Don't kid yourselves, a lot of you are bound to remember a time you used to toy around on the family computer and practically fuck it beyond recognition. Vargskelethor sure did. I remember playing on an old white desktop, it was either DOOM or something with a similar engine. Time after, we got a new OS, Windows XP. We all had our own accounts, I remember mine having the dog wallpaper, and how little sense I had with proper care for the computer, come on I was like six at the time.
As you'd expect we also had a little collection of PC games, all hand-me-downs, beyond re-releases none of these were new. They made up a good bulk of my free time, and while I do remember a majority of them, there are a few that are either vague or far gone. I remember playing this weird version of Pong, that might've been a minigame, and I pissed off someone who was visiting by not bothering to play.
So here, to celebrate the season, I'm gonna go over every PC game I remember playing. As these are mostly just old educational and basic games, they won't be reviews, rather recollections. How can you go wrong?
This is gonna disqualify games I played in school, one is fairly mainstream, the other is pretty general, and that may be a whole other rabbit hole.
Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley
Now I'm sure a lot of you have at least heard of Mr. Potato Head, either you had the toy or saw one of two shows based on it. For me, it was through Toy Story 2. Ironically, the first Toy Story debuted the same year as this game. Along with being for Windows and Macintosh, this was also available on the Apple Pippin of all things. Isn't that like having a Beavis and Butthead point-and-click game on the PlayStation? Wish it was on the CD-i.
Okay, on its own it's nothing special. Its educational value is also incredibly minimal, with the most you learn being visual cues, some basic math and shape identification and length comparison. This also has the most literal difficulty options I've ever seen, it only applies to the two mini-games. But hey, it's still fun to click through, there had to be some reason why I kept coming back to this so much as a kid.
It has a very pleasant art direction and a decent roster of characters, I'd tune into five episodes if this was a cartoon show, but perhaps they can spice up the educational factor. For instance, the midway games are a bit too easy. If you have the sense to click on matching fish in the shape game then you probably wouldn't stop to analyze the shapes they have.
There's also a math pinball game, which you can easily cheese through by overshooting the ball, and it's a matter of scoring enough points to get through it. The amount of points needed also never change. However, you also have the opportunity to play Mr. Potato Head and print out your designs, so there's that.
It's a simple game, either I had a re-release or it managed to work as far as Windows XP. I'd say let your kids give it a shot.
Curious George Learns Phonics
This one was a bit tricky to remember, due to its setting contrasting with its plot. Sometime in the 90s, the publisher of Curious George contracted Vipah Interactive to produce a line of Curious George games dedicated to basic learning, and this was among them. For the longest time, no footage of the game was available online, well, that's owed to nobody bothering to curate the game in a playthrough.
I like Curious George, well, in a way I would pass it down to future generations. It's a cute little series that plays into the curious minds of developing individuals, and I can see this working for educational games. Each game focuses on one aspect of early learning, one literally focusing on that, an alphabet game and this one, relating to phonic.
The art style and animation is on-point, and they carry out the educational portions very well, but there's one small problem, and that's when you get something wrong.
If you fuck up on any of the games, it takes longer than it should before you can try it again. It's less about getting the answer right to show you know it, and more because you don't want to put up with any more delays.
At the very least the games don't forego the educational goals, at the cost of variety. At most you have identifying images, spelling out words clued in through letter pronunciations, a Pac Man clone and a collection of stories... where you find words pronounced a certain way. One thing I find interesting, with a majority of the playthroughs they all pick the same stories I recalled picking when I played this game, the one about the two bears and their toy cars and the other about a clown with a broken flower pot.
It's a little more fine-tuned with educational goals, and something I didn't point out with the previous game, unlike it where the information is presented, you'd actually have to figure some of the stuff out here. If you can somehow get your hands on this, give it a go, I think it's important that kids be introduced to Curious George at an early age.
I reviewed this years ago, interesting fact, but interesting to who exactly?
