: The Animated Series

When it comes to non-game adaptations, Street Fighter has usually gotten the short end of the stick. Both of their movies are differing levels of shit, though Legend of Chun-Li is certainly the worst even on its own merits, even the games aren't pure, with home ports of the first Street Fighter being so bad that many feel Street Fighter II was the true start.

And cartoons.

I can't speak on behalf of Street Fighter's anime adaptations, though I will say Street Fighter II: The Movie was certainly kick ass. But that's because it was made in Capcom's home turf. American adaptations of Japanese games have typically led to disaster, and Mortal Kombat suffered because it was helmed by Lawrence Kassanoff, congrats that the movie isn't as shit as the other video game movies, but still.

In the 80s and 90s, video game cartoons were a dime a dozen, and many of them were crap. The Mario cartoons provided years of meme material and you know what, maybe some of you may find some ironic enjoyment out of the shows, the Mario series was never something to be taken seriously, so I can forgive the cheesy nature of the Mario cartoon, can't say the same for the Zelda cartoon, that makes me want to buy a CD-i and take a trip down to Gamelon, at least it's better than Zelda's Adventure.

I can't say I enjoy any of the Sonic cartoons, Adventures was too corny for its own good, SatAM was desperate at best and the sentiment goes to the Archie comics, Sonic Underground is only good for trolling fans of the former, Sonic X is the reason recolors exist and I have no interest in Sonic Boom, anymore.

Now while Mario and Sonic don't have a reliance on action and the platformer aspect leaves room for interpretation, it was the action games where the adaptations suffered the most. Bonus points if the game was made in Japan and has to fold under American standards and practices.

I talked about Darkstalkers a while back, and I have a feeling it's due for an update. It stands as the worst of the fighting game adaptations and for a good reason. I'd consider Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm to be a forgettable 90s cartoon, I'd sooner watch it than The Journey Begins.

I have no nostalgic background with the Darkstalkers video game, though I did play a bit of Mortal Kombat one and two on the SEGA Genesis, as with Street Fighter II, but I never considered myself a fan of either, and I never knew about any adaptation until years later. How so you probably aren't asking?

Enter The-Sw1tcher (Matt), aka the guy from Two Best Friends Play and Wha Hapun?, years before the former, Matt was just an average YouTuber, you can practically pinpoint the origins through his deviantArt account, where he published a journal detailing him starting Two Best Friends Play.

Anyhow, as an average-one, Matt posted compilations of idiotic clips from the video game cartoons I mentioned, under the (blank) Stupidity series. These are still up on YouTube, so it's just a matter of searching them up. Looking at these videos and getting a taste of these shows, I wound up binging the Darkstalkers series in its entirety, but I found myself having an aversion to the Street Fighter cartoon, and the hatred grew and grew.

Oh no, background

It seems the more infamous video game cartoons aired on USA Network back in the 90s (though it's disputable with Darkstalkers, some say it aired on UPN, some say in syndication, Matt says USA Network.) Back before USA became, whatever, they had a dedicated animation block, under differing incarnations, many of USA's animated originals were based on video games (I won't name them all, but I will say that apparently there was an animated series based on Dragon's Lair.)

The only good USA Network cartoon to air on it wasn't even within the block, it was Duckman.

Street Fighter The Animated Series is notable compared to Darkstalkers and Defenders of the Realm, in that while the latter two lasted for a single season, this managed to get two, in spite of negative reviews that have persisted.

You could assume this was just a misguided work by a small creator, but apparently this show was created full-stop by Capcom, no name on Wikipedia, no name on IMDb, does anyone even know what TV.com is anymore? But yeah, this was entirely the product of Capcom (of America I'm sure.)

The show was produced by Graz Entertainment, who was also responsible for Darkstalkers (okay and The Tick), I would say they did the animation, but their work seemed to revolve around licensing. This would only go for the first season, as by the second, they went to InVision Entertainment, this supposedly being their only hurrah as the erratic filmography gives me doubts that the same company produced them.

The change in producers is also highlighted in the outsource swaps. The first season was outsourced to Madhouse, but the second was to Sunrise. I'll get into this in a bit, but just know that Street Fighter is proof Japan can dip when it comes to animation.

The show was recorded in Vancouver at Ocean Productions (and with an additional credit to BLT Productions, I'm beginning to question their actual intent (I thought they were just another dubbing studio but apparently it's more or something.)) We have some familiar voices in this, namely Paul Dobson, Scott McNeil and Michael Donovan, but the show includes some rarely heard voices.

Tell me if you heard of them, Tong Lung, Lisa Ann Bely, Donna Yamamoto. Lung had appeared in G.I. Joe Extreme in terms of animated appearances, but is commonly found in live action roles, though all I know of him there is an appearance in The Outer Limits.

I highlighted Yamamoto and Bely in an editorial on the worst actors I ever heard, so keep that in mind.

Finally

Street Fighter II had no truly defined plot, at least that's the mindset Capcom had when developing this. So, they used the premise from Street Fighter: The Movie for this series. I would ask why bother, but this was the 90s and at the peak of Street Fighter's popularity, I guess.

