Two Shitty Wicker Man Parodies

 It dawned on me, better late than never, but both the Angry Video Game Nerd and Nostalgia Critic, two faces of YouTube review culture, pioneers if you will, two reviewers who're grinding to make ends meet, two reviewers that I refuse to see through rose-tinted sunglasses, they both did shitty Wicker Man parodies, and incorporated memes.

Now, though I've never seen either version of The Wicker Man, at the very least I know about the finale, for it is the basis for the parodies done. This refers to the Nostalgia Critic's review of the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man and the Angry Video Game Nerd's review of Shrek: Fairy Tale Freakdown.

Nostalgia Critic's

Nostalgia Critic's Wicker Man review came out during his skit-happy phase, which is important to bring up as a bulk of them incorporate skits relevant to the films he was covering, well most of them, you can see Doug pop a boner to Dr. Seuss most of the time. This was around the time Rachel... Johnson? Left the show and was the introduction to Tamera Chambers.

This was during a dedicated month to Nicholas Cage movies, and for its infamy I can see why Doug decided to cover it. So, does he get crucified for not liking the original? Fuck no he's not about contrarianism unless it's convenient to him. Don't expect him to get burned in the titular wicker man, it all goes down to... memes. Yeah, Nostalgia Critic is driven to address the Not the Bees meme. Does it accomplish anything? Is there a finer point? Yeah, there is. It reflects low quality writing with no nuance. What's the application of the meme? You Don't Say has a better application than Not the Bees.

The review was cringe then, and it's cringe now, much like the Nostalgia Critic at large, and nothing has ever changed that.

Angry Video Game Nerd's

But first a word from our sponsors... Is the Angry Video Game Nerd returning to form? Probably not.

This review came out around the time Shrek was added to the National Film Registry thanks to its cultural significance, along with being a damn good movie.

First warning sign, James is reviewing a Game Boy Color game, only the Game Boy Color game, one that can be easily summed up for its poor control and gameplay. But as something that is sponsored, you know what that means? An overlong skit and establishment of the source material, along with dinking around with Game Boy Video.

It takes forever to get into the game review, and it ends before you know it, but where does Wicker Man come into play? Well, playing on the cultural significance aspect, this is twisted as Shrek becoming a main point of governmental influence, also Brogres. I haven't heard that term since the 2010s. Shrek is a great movie, don't get me wrong, but I'm no fan of subcultures, too mentally draining, even cancerous in some circles.

The Draw

Both episodes incorporate Wicker Man parodies, both incorporate dead or overdone memes, both came out well into the heyday of either reviewer, both use skits where they were rarely necessary before, both are cringeworthy in their own special ways.

But which one of the two is worse? The AVGN video left a rotten taste in my mouth, and didn't even function well as a dedicated review. This would've been a good time to do a marathon of Shrek games, and if you're so desperate to incorporate brogre culture, have the AVGN become one. You don't have to take it as far as retreading stuff like the Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre reviews, but anything would be better than what we got.

The Nostalgia Critic, well, I never want to revisit any Nostalgia Critic review, even thinking about his Wicker Man review made me cringe, it's a given for many of his reviews at this point, along with trying to make jokes out of the most innate occurrences he could find.

Both seem pointless when you really think about it, and frankly both are trash. If I marked any disservice to Shrek, just know I'm condemning the nerd for tainting its name with his crappy review, and keep in mind he said the game sucked.

Things about Sonic Heroes

 Sonic Heroes is one of my favorite Sonic games of all time. I maintain it is one of the last objectively good Sonic games before the dark ages, and that is a hill I'm willing to die on. It's the kind of game that's packed to the gills with action, fun, and a bunch of petty stuff to think about. Such as...

I like how Sonic has friends in this, foregoing the past spirit in the Genesis era where Sonic reflects many a 90s kid, wasting away in a dirty basement with no meaningful social life, and don't get me started on where Tails falls into this.

It's interesting how this is the last piece of Sonic media where Tails is voiced by a child actor, ever since the 4Kids era, SEGA put their foot down and didn't want to blow through their checkbook and hours of auditions just to keep things going. It's more convenient to have an adult female voice Tails, and it's something people can get behind.... unless you're a pedophile who gets off to hearing the voices of little boys.

In spite of not being centered on them, Team Dark has the best campaign in the entire game, best story, best dynamic, I just summed up the essentials right there. I wish Shadow the Hedgehog better explored Shadow's origin, and by that I mean have it in the spirit of Sonic Heroes, you can have the different cast, but the edge factor of Shadow the Hedgehog is burning a hole through my threshold.

The difficulty level is pretty unorganized; on the title screen, it basically goes normal, hard, easy, then normal. People are always gonna play the normal difficulty first, Team Sonic, and follow it up with Team Dark, the hard difficulty, so when they get to Team Rose, the easy mode, as in one with shorter levels and a tutorial, it's basically like whiplash. Though if anything people can consider this a nice break from harder campaigns.

Team Chaotix is technically the most expendable team in the game. Beyond establishing a twist involving Eggman, you can cut this team out and it'd only effect a minor percentage of the story at large, and no I'm not suggesting it just be Sonic the whole way, I'm a grown ass man... who likes cartoons and this game. They are essentially just an alternative version of the normal difficulty. Also during team battles you only face two teams each time so really if it was just teams Rose, Dark and Sonic it really wouldn't hamper the game's progression much.

The dialog placement can be hilarious at worst, with Knuckles commenting on the intensity of running a loop before even clearing the starting slope. Also Eggman referring to any team as "boys", even Team Rose, and well, Team Dark if you wanna get technical.

This is one of the few games where spamming attacks actually feels rewarding. If you tried natural progression you'd essentially be on boss fights longer than usual, and it's all about getting the lowest time possible.

Scott Drier sounds like Dan Green after smoking the finest green. I don't know if the Sonic series was Scott's first role, but the quality of his chops are incredibly varied, they land well most of the time, but otherwise he sounds more chill than the situation gives him any right to be. I just didn't like it much, but I don't really have a definitive favorite actor for Knuckles, though I will say I admire the range of his actor in the first Sonic Adventure, did you know he played Ken in Detective Barbie: Mystery of the Carnival Caper?

Speaking of actors, I feel like this is where the actors really began to feel comfortable in their roles. I get why they were swapped out, if anything 4Kids offered a smaller price or it was just more convenient, but they went through similar progression.

I will say this, this game sold me on David Humphrey's performance as Shadow, Lani Minella killed it as Rouge in this game, and thank goodness Omega's voice was consistent, because I hate Jon St. John with a passion. Sarah Wulfeck (whatever her last name is), really works best in small doses, but Cream the Rabbit's voice history had the most consistency all things considered. Jennifer Doulliard... she's okay, I had time to digest her at her best, but I feel like Lisa Ortiz struck the right level of spunk, Amy just sounds like a bratty teenager at worst.

Ryan Drummond and Jason Griffith are basically on the same level for their performances, both were just getting into the role and were cut off before they could carry on with the honing of their roles. Roger Craig Smith sucks ass, but not to the point I'd go beyond that statement, I lack good taste, not sense.

I give this game bonus points for using, hands down, the best sixth generation game engine RenderWare, even if most in-game cutscenes contrast heavily with its other cinematics.

But at the end of the day, this game got relatively positive reviews in its heyday, ammo for my arsenal, for my opinions that reek of arse.

Let's Look at an Old ED Article

 In high school I used to frequent Encyclopedia Dramatica. One of the articles I used to check out the most often was the one on video game reviewers. And no I don't have a particular reason why. I recognize many of them, others not so much, but if there's one thing I love, it's research. So, I'm gonna go over every section of the article and try to piece together summaries of every reviewer, otherwise determining what happened to them since then.

A common theme you may find relates to the Angry Video Game Nerd, Irate Gamer or Asalieri. Things may get repetitive because they are a good way to provide proper context on most reviewers listed. With that said, maybe you'll recognize some reviewers, maybe I'll introduce you to someone new, maybe you'll just glance over an analysis of something nobody gives a shit about, and by that I mean me.

I won't go into too deep of detail with many of these reviewers, if I were to do that we'd be here all day. Here's the article if you wanna follow along: https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Video_Game_Reviewers

5,000+ Subscribers

The article divides reviewers into two camps, more notable reviewers for better or worse, and lesser known reviewers that have made their way onto the list one way or another.

Angry Video Game Nerd

This would normally be the part where I wax on about how Angry Video Game Nerd used to be the greatest thing ever and yadda yadda yadda. AVGN was influential, and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing. What got Angry Video Game Nerd such traction was the lack of a market on retro game reviews at the time, at most you got old magazine reviews.

