Hey Arnold! is certainly a respectable show, standing out amongst its peers, having a near timeless quality and managing to appeal to city life at a time when suburban livings dominated cartoons like it. But at the same time, it's full of problems.
Characters were slowly degraded over the years, like many were surrendering to their archetypes and sacrificing whatever third dimensions they had (save for enemies and most recurring characters it seems), Arnold being a big example where at one time he had this slightly goofy charm and, just to remind you, he's a kid goddamnit. His attitude in the earlier seasons was better fleshed out, funny, and above all, not preachy. Compare that to Arnold in later seasons, basically a moralistic plank who has to help everyone else get on track, why else was this a focal point to one episode?
You may disagree, but later era Hey Arnold! episodes just didn't have the charm of older ones. It's a time when the Games era was better than the other era. Frankly the only major takeaway I got from the later seasons was Helga, she became a bit more mellow or adjustable in these later episodes, or maybe she got more entertaining, or maybe her developing voice helped to make the character more bearable to listen to.
Not to mention, I feel like the writing wasn't that good. Don't get me wrong, when they do it good they do it great, but I feel like nine times out of ten, things just so happen to get resolved very easily, or someone did a soft reboot of an earlier scene and ran it by again. The pieces to a conflict at times comes way too easily. The writers rely too heavily on writers conveniences, returning to the status quo, using strawmans to justify fake 180s (Rhonda especially), archetypes, lack of development, oh yeah, and the show tended to recycle plots. A lot, by the standards of other shows. Not even SpongeBob recycled as much as this show, and that has more episodes. Hell, they basically borrowed the plot from an 80s sitcom episode. A reference works better if it's brief and for a joke, not played straight.
My cynicism with beloved shows stems from the fact that people are often too reluctant to look into legitimate flaws, and the golden term, on the tip of my tongue- hypocrisy. Really the only reason anyone should see more recent Hey Arnold! episodes is that in later seasons they have the more twisted episodes. I would maintain that Ghost Bride is the best of that crop, and Sid and Germs has the most twisted nightmare sequence, hands down. I'm not even gonna compare it to older episodes for the sake of keeping things as neutral as they possibly can.
But oh right, I have a list. If you all bothered to stay after this little tirade, here're the top 6 Hey Arnold! episodes that I personally consider the worst. Why six? Because the extra number refers to the one objective takeaway the Nostalgia Critic has.
#6: Gerald's Tonsils
I'm not gonna consider Hey Arnold to be the most realistic cartoon, hell, I'm more than aware of how things just so happen to work in everyone's favor. However, where they get it right, they're usually at their worst. So what, Gerald gets his tonsils removed and people laugh at his adjusting voice, for a stark bulk of the episode?
This episode is lower on the list because by the end of it, it's just a very unsatisfying experience. It's one thing to just roll with the joke and not let it bother you, it's another when the same joke is thrown at you constantly. Gerald is teased over his voice and that point is driven home harder than it needs to be, then when he finally sacks up and owns up to it, people still get at it.
You could say it's petty to get upset over teasing, I just didn't find it funny. My hangup with teasing in general is that if it didn't work the first time, half the time it won't dissuade people from doing it again until they get a reaction. It's basically a lose lose situation, and for here while there is some kind of pay-off it just wasn't satisfying enough. By this point Gerald's actor was the only constant actor who went through puberty, so I can understand karma in the form of a tonsillectomy would've been too big of a stretch.
Thank god people praise Avatar more, otherwise it'd be a harder sell to criticize an episode this way. You can make a realistic scenario and make it satisfying by the end, this is still fiction after all, nobody wants to be reminded of reality when they watch cartoons, it's escapism. Apparently the people behind Rocket Power loved the idea so much they used it for one of their episodes, just like they did for the hooky episode.
#5: Helga's Makeover
Here's a relatively hot take, a show's first season should be held to the same scrutiny as its later seasons. If they're praised on the same level as later seasons, we have to allow the other extreme. SpongeBob's first season wasn't that great, I have two reasons to back that up. The Simpsons had some stinkers even in their prime, Moaning Lisa has the worst b-plot in the show's entire history. This episode was in the show's first season by the way.