Anyway, aside from going off the premise of a movie that wasn't that good to begin with, Capcom had to implement changes that did more harm than good.

How so? Well who would you consider to be the star of the game this show's based on? Ryu? Ken? Both essentially?

No, while every character got focus in the games and most adaptations, our prime protagonist in this is Guile. Just like the movie. I'd rant about how they always pick the American guy to be the lead in these shows, but Liu Kang was among one of the mains in Defenders of the Realm, at least it wasn't Johnny Cage.

Like the movie, Guile leads a team dedicated to taking down M. Bison, this consisting of Chun-Li, Blanka, Cammy and Ryu (well later on.) For the most part, Ryu and Ken are relegated to the background, they don't play a major role as often until later on.

The clip compilations I told you about earlier on didn't fill me with confidence. We have a generally serious series with idiotic execution. Would you even want to see an episode in full after having that mindset? I will say, at the very least it didn't end on a cliffhanger, I mean neither did Darkstalkers but whatever.

For perspective, there're 4-5 clip compilations made by The-Switcher, each with different clips that practically encompass the entire series. That's all the show is, stupidity.

So why don't I just spend the rest of the review talking about what stood out to me, aside from the animation which will come in the next section.

There is Cammy's ultimate betrayal, I was never a fan of betrayal, it's a desperate attempt at creating drama and is usually done when the writers throw their hands up. This had been done as well in Street Fighter II: The Movie where Cammy was brainwashed, though a similar principal happened here, I think. Teen Titans had the worst betrayal in animation, hands down.

The show is basically a meme goldmine, M. Bison is the ultimate old-school memelord, many of the show's more quotable lines came from him. Huh, that's about it. Why don't I complain about the acting now.

A lot of the actors are capable of good performances, only one of them really did any good. Richard Newman provided the voice of M. Bison in this, and as you saw before, he carried the show, much like how he carried the movie. Who knew the writers wanted to be so punctual.

While I loved Michael Donovan as Grey Hulk, he does not do Guile well. I don't know how well Guile could sound, but here's not a good place to start. The remainder are forgettable at best, less you want to hear Blanka try to do his best Dr. Claw.

Lisa Ann Bely offers an award-winning performance that got her two roles on Darkstalkers, and I established I'd consider her to be the worst Vancouver actress I ever heard. She gives Cammy a very robotic feel, like all she could do is what was asked of her, and nothing more.

My personal worst for this series is Tong Lung as Ryu and Donna Yamamoto as Chun-Li. In spite of being Asian, they sure as hell don't sound Asian. Yamamoto is so bad that they turned Chun-Li into a tanned brunette. Looking at her stills, how could I not draw that comparison? Lastly, Ryu's name is pronounced quite literally. Not like "REEEE-you", more like "Rye-you" Just wanted to let you know.

Animation

Adding to the list of shows I consider to be ugly, maybe you can agree with me on this. This show is proof that even Japan can fuck up when it comes to animation. In the first season, the movement is stiff and you know how they draw characters in a crowd or at a distance, some of them have that lack of detail.

The second season featured more detail, but it wound up making the show look uglier.

I have a feeling this was a weekly show. The animation tells me they animated the episodes one at a time, and started three days before the deadline. Darkstalkers' first episode looked to have been made before the rest of the series, with a clear quality drop as the show went on, but this show started poorly and finished all the same.

Overall

This is the worst fighting game cartoon show I've ever seen. I'd close with a quote from the show, but I can't fit it in without it coming off as awkward. I'd rather watch Magic Girl Friendship Squad or look at cringeworthy fanart for The Loud House.

Episode Review: Siskel & Ebert & Jay & Alice

A lot of people may hate me for this, but if I didn't, I'd be relegated to the valedictory and hypocritical crowd. I'll also be rambling a bit at the start but production trivia will not be part of this, at least in my usual brand.

A while back I discussed The Critic, an animated series that aired on ABC and Fox in the mid-90s. Checking out some episodes, I thought the show was okay, but over the years, ironically while Jay Sherman's age upped his cynicism, my cynicism drove me to hate this show, along with my disillusionment with reviewers in general.

To sum up, I felt the show had been rendered a product of its time, it does for cinema what Family Guy does for cutaways, haphazard references that often pale in comparison to shows that also do it and sticking to what's obvious, plus the characters we're meant to root for don't give us a lot to work off of, especially when it comes to representation.

You're telling me that people who care for vision in cinema are fat balding pigs who may be gay? Plus can't go five minutes without over-indulging on food and enforcing gay stereotypes (Mike Reiss is secretly part of the Westboro Baptist Church and wants to convince others to feel ill toward gays by making them act obnoxious. Queer Duck may very well be their equivalent to Pepe the Frog.)

Plus Margo can prove that even if you're not over the top, you can still come off as condescending (she gave a bland presentation on female equivalence, and was only there for the sake of her horse), plus I imagine she'd pop a circuit if someone brings up the idea that most of the girls at the Debonaire party came on their own volition.

I brought up how The Critic laid the genesis for the surge of internet reviewers, notably influencing the Nostalgia Critic, and how it had a negative impact on many involved. If Doug Walker never saw this show, I imagine 5 Second Movies would've been his birth and death, and MrEnter wouldn't have taken that influence and would've remained in relative obscurity (had to bring him up because his style back then was clued by the anger.)

