ReAnimated review

The biggest problem with CN Real was a lack of foresight... okay and the shows sucked too, as someone who hates going with the majority a lot of the time, I will never defend CN Real. A bulk of the programs they showed were either forgettable or destined to become cringe when you revisit them as an adult. Even Nickcoms had more soul than these shows, even if Dan Schneider embodied them all (what am I saying? I hate all of them)

There's a big reason I'm bringing up CN Real. It was a can of worms that landed on CN's desk some time after the release of one certain TV movie. Plus, it turns out that one of CN Real's shows happened to be a television adaptation of this movie.

Background

You probably figured out what I was gonna say before I said it, but for the sake of context, er, bite your lips.

ReAnimated is a live-action/animated hybrid movie that came out on Cartoon Network in 2006. It was around this time Cartoon Network was starting to scramble when it came to their shows. While they kept up with new entries and still-running old shows, well, who in their right mind still likes Camp Lazlo? 

Cartoon Network wanted to keep things interesting, so from then they worked on acquiring broadcasting rights to various Canadian and French cartoons (Which is how we got Totally Spies, Code Lyoko, Robotboy, George of the Jungle, etc,), continuing with inherited properties from Kids WB (starting with Static Shock way back when, Teen Titans and Johnny Test), continuing to air Christmas specials regardless of quality (that's where I first saw Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer) and even direct-to-video movies were screened on the network.

Then came Nickelodeon, who along with their cartoons also aired sitcoms. Them doing so would guarantee they would get more than just kids to watch their network. While I can't confirm things when it comes to ratings, it seems Nickelodeon would've got more views regardless of quality due to them being able to air just about anything, while Cartoon Network stuck to their guns. 

So, in 2006, perhaps to open the gate for potential new program opportunities, ReAnimated made its debut. I'll get into the reactions soon, but first, trivia.

The film featured a roster of otherwise negligible actors, three of which being kid actors who were burned off a few years after this movie came out. Laughably, this and Out of Jimmy's Head were the high-points to one actor's career (Matt Knudsen who played Sonny.) Perhaps unsurprisingly, he had no notable acting roles after this movie came out. Only notable actor on here is Fred Willard, may he rest in peace.

Along with live action actors, we also have voice actors (appropriately), namely Paul Reubens, Ellen Greene, Tom Kenny and Brian Poeshn. I was close to assuming Jennifer Tilly appeared in this due to how similar one of the characters sounded to her, but this just means Tilly has strong priorities.

But, what do you get when you combine a live-action film that feels like a bootleg Thomas W. Lynch show (The Troop, 100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd, Catlin's Way, The Troop, Romeo!, etc.), with an animation studio that're starving for money? Don't answer that. Most of you may know, but for those coming in, I hate Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi. So it should be no surprise I have no glowing opinion for the studio that helped work on the film, Renegade Animation. I'll go into how badly their work meshes with all else in a bit, but for a preface, this was their second big project (well for Cartoon Network excluding an unrealized pilot from way back when.)

Appleday Studios is just a moniker for Turner Studios for the sake of going with the film.

So, reception.

Divisive can't possibly describe how this film went over, though people were more on about how Cartoon Network aired live action on their network. 10-11 year old me was easily suckered when it came to show promos, and when I saw it, well I didn't think much of it, such is the way with things I actually caught when they were new.

My one revisit as an adult came from MrEnter's review of it from way back when, and as an adult, I'd break my own mouse and/or space key because I'd have to pause the movie so many times just to catch my breath. I watched a lot of Nickelodeon sitcoms back in the day, so I have the stomach for surface level cringe, hell I wasn't harsh to Romeo! a show that started out as tween cringe before pulling a major 180 by the second season and even saw a handful of episodes only a few weeks ago.

When you make a man of low standards cringe, you deserve every bit of scorn and ire.

For perspective, I'd put this film on the same level as School Gyrls, in terms of how obnoxious and painful it is. How so? 90% of everything Enter said about it can be considered the truth about it, and this was during his lesser era. I may make the same points, and if they're verbatim, it's only because I couldn't find a better way to describe them.

