Tuesday, November 30, 2021

That Modern Family Guy Christmas Special

 I don't even remember the name, Road to the North Pole? The show's been on for over 20 years, mix-ups happen. So, as someone who's willing to give most new adult cartoons a chance, well I mean The Harper House looks visually pleasing at least, someone who actually kinda liked Brickleberry, and one of the few people who picked up on the social commentary Neighbors from Hell had... I hate Family Guy. They killed Spaceballs in 2008.

I caught a lot of it when it was new, and I remember hating nearly every episode that came of it. It's harsh, but some episode I hated right away, others came overtime. Though it's disputed, I feel as though no one wants the show to end more that the staff. Either that or it's easy money and reinforcement that Disney likes to reach people's hearts through their pockets.

It's nothing new, but compared to other shows, it never got better. Hell, I have no reason to watch television these days so... pfffft. Only reason I'm going back to this now is because it's Christmas, and I bled myself dry with other Christmas specials, and unless I can sack up and defend Santa Claus Conquers the Martians it's either this or I skip the holiday cold turkey.

No background, no nothing, here's why I remember of it.

Is it still okay?

You know how Family Guy used to do cutaways to Conway Twitty? This was a stab at the network who would allow them to do just about anything. This kind of freedom had led to the edgy humor we all know today, but you already know that. I won't compare this to the first Family Guy Christmas episode because, pssh, who do you think I am? Just Stop with my incredibly obvious allegories, weaponizing what was meant to be a joke representing old school punishment and enjoyment of overtly obnoxious and annoying characters because hey she has a personality?

Never bet on a guy who complains about Butch Hartman, should've learned after LSMark.

The opening song goes to show how much cheaper the animation had become, I mean it's kinda like the post season one animation, but shiny. How could one look different yet similar at the same time? Was Family Guy that good, or just very cheap to produce? Not knocking the music itself, that's a high point no matter what.

I'd go more into the plot, but that can easily be broken down, so I'm just gonna go into what I recall of it.

Stewie wants to meet Santa, around this time he adopts traits similar to that of conventional babies. Honestly, I kinda prefer this to his evil nature because that was pretty one-note. If they kept his overt evil nature he'd do what he did when he became president or whatever, maybe.

I get the gist behind Brian and why people hate him, but I draw the line at pseudo-compensation. Why Quagmire of all people? People go into why Brian is bad but why do they draw a blank when it comes to Quagmire? This has been in the back of my mind for quite some time. Was this meant as a trolling method to get people to sympathize with... well you know already.

Brian gave someone herpes? Well Quagmire dated a minor and would've likely, definitely, had sex with her, and you'd turn a blind eye because it's Meg.

Now look, someone has to be Brian's foil, but given the measures they had to do to make Quagmire so, it feels like even they were clueless. All of the sudden he has these connections we didn't know about until now, and I'm wondering if he's making them up to justify it all. There's a difference between douchebaggery and honest mistakes, the latter doesn't happen often but you gotta know. I hate the both of them, but come on, do I side with the douchey mouthpiece who does dumb shit (and douche accounts for 95% of Brian these days), or do I side with the overtly obnoxious, self-righteous, borderline transphobic, pretty much sociopathic...

If it were up to me I'd have them bang and it turns out this animosity was due to Quagmire's repressed homosexual feelings (and bestiality). If this were like American Dad, all they need to do is fuck. 

This wasn't for nothing as this kind of scene occurred. If one took it out it wouldn't change a thing, we'd lose two jokes. Quagmire shaved a girl bald to pretend he gives a shit about cancer victims, then years later all this catches up to him and he suffers a stress induced stroke over Brian not being dead yet, and given he goes by dog years that's worth being mad about, granted.

Heh, wouldn't it be funny if instead of a cheery atmosphere at the North Pole it became all dark and shit?

Yes? You probably laugh at Jay Sherman.

The point behind this is that Santa is overworked due to everyone's constant demand for gifts. That is an interesting idea for a plot, but this is mixed with Family Guy type humor, stretching things out and seeing just how twisted one scene could be made.

It's not outrage worthy, just taking an interesting premise, looking at it, then forget about it as you're halfway through the script. I'm not mad, just disappointed. Even when they basically murder and/or traumatize a family after getting into the wrong house.

So due to Santa being vexed because of all the constant work and demand, Brian and Stewie take to delivering the presents themselves. They get into the wrong house, waste time, kill a man, bound and gag a girl and of all that, it's just realization that it's not easy being Santa. It didn't need to be shown, but it was anyway. Not scarred for life, but I feel those minutes would've been better spent on The Cleveland Show.

I hone in on scenes like these because honestly, that's all I remember from them. Shock value is only good in leaving lasting impressions. We may suck but hey, we'll be remembered somehow. If the cancellation theory held true, maybe they were hoping for enough outrage to have the plug pulled. Was Fox more evil than Disney in this regard? Is that why they divested the network to FoxCorp? Because I still consider both evil.

So for all this, the payoff is Brian convincing everyone to ask for only one present this year. A moral in not being so vain when it comes to material possessions is there, I'll admit, but the journey only barely justifies it.

All I missed from this is the hilarious jokes in-between. You're welcome.

Final Thoughts

Well, at least I got one Christmas review on the chopping block so far. That was an awkward trip down memory lane, at best encouraged by YouTube constantly recommending Family Guy clips. I could swear this is harder to sit through that other Christmas specials people like to whine about.

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