Though what went over my head (or I never had a good reason to bring it up) is what influenced this show. Siskel and Ebert. For the record, they've been dead for more than a few years so it's not like I'm poking fun at those who haven't made it under yet.

Referring back to the Nostalgia Critic, the uninformed may think I'm slowly turning into MisAnthroPony's A-Log, but bear in mind that the Nostalgia Critic did a retrospective on Siskel and Ebert at the Movies and the implication of his influences is made clear.

I never saw much of Siskel, but admittedly, if I had to choose between both, Ebert was brave enough to go against popular opinion. He gave a warmer review to Speed 2, he was among the fresh reviewers of The Odd Life of Timothy Green, so if anything, he was no pussy, though based on what I recall Siskel was looser on At the Movies. So they both had balls, but they had a bad impact.

I love reviewing, but I hate the kind of people I'd be associated with. Perhaps my hangup with reviewers stem from my hatred of being lectured. I just want to talk about stuff I like or hate. My favorite reviewers are either funny or casual or informative, so even if I disagree I can at the very least see them as respectful, even reviewers who're willing to go against popular opinion (which is why I still like RalphTheMovieMaker), whereas complete idiots like the Nostalgia Critic, Chris Stuckmann and others get by on spoon-feeding non-offensive content and common opinions and lecturing us on what we can and can't like while crying about gross out or something being too scary when they champion for material that isn't neutered for children. (they'd claim to enjoy the first season of The Real Ghostbusters when they actually grew up with the bastardized later editions.), also those reviewers who use ill-fitting political jokes.

Essentially, I feel like a libertarian in an authoritarian sea, and the critic spiel is going to fit in more to the actual review than you'd think.

The episode

Just know that the episode is less "Siskel and Ebert and Jay and Alice" and more "mostly Siskel and Ebert, more Jay and sometimes Alice", even the title feels clunky. Sure, it fits with the witty pun motif many episode names have for shows the world over, but this feels like an elevator-pitch name, if not the last thing added to the episode.

The episode takes off at the Oscars, where we go into the second half of the show's humor, one is movie references, the other is bare basic jokes. An issue I have with the show is how either the punchline is determined before it's made, or that the joke would be lost on the viewer (an issue with shows meant to be intelligent is that it comes off as condescending at best. A key reason why I like lesser shows is that they ironically give me more to think about in why they came out as they did, whereas with shows like this, you're spoon-fed a perspective, people fall for what's obvious, because they can't be bothered to look deeper when it comes to more suspect material.)

Its movie references are also shallow at best, near Family Guy levels of either coming out of nowhere or being telegraphed, but hear me out, this show is themed around cinema, Family Guy is a general sitcom, so at the very least the unexpected movie references can spice up the show, to varying degrees, but how many of them would you have expected. Fair warning, if I ever talk about more episodes from The Critic, I will bring up Family Guy very often.

The Oscars have a section dedicated to movie critics, and ladies and gentlemen, here's the payoff to that reviewer rant. It's a rare case where the idea and execution are equally terrible. It's a glorification of movie critics, asspats on the house.

Blast off, it's critic time, and the vibe's like a fascist nation. (advocates of a certain belief, i.e. critics and what they believe to be an objective fact on the movies they review. This being a glorification of them, our supposed voices, because "Free thinkers are dangerous". System of a Down for the win.)

Ordinarily, when one portrays themselves in a show beyond a cameo, they'd poke fun at themselves or be over the top, it worked in that episode of The Simpsons where Art Spigelman, Alan Moore and Dan Clowes played themselves, and that was a later episode. Here, either the deprecation gets ran into the ground or the writers have the mentality that led The Simpsons to getting some hot fudge from Paul McCartney and Richard Geere.

You may be thinking, well perhaps the critics are being played in name only, the writers are just big fans and want to do this as a form of flattery. Well guess what, Rex Reed played himself in his appearances on this show, and was one of the few to poke fun at himself (even though I think he missed true flaws, did he ever sell out?) Along with Reed, Gene Shalit played himself (even playing a parody in SpongeBob Squarepants), and yeah, Siskel and Ebert appeared as themselves in this.

I bring up McCartney and Geere's involvement in The Simpsons because I have a theory. Wanna know why Lisa Simpsons became a vegetarian? It was at the insistence of McCartney in order for him to appear in the episode. Wanna know why Lisa became a Buddhist? Because Geere... well I don't know his religion, but I believe he insisted Lisa say Free Tibet.

My point is that the writers on this show likely had to do a similar level of ass-kissing to get Siskel and Ebert on board. They played a big role in how the show was shaped. To sum up Siskel and Ebert's influence on the show, Jay is essentially an amalgamate of both reviewers physically, along with a lack of courage in going against the grain and complaining about things that people already complain about. Why else would Jay only enjoy Citizen Kane and foreign films nobody gives a crap about?

Anyway, after a corny musical number (a cardinal sin apparently), well, what do you get when you mix Jay Sherman's "It stinks!" quote with an unfortunate timing? Him popping out to finish his number as a speech is being done in regards to To Kill a Mockingbird. This was well into the second season, if you didn't see it coming, you're probably a fan of Tom and Jerry, as your memory span us just as short.

