I was gonna do a review of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode The Paper, I might still do, if I have the time and energy. Right now, I wanna take whatever time I have to do a little venting.
I've been watching Hey Arnold! again lately, and I maintain it's a good show, but even it has problems, an over-reliance on convenience, characters being used for the sake of a plot, if not to make a bad character look good, Arnold being devolved to a moral guardian, and the crazy thing is is that this wasn't an issue in the later seasons, even Arnold got a bit better around that point.
I feel like around the middle of the show, lesser episodes were quite common. I can understand the purposes of episodes like Helga's Makeover, Door #16, but a lot of episodes around season 3 felt empty. Looking back I realized that Klasky Csupo were like "Bro let me copy your homework." in one or two episodes, but to be fair Hey Arnold did it once with an old sitcom from the 80s, with not much nuance beyond the creepy nature, and they thought no one would notice.
Nickelodeon seems to enjoy recycling a lot of ideas.
Anyhow, Arnold Betrays Iggy is so bad that I actually agree with the sentiments against it. Its B segment was no better either. Two out of every four segments I watch leave me unsatisfied. But anyway, this one somehow made me feel worse.
The Episode
Grandpa Phil is hit with hard times, bickering borders and a building that's basically falling apart, and few are willing to at least suck it up and give him a break, and speaking of convenience, an offer to buy and remove the boarding house just so happens to come up. This leads him to desire a break from it all, a long term break if you will. So what? Is Phil gonna travel to Florida for a nice relaxing retirement but it turns out to be a condominium which is somehow too good to be true and he runs the risk of losing everything for nothing?
Actually that would've been more interesting. How do I put this? Gertie's the least selfish person in the room and she does what she wants. Phil wants to get away from the Borders as he feels he could no longer put up with the rigors of a low quality establishment that may be well out of his hands monetarily, and borders that bicker endlessly, the borders essentially don't want to find a new place to live.
I get the idea behind the conflict, but Ernie and Mr. Hyunh have jobs, and a weeks notice. Oskar has no job but who gives a shit about him? But his wife Suzy does and she wouldn't leave his ass until nearly 19 years later. Nothing is ever easy, or forever. It's pretty shitty to kick people to the curb, but at least for this episode they're asking for it. I could say Phil is nearing the end, but come on, if the family curse doesn't get him he could make it to 150. Hell, he lived 19 years after this episode aired.
(okay, it's wishful thinking that the Jungle Movie would literally take place years after this show, but given how out there the movie was... never mind they were trying to make up for lost time.)
Thing of it is, it's a paradox. Phil is framed as selfish though he has every right to be at the end of his wits, yet the borders are selfish though they are the same as when they started. Who do I root for? There's the moral and ethical concerns of the Borders, but Phil is a funnier character than any of them combined.
Their attempts at dissuading Phil amount to glorified groveling and flattery, and I like how Phil doesn't buy into it even a little, but I'll save that for the end. Think of it like "Here we're being nice, keep patting our asses gramps." Like you have to suck it up every day for the rest of your life because of what path you chose. If this is an attempt at showcasing the dark side to lifetime commitment... no, Helga and the Nanny had better implications.
I wish Lana Vail didn't move out, would've loved to see what she would've said, had she not bowed down to the mob mentality had by the borders, and then I get the idea why she moved out.
So, about the end, for turning down the offer... things return to normal unceremoniously, and to add insult to injury, it's put to words. A hollow promise that's broken almost immediately. What have we learned? You're stuck with the people in your house no matter what so suck it up and bow to their will. I can't even be mad about even signing away the boarding house, because the arguments against it were handled so poorly a scam would've been preferable.
I only technically sided with Phil in this, otherwise I'd just have regrets with nothing to show for it. You go back to relive childhood memories with your favorite shows, only to feel worse when you're old enough to comprehend issues never considered.
Final Thoughts
I at least know where I stand with Arnold Betrays Iggy, I'd say it had better justification for its plot, but that'd be a lie. I never liked Iggy anyways, it's only good if you hate Arnold and want to see him on the retrieving end for a change. I consider Helga's Makeover to be pretty poor too, but then again that came out earlier and few of the characters were truly defined, and this was meant to play into the girl power schtick, at least that's what it feels like.
It's not an oddity that feels more like a fabrication than an actual episode, it's not horrendous, it's not an issue... it's just nothing, not even a basic nothing, an irritating nothing. It's like an itch you feel on one of your toes. You're wearing tightly laced boots, you're driving for a long trip, squishing your toes together doesn't make it work, stopping to scratch it yourself means losing momentum on the highway, that lingering feeling persists and spreads, it's a lose lose situation.
Wanting to move to Florida but force people out to the street with no consideration, against people wanting to keep the owner from selling the joint while only sacking up just to sell a facade, that's a lose lose situation with nothing to show for it. I heard of episodes going back to the status quo, but never during the episode itself, like a full blown circle.
If it's all about family, it's less "We are family." and more "We're your family, you're stuck with us forever, we will do everything in your power to ensure you stay. Live with it." But it beats the hell out of how I'd handle it. "Why do you keep calling me grandpa? I can't be one. I don't have a grandson." See? It doesn't even fit the show.
If this was an anti-Florida pitch, how about you tell us why it sucks, I mean it can't suck, that's where Cr1Tikal comes from, it's awesome by default, awesomely moist.
Constant humidity? Or regret straight to the grave?
Okay, cutting this short, just gonna keep rambling on.
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