Because he was so popular, he influenced many an angry reviewer, who you'll see covered soon enough. Looking back, influence aside, I don't consider AVGN to be good. First and foremost, he's a comedic reviewer, playing games while holding an exaggerated attitude, and yet people take what he says seriously, I mean to be fair legitimate points suffice, but stuff like his Lester the Unlikely review really showcase how far he has to reach for most of his jokes.

The less that is said about his new content the better, Screenwave definitely played a role in how far James is sinking, and I can say with certainty Justin Silverman is trying to co-opt the entire channel. James tries these new things because they are in with the mainstream internet, also the fact James rarely plays games himself and even resorts to cheating in his early days. Just saying.

It's beautiful to see people like him get taken down a notch, never make an exception for anybody.

Aqualunggamereviews

First of many obscure reviewers on this list. Aqualung, or Ken Blakey, was one of many reviewers that came out of the woodwork in 2007 when AVGN mania was getting big. Unlike other contemporaries, Ken is a lot more mellow, which allowed him to avoid the brunt of rip-off allegations that would soon plague the internet. He focuses on retro content and is still very active to this day.

Ken's brand lies on more serious game analyses, at least nowadays, something that is otherwise rare in the retro gaming scene.

Armake21

Here's another familiar name for those who used YouTube in 2007. Though he received equal popularity, at his core he was an AVGN clone that people were okay with for some reason, maybe it's just appealing to the right people?

For his work you had to be there, I don't want to go too deep into a cornerstone of the retro community because I'm bound to get something wrong. He was active as late as last year, and I even saw him comment on an Irate Gamer review, a comment that was otherwise not negative. I can tell he at the very least grew as a person.

Asalieri

Not necessarily known for game reviews, rather reviewing reviewers. One thing I like about Asalieri is, aside from his personality, he was one of the few Irate Gamer critics who didn't just go off the rip-off stigma, he actually brought on legitimate criticisms, beyond any small nitpicks, but who's counting? Also known for being an early critic of That Guy With the Glasses, man was ahead by several years.

His video production has halted, but he is still floating around on social media and has become associated with another reviewer who will be covered soon. He maintained a lot of associates over the years, who will also be covered. I like him just fine, he speaks his mind and didn't reject my friend request on Steam, I got nothing else.

Ben Yahtzee Croshaw

Yahtzee is best known for Zero Punctuation, which I have never watched, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt that it's spectacular. All I have to really offer is disagreement on his review of Silent Hill Homecoming if it's on the basis of it being by a western developer. Guess that comes with the upbringing.

One thing to note is that one reviewer, DarkLordJadow, borrows the concept from Zero Punctuation for some reviews he did. Why lift a specific context near verbatim? Who knows...

BlackBusterCritic

Takes me back to the days of Sonic Brain Fart, when Sonic fans were truly at their worst. Don't get it twisted, Jamin Williams called out people who deserved it, and some of them got out of it okay, as we may see soon enough, swallow your pride. Most I've seen for game reviews was coverage of Sonic and the Black Knight, though I consider Secret Rings to be far more shitty.

I've seen plenty of movie reviews by him, and they are straight up fire. Guy's got a hell of a personality. He more recently turned his focus to poking fun at the Xbox community, and to be fair a crappy franchise isn't as harmful as a corporation seeking to hurt gaming, guy has his priorities in check.

Caddicarus

I stopped watching Caddicarus a long time ago. At one point I had mad respect for his honesty and often times contrarian views; he liked the 1995 Casper movie and hated Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase. His humor is great and I will maintain that. Recently he carved a niche on compilation-type videos, but what made me drop off is one of his Dreamworks ones, where he offered a common opinion on how bad they've become, and from there I never got back into it.

Guy's still good, but I've lost interest long ago.

Classic Game Room

This series had actually predated many of the reviewers covered here, even AVGN's 2004 pilots, starting in 1999 on a startup website.

Simply put, it is a very basic review show that has a persistent framework for every episode, including a bog-standard modern game spin-off. The show is no longer in production, and this is owed to greed. The creator, Mark Bussler, used Patreon to support himself but became over-reliant on it for many projects, and tried to get even more money by bringing his show to Amazon Prime. Nowadays he's working in the book publishing industry.

I'd like to think Bobsheaux would move his show to Amazon Prime several years from now, right after he moves to Patreon full time.

David Clothier

Okay I'm at a loss. Either this guy pissed someone off real fierce and put him on this article, or he's an immature asshole who got torn a new one. Sounds like an off-brand Austin McBroom based on the details I got from this.

I got nothing, let's skip.

Gamemaster81

Best reason for this guy's inclusion was his popularity justifying it, or association with someone else further down the list. I've seen some of his videos, and at worst he can be kinda boring. It's said he was tied to scams and partnership ploys, but apparently this either wasn't enough to take him down, or he had since mended his ways, or people just stopped caring.

If you're in to slower content, see if this guy is up your alley.

The Gaming Goose

I don't know the context of the image they used for his section, but it can be anything but good. Gaming Goose is a former Asalieri protege. Looking at his most recent review, from 11 years ago, his channel boasts some decent effects, an engaging personality and informative perspectives on games, along with some humor peppered in.

I saw him participate in a tribute video relating to a reviewer who will be covered soon, so at the very least it seems like he's doing well for himself, for whatever may have got him EDed in the first place.

Haedox

I saw one or two videos by this guy a while back, and I dunno, they didn't really do a whole lot for me. Something about him rubs me the wrong way, either his personality or views.

He had recently called it quits due to mental health concerns, so be it, follow your conscious and do what will keep you stable.

Happy Console Gamer

One of the more enthusiastic retro gamers out there, best summation. Apparently once had involvement with Mike Matei and some others before that fell through. Either he is guilty by association or did something seriously wrong, but looking into one of his videos, it's one of those "if you're in the mood" types. It gave me the confidence to feel it could be good.

He has done nothing big to get his own article, and I think he was just big enough to cover and essentially call him a douchebag in three different ways.

Hellsing920

Another perennial figure of the old YouTube. He did it all, rants, movie reviews and video game reviews. They're basically let's play style reviews amounting to basic complaints, but you do you I guess. He is perhaps best known for Reaction and Review, which basically had Hellsing react to scenes from a movie, but not showing them for copyright sake. I liked how he gave a positive review of the 2004 Catwoman film.

More recently he was known for his association with closeted lolcow Clay Claymore, with the only thing they had in common was their hatred of MrEnter and Doug Walker, and, sad to say, Hellsing passed away some time ago. Wanna hear something creepy? A long time ago I made a journal reacting to the death of HappyCabbie and remarked Hellsing was next. It's chilling when your predictions come true.

All else I can say, rest in peace.

Irate Gamer

A perennial punching bag in YouTube's early days, and a sign of how overly-protective people are of creators. How bad was it? They caused Irate Gamer to lose his partnership within days of getting it. I would've taken this more seriously if the entire bandwagon didn't consist of rampant pettiness. It got so bad I didn't even care about legitimate issues.

The Irate Gamer Sucks Blog is still getting updates, and it shows me just how sad and pathetic of a life the writer leads. In the era of EDP445, The Ace Family, Sam Pepper, Screenwave and countless others, apparently Chris Bores' idiocy is still more important. A-Log.

These days Chris posts infrequently on YouTube, but since then has received something of a re-evaluation, as his content is reflective of a foregone era. Also James is cool with him now. But I guess some memes never die.

I just used a bunch of words James used, I must be ripping him off.

Jedite1

Another relic of the old YouTube, though I never caught much of his content, he was fairly big back in the day. Guy's a mystery, his channel has since been removed and few archives circulate. For stuff like these, all you need to know is that people like him drew an audience, was good for the time but otherwise fell off.

Maybe he just decided to move on with his life?

Silent Rob

Perhaps best known for getting the anti-Irate Gamer bandwagon going, but also doing reviews. He distinguished himself from the AVGN by taking on a douchebag persona, one persisting to this day. It kinda works, I admire his honestly and staying true to the character. That's about it.

I'm in his Facebook group, he's associated with Asalieri, he has begun to hate the Angry Video Game Nerd, times have really changed.

Pat the NES Punk

I first heard of Pat through his appearance in the AVGN's Nintendo World Championship episode. I saw about a few episodes of Pat's show before I dropped off around the time he dedicated his efforts to podcasting. Long story short he became a total douchebag no longer worthy of anyone's time.