Onto some more ass kissing, we go into a historical lecture on Siskel and Ebert. I won't go into whether or not it's factual, but I will say it has a similar feel to those flashback-type deals. They do treat film criticism like it's on par with eating your fruits and veggies, without film criticism... I dunno, Donald Trump or something?

Backfire aside, what's the conflict here? Jay feels inferior to other critics and slowly begins to lose sight in what he believes in? He become disillusioned when he learns Siskel and Ebert don't have the same refined taste he does? Do Jay and Alice become part of At the Movies?

It'd be too easy to say none of those things happen, but the truth is, the latter does happen, sorta. The true drive behind the plot is that Siskel and Ebert split over differences in opinions (and this has been going on for years in their show, without conflicting opinions no decision or belief could have any weight to it.) Their disagreement stems from a different opinion on Jack Frost... alright, not only did that come out well after this episode aired, this highlights another issue with the show as a hole.

They're too afraid to cover actual movies.

For every episode, we see parodies of movies that've existed long before, often based on puns made from the movie titles, case in point, Star Trek: Generation-X, Scent of a Wolfman, and in the case of the duo killer in this episode... it's a parody of Rain Man based around a snowman, with only fractions of what the actual movie is about.

With that kind of movie, I'd consider the premise of a snowman trying to survive to be predictable, and this is coming from someone who likes Jack Frost (non horror version), but here, they talk about it as if it's legitimate, then they fight and go all Nightmare at 20000 Feet, along with the most over the top "flying coach", joke I've seen so far. When Family Guy did it, we got comedians out of it, prankster pilots, and Quagmire before he became Brian of the opposite extreme.

Anyway, I'd complain about how the media reacted to the split, but given how long they've been together I can't be too mad about it. This leads to a call to action, where either critic hosts partner applications, we'll get to Jay's application soon.

Right now, I'd like to go into another theory on how much of an influence Siskel and Ebert played on the initial crop of web reviewers.

On Ebert, when showing someone the kind of movies they'd review, they immediately go for the most outlandish kind, family films starring action stars. Now sure, of these the only one I liked was Jingle all the Way, but that's too obvious, when it comes to complicated films they'd blow a gasket.

Along with being a parody of the aforementioned family comedies, this is yet another movie parody, this time of Mr. Mom.

Rather than throw a curveball and have someone give a light critique or piss off Ebert by saying they liked it, catching the viewer off guard, we get an Indiana Jones reference, guess which one? It was nice we got a cameo of a young Doug Walker out of it.

Onto Siskel, we get someone doing a warm review of a Tim Allen movie (those should go without saying), and channeling his inner douche, Siskel tells him "You're satan, aren't you?" It'd work as a one-liner if the two worked together on the show, a dynamic would've been established by then, a cynic against an optimist, but when it comes to a hiring process, it looks bad on Siskel's part. What? You want him to say he wants to castrate Tim Allen? Or something equal? You can see where the attitude of many internet reviewers stems from. People already hate me, what's one more bitchy tangent?

But the joke's real downfall is the payoff, what would you expect? The guy to say that he isn't Satan, just a contrarian? The guy to turn out to be Tim Allen himself trying to score some positive buzz? Or that he's actually Rex Reed, to continue with a running gag with the guy.

Turns out the guy is actually Satan. Remember, if you don't whine about family movies, you're Satan. I hate that mentality, and I mean the mentality.

So after that, Jay attempts to get in on the deal, doing a repetitive "Hey guy" spiel, I never caught that movie, so for yet another strike, assuming your audience heard of every movie you reference.

Jay winds up going to Ebert first, and I'm gonna find myself picking apart the jokes the most often, better than summarizing the plot and calling it a day. Apparently celebrities send robot copies to public events, I can't be bothered to remember the name of the celebrity used for this, but the joke is ran into the ground when William Shatner's brought into the mix. We all know of Shatner's uncanny acting, so Jay assumes he's a robot too, but he isn't. Twist of the century. Is it time for another Family Guy comparison? Family Guy featured Shatner fairly prevalently, but they gave him more of a character, it's just an awkward performance for a character.

Also in another episode, a good chance to lampoon Shatner's rendition of Rocket Man is ruined when they have him perform an entirely different song. Family Guy prevented another wholesale gag by having Stewie do it, and its appearance was unexpected. Just know I'm going by classic Family Guy here. When shows utilize similar gags, you gotta do comparisons.

Here's where things go sour. We learn that Siskel and Ebert are entirely dependent on one another, and things get creepy. Siskel dresses Jay up as Ebert, Ebert refers to Jay as Gene (Siskel). Okay, I can understand if they were friends off the show, but this is desperate at best, creepy at worst. It makes them look pathetic, especially since they can't sing that good. Yes, we got another music number in this. Duke is the highlight to it, as well as the entire series. 

The sense of humanity is lost when you realize many people lived and died by their opinions, but then again I never grew up with them, or any movie critic. Or maybe I'm just stupid.