So the movie

In my Hi Hi Puffy Ani Yumi review I criticized the show for using an art style that contrasted with is Japan-centric framework, it being only a small sum up of what anime is like (I mean come on, it's based on a Japanese band and has Japanese culture, you gotta commit much further than Jay Ward-centric hijinks)

Okay to the point, much like how that show went by a basic depiction of anime, this show went by a basic depiction of tween-sitcom life, workaholic mom, eccentric dad, down to Earth sister (punchline soon to be intended) and the awkward as hell younger boy who's woefully unpopular. The dad's his principal, but that's honestly meaningless, he feels like a dad who's in a mid-life crisis but is desperate to cling to his childhood. I mean I can forgive watching cartoons, I'd be a hypocrite for mocking him for that since cartoons are timeless, but he's the kind of idiot that lacks any nuance to it.

For now, the movie feels like a mix between Ned's Declassified School Survival guide and As Told by Ginger. The former shows through the film trying to be like a live-action cartoon, but while that managed to be funny more often than not, okay you get the point. But to be specific, it just amounts to characters being over the top, and some random things like animals popping up every now and again.

But on As Told by Ginger, and you may have already caught it if you've seen this and Enter's review, Jimmy (the boy blunder) is friends with Craig, and their friendship is similar to Ginger and Dodie's, where I question the faith of the latter two for each pair. Craig is desperate to be popular, like Dodie. Craig treats Jimmy as a springboard to get approval, like Dodie. Craig annoys the hell out of me, and did I mention Dodie sucks?

To drive the point home, I don't agree with the stigma of calling some characters assholes, so you have to really screw up to make me break that doctrine. And guess what? He's like Sam from Danny Phantom in that he fucks up the life of a so called friend, leading to the major plot.

Jimmy attends a field trip to Golly World (I mean I think that's what it's called), where they learn of a rumor that the brain of its founder, Milt Appleday, had been buried below one of the park's rides (and yes, this is meant to coincide with one certain Disney urban legend. The potential for that had worn thin since 9 times out of 10, it proves to be true in episodes that incorporate that plot.)

So, Jimmy is sent to retrieve the brain, at the behest of Craig who'd gladly send him to an organ harvesting cult, probably, and comes across our antagonist, Sonny Appleday. Once caught, Jimmy tries to get away and gets run over by a train. At least that'd be the most sensible thing to happen. Up until now the cartoon-esque scenes amounted to just over-the-top characters and things that occasionally happen. This is already pretty known, but for the sake of discussion, the slow movement of the train and the collision causes Jimmy to go flying, literally.

Nothing could've made it look good.

After that, the impact causes Jimmy to get hospitalized, and in need of a new brain. You'd think with that kind of accident the brain would be the least of anyone's worries? If it was head first he would've snapped his neck, hell, the impact would've paralyzed him. I'm looking too deep into this, but I just want to know the correlation between a new brain and falling hard onto concrete.

This could be going back into cartoon logic to go with the human cartoon business, but this could also be down to crappy writing, and a desperate attempt to get to the selling point of the film. The only brain the staff has access to is that of Milt's. It had been in one of the doctor's possessions for years, for some reason. So, with Milt's brain he is able to see things through Milt's perspective, namely the cartoons he had created.

For perspective, this is part of Milt's mind, but Jimmy still has his old memories. I don't know the ins and outs of how brains work, but I imagine they took more liberties than necessary.

Okay, let's take a break from this and discuss the quality of the animated bits.

You already know what I think of Renegade's style, but let me tell you, they make things worse. First off, the cartoons themselves, they try to replicate the theater shorts of old, but it just looks like a modern day cartoon made by someone well behind the curve. The cheap flash animation clashes heavily with the live-action bits, cheap green-screening galore. This really just exemplifies how cheap Renegade is, even with Unikitty, they never evolved.

So Sonny paid at least one thoughtful visit my heart goes out to him. He was offered rent, seeing Jimmy he perspired oh, what am I alluding to? That was meant to be a Morrissey reference.

Non cringe sum-up, Sonny finds Jimmy's house and manages to get in by renting a room. There we meet the rest of the family proper, along with My Dad the Dimstar, we meet Jimmy's mom, an astronaut and his sister, a thot who enjoys Shrek cosplaying. Actually no that would make more sense, she is an alien, like an all green, long antenna sporting alien. Some say she was the most tolerable character in the film, but she's just the typical middle-ground type character. I.e., bland and uninteresting.

So, after Craig makes it clear how lowly he views Jimmy, of the toons (which I fucked up and didn't name right away). Mickey and Minnie references Golly and Dolly, Goofy reference Crocco the Aligator, pun-spouting comedian number 5009 Tux (think Luan Loud but more cringe), and Tom and Jerry references Pickle and Prickle.

