I'm amazed I didn't get a lot of hate for my review of Troq. But then again no one knows who I am, so they'd probably hate me if they knew me.
How Soon is Forever is among the angsty future crop of action-filled episodes. I'd like to think Back to the Future II pioneered this in terms of dystopian futures, but that's mainly because it will be forever tainted by people who use it for a number of unfunny political jokes.
"Ackshully, the future I'm referring to is just a warped 1985." If Robert Zemeckis had an impact on how people perceive Donald Trump now, it'd just make me hate Back to the Future II even more. From there, an idea was laid, and it struck a chord with the writers on Teen Titans and other action-oriented cartoons from the era.
Once you notice the pattern there's nowhere to go but down. One random character gets thrown forward in time, everything turns to shit due to the acts of a villain and apparently the other heroes' will lied mostly with the sent, everyone's miserable, the villain is beat and everyone's sent back with some skepticism for the future. Plus a title that may very well come from an old 80s song.
If Same as it Never Was doesn't make you immediately of Talking Heads, you're probably some angsty teenage girl stuck in the year 2007. For the record I'm alluding to that episode of the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon and recall seeing an anime style intro tribute to it.
Maybe I just hate the concept, maybe I'm banking on a show I can't stop talking about, but to make this clear, I used to love this show as a kid, but when you leave it and come back to it, you notice things you never have before, but whether it's nothing more than subjective is down to your point of view.
Just wanted to say that so you won't see me as a blind hater but a former fan.
The Episode
Before I get into this, I'd just like to say that I'm going by my memory on this as a personal test to see if anyone actually reads my reviews. You'd tell me anything I might've missed or misinterpreted. Okay, here we go.
It's funny to think that every episode I covered of Teen Titans along with a certain villain all happened to involve Starfire. I guess if I had to pick my worst character from the show, it'd be Starfire for a lack of proper evolution. I bring this up because, yes, she is the one who's sent into the future.
The titans fight a time-related villain who I can't be bothered to remember the name of. It's not about the name of the villain, but what he does, and he's a time-related villain who's... full of wasted potential. In my mind, as he's a time-related villain, he could potentially go back or forward years to sabotage the Titans. On back, potentially keep them from getting together, potentially kill them, or go forward to find what would be their ultimate demise and make it happen in the present.
In this episode he just wants to steal an artifact, but then again he could've done the above if he got it, for the benefit of the doubt. I find it silly to make so many one to two-time villains, then again people probably don't want to see the same villain over and over again.
In trying to capture the time guy, Starfire is warped to the future and... it's dark and miserable right out of the gate. There is potential to getting Starfire out of the picture. What if she wasn't incorporated into the titans? What if she became corrupted in the future and as she tries to reunite with her team who rejects her, learns the harsh reality that she caused an unbreakable atrocity?
Maybe I'm considering a mix between this and that one where Starfire has a number of weird mutations.
Perhaps an arc on that where Starfire slowly mutates into an actual monster, breaks mentally when people make fun of her and... yeah become a villain for a bit. Perhaps have that and Beast Boy still mutated from that episode with Adonis albeit permanently and merging his mind with his forever changed body, Cyborg fighting back more robotic aspects and gaining new parts until only his mind is intact in a full robotic husk, Raven succumbing to her demon side but keeping her mind intact and Robin becoming Night Wing and boom, we could potentially have an interesting season detailing their future. Maybe this could've been season 6?
But on this, I think the biggest issue with the episode is how the characters' fates are portrayed, namely, they're all alive in some capacity. Yeah, one thing people seem to forget is that the characters in it rarely, if ever, actually died. Terra could've broken that stigma had she not been revived at the end (and for the record while everyone had said everything they could about Things Change, it may be a review in the making)
You may be thinking that death was too extreme for Cartoon Network at the time. Well, referring back to TMNT 2K3's take on the dark future tale... they implied Casey Jones died. A show produced by a company infamous for covering up death were willing to provide a dark implication, scratch that, an implication and Hon getting killed in combat.
But on 4Kids for the most part they covered more gratuitous deaths and abided to stricter broadcast standards, worst case taking it too far, which was the way as far back as the 90s during the Saban era of Dragon Ball Z. You can't just show someone getting shot point blank in the head and get away with it. And blah blah blah there was more to their edits I don't give a fuck, Funimation's a worse company by far.