So we finally get the Alice in Siskel and Ebert and Jay and Alice (sure she was around but had as much of a purpose as Janine in The Real Ghostbusters, after the neuter.), as she helps Jay to get Siskel and Ebert back together. Through the power of Woody Allen (they shied away from discussing Victor Salva working with the Coppolas, and they were casual over Woody's relationship with Soon-Yi, if you aren't hard you're too casual with it.)

And Woody Allen only got them to be in the same building, Jay feigned an interview offer to get them to criticize a blatant reference to Sleepless in Seattle. It started with a disagreement on a movie, and ended with an agreement on a movie. Moral of the story, never dispute opinions on movies people deem bad, otherwise it'll lead to a breakup and you being called Satan in most cases.

But that isn't the end. It would've been easy to have them voice themselves, but we gotta end the traditional way. The two do a review of the episode, and it's quite vanilla. You'd think the show would be willing to poke fun at itself, but no, these guys take themselves very seriously. The writers are as pretentious as the very show they write, no wacky movie reference could ever change my mind.

Jay rolls down in a reference to a gag done in the episode (I'll give you a hint, it's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with the joke being a reference to a certain scene, one that forever lives in infamy, and one that nearly every show has done.)

All else I can say at this point is that the animation got worse at this point, though was never good to begin with, and it had always been ugly, though given what I call ugly it's best you take what I say with a grain of salt.

Conclusion

For perspective, The Critic lasted for two seasons, being one of many shows to not have the staying power of The Simpsons or Family Guy, and one of the few to go beyond one. This. Mission Hill deserved more seasons, The Oblongs, Clerks: The Animated Series. Those had some imagination and non-artificial wit to them.

Then again I think the only reason this show managed two with a third being considered was because the show's next stop was Fox, where creators Mike Reiss and Al Jean were still working on The Simpsons and brought Jay Sherman on, the one where pretentiousness wins out over innocence. If a tragic film centers on and is made by the same person, it's pretentious and in some cases may lack true authenticity.

I should stay as far away from film festivals as possible.

As for this episode, this is one of three that broke my interest in the show. It's essentially a masturbatory fest for movie critics, given that they played themselves and didn't poke fun at themselves, it tries to make Siskel and Ebert look humble, but instead made them look pathetic, ignoring their impact on their viewers, or maybe they knew all along and were doing it for the hell of it.

Now fine, you can do stuff like this, but there're better ways to do it, and it could've given Jay some extra layers to his character if done right. Jean and Reiss didn't make The Simpsons successful, the characters in this show and the jokes they used exemplified how quickly The Simpsons would sink if they did the writing from the start, why else did they stick around for the later seasons?

And those Family Guy comparisons feel more and more justified, the show had a similar mindset to it, right down to how the jokes were played, but what saved one is the context behind it (and better writing.) I'm just saying, at least Mike Reiss would fit write in given his obsession with repetition and flamboyantly gay characters (I wouldn't be surprised if he created Jasper.)

Lastly, there's the matter of film critics in general. If any critic relies on objective classics, it's clear they lack backbone. A true critic would at least have some bad films they enjoy and are willing to defend. It makes them look more human, it shows they're passionate about the topic of film, it shows that they have opinions that aren't approved by the majority. On the latter, the objective classic ones basically pedal out harmless content with no fresh or challenging perspectives, anyone who speaks otherwise is mocked and dislike bombed on YouTube.

That fascist remark is starting to make more sense.

I have my own opinions, I do reviews as a hobby with no expectations of being seen, though I don't mind it. I wouldn't call them great, but I have fun doing them. These kind of reviewers seek only clout and attention, I would say it could be viewed on the flip-side, but those opportunities are severed.

You could make the case The Critic was a product of its time, but was it ever in-time for longer than a few months?

This is Armond White, speaking from a guy writing reviews in his bedroom.

Ranking The Casper Movies I've Seen

I'm making a huge mistake doing so many Halloween-themed reviews, given my limited scope and sticking to movies less-trotted. Casper: A Spirited Beginning is floating around on the web, but somewhere along the line, I feared I'd relegate myself to defending it, for details that'll be implied soon. I had seen four of the Casper movies in some way, so I decided to do a personal ranking, and give my perspective on each.

I haven't seen Casper Meets Wendy, so that's out for the time being.

Casper (1995)

I had seen this movie as a kid (it was a frequent rental from back in the day.), and given my love of dark comedy nowadays, I can imagine myself seeing this now. My exposure to this afterwards was the review by the Nostalgia Critic (let's be real, YouTube has entered the decades, old channels can be considered retro at this point), and no matter my perspective on the movie, the review holds up poorly for me.

What saves this movie for me is it trying something different, to give Casper just a little extra bite to it, the darkness feels balanced as we get an implication for how Casper died as well as many of the jokes present. Heck, Caddicarus, the man notorious for his not so new opinion on child schlock actually considers the movie to be alright.

So, with a lack of reservations on revisiting this and the belief that some bigger figures may like it to, that's why I put this movie at the top.

Casper's Scare School

I have a feeling this isn't a beloved series, I didn't even know a show spawned from this, but I did see the movie plenty of times. I went into it thinking it'd be neutered crap, but I rewatched it again, and I honestly enjoyed it.