Sometimes it's incredibly easy to find an episode that wears its message on the sleeve. Episodes in that crop are typically girl power episodes, and this is no exception. At times characters' personalities are warped to help sell the message, why else would the boys, including Arnold, seek to prank the girls? I think it was way too obvious to have Helga be the one to encourage girls to not worry about their appearance, way to infringe on how they want to live. Somehow the animation in this episode is more uncanny than the other early episodes, and I can't not remember the ending, I remember it in such fine detail that rewatching it will only make things worse for me.
I'd go into a social-political tangent, but instead, why don't I just tell you how I think this should've gone down? Realistically, Helga would've been booted from the slumber party for not abiding to the standards set for it and team up with the boys to pull a prank. They would see a girl can be just as into the stuff guys are. Gee, it's almost as if guys and girls are equal. But no, apologetics have to disrupt the balance a tad.
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy did something similar to this, nothing about it felt right, well mostly. Sure Billy can be a jerk at times, okay sexist, but that's because he's an idiot. In that episode he was slightly more knowing, and Mandy was more nervous. She could've scared Ms. Doolin into a well deserved grave if she wasn't nerfed to push a message.
And yes, Codename Kids Next Door handled things better on that front. Hell, they weren't even afraid to represent the more toxic side to feminism, I think they called her Fanny for a reason, because she's a pain in the-
#4: Helga and the Nanny
...nailed it.
Ever encounter a situation where you find yourself unable to root for anyone? This is that kind of situation. Helga is forced into the throws of a strict German nanny, who winds up overstepping her boundaries. I get proper behavior, but stuff like outfits, curfews, and whatever else I might've forgot is well out of the standards of modern society, modern American society at least.
This could've been a chance for Helga to better herself and potentially get Arnold interested as she would seek to become nicer. This could've been a chance for Helga to potentially corrupt her nanny and give her an idea why she is basically not very liked by her peers. There is another thing, but I run the risk of hypocrisy, and I doubt my own explanation can justify it. There're just so many other directions this episode could've gone, but it didn't.
Come to think of it, a lot of Hey Arnold episodes tended to have either disappointing ends or nothing much to their plots, yet many of those are at least bearable enough to watch. This is more disappointing because it followed a more infamous episode. Those who saw it hoped the b-segment would be better, hence higher standards had on it. Needless to say, this didn't live up to those set standards.
#3: Stuck in a Tree
Hey, remember that time Arnold and Eugene got stuck on a roller coaster? Arnold has too much faith in Eugene apparently. I like Eugene for the most part, and I get the idea, he has constant optimism in spite of his bad luck, but this episode is enough to make you wonder.
This episode got under my skin. While it's good to be optimistic, it's not always surefire. Yes, ironically I went on a tangent about toxic positivity sometime ago. But look at it like this, while being cynical isn't ideal, it can help in the longrun. You can imagine the worst possible scenario, and ultimately accept it if it comes true, or realize that what you get isn't as bad as you'd think it would be.
Eugene was really annoying in this episode, and if I didn't mention it before, it has a pretty dour message. Optimism can solve anything, so cram it down everyone's throats. Optimism is second to denial, if you go on assuming things will always be fine, what if you meet a dire circumstance that you can't change? It doesn't help that Chocolate Boy returned with the fire department. Would've been funny if they came at the request of someone else for a nice little twist.
Or better yet, why not have an episode where Eugene's optimism gets questioned, whether he annoys the wrong person or fails to liven up a situation, and falls into a bout of depression, one that causes a disruption of the natural order if you really wanna be more out there, it'd be a fun diversion, and certainly better than what this episode offered. It was essentially a lesser version of another episode.
For perspective, watch this and then watch Eugene Goes Bad, and tell me you don't see a form of erosion.
#2: Rhonda's Glasses
I'm all for social causes, my issue is that the wrong people represent them. Women are funny, do we really want Sarah Silverman to represent them? African Americans deserve to be seen as equal, do we really want Maxine Waters and Spike Lee to represent them? Animation is for everyone, do we really want 90% of the animation community to establish algorithms, parrot popular opinions, encourage further division and continue to give LSMark a platform?
I have talked so much about this episode I couldn't help but include this, especially so high. Hey Arnold was realistic, but when it came to touching upon major issues they tended to get cold feet. Is it because of management? In this episode, it has to be one of the worst examples of nerfing I've ever seen. They have a very obvious allegory for Rosa Parks, but instead of African Americans, we have geeks.