Also appeared on Pawn Stars at one point.

Pete Dorr

Negligible by today's standards, but still going. He seems chill enough, don't know what he did to piss people off but it seems he got out of it. He also does Twitch streams and let's plays, I caught him doing one for an obscure mail order Game Boy Advance game.

He's doing well, but otherwise not painfully interesting.

PlayItBogart

Back to the more relevant underdogs of the 2007 era. Many of his reviews had remained lost for several years but gradually started popping back up again. He otherwise strayed from the angry gamer persona and tried out some dry humor, other times he did both, which may be why he actually got decent numbers by then. Had a more relatable form of anger by the looks of his Hydlide review.

More recently, it seems he either became a drag queen or transitioned. I didn't know what to expect.

ProJared

Okay, I'm sure 80% of you were aware of the controversy he was involved in, where he was accused of cheating on his wife and exposure. One thing I respect him for is how he not only handled it greatly, but actually got out of it and is now going strong.

Funny thing is that the section on him was written before the controversy got out. They were both behind yet ahead of the curve.

RetroGamer3

Asalieri fans may recognize him through coverage of a few of his videos. At most I just saw Ed (his name)'s Dr Jekyll & Mr. Hyde review, and he ironically echoes how I feel about the game. Just keep moving, the hard part is not getting bored.

He is perhaps more infamous for his more pronounced love of AVGN and association with a more infamous YouTuber for false flagging videos criticizing him, as well as trying to combat trolling. Things slowed to a halt for Ed, but his negative review of AVGN's movie is getting reevaluated. He's a truther.

Retroware TV

Not so much a reviewer, rather a collective for game reviewers. Saw their logo some time before on an old Rerez video and an old PushingUpRoses review. Good site, but apparently held toxic standards. Moving on.

StillGaming

Looking into him, at first I thought his content was purged and he was an "at his peak" kind of guy, but after some deeper looking, it turns out he was a former contributor to That Guy With the Glasses.

One interesting quirk to StillGaming, or Lee, is that his persona is represented by a moving JPEG, showing him at different positions. I'll admit, I never saw that before. How prevalent was he on TGWTG? Well he appeared on their first anniversary special, but left before any other ones it seems. Guy had a hunch.

His activity is slim to none, he's not doing very much anymore aside from posting on Twitter.

Spax3

He's not known so much for his reviews, rather his drama. Years ago, during the 4Kids era of the Sonic series he was one of the more prominent figures in complaining about the actors present; think MrEnter when he bashed SpongeBob writers, but Spax was far more vocal. He also had a tendency to flag down videos criticizing him.

But since then, he had taken accountability for his mistakes and sought to better himself, making peace with the 4Kids cast, whoever he could access, even those he flagged. Seeing most of his posts he seemed to be genuinely apologetic, good on him, I'm glad he is showing he was truly sorry. There were some rough patches though, like sending images of self mutilation and stalking a girl over criticism. Guy was clearly facing some serious demons, this was in 2019, and years since it looks like he was at least trying to get help.

His old videos are floating around, but I snapped up two of his less egregious ones. If he wants me to take them down though I gotta honor the request.

SpoonyOne

Needs no further introduction. Okay maybe a little, 2007-era retro game reviewer, got picked up by That Guy With the Glasses, turned into an enormous asshole, became a human trainwreck, occasionally pops up online with content.

Watch Down the Rabbit Hole to know the full story, because it's exhaustive.

Stan Burdman

Watched a bunch of his content but never bothered again. Otherwise negligible, but brings a sense of sophistication to most of his angry reviews. There is some variety in emotion though, I'll give him that much. At most he was allegedly tied to selling games and banking through Amazon referrals.

Also formerly associated with Asalieri, but it seems that had petered out, he hasn't posted anything new since three years ago, but posts on Facebook.

Taco-Man

I really don't like this guy. Okay that's a stretch, I used to watch his content after discovering him through his series Snowy the Frostman, which I attest is actually decent. The more I watched him, the less funny he got. Basically banked through cheap nostalgia, surface level edgelord humor and charging money for his older content, suddenly.

He seems to have given up on game reviews and focused more on flash animation, hell, the one blurb of him on this article had been updated and, let me show you:

"A show about a cartoon taco that started out as Captain N parody that became a video game review show that was relevant for 3 days, is getting canceled soon because the creator realized that the show was not giving him as much YouTube money compare to his shitty parodies."

See? On the nose.

UrinatingTree

Alphabetical order is a bitch. We're back to perennial favorites, details above may apply here. He had vanished for several years before resurfacing and redirecting his content toward sports. Nothing more to say, other than it's nice to see old channels resurface in some regard.

Nothing more to say, this is turning into AVGN episode 200.

WizWar100

I never really saw much of WizWar in the past, but based on brief observations it looks as though he tried out the angry schtick. He had moved to a new channel at some point, and I actually caught something from it, what looked to be an endorsement of a SEGA plug and play console by AtGames, aka that piece of shit Rerez covered years back. He was also associated with Spax3 at one point. Interesting trivia, Spax took inspiration from WizWar and Jedite for his review of the Transformers Famicom game, and both associated with him at some point.

Seemingly ended on a high note, I haven't seen anything from him since 4 years ago. I have no fucking clue.

RazorFist

A reviewer of the assholish variety. He was known for unapologetic reviews that more often than not took the piss out of fanboys or existed for the sake of contrarianism. Associated with Asalieri, both hid a road bump, but seemingly patched things up.

Twist of the century, he became more dedicated to right wing political content, any gaming content would be associated with the former. I did not see that coming, but there you go, he's happy enough and nobody bothered to clown on him since. Cult of personality? Or maybe he's right and people don't want to admit it?

Less than 5,000 Subscribers

Well then, we're only half way through huh? There won't be a part 2. I'm gonna get this shit done.

AKewsticRockR

Apparently got started through an attempt at a clean version of a review of some crappy TMNT game for the NES, but that's not interesting enough. Perhaps better known for trying to ape on other reviewers, getting into a fight with the Irate Gamer, which the latter didn't even care enough to mention.

Last I saw of AKewsticRockR he had a shit ton of Irate Gamer videos, and my sodium levels skyrocketed with all that salt. He also apparently got into spats with Asalieri, Silent Rob and someone else who's gonna be addressed soon.

I remember watching a parody he did of Ray William Johnson, but he has since purged his YouTube and deleted his Twitter. Good riddance I guess.

Alexander4488

Aka the Game Dude, and a prominent target of pro-AVGN simping. Compared to Irate Gamer, Game Dude was the worst, not because he apparently plagiarized, but because of how he conducted himself. If it's obscure or a new installment in a long-running franchise, he would be sure to bash on it without much thought, he can go fuck himself, Sonic Heroes was awesome.

Also had the tendency to re-edit videos that did not meet his standards or were criticized. But apparently that was the only interesting thing about him.

It wasn't until years after I first heard of him that I finally understood the greater picture. He clearly had mental issues, taking major criticisms to heart and wanting to be seen in an approving light. Also nothing much else, just that he had been in legal trouble after bad encounters with his ex-girlfriend, and had fled the country. You sure ripping off the AVGN is worse?

If you want more info, check out this recent video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P106m3dtrpU

Isvaffel

Basically a 4Chan troll who posed as the AVGN, and had spearheaded an ironic following, though unfortunately he was overshadowed due to Irate Gamer rustling so many jimmies. Possibly one of the first to use misleading video titles to get people to click on his channel, and claiming to be the actual Angry Video Game Nerd. Had to be there.

His purpose fulfilled, he basically vanished at some point, but may we forever remember him for his magnum opus, his review of Super Metroid.

Bastard Gamer

Another Asalieri associate, until that petered out, until that got resolved. Along with game reviews he also did parodies of popular punching bags at the time. All else I could say is that if he cut his hair and got horn-rimmed glasses he could cosplay as Justin Silverman and get AVGN the time he so desperately lacks.

CaztheGamerGuy

I have no idea who he is. I name-dropped him long ago, he saw it, called it out, I apologized and that was the end of it. I don't know what led him to get listed on here, lest in a chad move he did it himself for free publicity. Looks like it could be good, so... thanks? Not safe to say he dropped off since his last review was over a year ago, but let's see what happens.

ConsoleVania

Basically a YouTube extension of an old British TV series Guru Larry dropped some time ago. Thing about extensions is that there is much context I've missed, and that this isn't produced with an internet audience in mind, at least a more contemporary one.

So pass.