The CG animation is hit or miss, along with most of the new flock of characters, but at the very least I like the dynamic between Casper and his uncles, Kibosh is balanced between being imposing but reasonable, what's expected to be corny is executed well enough to the point you can resonate with it. For better or worse there's one or two partial musical numbers so we're already down one fatal piece of corniness.

However you feel about it, this is the definitive computer-animated Casper movie.

Casper: A Spirited Beginning

My first exposure to this movie came from an old PC game I played as a kid. I had no idea this was based on a different movie nor what said movie was.

It's not so much that it's cheesy, but that it's inconsistent. Not to mention undoing the emotional weight of Casper becoming a ghost by not showing it and him not knowing he died. The effects are okay for made-for-TV standards, there may be some enjoyment to have, albeit ironic enjoyment, but the only reason I'd go back to it is for Steve Guttenberg.

Casper's Haunted Christmas

With a ranking entry in mind, I went into this knowing exactly what'd be at the bottom.

I saw this movie twice on television. I had revisited this and was off-put by people bitching about the animation, and that still upsets me, because the animation is the least of this movie's problems.

For perspective, I tried watching the movie twice, each time I got further than the last but no matter what, I couldn't make it through the whole thing. It felt too sugary and forced in many areas (and the movie is so negligible it leaves me at a loss on memorizing specifics), characters take one trait and stick with it to the bitter end, even the corny jokes feel soulless.

I'd go as far as to consider this the worst Mainframe Entertainment movie (Boom Boom Sabotage is so bad it's good.)

Bro Show review

So, at some point I said I didn't like Ed, Edd n' Eddy, which lasted for about less than a week. What got me to change my mind is me accepting the Kanker sisters, knowledge that people shared whatever complaints I had about the show and what's considered the worst episode, and in a way, the fanon did as well.

Not referring to slash, but working off various theories. What got me into it was the dedication and attention to detail (going by clues in every episode for instance), for a good example, check out the page on the kids' parents: https://edfanon.fandom.com/wiki/Parents

A browse through the EdFanon wiki had got me thinking about earlier encounters with Ed, Edd n' Eddy fan material, and with that... Kevin Lordi.

Kevin Lordi (AnimatEd on deviantArt), is/was a prominent figure in the Ed, Edd n' Eddy fan community, the only other one with such prominence is VampireMeerkat in his prime. Lordi is no longer as active as he was in his heyday, his YouTube, his deviantArt, his Tumblr is mostly active for reblogs, even his latest Patreon update was around 2015.

The Bro Show is one of his better known projects, aside from some stints with Steven Universe. The original video was released on deviantArt (which if Flash doesn't work for you you're SOL), but on YouTube too. Details on the premise will come shortly.

Lordi hosted a fundraising campaign on Patreon to beef up the show's production, make more episodes and other necessary improvements, but nothing came of it. It seems to be a general curse when it comes to funding stuff online, Growing Around suffered for it and I honestly wanted to see it come to fruition, was Hazbin Hotel funded online? People hate it like it is.

(spoilers, I'm gonna go all fanboy in regards to VampireMeerkat)

I'm gonna preface the following with one statement. I wish Lordi got the funding.

Time to be an Asshole

The Bro Show, if you hadn't figured it out already, is centered on Eddy's older brother. Given Antoniucci's penchant for keeping secrets he never got a name. Though unlike what's under Edd's hat, the lack of the name helps provide a sense of relatability, we all have that one asshole in our family.

This show is essentially a prequel to the events of Ed, Edd n' Eddy. I don't know how long ago VampireMeerkat's depictions have existed, though whatever the case Lordi goes his own way. For example, apparently the Kankers have a relative named Tammy.

Going by VampireMeerkat, the Kankers were born through differing stints their mother had with three separate guys. The Kankers' dynamic with the Eds stems from their mothers flip-flopping attitude on guys (even flirting with the Eds' dads at some point.)

What I'm getting with Tammy here is that Bro's relationship with her carried on to the other Kankers, hence why they pursue them. I can't think of a whole lot else. Also she's Southern, but I won't harp on this, he could've had little actors to work with.

Fair warning, this short contains more adult stuff, which is bound to piss off the "everything is made for kids" crowd. The schtick behind this is that Bro got Tammy pregnant, and that accounts for a bulk of the plot. The remainder is how the Cul De Sac is incorporated, which is wrought through bits and pieces.

The short is mainly meant to introduce us to the crop of characters, though since most of them reside in the trailer park I question if we'd even see them again.

Now for Bro, I never really liked him, I imagine few did as well. Here, at the very least he sells the douchebag schtick but that's where the downfall comes. If the series went on I imagine the personality would come with it. If we have to follow a detestable person episode by episode, it'd get old. I get why the Eds hardly made it on top most of the time, their malicious intents were made clear every episode.

By the end, as Bro comes to terms with being a dad he goes with his parents to the Cul De Sac a free man. It did no favors for the character in my opinion.

Along with some relatives and Tammy, we have Bro's friend Bone (creative), who's probably related to Ed (he sure looks like him.), and he's a few notches close to a blank slate.