I Spy Spooky Mansion
A.k.a. the second game PeanutButterGamer ever covered for his first ever Goodwill Games series. This was another game I frequently played compared to the others. I remember constantly registering under different names just so I can start from scratch every single time, for some strange reason.
The art direction is outstanding, and really sells on the spooky nature this game is going for, along with fitting the nature of the books. There's not much that can be said about it, it's a game of I Spy brought to life, and interestingly, it can run on just about anything, well anything before Vista I bet. How could I not forget this game? Not because it was horrifying, but because its visual edge and presentation was so good, it remained fresh in my mind for years.
And yeah, I love the I Spy books as a kid, I remember really liking this one that related to a treasure hunt, probably owed to my love of small towns, and I'm aware there was a game based on it, but it may be different than what I recall from the book. It's a story that won't be for any time because I don't have access to a virtual machine, let alone a desktop, and my laptop doesn't have a disc drive so there goes that comment.
Casper Spirited Beginning Activity Center
Probably botched the title. Here's another PC game I had done a review of. This is a rarity, a game based on a direct-to-video sequel. Only other game I know of that did this was Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge. Two interesting facts, well one interesting one not so. Not so, I had seen the 1995 Casper movie and had no idea it had a sequel, even if the footage in the game proved otherwise.
I'd say I'm not missing out, but Casper's Haunted Christmas still stands as the worst Casper movie for me, this just seems like a hunk of cheese, and I eat that shit up every day of the week.
A more interesting fact is that this game was developed by WayForward Technologies, of Shantae and SpongeBob GBA games fame.
The title basically gives away what this game is about, a collection of activities. It's a bit dull but you get what you paid for. There's a tile flipping game which on its easiest mode, can be completed in a matter of three clicks, two if you're lucky. I really liked this one where you create food with Fatso, at the very least the end reactions vary and there is some problem solving, solving riddles to know what ingredients to get.
There's a shooting game with Stinky that's functional, but a little basic. At the very least there's a ranking system that can give you some extra initiative to give it your all. For the life of me I could never do Stretch's game, probably because I never listened to the instructions. It's basically a game of Simon. There's also a mix and match game, and if you like what you mix, you're welcome to print out what you made.
The goal of this game is to get enough coins to unlock... one final game, it being a puzzle game that's only a slight notch above the tile game because it takes a bit longer to complete.
I could understand tying into a big movie, but were people clamoring for a made-for-TV movie? It's always when the sequels come around that these games are made, that Charlie's Angels game came out the same year as Full Throttle. Maybe by then they believed they had an audience for it?
Also they use 2D animation for the characters in this, and it's very well done I must say.
But whatever the case, this is less like an embarrassing high school photo, and more like a picture you took that you can look back on and learn how far you've grown since then.
Detective Barbie: Mystery of the Carnival Caper
I'd take this time to justify me playing this game because I have a sister, but come on, games are for everybody. I played like three of these, well two of those were Game Boy Advance games.
Anyhow, the more girly aspects are surprisingly minimal in this. The only connection this has to Barbie are the characters it seems, like they just inserted her into some detective game. More power to them, it helps up the appeal beyond girls. Speaking of, or implying so, this game has a wide list of names, and they include boy names. The developers made no assumptions on who would play the game, that's actually very commendable.
As a kid I didn't pick up on the issues with the controls, but there are issues with the movement, fortunately only peaking when there's no urgency. The graphics obviously aren't up to snuff, that's a given, lest they were trying to emulate the plastic nature of the dolls they're based on.
Nevertheless, the game's atmosphere captures what's at stake, Ken disappeared and had a lot of money with him, a far cry from what most Barbie stories entail. The music suits the atmosphere, and as you see a shadowy figure run by, it can actually throw you off guard if you don't expect it. One thing that's very cool is that the locations of most clues vary every time you load up a new game, and that also applies for where Ken is being held and who ultimately did the crime, out of three suspects.
