So, High Guardian Spice has been out for a while now. I said I may watch it since I have a Crunchyroll account... but I don't have a subscription, and it looks like they changed up their profile pages. I can see where that subscription money went. They do offer a free trial period, but... I'm not gonna bother.
Yeah, I just settled on small clips. If I paid money to watch this series I'd hate it more because, heh, it's my own damn money, and a waste of a free trial period, and above all on a service I only used once years ago, which is currently owned by the shittiest dubbing company of all time.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to improvise here in an impromptu discussion. It worked kinda well with my discussion of the Rugrats reboot.
Unua Parto: Background or something
So, I'm pretty open minded when it comes to most shows considered bad. I consider Magical Girl Friendship Squad to be interesting and at least mediocre at best, I seriously don't get why people hate the first season of George of the Jungle so bad that some deviantArt fetishist hijacked the production and tried to make it like the original, but was unable to separate their kinks.... Police Academy The Series.
Even from clips alone... there is nothing I like about this show. It's almost as if focusing on diversity in your staff negated the fact that you need to make a good story to show that your diverse staff can make something worthwhile. Women are far more capable of writing good stories than these clamheads are capable of.
Amy Winfrey, created Making Fiends, one of Nickelodeon's more quirky productions. Pam Brady, made Neighbors from Hell, a show that's deeper than people would give it credit for, Julia Vickerman (yes I mentioned her), created Twelve Forever. Okay so I can't name some good examples off the top of my head (aside from one I'm ignoring out of principle, yet I mentioned Julia, clearly my priorities are in check. Siri, what's the symbol for sarcasm?), but great women writers are out there.
The fact that the diverse staff was touted so heavily not only set too high of a standard, but in hindsight it's pretty condescending, even offensive depending on how you look at it. Rather than just letting the work speak for itself, you put these ladies on a pedestal, either implying they're not equal, but better, or showing a lack of faith in what you can deliver. It also represents an emotionally distant attitude that shows they care more about their identity than their craft.
I know this has been done to death, but this really goes to show that priorities were put into the wrong area, and that it didn't help that the end product turned out to be worse than anyone expected it to be.
Only two people ever did anything prior, Raye Rodriguez who not only created the show but acted as a character designer on Danger & Eggs, which was ironically worked on by the same production company as Twelve Forever. I'll give Danger & Eggs the benefit of the doubt that it handles representation better than this show.
Also Kate Leth, was she the one who hates all men as she proudly displayed on her Twitter, and wrote for an Adventure Time comic. I swear as time goes on I'm becoming more and more distant from Adventure Time. It really did mark the end.
I won't go into much else that others did already (beyond whether or not it deserves placement on Crunchyroll), so I will point out one thing that nobody has yet. Apparently Cam Clarke is in this. Yes, Freddy from Barnyard himself, Cam Clarke (also apparently he was some pizza eating amphibian in some capitalist dreck some years ago.) It seems like Clarke is the most desperate for work, having appeared in the Coming out of their Shells Tour video, being one of the only original TMNT actors to do so along with Peter Renaday in some runs, and appearing in two later era Golden Films productions, as well as Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, but wait I actually kinda like that one.
Clarke is openly gay, which seems to have been why he was picked for this to further representation. No other known voice actor is in this. He even went to the trouble of changing lyrics in old songs to put in proper pronouns. It's important to note that Jim J. Bullock is another notable gay actor, but he was never considered. Unless people are catching on to how horribly Queer Duck held up, at least I know Bullock is at least mostly sensible.
I mean then again Clarke also dabbled in anime dubbing so maybe that's why he was more readily available.
Dua Parto: Plot Estimation
Though I didn't see a full episode, I was able to figure out and memorize the names of most of the characters. Rosemary, the adventurous and somewhat naive goofball warrior who's mother was lost long ago. Sage, the witch who is more nervous and the levelheaded one I would guess. By the way I would count on them coming out as loving each other. At least Steven Universe had a semblance of a twist, but even they went overboard.
Anyway, there's also Parsley, a dwarf and locksmith (or aspirant) who I didn't get much out of, and Thyme, the no emotion loner type who, take a wild guess. If you say learns to accept friends in her life to sell on the friendship aspect of the show, can I see your resumes?
So let me get the elephant out of the room, three of these are herbs. I guess they chose spice for the sake of finding a name that sounds cool. Either that or someone felt like doing an obscure reference. This has been mentioned before but to reaffirm it, this is a reference to a Simon and Garfunkel song. I'll give them this, Thyme's a cool name.
I'm not gonna go into how this rips off a lot of shows, allegedly, I'd be out of my element there because I don't watch a lot of anime. I know, shocking. I can say with certainty that this does little to nothing new with its plot structure. So little thought was put into how to make the story more interesting beyond tropes so common you'd think Ian Flynn ghostwrote most of these.
Archie Sonic fans, I expect you to comment below.
It gives me the idea that the writers were so concerned with how to incorporate representation that they wasted the few years of development and had to rely on a checklist to have something to turn in. But really, it goes to show how dry the action genre truly is, and how it has unavoidable cliches, like the dead mother, the evil student, doubt in one self, the quirky protagonist, the stoic dour protagonist, possibly more that I could get from clips alone.