So on a character basis, there needs to be some work, I can't give the best advice on proper characterization, aside from... well find a balance with Bro for one.

Easter Eggs

While it's a prequel, it feels like this video operates in its own world. Ed, Edd n' Eddy references are uncommon, but wherever you find them, it's predictable. The intro is a near beat-for beat recreation of EEnE's intro, poses and all. Only difference is that the purple artifacts get painted on.

The title cart also shares a similar motif in terms of inserting "Bro" wherever, but I question why Lordi should acknowledge himself twice to thrice when he did everything.

There're times when random sound effects play like in the actual show, but sometimes they don't have a natural flow to them, coinciding with the iffy acting. Aside from a good Eddy impression for one of the characters, the acting is rather wooden. For those that'd bring up Growing Around, it's meant to be a teaser, i.e. not the final product while this was self-contained and the work would come after.

I bring up the voice acting because the animation goes well against it. We have dynamic poses and expressions going against wooden acting, which is especially noticeable on Tammy. For something meant for older audiences, hear me out, a less over-the-top approach would've worked, save for some aspects like fourth wall breaks and occasional scenes where OTT could work.

Tammy has the most wooden performance, but Bro is the most cringeworthy, near bland delivery, plus at one point he does the "scream but not loud to the point of waking his parents in the other room", as well as the most apathetic "What!?" I've ever heard.

We see Bro's parents and his grandfather, and I believe Lordi took that one joke from Take this Ed and Shove It too literally.

We see Central Command in this, and like in the show it's broken down. This could've worked better if the van was functional and broke down, promptly getting sent to the junkyard.

There's referencing, then there's proper incorporation, there're easy fixes to most of these.

Overall

If Lordi got the funding back when he was still prevalent on the internet, I think he could've had the tools necessary to make something good. As is, The Bro Show doesn't fill me with confidence, based around a character few people like, a teen drama story you could easily catch on Lifetime, and an otherwise wooden performance spanning nearly everyone on board.

Don't get me wrong, hobbyist work is fine, but if you intended to take it further some scrutiny is expected.

The Cramp Twins review

Please note that I'm going by memory on this, not out of laziness, but because I really don't like this show. And now for the ever endearing thesis and production trivia.

I talked about that weird era of Cartoon Network during the mid to late-2000s, where they threw whatever they could on the schedule, basically glorified sensory deprivation. It was around that time they felt more adventurous, blah blah blah Tickle U, Miguzi, CN Real, imports, I very likely talked about this.

Though speaking of imports, guess what of them I caught, well I and potentially more.

That Part

I first caught The Cramp Twins on Cartoon Network. I would say it's a given for everyone else, but I learned soon after the show got its start on the Foxbox. For a block primarily dedicated to material owned by 4Kids Entertainment, I would say it's surprising this show made it on since Angela Anaconda bit it the same year, but shock and horror I never watched this block. Interesting fact, one of the characters from this show played a part in a twist ending for a commercial break special.

The show, initially, was produced by Sunbow Entertainment. I talked about them in by Brothers Flub review, but to catch you up, they became notable for their programs based on Hasbro properties, but after the heyday of 80s toy commercials (I mean cartoons), they just couldn't hold on. Regretfully, this would be their last production, and this show ironically outlived Sunbow, even through legacy credits.

Airing on Foxbox initially in the US, the show was aired on and co-produced by Cartoon Network's British branch, this being one of two co-productions with the other being Fat Dog Mendoza. While the latter never aired on American television, this actually wound up on Cartoon Network.

One thing I find interesting is that this show used both American and Canadian actors. This wouldn't be the first kind of show to do it, Sabrina: The Animated Series used a mix as well. To bring up Fat Dog Mendoza, the show used an entirely Canadian cast. This was in their later years and I imagine it was cheaper to contract a Vancouver talent union, while British networks don't adhere to ratings and would take anything functional.

So along with Vancouver mainstays like Nicole Oliver and... shit it's been ages since I went over Canadian actors, and I do not feel like revisiting this show beyond my memories, we also have Kath Soucie and Tom Kenny, I'm not gonna act like they've been suckered, it's all down to a paycheck, but I now understand the grievances behind capitalism.

The show lasted from 2001 to around 2005, and that's about it.

How about some complaints?

This is one of those dysfunctional-family affairs, no matter how you look at it. To sum up, boy genius Lucien Cramp, troublemaker Wayne, neurotic mother..., and blank slate Horace. Yeah I can't be bothered to remember everyone's names. We've come to a point where edges are to be expected from main characters. You don't even need to peel back the layers to see how bland this kind of premise is on the show.

Though perhaps it's remembered for a better reason (well one of two.)

While I suck with the names, I don't suck with personalities. Lucien is the least annoying by default, which is a plus since he seems to get heat most of the time, think Malcolm in the Middle, but his potential isn't as realized. The mother takes her housekeeper designation too seriously, and how could I forget that time she tried to burn everyone and everything with acid.

