Recess' Lazy Anthology Films

It's no surprise that I hate the retro Disney Channel staple Recess. Let's be real, there're are and have been much better shows than Recess on Disney, many with unique premises that are remembered for more than nostalgia and many they get by through one way or another. Compared to them, Recess is like the AMC Pacer, it's iconic, but only for the time. It's something that was better seen when it was new, because through fresh eyes, it's disgusting. It has a borderline gritty palate, the character design and animations are reminiscent of an early-90s Nelvana production (see the first two seasons of Tales from the Cryptkeeper for a comparison) and the characters are one-note, as in all you could recognize them for is a single quirk. Even the mains aren't very compelling, annoying at worst. Not to mention, it gives a very hackneyed idea on what it was like to be a kid; it's hardly from the perspective of a kid, but rather what a P.R. Marketing Team perceives what a kid perceives. Watch any coming of age show and you'll get what I mean.

I could give an entirely opinionated critique on the show, but fuck it, I want to go for something a bit more objective, like the fact that Recess is a prime example of a series with lazy direct-to-video movies.

Recess had a full-length movie, for some reason, and next time you see someone complain about the lack of realism in the 2002 Hey Arnold! movie (heck they might make the same complaints against the Jungle Movie), show them Recess School's Out (and pay note to the tacky soundtrack). After that,  either the creators threw their hands up or Disney decided that this was going to be their primary cash cow (this started a bit before Kim Possible hit the scene).

Now, direct-to-video movies aren't necessarily renowned for their quality, so what makes these so bad. Three words. Glorified. Episode. Compilation. Essentially, they combine three episodes from the show and throw in some additional footage to make some kind of coherent story out of it. Sometimes the episode choices fit the narrative the movie's trying to go with, other times, the episodes mend poorly.

The Average Viewer circa 2001-2003: "Hmmm, I wonder, should I spend a few bucks just to get a compilation of three episodes? Fuck it I'll just go to the videos."

The worst thing about these is that the framework is barren, to the point that all you could do is summarize what happens in them; basically you'd just recognize what leads up to the framework and for the transitions it's just a fleeting mention of what happened.

As a testament, I want to quickly go over all three Recess D2V movies, namely give a casual impression because, heh, I haven't seen at least one of them.

Miracle on Third Street

The obligatory Christmas special. The faculty get stuck on the road due to bad weather and we get treated to four episodes (only one has anything to do with Christmas, the other is about Thanksgiving and the other two have no purpose because they have no holiday connections, they're mostly there to fill time)

The flow of the episode choices is disjointed at best, and it amounts to "this happened", "that happened", etc.. The worst part is that these are presented as flashbacks, which goes to show just how lazy the people behind this were (episodes are segued in from what the adults remember, and they show episodes with scenes where the adults aren't even present most of the time.).

Taking the Fifth Grade (impressions)

From what I've seen by the description, it just goes right to the episodes. Correct me if I'm wrong.

All Growed Down

This one is special, not only because I have more to talk about here, but the fact that this is not only an episode compilation, but it includes a new segment. Essentially, the main characters get held captive by kindergarteners (who're portrayed as a primitive tribe, this is either a piss easy allegory, or they were hurting for a proper portrayal). I give the film points for trying to make the episode placement make sense, since it occurred from the perspective of the kids, but that just leaves one big problem. This movie came out in 2003, and the episodes are much older. What does that mean? While the movie itself is set at a certain quality, the episodes are presented as they were when they aired, that means it's a pretty damn steep quality contrast, and it goes out of its way to show just how lazy these movies are.

The original segment is nothing to write home about other. In fact, it's the ultimate middle finger to continuity. One of the characters, Gus, recalls a time when he started a revolution that turned the kindergarteners into what they are today. Only problem is that Gus was the latest addition to the series, and the only explanation he offers is that they just forgot about him.

Closing

Some may say the show was bold for not being held down by continuity, I say the show was just lazy, and willingly ignored key elements they've established because they were desperate to make episodes that stick. The show at its core was lazy. The characters were lazy (designated to one niche, or overblowing one assignment doing little to make it look good), the episodes were lazy and relied on batshit insanity to give it any form of coherence, and these movies, holy shit were they lazy.

What am I missing?