Darknessthecurse

Another big name in late-2000s YouTube, but not big enough to be listed sooner. Best known for his Sonic reviews, and screaming, oh god the screaming. That's basically it, aside from rants he did. Probably butchered this something fierce.

The EMU Review

This was basically one of many ventures by Jason Heine. Whether or not this worked is up to anyone's interpretation. While it seems like he's straying from reviews, he did post some on his channel, I saw his review of Hooters Road Trip, and it was decent. Still going so it really requires no further digging.

FreezeCracker

He was a former associate of GameLife, the first YouTube video game review series. Geoff Mendicino (FreezeCracker), was the only one who was able to find success after the runner of GameLife got put on house arrest and basically killed the entire channel, along with his toxic nature. Geoff is a gaming tournament player and took part in an interview for Down the Rabbit Hole, which focused on GameLife, so check that out.

Furious Famicom Faggot

Not really a video game reviewer, rather an attempted flash parody series meant to poke fun at the burgeoning angry reviewer craze. This was made by SomethingAwful, aka the pioneers in digging out crap on the internet, until they became woefully irrelevant. 

FFF can be traced to one Dave Kelly, or Shmorky, or Daisy these days. For years, Shmorky was something of an enigma, either that or nothing much interesting went on with him. That is, until he was called out for pedophilia in 2016 on Kiwi Farms. Before then he had actually landed work on Adult Swim, he was behind the infamous This is Fine bumper by the way.

Futuramaooy

I had actually discussed him way back when. But to keep things consistent, here's a rundown. He posted reviews and otherwise mocked the Irate Gamer, then he disappeared for some time. He temporarily rebranded to Mega-Rhys before he went dark in the mid-2010s for whatever reason.

Aside from his profiles, his YouTube presence has been wiped clean. I have no idea what his content was actually like, and oh my, I'm curious.

Gamerweb 2.0

This came out when GameLife was still big and standards were relatively low. The results of this were, to say the least, hilarious. Unfortunately the full pilot is nowhere to be found, and the only insight we have is an article posted by UKResistance, and a forum post by the guy who ran this show. Damn, I could've really used a laugh.

http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2006/03/another-bunch-of-complete-morons-have.html

Gligar13Vids

Possibly one of the most successful trolls on YouTube, successful in that while people are wise to not feeding the trolls, their pride and love for their favorite franchises is enough to make for a big exception. Obviously he would never admit to it being a farce, but people still fell for it. Whatever you think of him, take what he says with a grain of salt.

Still occasionally posts, but is otherwise a relic of the older days of the internet.

GreatExpectations320

Guy seems to come and go. I was never able to find any of his reviews, either that or I was too lazy to try. I saw him around the time Hellsing920 died and he offered some words on his behalf. Seems he removed many of his videos and just moved on. At the time also hated trolls with a passion.

Hitting a lot of short stops here...

Jfreedan

He was a pretty infamous reviewer back then, infamous for his aversion to criticism, false flagging people who posts videos about him, and otherwise for his lack of talent. I know he flagged a video that caused another Asalieri associate, TOGProfessor, to jump to a new channel.

Hosts a few different channels, with his second one it seems he's not bothering with YouTube anymore. Also lifted a heavily contested video he did where he jogged in a ridiculous outfit from an archive on Silent Rob's Facebook group. It's not mine, it's not his, but it is historically significant.

KingMasterReview

More seasoned YouTubers will recognize him as the very first topic of BlackBusterCritic's Sonic Brain Fart series. What led to this? Oh not much, just pretending that Silver the Hedgehog was real and living with him. Compared to the other people Jamin went after, he was pretty basic by comparison, also possibly the same age as Silver.

Aubrey, for his first name, was a fan of Spax3, and to set the record straight Silver was just a takeaway from a game Aubrey hates. Aside from a reaction he made to Jamin, Aubrey managed to keep going for a while until he vanished for several years. I saw him make a new video and assumed that was it, but going back to it now, he has made a lot of new content.

He overcame that stutter he was known for, and seems to be in a good state of mind these days. He could easily say he wasn't any of the other people Jamin covered, just an idiotic teenager back then.

LiamRProductions

Must've pissed somebody off and fierce. All I got from this tidbit was that his voice was annoying, and that he allegedly ripped off a ScrewAttack video. A lot has changed since then, and he has become a contributor to Did You Know Gaming and Unseen64. Either he buried the lead on any juicier stuff, or British accents trigger someone's fight or flight.

MarioTehPlumber

Oh hey, another troll and relic of the old YouTube. Anything he did was to piss people off, and he has succeeded and then some. I actually got involved with John's circle and screwed around with people who took him seriously. Did I get anything out of it? Well I got a friend, John to follow me on Twitter for some time, it was one of the more rewarding trolling circles I was involved in.

Amakusa666

This is gonna be a grey area. This guy has absolutely no recorded YouTube presence available, it seems like he was better known through his forum presence. He is linked to the TurboGrafx-16 crowd, which is apparently filled to the brim with pretentious assholes.

We may figure out his placement here in a bit, chances are he either attacked forum moderators or just got into beef with someone else who included him on this thread for the hell of it. There was likely nothing on his YouTube to begin with.

MonkeyGameGuides

Once more we have a blatant internet troll. Interesting fact, his videos were the first to be covered in CuteFuzzyWeasel's Feeding the Trolls series. Basically one of those "Talk negatively about good games" types, but to me I consider him to be the funniest of the bunch. He had removed a bulk of his videos, but I was able to see most of them. One was an admittance of being a troll, two others were attempts at cooking shows, more surrealistic takes that are actually very funny, shame they're gone now.

He had an upload as recent as one year ago, and people are eager to see him again. Me too, he's funny.

Gaming in the Clinton Years

A collection of re-released clips from a public access series called Flights of Fantasy. His reviews were archived by the National Academy of Video Game Testers and Reviewers, or NAVGTR. Because of this, people classified the host, George Wood, under the name NAVGTR. This misunderstanding persisted for quite some time.

George is perhaps best known for being one hell of an unintentional troll, for how he plays and commentates on these games. He may have even been the first retro reviewer in this regard, but to be fair he played these when they were new.

Last anyone saw of him he gave his thoughts on Barack Obama. Who knows where he's at these days.

NC17 Productions

Yet another hate bandwagon, but he was either unable to cover his basis, attempted to parody but couldn't do it right, or was a troll engaging in a little social experiment? He was angry, but had no idea how to use it. I appreciate anyone showing how thin-skinned AVGN fans are though.

He had left long ago, though long after his heyday for these angry reviews. Otherwise he was hardly deterred by a bunch of children and mentally stunted adults who believed AVGN gave a shit about them.

NecroVMX

Another chill reviewer who did let's play style reviews, mostly of Game Boy Advance games. He still posts from time to time on YouTube, but has since become involved with indie game development, running Kisareth Studios. His inclusion either stems from him pissing off the wrong person (because that's not getting old at this point apparently), or some other reason.

Seems likable enough, and more adept at time management, hint hint.

Nintega

Okay, it seems like his inclusion, along with a previous one and later one, was owed to forum drama and him taking the piss out of two of his most frequent enemies. Dave Medina, the full name, was an annoying asshole who frequently got banned from forums relating to the TurboGrafx-16, as well as being a total creep who flagged down videos criticizing him. Multiple uploads of one of his videos surfaced, some of which contain quite the tale relating to him.

Images of him floated around, but they're now gone because of ED's previous takedowns and Photobucket shitting the bed. Apparently into drag.

The PissedOffVideoGamer

Aka that morbidly obese commentary bandwagon who bashed on the GameCube some time ago. A few years ago he resurfaced and did some commentaries on MarioTehPlumber and others, but it looks like he's gone again. Had a hell of a lot of other profiles too, I just never thought we'd see more of him for a while.

Only thing worse than his lone surviving review was a commentary done on it by FoxtrotDeltaLima497.

Riz Rave Reviews

He was an old contributor to That Guy With the Glasses. He was fired allegedly following a dispute between him and Spoony (yay Riz), and his videos are essentially lost media these days. The only thing remaining of his presence was an edited clip of one of his reviews. He allegedly used an existing Contra review as his own, but this info is now lost, even if it isn't valuable.

The Sega Kid

Alleged to be one of the earliest off-shoots of the angry reviewer craze. Apparently his reviews were so bad that nobody bothered to archive them. They know who he is, but don't want anything more than that to come out. People either mellowed or he buried the lead so well nobody bothered to look into it.

I'm still curious though, his reviews can't possibly be worse than, I dunno, Marlyonama's.