There could be more, but none of the clips I saw fill me with confidence.
Parto Tri: So This is Anime?
There's one aspect that has been talked about to death, a western cartoon being featured on an anime service. I'm not gonna rule out networks or streaming services trying something new, IFC managed to get away with it, so did MTV. But up till this point, Crunchyroll were staunchly an anime service (bar any other oddities that made it on for whatever reason.), so it's fair to question why this made the cut.
Nepotism.
On its own, it's incredibly basic. Stiff movement that seems to try and emulate that of the east.
Visually... it's not good, hell, it fits what everyone has said about it. It's like a double A battery in a triple A battery box, how could you not miss it? For perspective, Crunchyroll released a video previewing their line of upcoming shows. Not even Parsley's big hair would be the signifier of a major difference. Also JPEGs.
It barely even qualifies as anime-esque. Hell, it only looks slightly more anime than Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi. They try their hand at some anime tropisms, but they come off as subpar at best. I won't call the end credits a rip-off of the opening ones in Azuumanga Daioh because apparently it's a favored Shonen tradition, but it looks clunky and very Steven Universe-esque. Doesn't help that Parsley shines the bean smile.
It isn't impossible to emulate anime movements, take two good shows that did it for instance, like Kappa Mikey and My Life Me. A low budget studio and a Canadian one can handle anime visuals and movements better than this.
Also JPEGs.
Those delays suggested less that they were making something great, and more like they wanted to wait until the controversy died down before they could continue. At this rate they blew their chance.
Kvara Parto: Representation
One of the only takeaways people have, and the one thing reviewers focus on, is the representation. Why else did our first glimpse into this go into proverbial dick sucking? I'm all for representation, I believe that trans individuals, queer, gay, lesbian, the like are people too. I respect them as individuals and see them as such, and they are a part of life whether people like it or not.
My problem is how most shows tout them like puppets on a string and are most likely trying to meet a quota, or simply don't know how to write characters like these. At times I feel like diverse individuals are more phobic than actual phobics. It's one thing to ignore them, it's another to parade them like caricatures.
They made Betty DeVille a lesbian because she looked butch enough to fit the role apparently.
They have a lesbian couple, one of which has a purple mohawk and tattoos. How wonderfully stereotypical. Look, how one dresses is up to them, but I feel like too many lesbian characters not only act the part, but have to look it too. Not every lesbian has to go all out, it's all about finding love and satisfaction in the same sex.
It's so bad that people classify TeeLa as a lesbian when she just has an undercut.
But, there is one thing people talk about a lot when they bring up representation in this show. Caraway.
Caraway is a female to male trans character, who just so happens to be based on Raye Rodriguez, aka the creator. The proverbial dick sucking is sounding a lot more realistic when you think about it. People know this, but if you ain't people, what did Caraway do to explain his transition.
Did he:
A. Allude to his transition when Rosemary discovered that he used to be female when he was younger.
B. Defines transgenderism while halfheartedly incorporating elements of the show into it.
C. Lash out at Rosemary for bringing up his dead gender.
I know most new people would think it's either none of these or immediately pick the one most synonymous with anti-SJW folk, but I don't fly like that. So the correct answer is B. Caraway explains what transgenderism is, but substitutes hormone pills and any reassignment surgery to potions and new magic, the main motif of the show.
Now this would be fine if this was a show aimed at little girls, like the art style would imply. But no, it's meant for mature audiences. Kids can get drag queens to educate them on gender and sexual diversity, but apparently creators think people become more stupid as they get older.
Caraway's reveal has an underlying sense of self-gratification and reflects how out of touch he is with the rest of society. While transgenderism isn't 100% accepted, it is at least mainstream and contemporary, people can figure it out quite easily. Raye was just tooting his own horn, and I barely got more beyond his identity and association with Rosemary's mom.
There's more to an LGBT character than just being their identity, like their personality, their motivations, the like. I want people in the LGBT to feel like they don't have to pull an extravagant guise just because they operate differently. Not all lesbians have freaky hair-dos or a punk like exterior, not all trans individuals are one note with a twist of egotism.
Goes to show their touting of diversity reflects an underlying superiority complex and a lack of connection to common sense or the deeper struggles of those in the LGBT.
Dare I say it, I wish Gen Zed got made over this, at least they showed animation the first time it reared its head into the ring.
Parto Kvin: Final Thoughts
There's nothing in this show that peaks my interest. I don't even wanna check it out in full. I know I'm tempting fate with that, but there has to be interest in order to inspire watching it. I'd probably feel the same if I had watched it, and I tend to disagree with the majority a lot of the time.
Even without the disastrous initial trailer, the show would still be bad. No innovation, basic animation, borderline ugly art style but certainly lazy, and JPEGs, generic characters, generic storyline, and representation that would set the LGBT back by years.
Am I wrong? I implore you, if you had seen the show, tell me if I'm wrong.
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