Atlantis Squarepantis Game review

Atlantis Squarepantis, aka a relic of many screechfests from the early 2010s, aka one of many older reviews purged by MoBrosStudios due to it no longer being up to his standards, needs no thorough introduction. Just know that it came, stayed on the internet as many internet critics ripped it up, helped lay the groundwork for an ongoing hate campaign toward a certain loose screw and had a tie-in video game, which I happened to own, I mean I still do but for better or worse I don't have a Wii anymore.

(FYI, I'm doing the Wii version.)

Background

Released on October of 2017, this game actually predates the movie it's based on by about a month. It was developed by Blitz Games, who was also behind Creature from the Krusty Krab. Within their lifespan, they made games you've certainly played at some point, the Fairly Odd Parents games come to mind, they also did Frogger 2; an objectively better game than Frogger: The Great Quest and a series of games for Burger King, don't know how that happened but it did, and that's just a small sampling.

Don't know how or when I got this, but I got it, I played it, and now I'm going to talk about it.

Premise

In spite of this technically predating the movie release-wise, the premise here is in line with the movie. SpongeBob discovers half of an ancient amulet, unites it with another half at the museum, which his friends are present at, they go to Atlantis, Plankton is shoehorned in, and no matter what you say, no indications, at least logical ones could circumvent a forced inclusion, shit gets fucked, SpongeBob and co. are saved by a cheap payoff when Plankton runs into it and that covers the film. I have no intent of going back to it, so I'm just gonna recount what I know off the top of my head. Essentially the film is like a watered-down version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, where five guests arrive to tour an elusive area, one member at a time disappears due to certain circumstances and in hindsight that was a bit of a weak comparison.

The game starts off with a flashback, where SpongeBob and co. encounter Plankton in Atlantis, then it follows the aforementioned plot to a tee, and it lacks musical numbers, plus David Bowie, but for all I know he was tacked on to the film. It's weird, but the way the game delivers the plot is slightly less... weird than the movie. It's certainly a lot more straightforward, and lacking in musical numbers.

Gameplay

It's basically a series of mini games that tie in with the plot of the movie. Some levels share the same aesthetic as others. Basically, there're four different types of games spanning each level, driving, platforming, combo mashing and shooting. We'll get to these in a while. For completing each level, you get a medal, one of three, depending on how well you do in the level. These medals aren't for decoration though, they count as currency, currency you put toward buying extras in the game, but we'll get to those in time.

As you go on you'll also unlock extra parts of completed levels, whether they be ramped up challenges, quick challenges or just a retread of the original level to mask creative bankruptcy. I'll admit, I like how Blitz tried to incorporate replay value in this game, but given that there're 14 levels in total, I think it was in vein. On the other hand, most of these are retreads so I guess these bonuses exist as compensation.

Or better yet, this is how they were able to get the game on the shelves before the special it was based on came out.

So what're the actual levels like?

Tank Levels

There're two in total, and this is the first type of level you play. It's a personal peeve, but when you start, it's not immediately made clear that you need to hold the Wii controller horizontally. Surprisingly I beat this level without that knowledge. You have to blast your way across Atlantis while fending off enemy soldiers. While this game establishes that the tank shoots ice cream, it's still treated like a twist toward the end. That's one advantage the movie has over the game since we had no idea about the tank's means of ammunition, then again this was supposedly spoiled in the commercials.

Overall, it's an interesting way to start, though it's also fairly jarring. First impressions are everything, and this really took me for a ride.

Discount DDR

These are the most common throughout the game, and it's another tell that this game was produced rather quickly. Key commands fly by and you have to hit them at the right time. Miss enough times and you fail the level. These are as simple as running animation with key commands programed if one does nothing. Oh but sometimes the commands are obscured before they hit the center of the screen. Not impressed, and the only thing making these hard is human error.

Shooting

Admittedly better than the previous one due to the action aspect. There're two variants of the shooting levels, with two others differing considerably, I'll get to those in the next paragraph. For one of the former two, it's down to shooting everything while avoiding two hazardous items. The next is essentially an on-rails shooter, but strangely it's one of the more enjoyable levels.

Now for the latter two, picture taking levels. These are my personal favorite levels. It's an on-rails level where you need to take pictures of certain things while avoiding guards who if they catch you, they'll berate you so bad you'll lose ten points. You could also throw crabby patties at guards and take their pictures for some extra points. This is fun for what you're supposed to do, and what you can do. If you hit certain things, stuff will happen.

Driving

This could be considered a variant of the tank levels. Only one of these are present, and I personally consider this to be the one level I always went back to. Since it's the only driving stage of this nature, I'll go into better detail. You are essentially tasked with finding parts to the song-powered magic bus, and for every major power up your bus gets a new ability, for example, the wings allow you to jump, okay this is the only significant power up, the only other one is essentially a constant speed boost.

Guess I'm just a sucker for driving stages, and running into shit.

Platforming

These are sparse, but make up for that by being the longest stages in the game. It relies heavily on buddy dynamics, sometimes going on your own won't be enough. To start, you're with SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob has the ability to flip open gates and move certain rocks out of the way. Patrick is able to toss SpongeBob to the other side of a pitfall and be pulled with him; an anchor would be used as a substitute if you're separated from SpongeBob.

As you go on, you'll deal with additional character combos, extending to Sandy, Squidward and Mr. Krabs. Sandy has the ability to lasso her comrades to whatever side she's on, as well as pulling open bridges, Squidward can run on moving conveyor belts and get certain gates open by running on a treadmill, and Mr. Krabs could launch himself over long distances so long as a pile of treasure is in his path.

Conclusion

Instinctively, this game should end with a reprise of the tank level, perhaps follow up with a final boss fight. Truth or Square did that in the game adaptation, but Blitz seemed to care more about being faithful to the source material. So the tank level is the second to last level in the game. What does this game end with? A credit sequence during the final level, which is another Discount DDR. I want my money back.

Graphics

The graphics are unique, in that they vary in quality and frame rate. Some levels run smoothly and have a simple graphical palate, while others, less common, are muggy looking and are a bit choppy. Those latter kinds of levels remind me of Creature from the Krusty Krab, almost as if part of the game was built from the graphical engine in that game, while the remainder was built from scratch. Something tells me they hired a second team when they felt they couldn't finish the game before the deadline.

Overall though, it's not horrible by Wii and PS2 standards, if this made it to the XBOX 360 and PS3 then I'd complain. Ironically, this looks better than those Activision published SpongeBob games. Well, as long as you don't compare cutscenes because those look worse in this game, I think this game has the worst looking cutscenes in any SpongeBob game.

Music

The music in this game is okay. It's not as memorable as past SpongeBob games, but they do fit the levels. Going back to those later SpongeBob games, at least they attempted to use new music rather than stock tracks.

Overall

The game isn't as fondly remembered as other SpongeBob games, at best they consider the game to be mediocre, and honestly it's a fitting consensus. The game is fine, though I could imagine people getting bored with it before long.