VIB113

To set the record straight, or to copy off the article, people refer to VIB as Sizzler07, but that was just someone who re-uploaded VIB's review. VIB is infamous for being a child, okay he also did negative reviews of Contra and Mortal Kombat's Genesis port (his head would explode when he plays the Game Boy port). He did a third review, but that's been lost.

I could leave it at that, but he actually returned to YouTube in 2012 and is still active... and now identifies as female, my bad. I believe he was involved in a troll circle I was involved in until it collapsed in on itself. I had thought VIB was driven off at that point, but his last upload was ten months ago.

Reason I did this was because it was amazing where many of these reviewers turned up.

TheSuperRobotSoujaOG

Another one of those reviewers that turned up in 2007. Apparently he was the victim of constant trolling, and he did not take it lying down. He has been through multiple accounts, and for a while I thought he was gone for good, not a trace of his old reviews remained (aside from an edited clip). But in some twist, he became associated with Spax3 (even after earlier days where he bashed Spax during the peak of his more infamous days, but that seems to have dissipated), and rebranded as Super Ace Gamer.

I saw his review of Shovel Knight, and it was pretty damn good, glad he's doing well for himself. Hell, for some reason the Wayback Machine is pretty generous, you can see his very first YouTube account before it got hacked and see what kind of videos he used to make.

Tatsujincorp

To wrap up the TurboGrafx-16 drama, here is the other opponent of Nintega. Seemingly just your run-off-the-mill douchebag, and it's unknown if he actually ever posted video game reviews, just some weird stuff. He is otherwise active on Facebook, and is an example of what James Rolfe should've done, and that was to retire and become a true father.

There's a greater story behind this, but I assume Nintega put this guy on the page to take the piss out of him, but he was so inoffensive that they had to cherrypick.

Undercoverfilmer00v

Essentially an anonymous reviewer who obscured his face for his reviews, otherwise known as David Roger Vega. He did gameplay videos for Goldeneye 007 and made reviews of Double Dragon 3 and Mickey Mousecapades. He also got into beef with AkewsticRockR, but I don't know which side to take. He put his account on lockdown at some point.

But that can't be enough. Apparently he was brought down for stalking a sportscaster, but since became active on Twitch, well last I saw of him anyways.

Conclusion

So, not as big of a bang to end it all, but fuck it. I hope you didn't expect much out of this, if this was my 200th journal special, well I don't really have any fans to disappoint. This has been in the back of my head for years, I wanted to go back to a persistent memory I had, was it worth it? Partly. It satisfied my curiosity, I guess, and I finally understood what led to them getting put on here in the first place, whether they caused drama, were big enough to be taken seriously, or just involved through pre-existing drama, and that not all of them are necessarily tied to game reviews.

It is interesting to go back to this collection of reviewers with new eyes, to see where they were back in the day, and how they have evolved over the years. Have you learned something from this? Probably not.

American Nightmares Review

 Had it not been for Ralph Sepe, I would've never heard of this movie. Let me explain, Ralph had done two videos relating to Scorch (PFG TV), a crappy talk show now contaminated by Ralph's fanbase. Anyway, I found Scorch's IMDb and discovered he had a bit role in this film. It was between doing a review of an old VH1 movie relating to the PMRC hearing, which I may cover if the next few weeks are forgiving enough, or biting the bullet and reviewing one of Stephen Colbert's cartoons, well save for Our Cartoon President which I covered ages ago. That's not definite.

But lo and behold, this movie is on YouTube, at least for now. You know the funny thing? This and The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson (the movie mind you) are both on YouTube in the form of illegal uploads, and haven't been touched by copyright. I guess the moral behind that is don't have your movies distributed by Quiver Distribution.

Background

This movie is an enigma. It has nothing much beyond an IMDb page. The film was helmed by two directors, Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott. Both had previously worked on films like Tales from the Hood, which I actually enjoyed. The sequels? Not so much.

It's fair to assume this was produced on a very low budget. The film was produced by Patriot Pictures, a low profile company specializing in low end genre films, and it was released by Moonstone Entertainment in 2018, with Quiver releasing it in 2021. Looking at the cast, this seems to be a who's who of washed up actors looking for any form of publicity. The film stars Danny Trejo, of Breaking Wind fame and Jay Mohr. Not ringing any bells? He stared in Action and appeared in an episode of Night Visions, and both of those are objectively good TV shows, don't get it twisted. Also this was one of the final roles of Clarence Williams III, who starred in Tales from the Hood.

The Film

Follow along here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztIvnUtMSg&t=4603s

This is a horror anthology film, featuring Danny Trejo hacking into the computers of some millennials to tell them some stories. I'm a sucker for horror anthologies, you never know what you'd get with them. I loved Terror Tract, Tales from the Hood, Creepshow 2, Campfire Tales, Tales from the Crypt, I also like most old religious thrillers, b-movies and Sonic games from Adventure to Unleashed, so take my musings with a grain of salt.

One thing I can immediately expect is a socio political slant. Cundieff is basically known for that already. The stories may be heavy handed, but at least I expect them to be. But hey, we got some neat star power, James Duvatl, Vivica At F-Zero-X, Noel G, wait who? Yeah, they think 1337 is the way to go.

The opening crawl is hammy at best. The anthologies I've mentioned before, even those beyond, establish a certain vibe or atmosphere. This just suggests they know what they're doing is low budget and destined to be on a rack at your local Dollar Tree. Hell even Tales from the Quadead Zone had a vibe, and even less of a budget. Last time I saw an intro this over-indulgent I watched New World Order, and that one was actually a good movie.

After the last shot shows people that really love Christianity, we get the age all classic cliche of making computer hacking look more exciting than it actually is. Naturally they scour for porn. I could rage about women's rights, or I could just consider this to be a constant cliche. Said cliche is mercifully ended, as Danny Trejo hacks their computer, succumbing to his inner feminist, and seeking to cover potential harassment claims coming his way.

I may be half right on half of what I said. I'd question if hacking is similar to TV interference, but I don't want to know.

Anyway, without any delay, we have our first story, and an issue I wanna bring up. There's a lack of a flow between the segments and the framework. In other films like Tales from the Hood, Crypt, Quadead Zone, Campfire Tales, and Terror Tract, the story is brought up after something related to it is before. We have an idea we'd learn more about something in the form of the story. If this isn't setup for a twist...

Mates

Unfortunately due to a lack of detailed plot information, I'd have to guess most of these stories as I go along.

So this one starts of with a woman and her deadbeat boyfriend. We get some serious whiplash at the start, cutting between the woman at a bar and her talking with her friend somewhere else. I have no idea what this is building up to, all I wanna do is tell her that being single won't be the end of the world. You really wanna be tied down in a relationship that probably won't last? Think about it.

The main woman, Shanika? Runs the risk of getting driven off of Twitter for her love of straight relationships, and gets a package, not one attached to a man but a box, not attached to a woman but, wait it's an envelope, which isn't a euphemism.

It looks like this story is gonna go into the evils of internet dating, or she would set up her own demise with the creation of an ideal man. If it were up to me, I'd say the twist is her definition of a perfect man is the asshole who got this started in the first place.

So far the quality of this... is at 240p, so I can't complain about the quality, and I had a good joke comparing this to something by Charles Band. Check out Kill Joy and you'll see what I mean, and for a great movie recommendation.

And soon, Shanika meets long, tan and unsure of who he's looking for. Credit where it's due, this dating scene doesn't seem too forced. I mean you gotta force yourself in these situations so it's always gonna seem forced. I mean it's less forced than the sex scene. I'm just saying, if you make The Room's sex scene and a makeout scene featuring a young Rob McElhenney look more natural, then this is unnatural. I blew it.

At this point I'm still speculating. Is her date like a vampire, who sucks out souls and energy from women through sex? Actually no, I spoke too soon. He is a robot, and the dating site she found sent him as part of a free trial. I mean I guess that makes sense, how else can the perfect date be crafted? I honestly didn't know what to expect. And that includes how her deadbeat old boyfriend was in on it, to teach her a lesson relating to perfection.

I assume he's gonna die soon. He is more hammy than a comedic actor trying to play an abusive father. Yes, that was a Tales from the Hood reference. For however shitty he is, I admire his patience, he allows Shanika to dig through her purse to find a credit card so she can activate the robot again and let him get killed. You don't find patient individuals that often anymore.