For any Barbie trivia nuts, this is one of, if not the only game to feature the discontinued Becky, a wheelchair bound friend of Barbie who got scrapped due to her not being able to fit in Barbie's dreamhouse. She's played by Kath Soucie, and thankfully Grey DeLisle and Tara Strong are nowhere to be found in this. Speaking of actors in this game, did you know the first voice of Knuckles (well game Knuckles), played Ken in this? For whatever flack I gave Michael McGaharn, claiming he sounded uninterested, he managed to pull off Ken very well, I had no idea it was him doing the voice.
Becky's dialog tends to be a bit annoying though. I get this is for younger audiences, but I think some have been on a merry-go-round and to a haunted house before.
I always felt awkward about talking to suspects. A detective game, and I didn't want to talk to suspects? I'm a disgrace to the agency.
So Detective Barbie: Mystery of the Carnival Caper, I dunno, it was approved by Lazy Game Reviews and PushingUpRoses, and they tend to mock most games they cover. It even has an 8.1 on IMDb, and it's not ironic. It's almost as if this is actually a decent game for the time, but then again who trusts IMDb these days, its more like a place to let out steam.
Big Fun in Furbyland
My sister used to collect these, even sent out for a rare variant, and somewhere along the line, this got into our hands. Not sure if this came free with a Furby or mom got it because my sister like this a lot, details are fuzzy. The game was produced by ImageBuilder, behind those pre-series Arthur games (they existed before the show so that's why they don't have the theme song, just wanna set the record straight.), they helped co-produce a Tonka game for the PlayStation with a pre-Wii Data Design Interactive and made the age all classic.... some educational Shrek game.
This game is basically the bare minimum when it comes to what you'd expect in a Furby game. Design your own Furby, play around with it and play some minigames. To be fair they offer some variety when it comes to changing the fur, the hair, the eye color and size, all two of them. You get to play around with your Furby, feeding it, tickling it and messing around with the radio and scenery. But this is all for show, it makes no impact on the game, unless I didn't pick up on it.
Of your games you have a matching game where you load up certain Furbies onto a roller coaster, there's some problem solving I'll give it that. There's a flying game where you try to make it to the other side and get some stuff along the way. All I can say is that the music is very intense. There's also a quick time dance game. There's also a maze game, with spiders. Take of that what you will.
This also makes use of some decent animation that captures the essence of Furbies to a tee, take of that what you will. If you're good enough you can finish this in less than an hour, but who cares abut Furbies anymore? I mean if I had to pick I'd take this over LOL Surprise dolls, and that's in the context of me buying something for kids, have some faith in me.
Tonka Search and Rescue
There are a lot of Tonka games out there, so it was harder than you'd think to track this one down. The game's developer, MediaStation, had involvement in a lot of licenses for the PC and this wasn't their first venture into Tonka, though I never experienced it myself. It was said this game was a prize in cereal boxes, but I don't know the exact brand. Most I got was that it came in a General Mills-owned brand.
In this game you handle situations such as putting out fires, rebuilding destroyed areas, there is a better way to sum it up in a few words, but somehow I'm at a loss. Fortunately they won't hold you up on explanations unless you're willing to hear them. You have a maintenance section, a training program and three situations to help out in, all featuring characters that would probably suggest Tonka deserved a TV series or line of specials.
The maintenance section helps to show what goes into maintaining a helicopter, boat and fire truck, beyond the crazy decorations for the boat, and you also get a chance to dink around the inside before you get a chance to drive around, and by drive around, I mean you move for about a few seconds before you're bumped back to the front of the garage. I get people who'd play this would be at a young age and can't be trusted to drive big machinery, rare to see a game apply realism like that, I mean unless this is done to test the engine and make sure they can move at all.
The training section is fine enough, no debates on how they handle rescue protocol, but your instructor is pretty adamant on you taking a breather after each rescue. I mean I get it, your hand can get tired after moving your mouse around a lot. The training sections are actually not reflective of the big rescue missions, as in they are a bit more realistic than the training.