I think it goes without saying that Wayne was one of the worst aspects of the show. Not because of the lack of MUH COMEUPPANCE, and Tom Kenny pulled off a great performance, but that's why it sucks, you can easily hate Wayne. The fact that he plays a big part in nearly every episode makes it harder to get through, especially the scenes where he pretends to be innocent. It can remind people of their own poor sibling relationships. Hell, in most shows even if we're meant to hate the rude sibling, they're still bearable. I'd rather watch an episode of Ed, Edd n' Eddy with Sarah, because with characters like her they're at the very least entertaining.

If Cramp Twins practiced incest Wayne would be a tsundre.

For all else, this show is one of those slice-of-life affairs. I recall nearly every episode I've seen, though for the wrong reasons, and the few times I tried to get back into it I couldn't make it to the end. For perspective, I'd rather watch Angela Anaconda. Bizarre animation is sounding very good right about now.

The show did try some subversions, Lucien though the softest by nature is actually tolerant of most gross things, finding solace in a swamp, something that Wayne hates. They swapped the abusive husband and frail wife tropes in one episode, otherwise, many characters are the sum of their parts, you either like it or you don't.

I'll give the show the benefit of the doubt that it got a little more bearable later on down the line, there was one episode where Wayne tried to prove he was a good brother to win a quad bike, so good I watched it multiple times, had some decent jokes, characters were more tolerable than they normally were, it even had casual misogyny. 

Animation

So if it wasn't the characters you remembered, chances are it was the style. One thing I have to give credit to the show for, objectively at least, is that it has a unique style. While the technicolor skin pigments give me Doug vibes, the ovular heads, the bulging outlines and nothing else apparently help give it a little extra edge. You can never forget a face but you can forget nearly everything else.

Also used traditional animation which I never noticed changed even after Sunbow bit it.

In Closing

The Cramp Twins is a prime example of a show we enjoyed growing up, but it didn't quite hold up as well as we had hoped. It doesn't matter if your tastes have changed or you matured, it's hard as hell to revisit this show. The few episodes I watched, for the few I managed to watch to the end, I didn't want to go back to it. It's proof that you can hate characters who're executed just right.

This and Camp Lazlo stand as the two shows I watched growing up that I hate now. Frankly I'd rather look at weird Loud House art, at least I have the knowledge South America handles consent laws differently.

w'ever hapun 2... ShadowBlazeX8

The YouTube Commentary Community, whether you view it as a joke nowadays or under one of many incarnations, has brought many different personalities into the limelight, and gradually evolved over the years. What we know now... is actually fairly consistent with how it started, it's a response to a video intercut with still images to represent whoever's responding, though that principle is never always the case. Sometimes the commentator can be more interesting than whoever they're commenting on, and drama has always been a key aspect since day one, which would go to show that you should never place all your bills on any horse, you'll always lose.

For the more infamous targets, while they either moved on or blanked off with traces of their existence still existing in some form, some stand out more than others for different reasons, you can go for anyone, and for my pick, I'm going with someone who was around during the end of the late-2000s.

What I Know

ShadowBlazeX8 reared his head into the ring in 2008. A prime aspect to his channel, which could've led to his downfall, was ranting. People usually rant for clout, and back then you could find rants on any single topic with the same substance. These rants would also correspond with movie reviews, namely rants on bad ones. In addition to that he'd do comedic dubs of certain videos, one of which got commentated on years ago and trust me, any scorn toward it is deserved.

He had also done reactions to cartoons like Phineas and Ferb and Adventure Time, both negative, and you already know what I have to say. With a show so beloved I respect anyone who goes against popular opinion. But on commentaries, he's one of the few commentators to show their face during the video, the only other one I know of was 2funnyVersionIV, though these were more like live reactions for the most part (which depending on your point of view is the better way to go), other times he'd use images when he didn't feel like being on camera, and like those in his crop, it's memes.

The worst thing you can do as a commentator is go after overdone topics and bring nothing new to the table. Every user he ever commentated on had been done before, some examples include Irate Gamer and Chris Chan. He was one of those "Funny equals quality" types, with his worst aspect being that he repeats what's already said in an exaggerated tone. This is laying the ground for the ultimate conclusion he made, but in time.

In addition to YouTube, he helped give an idea on how spoiled for choice we were when it came to YouTube alternatives back then, we had Blip TV, Revver, Dailymotion, Viddler, it was a better time. Aside from those, he had an account on GameTrailers (back when user generated content was welcome), deviantArt and Blogger. The latter shows how long he has been on the internet (along with still being accessible), going as far back as 2005. His deviantArt contained photographs mainly, going by the few titles I see, and I assume he came from a rural area (amazing how we've seen his face but have no idea what his name is, it is possible.) On his deviantArt, he had a certain kink, one muscle fetish, and I contest, I have that too. I probably wouldn't enjoy his content but I imagine I could hold a good conversation with him.

Why He Left

If it wasn't obvious enough, his YouTube content wasn't good. Major figures at the time tore his videos to shreds and you can still find their commentaries on his videos if you want more infamous examples. Chances are he either deleted his channel out of embarrassment or copyright got him in the end. At some point a bulk of his videos were archived (done by another infamous commentator), and speaking of he actually managed to save quite a bit of videos that would ordinarily be lost. Unfortunately, the channel got taken down and now ShadowBlazeX8 is lost fodder. Good thing about being swarmed is that it leaves no mystery over why they left.