Oh wait he was getting the robot, apparently he's as patient as he is strong to lift human AI, also can't believe how hilarious he is. So yeah, he tries to strangle her, the robot saves her and that's essentially the end. He could lift him but he can't so much as punch him in the face. But wait, he shoots him, and the bullet... hits the shooter in the chest? Death by convenience, go figure.

Though I understand the broader implications of having AI in our lives, something you can control can make life easier. Marriage is always a gamble.

Anyway, back to the hackers, almost abruptly, maybe Danny's just shooting the shit with those willing to listen to him? Our next tale, point blank, deals with judiciary concerns. If this is a story about Brett Kavanaugh I'm gonna be pissed.

The Prosecutor

Oh gee, white judges cracking down on black defendants, how is this gonna go down? This was years before June the fifteenth at least.

So, is the crook innocent? Is the prosecutor who's running for governor racist? Did he kill the people the crook is accused of killing? Is this gonna be where I find Scorch?

I'm probably more concerned this is gonna be a rehash of a story from Tales from the Hood. Just because you directed both movies doesn't mean you should copy them. Turns out he didn't, the real killer was found, and I guess the prosecutor, Mooreland? He doesn't want to change the verdict. So he's gonna die, this is clearly a message about our corrupt legal system, and showing me how inconsistent the movie is with its accents.

Apparently this segment is big on family. Either this is a metaphor or setting up the end twist, or maybe Mooreland is a huge Fast and the Furious fan.

With the crook escaping from prison and a sudden power outage, I feel like poetic justice is about to happen. After a scene of the crook reading the bible and praying to God, I mean before, he breaks into the house and shoots at Mooreland. Is this a nightmare? A stab at religious hypocrisy? Did he actually kill his family? Did Mooreland have a hand in killing the crook's family?

I'm not in suspense, or interested, I'm not even 30 minutes into the film. So it cuts back to the crook in the cell. Was this a revenge fantasy? Was this actually why he was on death row? Did he use telepathic means to conduct the murders? No, poetic justice. The crook kills Mooreland's family, and he is framed for it. Okay, how? Was there a deleted scene where he consults with Scorch to have his soul exit the body and hunt Mooreland down?

If this is a stab at politics, it's sorta like using Soul Calibur to vent out your frustrations with your community college professor.

Okay so the crook was executed beforehand. It was ghosts, and bad sequencing to try and establish a twist, also he gets executed.

There's justice, then there's justice not well executed. I mean to be fair, at least they didn't make him a Klansman or give him a name that's a composite of numerous white supremacists.

I'm against injustice, but damn, drama makes it less palatable.

What's next? Wait, a confederate flag? No statements on that.

White Flight

A white family moves out of a neighborhood with black residents, they suffer in the end. My hang-up with these is predictability. If people didn't like Karen, chances are we'd deal with a badly written take on a legitimate issue. If no African American neighbors are giving you trouble, your animosity stems from racism alone. I mean that could be the direction they take, but they'd tell it in a way that ruins the prospect.

We see a man walk up to a house. This man apparently has telepathy, because he could knock on a door even though he's nowhere near it before jump cutting to the front of it. We meet our dead meat Thomas, and oh, that's where the obnoxious attitude went from Mooreland to. Look, I get you want to display how bad racism is, but there are better ways to do it. A racist white depiction is like a minstrel show, we already have stereotypes.

Oh and he's a racist cop too. I feel like Jordan Peele rose above because his movies weren't as lacking in subtlety, and maybe Get Out was actually really good.

Strommy McWallaceByrdMetzgerWaters gets a package, and it's a means of sending them to an all white area, a dimensional transporter. Robot AI and ghosts more plausible, frankly.

Side note, this segment might've featured Duane Whitaker, who appeared in Tales from the Hood.

This is looking to be cartoonishly cringey, they even have an over the top sign to that effect. So, does this mean the transport turned them black in the eyes of the residents of this new town? I'm a quarter right, it's his family that's seen as blacks. After an alarm is sounded, a police car door is slowly opened and a man is seen drinking in a diner. These are apparently important enough to show, but wait, they are, the sequencing is just total ass.

Okay quick delaying the inevitable, we know they're gonna get hassled.

But there's a twist, there is a twist, you ready for it? The people in this town aren't racist, they just didn't want people with black hair. It's stupid, but you know what? I'll take it. I didn't see it coming, and it kinda fits with the discussion on racism, and there is a lynching... a baby lynching, and he gets arrested. This is sorta like the end of the first segment in The Twilight Zone movie, but at least the actor in this got to live to see another day.

So, they set this up like a very basic racism revenge plot, but threw in a twist, no matter how stupid it was, which still fits the allegory they were going for. This has the most palatable twist I've seen in the movie just far, and I still have a ways to go.

After that, we get insight that the millenials spammed nudes of a girl who owed one of them money on social media, and I assume they're either gonna pay for it, or this is gonna serve as the basis for the next story. And she offed herself by the way, that may come into play.

So I did a little looking around, and I either have only four or five stories to go.

The Samaritan

I noticed a theme around clowns for the first few seconds, let's see where this goes.

After close to a minute of establishing shots, a man and a woman hold up a sick man for... ransom? Rent payment? Is he a hitman? Does he work for tips? This next scene has him offered to dress like a clown. I'm lost, I'll be right back.

So apparently the woman with the money collector is a prostitute with a pimp, and dressing as a clown is a sexual favor, where the payer is actually a murderer.

After finding her pimp asleep with his eyes open, she attempts to escape. I'll give it this, I like the mannerisms of the psycho in this. Could make for a b-grade Joker if anything. Somehow, upon giving a ghost her crucifix, both girls kill the clown. There was no socio political slant, though his actor once played John Wilkes Booth in The Ridiculous 6.

Okay, seven minutes to the hour mark, no use quitting now.

Hate Radio

Believe it or not, it's not what you think. It's not about racism, it's about everything. Alec Baldwin's possible twin, or Hugh Bluff, is our lead in this. Hugh Bluff? Why not Hugh Jastle? It's every right wing stereotype stuffed into one. This would've been a perfect time to have Scorch do his best Alex Jones impression.

It's an AM radio show, meaning this movie would be right down Cinema Snob's alley.

Okay, maybe with the over the top nature presented here they're not going after moderates. I can understand there are plenty of dickbags out there that function like this, but the issue here is a lack of a balance. We're equal, not one above another. Otherwise we're gonna see a white Martin Luther King Jr. one of these days, you want that on your conscious? A continuous debate that would inspire more hatred than anyone's comfortable with?

Look, I don't agree with anything he's saying. If you want to see a good story with a hateful radio show host, check out the Tales from the Darkside episode Devil's Advocate, or the Night Visions episode Dead Air.

He gets a call from New Mexico, and rather than voice his grievances with Woodrow Wilson, well you can guess.

Best case they're going for a show don't tell approach, or maybe it is tell because they just keep stretching this out. Again, I don't agree with a word coming out of this guy's mouth, or the callers for that matter, but it did do one thing for me, it made me appreciate commercial breaks.

Things are straightforward then... Make America Great Again.... okay, just a statement, not gonna complain about that, just them including an image of Donald Trump for good measure. So basically the writers think people are idiots who need literal reminders over things that have been engrained in our conscious a thousand times over?

I can't quit now, chances are people would lump me with either side if I do at this point. I have a hard enough time escaping politics already.

Hey guys, he's a Republican, he's bad. We assume you don't know that because we have no respect for your intelligence. Take our side you dummies, otherwise you're as bad as this potato sack we keep parading around.

The deal with this is that this man is turned into a woman, also evil portrait.

It worked better in Tales from the Hood with a racist man inhabiting a plantation and him getting attacked by living voodoo dolls, he deserved what came to him.

He turns into the woman and out of awareness for how bad the effect would look, covers any parts that would need to be seen to properly display the change. Also bad wig. This movie has a fascination with dragging scenes out, at least right here. It seems most of the budget was put toward that fake penis that fell out.

Though it may be racist to do so, I'd have to question Cundieff and Scott on their closeted sexist beliefs. They gave Hugh giant breasts, with clear clevage. Hell I'd even go as far as to consider this a touch transphobic. You really want these men to discuss issues women and transsexuals face every day, when they use a transition as a punishment? They don't decide your gender identity, you do.

What would happen if I said that to either two?

If I say I'm glad it's over, it's because this dragged on for so long I got the sum of it well before it ended. I was able to pick up everything in that overlong tirade at the start, so I have an idea how this ends. She claims that women deserve to be killed by serial killers, or something similar, and the same thing happens to her. And I guess the killer is one of the callers from before, somehow I was able to piece that together, I'm smarter than this movie gives me credit for it seems. Take a wild guess what happens.