Call it a minor nitpick, but it seemed like the business with Golly and Milt was meant to be entirely based on Disney. Why else would you go the route of a Disneyland-type themepark, characters meant to be like Mickey and Minnie in terms of structure? The inclusion of Tom and Jerry type characters only gives me a worse perception on the movie's writing. Renegade had no clue on how anime works, the writers had no clue on consistency when it comes to a brand known the world over. Just saying.

Anyhow, seeing how pathetic Jimmy is, Golly opts to help Jimmy straighten himself out and stand up for himself, and it works. My mind blanks after this point, so let's discuss Jimmy's love interest... girl. Or Robin for the sake of following along.

Robin is... all but forgotten to me. Most I can say is that she's on good terms with Jimmy and his topper and has a dark secret... that she like Golly and cartoons in general. If you have to hide your interests for your own sake you are shallow by default. If you wear your interest on the sleeve that means you have nothing to hide. I'd rather be with someone that likes Adam Sandler than Citizen Kane because they'd have more character to them by default.

So anyway, blah blah bruh, we learn that Golly's popularity had been severed by Sonny years ago, yet apparently the theme park is still attracting visitors and past cartoons are shown, I dunno, cheap tickets and syndication?

Jimmy is assigned the new head of Appleday Studios (or Golly World, I dunno), due to him having the mind of Milt, which could keep them on the right direction. He invites his friends to play along in the studio, but becomes distant from them as he has to, shock and horror, honor his role. Hey, he made the right choice blowing Craig off, hurts donit?

This movie features ideas that'd be too complicated for the writers on board, they think tweens are idiots by default, I know it's funny coming from someone like me, but I get it, I just hate rubbing elbows with people like that. They could've done something like explore Milt potentially having a deteriorating mind and it leading Jimmy to doing something potentially fatal (they did have Milt eat flavored paint.) They could've explored Sonny's relationship with Milt and why Sonny became so crazy. You get to a point where you could piece together ideas that'd make the film at least somewhat more interesting. This didn't need to be a tween-com.

It culminates in Sonny tying Robin to the train tracks, just as a new attraction is unveiled which would kill her and cause Jimmy to lose his head so he could get the brain. But Jimmy isn't around as he decides to honor his stockholm syndrome and go to a party helmed by Craig. The choice is clear. To lose Craig is to gain what's important in life.

Jimmy winds up going to save Robin, and remember how I lumped this with School Gyrls? In that film they put in animated bits which suggest they had to cut corners to get the film out on time and cheaply? One scene in this movie gives me that vibe. The world suddenly turns animated and Jimmy charges for Robin, adorned in armor and aboard a steed.

Did they run out of time? Did they blow all their budget on that kick ass train accident scene? Only good thing about it is the animation here doesn't look as ugly as School Gyrls' animated bits, but both are still cheap as hell.

Anyway, Sonny goes through the same fate as his actor's career, Jimmy gets to the party and several years from now will go bankrupt due to him having to handle Craig's finances because he is that weak. Yeah, about that, Jimmy's more assertive nature was treated as a bad thing, so he is devolved back to his old self, well for the most part, he got with Robin (I believe.)

Final thoughts

ReAnimated was a failure on all fronts. It's not that they aired live action on a channel dedicated to cartoons, but that it was a crappy movie that'd make the average Schneider-com blush. All I got from it was more reasons to hate Renegade Animation. Needless to say, few of the actors went on to do much else. The lead actor, beyond a role in Wild Hogs had never done anything else, people seemed to really hate Craig to the point he didn't have another acting role until 2014 (though then again he's more into doing stunts and had landed spots in more prolific films with that.)

It's history, but this managed to get a TV spin-off on CN Real (though that was owed to them wanting to keep costs low as they focused on original content and didn't want to die on some ill-advised venture.) Apparently the staff hated Renegade's work, so they have no involvement in the show. Though they did get help from the guys behind That's So Raven and Even Stevens. Craig didn't appear in this, well the character did but not the actor. Don't ask me to review the show.

Honestly, the only way this movie could've worked is if it were some mid-late 90s horror film (intentional or non-intentional), where Jimmy gets the worst aspects of Milt and we get an idea on why he went belly up, Sonny had been mentally scarred by an abusive father (Milt), and Craig dies at the end.

Tell me that's no better.