My point is, if a company infamous for its approach to death can do as much as an implication and a direct kill, and that's just going by the one episode, and this can't give us that luxury, it just drives home the point that Teen Titans wasn't as dark as everyone made it out to be.
Firstly is a fake-out. Upon getting to the abandoned Titans Tower, she finds what I assume to be the maggot-ridden corpse of Cyborg. Perhaps he was killed in action and left to rot, but no... he arrives in disrepair and tells us what we could've pieced together had we absorbed the episode more.
I stated this in my Troq review but it bears repeating here. Teen Titans is well against the concept of show don't tell. Given how people view this show, with the implication they consider it the beacon of quality kids' writing, this has to be held to that standard. It's easy to tell someone what's happening in the world, it's more complex to just have us learn it as we go along, it helps us to immerse ourselves in the world shown before us.
I can respect Avatar for getting this down, sure there're flaws I find hard to ignore, but the more I think about it, that was far more complex than a teenaged Zack Snyder fantasy.
So the titans have gone their own separate ways, to be expected, one at a time, Beast Boy is now part of the circus, and fat, and bald. How many years have passed again?
Raven is apparently no longer of sound mind. Now look, I know she's the daughter of Trigon, which means she was born into evil, but had gone on through the side of good. Apparently she no longer has a stable grasp on her powers, I forget. I'm mixed at best on this, I imagine the separation would drive her to full corruption and she could be this episode's villain.
There's a reason I'm harping on the villain aspect so much in these reviews, because believe it or not, betrayal (good to evil) is one of my least favorite aspects when it comes to action shows. It was a key reason why I hate Archie Sonic. This falls into the action cliche ebb and typically has the worst execution. It's used to provide an artificial sense of drama when the writers have zero faith in their ability to do something with a limited property.
Mystery Incorporated, enough said.
I will give the episode credit, it was cool that they incorporated Nightwing into the episode, going by the fact Dick Grayson would take on this moniker as an adult in the Batman comics. I won't discuss a missed opportunity to feature Terry McGuinness in the episode in a surprise crossover because Batman Beyond was over by then, and Static Shock already did this.
It's a low blow, but I'm grateful Static never met the Teen Titans.
Soon enough, Star has to confront the time-lord by herself to at least return to the past and prevent this god awful future from being in the cards, actually that's partly a lie. In another big cliche, we have characters who're unwilling to fight, then when the moment's convenient, they rally together as if what they said was a load of bull-cock.
My biggest hangup with action shows is them falling into various cliches, which ironically show a lack of sophistication and complex writing that people somehow see in these. If you can find a meaning in an edgy animated sitcom, you've basically ascended beyond surface level action schlock.
So like always they win at the end and the time douche is rendered a wee baby, before she returns to the present.
Star discusses her experience with a tone that suggests this is what their futures would be like. So what was the point of fighting it if this future can't be altered? It's basically saying no matter what direction you take in life you'll always be fucked. Any sense of realization they can still be heroes feels hollow at worst, and that's where my memory of the episode ends.
Final Thoughts
I think I have a greater issue with dark future episodes in general. It's a bit like Uwe Boll's Sanctimony, where it draws parallels to American Psycho, but has enough differences to be its own thing.
Obviously Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' take is the best of the two, but that's because it has no limits. Otherwise, both fall into the same action cliches, but I feel Teen Titans falls into a much worse web, a kiddied web if you will. Obviously I take offense to that because I also hate Danny Phantom, which was basically the same atmosphere wise, even having a shit finale too.
I can look back at an old dumb comedy and find a lot of jokes that flew over my head, even discover some unintended complexity. When it comes to action shows (and for the record I'm referring to stuff in the vein of Teen Titans and Danny Phantom.) they make nearly everything they discuss obvious, plus the action is bog standard.
This means, even the likes of CatDog have more complexity than Teen Titans.
But this isn't the end of my inane ramblings on some kids cartoon, which has a bigger audience of adults nowadays so what was the issue anyhow? The title above should give you an idea on that.
This is just the beginning.
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