So what's the moral of this story? Just transition to a female actor if you're gonna make a TG look half-assed. Also don't leave discussions on sexism in the hands of someone who thinks lowly of their audience's intelligence.

The Healer

Is this gonna be about religion? Evangelics? Faith healers. I'm just gonna let this play until something interesting happens.

So the plot of this is that a faith healer uses fake holy water for his miracles, and he is a fraud. It's obvious, and making me hanker for Moses Gunn in that episode of Tales from the Crypt. At this point I'm surprised they have an African American as a villain, I mean to be fair the first segment did. I'm forgetting already.

Clarence Williams III comes out of nowhere and knocks out the pastor, who's name is Bishop Love. Apparently Fazion doesn't talk much about his conniving brother. Anyhow, this is about the kidnapper's daughter dying, owed to the faith she put in Bishop's false faith.

Also the kidnapper knows voodoo now, plaguing Bishop with imperfections fraudulently dealt with.

Okay, think we have one more, right after the wraparound. Things go all occult real fast. I consider Jesus to be my lord and savior, but at the same time I'm so desensitized to basic horror this just doesn't phase me.

Thy Will Be Done

...if it ever starts. They linger on the summoning scene. Wait, is this the final segment? No, that would've been a neat little twist.

I assume this story is about pregnancy or something related? She gets kidnapped out of nowhere, and this turns out to be... a pro-abortion tale I'm sure, so I'm gonna go look for spoilers. She claims the baby isn't a good thing, and the ending is what you'd expect, so fuck it, I'm done.

Final Thoughts

This is one of the most condescending movies I have ever sat through. It wears its views on its sleeve and does nothing with them. All this does is validate the worst possible stereotypes right wingers thrown at the other side, all in a crappy d-movie package. I'd respect this more if it handled its topics with the proper care and didn't reduce them to the most useless degrees.

Rusty Cundieff has never been able to land much of a break since Tales from the Hood, and this is an example of why, along with Tales from the Hood 2 and 3 if you wanna go that far. I could've been doing homework, yet I watched this movie. This wasn't worth it at all.

LTA: The Unknown Legacy of MoBrosStudios/Retrospective

 It's interesting to think that 2013 will one day be but a decade ago. Things that were new to us, will hold as much nostalgic value as more conventional mediums. It got me thinking about the YouTubers I used to follow, in 2013/2014... and how a stark majority of them turned to shit. Angry Video Game Nerd? On the borderline. Nostalgia Critic? Need I say more? Sonic93? Stopped watching her before she came out with those videos. Bobsheaux? Is someone ever gonna question the ethics behind charging money for most reviews? Taco Man? More of the same, but his humor is somehow more cringeworthy than Oney's.

There was one exception to the rule and one I actually anticipated more above the other. The first YouTube Poop I saw... was some CatDog poop I saw by accident when I assumed you could find full episodes on YouTube. The second... was also something fairly random. Even before them I remember stumbling across some old Simpsons YouTube Poop. But it was the third, by MoBrosStudios.

What stood out to me the most about MoBros, aside from my first exposure to high end editing in YouTube Poops, is that he had an established personality. While most Poopers tend to let their work speak for itself, at least earlier on, I had a good sense of who MoBros was. Other poopers had also tried this, like NPCarlson and Trudermark, who wanted to express his personality toward some adolescents.

Have his poops stood the test of time? No shit they did. While AwfulFawful/Scat Rat had overshadowed MoBros, he stood out for a different reason, plots. He had crafted his own narratives for his poops, produced his own animation (or edited it well enough to make it look that way), and Skellington's Revenge is an example of how well he does it.

He has talent, but how well has he affected the public conscious?

Drawback

I maintain MoBros is talented, but there are some issues that can go beyond his YouTube Poops. Though one thing for that, I imagine he borrowed a lot of points from Stuart K. Riley's own listicle, he just framed it differently to avoid more detailed comparisons.

Things to look out for are the same examples used when dissuading poopers from using their own voice; I mean then again it's so uncommon and that's the most notable example. There're also points like dissuading usage of Spadinner/dinner spaghetti, but one thing I gotta give MoBros credit for is that he used a better term for it, but wait didn't Stuart use that term at one point before?

Also feel like Stuart made a better point on using long titles than MoBros, and also, both made the argument that too much unedited footage was the worst offense. Also don't use Windows Movie Maker's rainbow effect, both made that clear.

I won't call him a plagiarist, but it's obvious where his inspiration lies.

Also, a quick opinion on his Creepypasta readings, looking back on them, others did it better. Something about Mutahar and Yuri's level of not giving a damn better suits how expendable many of these pastas are. The worst thing you can do with Creepypasta readings is be relatively serious about it, it's a bad reflection of your character. Good pastas of the past either aged poorly or people read between the lines.

Selling Out

Some may recognize MoBros for his Anim8ball series. Can you guess what it entails? I've noticed a little trend with many content creators. At one point, they relegate themselves to doing reviews almost all of the time. Just Stop did this, and I feel he's becoming as corporate as he implies Santa Inc to be. I Hate Everything is all about movies these days, just don't expect insight on new movies, just the same tired examples over and over again.

This became at least 80% of MoBros' brand, with the other being any time he puts toward YouTube Poops. I'm not saying he sold out as bad as the other two, but it's something to keep in mind for later on.

MoBros is perhaps best known for making three reviews related to SpongeBob SquarePants. Three... particularly scathing reviews. Now yes, he did address these and apologize for them, but I'm not gonna hound him over something in the past as if it occurred in the present, otherwise I'd be DaftPina. I want to make it clear I'm going into his legacy.

MoBros didn't necessarily like the newer seasons of SpongeBob, well new for the time. Back then, I actually shared the sentiment. Something about them struck a nerve with me, and part of what got me into MoBros. in the first place was a sense of validation that I wasn't the only one who hated the episodes. 

I question if he was the first, but MoBros' videos certainly helped make cartoon reviews more popular, if not eschewing a new wave of it, and therein lies the problem. With popularity comes influence, and just to make this clear, MoBros employed the angry reviewer schtick, one of the more contagious personalities. 

Why were there so many Angry Video Game Nerd wannabes? I mean he was getting pretty popular at that point, but there it is, popularity. The format is so general yet so specific, people sought to mimick what they saw in order to get some equal cred. Hell, Irate Gamer became an early YouTube partner until people whined enough to get that revoked.

Nostalgia Critic was also popular enough, and we still haven't healed much from his heyday, with so many no name reviewers following his framework near verbatim. But between Bobsheaux and Irate Gamer, the latter does not have a Patreon account, nor does he shill for Express VPN, come to think of it in spite of getting some stuff wrong he got further than the Angry Video Game Nerd in many games he played. Even if he used Game Genie I at least know IG actually played the games, and the AVGN had used Game Genie too.

I'm starting to think the AVGN always sucked.

Where was I? Oh yeah, third generation influence. One of the more infamous points of influence for MoBros was TheMysteriousMrEnter. It's been a while since I brought him up, well on this site, to account for when I used a clip from one of his videos to compare to another reviewer, but for the sake of backing my points, I gotta bring him up.

The similarities between Enter's old SpongeBob videos and MoBros' SpongeBob videos tend to be undeniable. It wasn't uncommon for feelings against the episodes to be genuine, whether it was built on agitation for content deemed passable, or overselling for comedy or to build on how it made others successful.

Anyone who's serious about content creation tends to follow trends that would get them attention in the quickest way. No shit. Take that, apply it toward something that you're either passionate about or is easy to make content around and you got yourself a basis for your soon to be vilified channel.

Enter's old content wasn't very good, that's undeniable, though his initial batch of critics were far more insufferable, just get a load of the quackpot that wrote his ED article (and ducks are a part of his brand, that's why I used such a crappy derogatory term). But my point is that MoBros certainly had a profound impact on Enter's earlier reviews, along with Nostalgia Critic.

MoBros had actually done callouts on writers in his videos, well brief mentions anyhow, like with Aaron Springer. Does that excuse anything? Not particularly, but this establishes the influence. If anything, for what Enter did, either he tried to add to what made MoBros famous, or just did it because anger was in at the time, people just overanalyzed because they wanted to establish justification for bandwagoning.

At the end of the day, it's down to influence. If what I said can be considered true, MoBros essentially doomed a reviewer to ridicule through influence. No other reviewer quite hit as hard as him before Enter, so it checks out. It doesn't help that time after, MoBros cited Enter as an example of what not to do with reviewing, ignoring any potential irony.

