Saturday, August 20, 2022

The Worst Classic Simpsons Episode

So, long ago I have made a few posts giving some choice words to particular classic episodes of The Simpsons. Now, I'm sick to the back teeth of people complaining about the newer seasons, but I didn't just single those episodes out spitefully. Though looking back, I was incredibly out of line. I'm sorry The Cartridge Family, I should've known the moral was that Homer Simpson was the kind of person who shouldn't own a gun. I'm sorry Bart Gets Hit By a Car, I misconstrued the climax and assumed Marge willingly bungled a settlement. I'm sorry Moaning Lisa, the a segment was the best thing while the b segment was incredibly underwhelming. I'm sorry There's No Disgrace Like Home, you were only the tip of the ice burg when it came to favoritism toward dysfunctional families, thank you Casa Paradisio and Malcolm in the Middle.

And I just hate A Car in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish on the grounds of being too on the nose with political sentiments, of course it would err toward one direction over the other.

In truth, there is only one truly detestable episode of The Simpsons during its peak years. One that still pisses me off to this day, and every time I think about it, it gets worse. And that episode, is War of the Simpsons. It was written by John Swartzwelder, one of the more heralded writers of The Simpsons. I'm sure I've seen some of his other episodes at some point, but because of his reputation, I need to hold him to that standard, and John, I am disappointment.

Right off the bat, this episode is off. The premise is that Homer and Marge go to a marriage conselor retreat after Homer gets drunk and makes an advance on Maude Flanders. Does that seem like something Homer Simpson would do? After the events of Homer Badman later on, I'd say the woman who never heard of Homer Simpson had a hell of a time ghost writing this episode, after going back in time of course.

This has the same level of off as There's No Disgrace Like Home, in terms of established personalities that would radically change over the years, but that had the excuse of being made in the first season, when the writers were trying to lay the foundation. Even the visuals seem off, too many dynamic angles that make this feel like a retelling of a Creepypasta. I found a scene from this episode online, and I had to pull out after four seconds because my gut sank for how quickly things escalated.

If you want a good Homer drunk flashback, Homer's Night Out is the superior choice for some hilarious absurdity.

After that, it's all fluff. There's an uncomfortable scene with Marge venting her fustrations, wow, and this was only within the second season, it's almost as if it was just forced in for the sake of having a conflict, and if I don't like the person I am supposed to be siding with, you have a horribly executed episode. Homer decides to go fishing and catch an elusive catfish, oh gee, I wonder if this episode is gonna end with Homer giving up the catfish to please his cunt of a wife- that's exactly what happened.

You know, for a show that built itself on smart humor and subversion, this is as by the numbers as you can get, in terms of conflict and resolution. It would've been much better if Homer got rid of the fish and he didn't have to.

"Okay, I would rather get rid of the fish, and so goes that problem!"

"I actually wanted you to be open to resolve our problems and save our marriage."

"D'oh!"

Or perhaps the fish could talk and give them both advice to better fix their marriage. Or perhaps Homer could twist it to Marge driving him to drink and both would realize they're both destructive to one another, and would work to fix things.

What we got here was just hollow. Keep in mind, both had faced trouble with their relationship before. Not once. Not twice. Not thrice. Some Enchanted Evening, The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer, possibly more before or after. The fact that there is more marital dysfunction that occurs after this, the fact that Homer's alcoholism is played for comedy more often and rarely shows the same results as what occurred earlier in the episode, and the fact that the only time Homer would ever go as far as sexual assault was through a pure coincidence, it shows how worthless this episode is. What can we take away from this? Well, I guess this episode reflected the show's misandry. The show has always been liberal.

Lisa the Simpson has more worth than this episode, at least there it reflected Lisa's degradation, and at most just served as an ego boost. Every time I go back to this episode, it is more and more painful, and if it were up to me, at least I'm entitled to half of her shit. Just because such attitudes are justified that doesn't make it any more pleasent. I had more fun watching most of the newer episodes of The Simpsons than this, I knew where I stood with those, and I'm referring to pre-season 20 stuff definitely, but some later season stuff applies as well.

I was gonna show some select quotes from a blog that reviewed this episode, but I decided not to, so there's my explanation, the end. It sucks.

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