In this situation, who would be the defacto Rosa Parks? This would've been a good time to give Sheena a major role. She's the Dogpoo Petuski of the series, always around but never getting to do anything. But that would've made too much sense. No, let's have Rhonda be it. Isn't that like having a documentary based on Martin Luther King Jr. be directed by Tom Metzger?
Nobody ever learns anything in Hey Arnold, things return to normal by the end of it, so why have someone who regresses as soon as the last few seconds of an episode headline a message on equal rights? Especially if you introduce a strawman to justify Rhonda in this?
This episode lands higher because it takes a serious issue like racism and relegates it to the most benign degree imaginable. Sorry, but this was a dud, Pan, you're an idiot, I'm glad I never followed you.
I mentioned this countless times, but Static Shock handled issues on race better than this episode. So what's the standards with Nickelodeon, they can't talk about racism but... some other thing? Also apparently Cartoon Network's standards are so iffy they actually insisted the Powerpuff Girls beat up a villain even after he had been relieved of his corruption.
Dishonorable Mentions
Arnold Betrays Iggy would've been too obvious of a choice. Anything I could say about it has been said by other reviewers, and it holds true. It basically turned people off from Iggy and the plot happened for the sake of it happening. Any message it was trying to deliver was blurred by incredibly poor execution.
Curly's Girl I haven't seen, because frankly I already hate Rhonda. Did you not see what made the #2 spot? I probably would've hated it regardless, but I already get the idea behind Curly. This seems like a nothing episode backed by embellishment that others would be mocked for.
Student Teacher basically ran on fumes close to the end, and basically made Olga seem unintentionally toxic. When you think about it, there's a slight air of honesty with Bob and Miriam, whereas Olga is in borderline denial, and that's worse because they would shut out genuine criticism. It made me like two characters already infamous.
#1
I've seen only one other worst Hey Arnold episode listicle, and none of the choices on it have made my own. I want to make it clear this is my own opinion and you can take what was said with a grain of salt. It seems a lot of the worst episodes of Hey Arnold tend to be that way unintentionally, or just suffer the worst of aspects related to its often poor writing.
Any episode could've made this list based on those aspects alone, but when I made this list, I had a very clear idea what would make the first spot, one that takes the worst of Hey Arnold's faults and made me overthink a cartoon of all things. No episode I've seen then or since has come close to dethroning it. I'm going to lower myself to a standard that will come back to haunt me, but then again who actually reads this shit... unironically.
Casa Paradisio
It's not so much what this episode did, but the implications it left behind. The borders are like one big happy family, and I need to bring that up so what I say next will make sense. The episode is basically about Phil trying to break from a dysfunctional family, and everything that happens basically reinforces his motivations.
The borders sack up to fix things, not because it's the right thing to do, not out of a willingness to change and not even to potentially walk a mile in his shoes, but to save their own asses, let's be real. If Phil was swayed into moving on his own volition, everything was fine and dandy, then of course you can act to protect thine arse. If the borders were genuine in trying to clean up their act, then it would lead to a more genuine impact.
They didn't care enough to try there, and it just left a rotten taste in my mouth.
The borders are essentially a dysfunctional family, and they were selfish enough to antagonize Arnold in order to get Mr. Smith's package, argue even when it wasn't allowed, also Suzy should consult her therapist about potential Stockholm Syndrome, I doubt Oskar can beat anyone's ass. Not to mention, this feels like that one episode of The Simpsons, There's No Disgrace Like Home, back when they abided to sitcom stereotypes before they got off the ground later on, and by that I mean much later.
Dysfunctional families are a hot button topic to me, where it's not they who have the problem, it's you apparently. Bite your tongue, nothing needs to be fixed, nobody wants to hear it, and don't forget, you're here forever. By the way, I got that idea in the conclusion of this episode, where things return to normal by the end of it, Phil gets to suffer, everyone saved their own asses, and the vicious cycle can continue.
I think we're well beyond the need to focus on dysfunctional families these days. Malcolm in the Middle's finale basically showed just how useless it was and that it led to an unsatisfactory conclusion; you focus so much on the outline you forget about what can happen in between each milestone. Walking away would've been a better conclusion on that.
We're in an era where dysfunctional families are common and well, helmed by delusional matriarchs and people only out for themselves, and seeking to put all the weight on the weakest link or who can provide for them, and this episode was so bad that it got me on quite a tangent. There was nothing more to it. Game over. It sucks. The end.
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