Final Thoughts

So, am I gonna bring someone down because they indirectly ruined someone else? I essentially just did. But the point is, while MoBros cannot be attributed to popularizing the animation community, he indirectly inspired the worst of it. I bring it up because I feel he hasn't properly addressed it, just apologizing for his own old content.

No one, no matter how big and respected, should be above criticism, and I feel that MoBros has much to answer for. It's not so much for what happened now, but what may occur somewhere down the road.

Top 5 Shows I Hate

 Yes, I have done a list compiling the worst shows there, but that's it, shows that already ranked very lowly when it came to reviews so they can technically be considered the worst. This time around, as the title clearly suggests, I want to talk about shows that struck a nerve with me personally. It may not apply to all of you, but hey, if we all abide to the same standards we'd all be making movie reviews on YouTube.

Just one quick rule, I will not feature shows that are meant to appeal to very young audiences. The only shows that'll cut it are those that can be enjoyed by old and young audiences alike. There would've only been one show featured had the rule not been incorporated, and that's some obscure bible cartoon that's the way it was because it was trying so hard to appeal to young viewers. It's so devoid of anything more I can't even do a review of it. Just know it's like a proto-Cocomelon.

Also they have to be full shows, shorts won't cut it even if they have a few parts to it. Single seasons may also apply if they're egregious enough.

With that said, let's get on with the list.

#5: MP4ORCE: Beyond Real

Once again here to remind you the worst cartoon ever exists, well, worst professional cartoon of some degree. Okay saying this is the worst cartoon ever is a stretch. As of yet, only three people covered this, myself included, and the other only briefly when discussing a different show.

What makes this show particularly detestable, is that the crux of it was used for a vanity project which happened to comprise of a revival of Reboot. Let's be real, nobody knew this show existed, so if it didn't land the first time, it wouldn't land the second, and points are docked if you try to ride off of a show people liked to begin with.

Though I never watched the original Reboot, just the fact that even this offends me shows just how vile it all is. I won't stop bringing it up every now and again until more people talk about it. But just know there is nothing to like about this show. I went into great detail on two separate occasions.

#4: Ed, Edd n' Eddy (season 5)

Now don't get me wrong, I love Ed, Edd n' Eddy, and I appreciate how fans of it are willing to call a spade when they see it, but this particular season really got under my skin. I can forgive some of the worser examples of the show's faults in earlier seasons because honestly that's what help built its charm, but I feel like the issues got more apparent by this point.

It just didn't feel the same, Kankers were far more obnoxious, Edd became borderline unlikeable, Ed has arguably lost whatever braincells he had left, Sarah and Jimmy are apparently allowed to go to high school and both are arguably the worst characters, well one above another. Since this is the only full season they go to school, it can be considered its own thing for the sake of this list.

A lot of the show's worst episodes came out at this point, from particularly bad to some of the worst. That one time Danny Antonucci gave someone else the opportunity to direct, we got the show's worst episode, bar none.

The season finale was also undone by a surprise other episode, but at least the movie helped fix things, even if the hat mystery won't ever die.

This made it on the list because it actually nearly made me hate the show. I managed to get out of that thankfully.

#3: Camp Lazlo

It was between this and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, two shows that were the earliest programs I recalled hating. Camp Lazlo won out, obviously, because you could see the number above. As someone who really liked Rocko's Modern Life, this was a big step down for the show's creator Joe Murray. The man operates backwards, as we went for a show that popularized adult innuendos in kids shows, to a show that was probably held down by executive demands, make this just like SpongeBob so we can get that crowd to watch our network.

If you recall my review of the worst Oh Yeah! Cartoons shorts, you'd see I referred to a character as being Lazloian. If you can't tell this is the show that originated it for me. Lazlo is optomistic and naive, to an insufferable degree, but I feel like there is an air of self-awareness he exhibits. This may seem insignificant, but hear me out. If someone is genuinely naive, they can't pick up on what they're doing wrong, with their good intentions being the drive. I feel like Lazlo fell into these pitfalls so many times I can't help but wonder if these are all intentional.

Why am I focusing on this so much? Well excuse me for focusing on the main character and one we should root for. If the main character sucks, then that accounts for the show as well, there's no payoff to this either. Why experience it when you know you're in for a dour journey?

#2: As Told by Ginger (season 3)

Let's be real, there's more to the show than it's art style. While Ed, Edd n' Eddy can be seen beyond its faults, As Told by Ginger is full of problems, even from the start. Either it was wasted potential or the fact that Dodie exists, and other stuff that's actually objectively bad.

I feel like things came to a head with the third season. Let's be real, Butterflies are Free should've been where things ended. Things got a little more infamous as many of the show's worst episodes are present in this season, and by the time they got to high school, things are different enough that I can call it a different show. Maybe if things did go on longer we could get some resolve to these changes.

If they were brave enough, Darren's ego would lead to his downfall and... insert plot of a Degrassi episode where Rick shoots Drake, only this time he shoots Dodie, or the other Ms. Zorski, or the vice principal, at least two of them are expendable, and not particularly likable.

This is one of the few cases where I welcome the other episodes being moved to Nicktoons to finish out their run, because if I saw these as a kid, I'd probably think nothing of it at first until I see them again as an adult and get agitated. What makes this season particularly egregious is that, let's face it, high school sucked, and marks a point in your life where you want to do stuff but they turn out to be insignificant in the long run. Is being the star quarterback or attractive meaningful if you wind up becoming a used car salesman or convicted for molesting your next door neighbor? It happens.

I give it points for being brutally honest, but either they fall into common trappings or they ramp up the negatives to the point it becomes insufferable to watch. Check out Old School Lane's list of the worst As Told by Ginger episodes, a majority of the episodes that made it on happen to have made the list, I'm pissed Stuff'll Kill Ya didn't make it, but at least people are in agreement the other Ms. Zorski is cancer wrapped in a wheat tortilla.

She and Ginger didn't have the best introduction, but it wasn't enough to justify her often vitriolic attitude. What was it? Is she jealous that her sister was preferred by Ginger (because I'd believe it, if you want to treat people like shit, that's how you'll be seen)? Is it because of racism (imagine if they actually explored black on white racism, people will go crazy)? I wish it was the latter because that's the only way I can see justification for apathy after someone literally got out of surgery. I'm serious, it was as bad as I recalled in the episode.

No matter how insignificant, a character can ruin a show for anybody, and she just built upon how uncomfortable the season was. And it showed just how weak Ginger either has become or been, why else is she still friends with Dodie? And yes, Courtney was treated horribly in this, and she was the most well developed character in the entire series.

All this season did was reaffirm just how fundamentally flawed As Told by Ginger truly was.

#1: Zoey 101

Even before the allegations against Dan Schneider came out, I was never a big fan of his shows. I don't know if it was intuition, but it's amazing what came out. I liked Josh and he suffered a lot of the time, he turned out to be a hell of a lot better than Drake, who's facing allegations himself. I didn't like iCarly mostly because of Sam, and it turns out she suffered the worst behind the scenes. Victorious... well I hated the characters I was supposed to, so it has that in its favor.

Zoey 101 particularly got under my skin. Jamie Lynn Spears has a particularly punchable face, and is certainly not up to par with her sister, who would've been seen as a joke, but now we understand the root of her turmoil, and I'm glad she managed to break from her conservatorship. She also approved some pretty smart lyrics.

But this is a case where I wound up hating everyone on the show. Everyone has a particular air of annoyance, and it felt like they were doing the right thing to feel better about their own selves. Half the time I rooted for Logan. Why did they feed him toilet water? Why did Victoria Justice throw his burger and nibble his ear? Why is Quinn potentially one of Schneiders most prominent victims which makes me reluctant to criticize her? Why is the black character one of two I like? Oh well because he's actually funny and kinda likeable. Well Chase is okay too most of the time. Blonde hair guy... James? Mitchell? Maybe it's guilt by association, he could do with better friends than Zoey and... Mithcelle? I only know Victoria Justice by name, maybe it goes to show how insignificant her character is in the longrun.

The only thing Jamie Lynn Spears is known for is getting knocked up, which plays back into the Schneider business and starring in a crappy Britney Spears biopic, along with any failed attempts at making a name for herself. One time, an MTV cartoon called Good Vibes featured a character with the same surname as Spears, she was a pregnant teenager. A one time character was a hell of a lot more likable than the actual Jamie Lynn Spears.

Can you help me better understand Zoey 101? Because I don't want to ever go back to it.