First up, you put out a fire for a burning warehouse, shovel away the remnants and other aspects. This is more like a visual lesson, where we see what each truck or other vehicle is responsible for and what they can do, that would account for the other two missions. After this you forego building a new warehouse and instead build an amusement park over it. On one hand, this occurred on a concrete dock so I guess the amusement park would be a better choice, on the other, it's funny that we get a picture of the warehouse, and the first time we see it in game it's gone.
Amusement park? Pier? Carnival? One of these ain't right... Also, funny how they bring up they needed an amusement park, around the time the warehouse caught fire. I smell arson.
Next is a zoo that was hit by an earthquake, basically everything that could go wrong did, and obviously you pick up the pieces, fixing the exhibits and returning the animals to their proper habitats, getting the idea to what they're most comfortable with. Also chromakeyed explosion in demolition. They always give you the option to decorate the area when you're done.
Of all the games I've talked about, this game has the most offers for printable images.
Lastly, and this one stuck out to me for whatever reason. Guess I always liked water-based rescues, and this is it, clearing the way of a bridge blocked by a fallen tree, rescuing people stuck in a ravine, and other stuff I forgot about.
It's all a crash course for various trucks and other construction tools. Only problem is at times the mouse controls are kinda finicky. If this was timed it would make for a miserable experience. If at an early age you wanna get into stuff like this, for the sake of having it all laid out... on second thought it's better you get this first hand or free in a cereal box, there isn't that much.
Crayola Vehicle Voyages
Like Tonka, there are a lot of Crayola games, and this one was much harder to find, even more than the Tonka game. While copies are available, who knows if they would work on modern computers or virtual machines? The only footage of this game comes in the form of a let's play done with a relatively poor camera capture.
This is a coloring game revolving around vehicles, hence the title. The idea is simple, but there were quirks I never understood, such as animations that would play at random. Turns out that they play once you fully color an image. You can save your images, which is really all you can ask for in a game like this, to preserve your pictures.
The presentation is top notch, and easily memorable in that regard. It was produced by Engineering Animation, whatever happened to them, and oddly published by IBM. Was this exclusive to Crayola games?
There really isn't much else I can say about this. It's a Crayola game about cars, you get what you paid for. This is like school where you have one period to draw and have fun.
Fisher Price Big Action Garage
Let's end things off with a game I rediscovered recently. I remembered what it was, the characters, most of the games and other aspects, but for the life of me I couldn't remember the name. But since I could remember everything else, I decided to go to Reddit, and stressed that it was not Putt Putt. Long story short this was resolved right away.
The game was developed by Funnybone Interactive, who were behind games in the JumpStart series, which I never grew up with. While their logo isn't shown in the game's opening, you can find it in some more obscure places.
This is based on a track set Fisher Price sold at the time, I think I had it, or something similar. This was years ago.
The game has you take the role of a red car with a cap as he tries to save his friend KC from getting sent to the junkyard. Seeing stuff like this, Firehouse Tales, and Bigfoot Presents really shows how Cars was far from cutting edge on character design. Like putting two and two together, it can be different, but it's been done.
It's a basic point and click adventure, barring any educational aspects, lest they were even meant to be there, though this is unique, as it makes use of 2D scenes and has 3D music videos, notably a car wash where you go there through a scripted event. You get to detail a car, which you can print out, you do a maze and get a little musical number at the end, you get to do a ghost shooting game which harkens back to Stinky's Goo Toss, you get to learn about patterns as you clean a polluted river, you do a race with some of the worst audio consistency I've ever heard and you get to learn how to do engine maintenance.
Disregard any questions on whether or not this would constitute as open heart surgery for anthropomorphic cars.
This game was like my own Subway Perfection ad. I remembered the game with almost complete clarity, aside from maybe some parts of dialog. All that escaped me was the name, and I knew this wasn't lost. Even the most mediocre things can have more value when you lost them for so long and found them again. It was exactly as I remembered it, and I'm glad I can rediscover it to put that mystery to rest.
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